A Possum's Tale
by Annelisa
Summary: What happens when Daryl Dixon's niece falls for Officer Friendly and the feelings are mutual? Set in Season 3, after Lori's death. Daryl, Merle, Rick, Carl, Judith, Hershel, Beth, Rowan, Martinez & a few residents from Woodbury. A little humor, romance & drama, not much killing because there is plenty in the show. AU & Rated M for Dixon mouth & smut. Please read, review and ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

A dark-haired woman, perched in a tree like a bird, watched the prison. Several people were inside the fence. Honest-to-God living people. Not dead people walking but real live people. The terrible reek of the decayed bodies that they were burning wafted its way to her nose. _Ugh_. She gagged. She should be used to the stench by now but she wasn't and doubted that she ever would be. She tied a dirty red bandana around the lower half of her face. It didn't really help dispel the odor much but it was better than nothing.

Now the question was, did she want to make contact with these people? The last group she was with left her with a bad taste and a desire to avoid other survivors altogether. However, she was practical and knew she couldn't survive long on her own. Safety in numbers, right? That's not what her daddy would say but he wasn't here to help her. _Ain't nobody you can count on but yourself and your family_. _Don't you ever forget it, Ladybug. _ This group looked like _a_ family. They worked together like a family. There was a young boy in a big hat laughing with a blonde teenage girl. An old man on crutches who could be someone's grandpa. A woman with short hair was feeding a bottle to a baby. Two men were throwing decayed corpses on the fire. Another was in the guard tower. He had binoculars and watched the road that led to the gate. She made sure to stay hidden from his view. Another man walked the fence, stopping occasionally to examine it closer. Maybe these people were different than the others. She wanted them to be different.

The young woman had been on her own only a week, give or take a day, or two, or maybe even three. One day was just like another now and she had lost count. She was so hungry. So tired. Nights were still cold and she was afraid to go to sleep. Afraid she'd wake up to being eaten alive by the dead. So a fitful nap here and there, only if she found a safe place, had to suffice. Just enough to sleep to function was what she managed to get by on. Barely.

She had been in Atlanta for her college roommate's wedding when the dead started walking. Things got out of hand fast at the bachelorette party and it went downhill from there. A fight broke out. Someone got bit and then someone else. When she saw a supposedly dead bridesmaid rise up and bite the bride, she high-tailed it back to her hotel room, packed her stuff and got the hell out of Dodge. At least she tried. She escaped the city only to be stuck in the gridlock that had turned every highway leaving Atlanta into a parking lot.

She was just so damned tired of running and hiding. She blinked the tears back that threatened to fall. _Cut that shit out, girl. Ain't nothin' worse than a crybaby. Tears ain't never fixed nothin'. _Her daddy's voice echoed in her head. She hadn't seen him for almost ten years but he was never far from her thoughts, especially now. Sure he was an asshole and a pretty lousy father figure but he did teach her a thing or two in summers she spent with him that had kept her alive this far. Her daddy wasn't there half the time because he was either in jail or only God knows where and she stayed with her uncle who was a marginally better "surrogate" father. Her friends assumed her stepfather was actually her real dad and she didn't bother to correct them. Her momma, Rachel Landry, said it took months to undo the damage her daddy and uncle caused. At the tender age of five, she called a playmate a "stupid fucking bitch" and got kicked out of the play group. As soon as they got home, her momma called and cussed her daddy out, threatening to stop the visits. But it was a bluff, of course. Her momma wasn't giving up her kid-free summers so she kept sending her only daughter back to Georgia to her backwoods redneck daddy and his backwoods redneck brother. Once, she even heard her daddy tell her uncle that she probably wasn't even his kid. Her momma tried to slap him but he caught her hand and growled, "_Just get the hell outta here but you best come get the kid 'fore school starts." _

A loud rumble jolted her awake. _Shit!_ She must have dozed off again. _What was that?_ The rumble grew into an ear-splitting roar. A familiar ear-splitting roar! The dead at the fence were getting riled up at the racket. There were shouts at the gate. The man in the watch tower began picking off the dead as they turned towards the clamor. A large man in prison garb pulled the gate open with screech and immediately slammed it shut when the Triumph Bonneville with two riders blew through.

"Daddy? Oh my God," she cried. _It can't be. _The bike and riders disappeared from her sight. _It is him! He's alive! He's really alive!_ That _was_ her daddy's customized Triumph. It was one-of-a-kind. He loved that bike. She would play in the front yard while he tinkered with it every weekend. She smiled to herself remembering the the day she actually got to ride on it with him. "Get yer swimsuit, Ladybug. We're goin' to the lake!" She scrambled up behind him and wrapped her skinny arms around his waist. "Hold on tight, baby girl!" he hollered over his shoulder. Her uncle followed in his truck with the fishing poles and sandwiches. They spent the whole afternoon just having fun, swimming, fishing and napping. Her daddy didn't even get mad when she "caught" him in the arm with a fish hook. He just pushed the barb through his skin, cut it off and pulled it out while she stood watching with big eyes and trembling lips. He patted her head. "Don't worry, darlin.' Ain't nothin'." Then he picked her up and threw her in the lake.

_I finally found you, Daddy._ With a trembling breath she lowered herself to the ground. She half-ran, half-stumbled toward the prison gate. "Daddy!" She could make it if she ran fast enough. Just a little farther. She tripped over her own feet and hit the ground hard, skinning her knees and palms. "Damn it! Wait!" she screamed. "Please!" Her voice was hoarse with disuse. _No! _ They didn't hear her but she kept running.

_Oh God_! She wasn't going to make it. Her hollering caught the attention of the dead milling around the gate and they turned toward her. She wasn't much faster than the broken bodies coming at her. She could dodge them...she fell again. Tears blinded her.

_Get up, Ladybug! _

"I'm trying, Daddy."

_Tryin'? Shit, girl. Just do it! Run! _

She jumped up and ran, her daddy's harsh voice spurring her forward.

A bullet whistled by her head. "Don't shoot! Please, don't shoot!" she cried out.

_Don't look back, baby girl! Keep goin'! Almost there. _She wove around the dead with their reaching arms and desperate growls and threw herself against the prison gate and began climbing. She didn't stop until she reached the razor wire. She clung on for dear life with her bloody, damaged hands as the people who gathered on the inside began stabbing the encroaching dead through the fence.

"Hold on, girl!" someone yelled.

_Like I would let go_, she thought. Even though her hands throbbed in pain, she could probably hold on forever. They might have to pry her fingers loose to get her down.

"Are we going to let her in?" asked the boy in the big hat.

"Amanda?" a masculine voice asked with disbelief.

She burst into sobs. "Uncle Daryl!"

"Open the fuckin' gate!" he ordered. The man squinted up at her as he came around to stand beneath her. "You look like a damned treed 'possum, girl."

"I'm stuck." Her sore fingers wouldn't budge.

"Get the fuck down or I'm goin' put an arrow in your ass!" he warned, impatiently.

"Don't yell at me! I'm trying!"

"Come on, girl. Hurry up more walkers are coming!" Amanda screamed as the tall black man, called Oscar, yanked hard on her feet, pulling her loose. She fell with an "oomph" against the solid wall of his chest but he caught her before she hit the ground and carried her roughly inside the gate while her uncle slammed it shut, locking the remaining dead outside.

"Damn, college girl. You still alive? You really are a Dixon." Daryl Dixon pulled her into a bear hug. She collapsed against his chest crying and laughing at the same time.

"I heard that stupid bike. Daddy's stupid, wonderful bike. I knew ya'll had to be here." He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her so tight she could barely breathe. "I can't believe I found ya'll, Uncle Daryl. I've been looking for so long." He stiffened and she pulled back to look at his grim face. "Where's Daddy?"

He shook his head. "Don't know for sure, Possum. Ain't seen him for about a year." Amanda swallowed a lump in her throat and tried not to sob again. _Tears ain't never fixed nothin'. _But, the tears streamed down her face anyway. She was just too exhausted to fight them anymore.

"Hey, hey, girl," Daryl said softly and tilted her chin up. "He's a Dixon. If you survived this shit, you know your daddy did. Right? I just ain't found him yet. Only Merle can kill Merle."

That's what she was afraid of. Her daddy had always been his own worse enemy. She nodded and forced a smile. At least she found Daryl. "Now, c'mon, Possum. Let's get you fed and you can meet the rest of our people."


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning at breakfast, the tight-knit group watched Amanda with open curiosity. After all, Daryl Dixon rarely spoke about his personal life or much of anything for that matter. He hadn't mentioned his family other than his brother who hadn't been seen since Atlanta and his mother who had died in a fire when he was young. So the fact that Daryl had a niece who showed up at the prison was quite the surprise under any circumstance. Finally, Carl spoke up, "You don't look like Merle."

"Thank God, huh." Daryl chuckled. "She looks like her momma but she's got the Dixons' eyes and Merle's crazy-ass hair."

"Is that why he shaved his head?" Carl asked innocently.

Rick hushed him while trying to hide his own smile as Amanda self-consciously tried to smooth down her wild dark curls. "Thanks a lot, kid. You know how to make a girl feel pretty." She smiled and winked at him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, eyes down.

"It's okay, Carl." Daryl laughed and tugged on a particularly bouncy curl. His niece tried to smack his hand away but he was too fast. "Merle used to call her his little mop head, among other names I ain't sayin' here."

"Are you from Atlanta?" asked Rick.

"No. New Orleans. I was here for a wedding." She said between bites of the tasty meal Carol had prepared. "Since I was a baby, I spent summers in Georgia with Daddy and Uncle Daryl." There were a few raised eyebrows around the table. "I know," Amanda chuckled. "Not the ideal situation for a little girl."

"Hey, you survived, didn't you?" Daryl grumbled, lightly shoving her shoulder with his. She shoved back

"I guess that's why Daryl is so good with Lil Ass-kicker," Beth added as she fed Judith.

"Lil Ass-kicker? Really?" Amanda shot her uncle an incredulous look. No one else here would give a baby girl such a horrible nickname.

He just shrugged. "Well, we had to call her somethin'. 'Sides, you don't wanna know what me and Merle called you and _you _had a name."

Carol shook her head and smiled. "I can only imagine."

"No. You can't." Daryl said, shaking his head. Everyone laughed.

"Do you know if your mom is...alive still?" the boy asked her.

Amanda shook her head and fought back silent tears. "Don't know, Carl. I called her when all this sh- I mean crap was happening in Atlanta. She told me to find Daryl and Daddy because if anyone could survive this mess it would be them. She said the Dixons were like cockroaches. You can't kill 'em."

Daryl snorted. "Guess that's true." He stood up and ruffled her hair causing it to stick out even more. Again, Amanda tried to smack his hand away but she still wasn't fast enough. "I'm gonna relieve Oscar. Join me later, Possum."

"Why does he call you Possum?" Carl asked.

Amanda laughed, "You'll have to get Daryl to tell that story. He tells it so much better than me."

"Aw, shit. I ain't got time for this. Oscar needs ..." Her uncle tried to slip out the door.

"It's not that long, Uncle Daryl." She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back to the table.

"Pleeeease!" pleaded Carl, then Beth and Carol joined in. Hershel hid a smile behind his hand.

Rick interrupted their pleading. "Daryl, I'm sure Oscar can wait a few more minutes. Besides, I think Glenn and Maggie were headed that way."

"Thanks, man." Daryl shot his friend a dirty look. "You do know Glenn and Maggie ain't goin' be doin' much watchin', dontcha?"

He just smiled and said, "Just sit back down and relax for a moment. We never get to hear about your family, Dixon."

"There's a reason for that," he grumbled. "I owe you one, girl."

"Oooh...I'm _sooo_ scared," she teased.

"If you knew what's good for you, you would be!" her grumpy uncle warned.

Rick laughed. "Okay! Kids, that's enough! Everyone be quiet and let _Uncle Daryl_ tell his story."

Daryl shook his head and sat back down. "Watch your back, little girl," he mouthed to Amanda who rolled her eyes and bit her lip to keep from laughing at him.

"It was a Sunday, and me and Merle was watchin' a football game, and drinkin' some beer. Merle was half-passed out on the couch when that one," he jerked a thumb towards his niece, "if I 'member rightly, was about four. She came in carrying a bucket and hollerin', 'Daddy, Daddy, Uncle Daryl. Found me some kitties. They's mommy's dead. Can I keep 'em?' Merle just mumbled somethin'. Don't even think he was awake and she says 'Yay. Thanks, Daddy. Wanna see em?'" Daryl's shoulders started shaking with laughter as he remembered a happier time. "She was right up in his face tugging his eyelids open. 'Look, Daddy. Daddy?' she wailed. Merle, he just grunted again. Well, baby girl, there, pulled out a dead momma possum with babies still clinging to its back and dropped it right smack on Merle's face. Merle roared, and slung a beer bottle right through the TV screen. 'What the fu-! Get those goddamn effing things outta here.' Amanda was crying 'Please don't hurt my kitties, Daddy. Please!' Then she put her little fists on her hips and her bottom lip jutted out. She stomped her foot. 'You said I could keep 'em, Daddy!' Merle closed his eyes and I reckon he was countin' or or prayin' or somethin' cuz when he finally opened 'em, he just looked at her, smilin' this big-ass grin and said, 'Well, of course ya can keep 'em, Ladybug.' Then he turns to me and yells, 'Daryl! Take care of these mother f-ing damn poss-, er kittens.'"

"Did you keep them or you cook them?" Carl asked.

"Oh my God, Carl!" Beth laughed and then turned to the redneck and asked, "Well, what _did_ you do with them, _Uncle Daryl_?

"Took 'em to the wildlife rescue center," he said quickly and escaped before anyone else could say a thing.

"Well," said Carol. "I don't suppose we'll hear from him for the rest of the day. He's used up his word quota for a week."

* * *

Amanda was wearing a fresh set of clothes generously donated by Beth. She was so happy to get out of the other ones that she'd been wearing a month. Beth also helped braid her shoulder-length curls into some semblance of order. At least it was out of her face, now. She almost felt human again.

She made her way to the guard tower where her uncle was on watch. A few walkers milled about the gate but nothing too threatening. She still couldn't believe she found him. She hugged his waist tightly and kissed his subbled cheek loudly. He patted her shoulder. "That's enough, girl," he said and pulled away.

_Same ol' Daryl._ "Do you really think Daddy's still alive?" she asked, half-afraid of hearing the answer.

"Ain't seen nothin' to make me think otherwise, Possum," he answered, staring down the road that led to the prison gate. "How'd you survive on your own?"

"Met up with some nice people, actually. A pretty good size group." Her eyes reflected the sad memories of the good people that didn't make it. "They kept getting killed off until it was just me. Then I found some more survivors. Kinda the same thing happened, again." She paused a moment then nudged her uncle with her shoulder. "Damn, I guess maybe I really am a Dixon."

He grunted and squeezed her shoulder.

"Daddy didn't think I was a Dixon."

He turned her to face him. "Why'd you say that?"

"I heard him tell Momma so. He called her a slut and told her that she just wanted someone to dump her little bastard off on so she could party."

Daryl shrugged and shook his head. "That was Merle jus' bein' Merle. He took one look at you and knew you were his. He just had trouble wrappin' his brain around the fact that somethin' so perfect was part of him. Hell, I did too. You were too good to be a Dixon. Shit, baby girl. You're the first Dixon to go to college. _And_ graduate. Your Daddy was proud of you. Me, too."

"He never said anything to me," she commented sadly

Daryl sighed. "Ya know we ain't good with that stuff. Especially Merle." Amanda raised an eyebrow. "Okay! Neither of us is but that don't mean we ain't proud. For what it's worth, Possum, we was comin' to your graduation, your college one. Left a couple of days early, too. Merle wanted to check out the casinos in Biloxi. Your daddy, well, he had a little too much to drink, got in a bar fight with a couple of coon asses an' we was both throwed in jail."

Amanda leaned her head on his shoulder. Now she felt guilty. She never heard that story but she also never made an effort to keep in touch with her daddy. She never even used her daddy's last name. It wasn't on her birth certificate. "No, Daryl. I guess wasn't good enough to be a Dixon, yet."

Her uncle snorted in protest.

But," she continued, "I want to be one, now. It's got me this far. As of this day, Amanda Landry no longer exists. I'm now Amanda Dixon and proud of it."

One corner of his mouth turned up into that familiar smirk, "You're one crazy bitch. Gotta be a Dixon, for sure."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Possum! C'mon, help me clean dinner. I got a half-dozen squirrels, a rabbit ... and a possum." _Damn!_ Daryl found her.

"Ha ha. Funny." Maybe she could weasel her way out of it. Again. Amanda hated cleaning game, always had, and her uncle knew it. It made her queasy. Merle made her do it anyway and it looked like Daryl was going to make her do it, too. Apparently not even an apocalypse was gonna change that.

"Ain't kiddin', girl. It's your turn. You been dodgin' me for a month."

"No! I haven't ..."

"You gonna stand there and lie to my face?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said resignedly. "But you're gonna do the opossum!"

Daryl chuckled. "Fine. Gimme your knife." He looked at it thoughtfully. "Good, nice and sharp. This the one Merle gave ya?" She nodded even though it was more of a statement than a question. Her daddy gave it to her when she turned ten. The knife was the coolest, most grown-up birthday gift she'd ever received. It was compact and had a beautiful mother-of-pearl inlaid handle. She loved it. Merle taught her how to keep it sharp and how to hide it in various places where no one would see it on her person. "You were so proud of this knife." Her uncle laughed. "Man, I can still see your momma's face when you showed it to her. She lit into Merle somethin' awful. Think someone called the cops." They did. Fortunately, no one, meaning Merle, was hauled off to jail. He agreed to keep the knife "safe" for her until she came back. Amanda didn't talk to her momma for almost two weeks after that. By the time the next summer rolled around, her momma had already forgotten about it so Amanda slipped it into one of those "secret hiding places" and hadn't been without it since.

Daryl handed the blade back, handle first. "'Member how to do this, Possum?"

"Yeah. Sorta. I think so," she said in a little voice. "Maybe."

"Well, get started, then. You're wastin' daylight."

She squinted up at the cloudless sky. The sun was just above the horizon. "It's not even noon, yet, Daryl."

"Quit yapping."

God she hated this. Holding her breath, she poked the squirrel with the tip of the knife and jumped back. Her stomach rolled and breakfast threatened to come back up.

"You gotta be kiddin' me!"

"I can't help it! I just wanted to make sure it was dead. Remember that one time the..." she shuddered, clearly remembering when she brought home an opossum that had been apparently playing dead until she tried to cut it.

"Fuck, Amanda! _I_ shot these. They're dead and they ain't comin' back!"

"Don't yell at me, Uncle Daryl!"

"Don't 'Uncle Daryl' me! Shit, girl! Just clean the fuckin' thing. You got soft...softer. Glad your daddy ain't here to see this."

"Shut up, Daryl! That was just plain mean."

Carl came jogging up. "Hey, Daryl. Hey, Amanda. Judith's asleep. You want some help?"

"Yes!" answered Amanda gratefully.

"No!" yelled Daryl.

"Why do I have to do it if Carl wants to?"

"Cause ya gotta be able to do it when you hafta. You was half-starved when you found us. Now shut up and let's get this done."

"I can help you, Amanda," Carl offered.

"Good luck, kid. You'll be doin' all the work."

She stuck her tongue out at Daryl. "Ain't you growed up, yet?"

"No. Being half-raised by you and Merle set me back a few years."

Carl laughed and grabbed a squirrel. "Just do what I do." She followed Carl's gentle instructions and actually completed the task with only having to run to the bushes once to puke. Carl politely looked away. Daryl called her a big baby.

By the time she and Carl finished their two squirrels, Daryl had cleaned everything else. "You're gonna keep doing this 'til you don't get sick. Ain't gonna be no more hiding. Got it, Possum?"

"You're a bully."

"Brat."

Carl laughed. "Do I have to be the grown-up here? Let's get this meat to the kitchen before they come lookin' for us."

* * *

Amanda jogged out to the fence where Rick Grimes was making his daily sweep for any breaches or weak spots. The man had checked it everyday, without fail, since his wife died. Daryl said Rick blamed himself for not killing the prisoner who set all the walkers on them. Even though no one could have foreseen that tragedy, he wouldn't forgive himself for it. Amanda had joined him on several occasions. Sometimes, they talked. Sometimes, they just walked. She discovered she liked his quiet company. "Hey, Rick." she called out and he waited for her to catch up. "Want some company?"

Rick looked back, hand shading his haunted blue eyes. "Sure. I'm almost done."

"I can help, if you want. I mean tomorrow or another day. You know, to give you a break."

He shook his head and ran his hands through his dark hair. "Thanks, but I need to do this, Amanda." He went on ahead, continuing his inspection, ignoring the few walkers that trailed along on the other side of the fence. They walked along in comfortable silence. On beautiful days like this, she could almost pretend the world was normal. Birds were chirping. A gentle breeze lifted a stray curl away from her face. She closed her eyes and raised her face to meet the warm Georgia sun. Yes. Almost normal. Almost. Except for the damned moaning and shuffling of dead people barely ten feet away. Disappointed, she opened her blue eyes to find Rick watching her with a curious smile. _Shit! _A blush crept up her face. "You okay?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah," She nodded. "I guess I'll go see if Beth or Carol needs help."

"What were you thinking?" He wanted to know what put that smile on her face. It was a peaceful smile that was void of worry or pain. A smile someone her age ought to have. The kind he was afraid he'd never see on his own son's face again.

"Nothing."

"I was a cop. I know you're lying." He grinned. "Don't wanna tell me?"

"Nope. It was silly."

He stared at her. His eyes twinkled as his own smile reached them.

"You can't intimidate me. So just stop it," she laughed, unconvincingly.

"Stop what?"

"Trying to make me embarrass myself even more."

"I wouldn't do that." He took a step closer glaring down at her with his best serious cop face.

"Okay! I give up. You were a damn good cop, weren't you? I was trying to pretend everything was normal. Like I said, it was silly."

"Why's that silly?"

She shrugged. "Just wishful thinking. Not like it's going to happen in our lifetime." _Oh that was just great_, she thought, as the smile faded from his weary face.

Rick frowned and started walking again. "Let me finish up this last section with me and I'll walk back with you."

"I need something else to do here, Rick."

"What do you mean?" he asked, not looking at her. "You take your turn on watch and pick up the slack when the others need help. What else did you have in mind?"

"I could go on supply runs." She crossed her fingers silently hoping he would say yes.

He shook his head. "Don't think Daryl will let that happen." _No shit. _She had tried to approach the subject with him already. The operative word being "tried." He shut her down as soon as she said supply run. She was beginning to think Daryl was more of a hard ass than her daddy ever was.

"Damn it, Rick. He's my uncle, not my daddy. Besides, I'm fast and I'm a good shot."

"Doesn't matter, Amanda. He feels responsible for you now that you found him. You're all the kin he has left."

"Did you know my daddy?"

Rick sighed heavily. "I met him once." Sooner or later, the subject of Merle was bound to come up in their conversations. He and Daryl had already talked about it. Daryl told him that he saw no reason to tell his niece what had happened with her dad that day on the rooftop in Atlanta. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago.

"My daddy doesn't like cops much."

"No. That's true."

"So, I guess ya'll didn't hit it off." She stared at him intently.

"You could say that." That was the mother of all understatements.

"Do _you_ think he's alive?" There was a small hint of hope in her question. He didn't want to be the one to squash it. He was pretty sure the man would have bled out. He should have. If not, he would have been too weak to defend himself. He couldn't see anyone surviving that kind of trauma on their own.

"Daryl thinks so, Amanda, and that's what counts. He knows Merle better than anyone."

"Yeah, he does. I hope he's right."

Rick squeezed her hand and smiled wanly. "I'm gonna check on Judith."

**Thanks to all my readers! Please take the time to review and let me know what you think!**

**Happy reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

Rick enjoyed Amanda's company on his excursions around the fence line more than he would have thought. For the past few weeks it had become routine for them to make the inspection together. Her idle conversation kept him from falling into that black hole of guilt that was forever lurking nearby. Today it was just the two of them but often, Carl tagged along and much to his son's delight, she regaled them with tales about her life with the Dixon brothers. Sometimes, it was funny. Other times, not so much. One thing for sure, life with the Dixons was never boring. He heard the wistfulness in her voice when she spoke of her dad. As much as she bitched about him, she loved him dearly and apparently the man had doted on her. Rick just couldn't reconcile the image of a doting father with the drugged-out Merle Dixon he met briefly in Atlanta.

Last week, Glenn, Oscar, and Daryl found a sporting goods store that wasn't completely ransacked. Daryl brought back some new bolts for his crossbow, a couple of small bows and quivers of arrows for Beth and Carl, and a slew of baseball bats for everyone. Glenn, dear sweet Glenn, brought back a bag o' fun filled with baseballs, footballs, soccer balls and a couple of Frisbees. Rick smiled, remembering how Carl's face lit up when Glenn dumped the sack out onto the prison floor.

Amanda said Daryl was a great baseball player, probably could have gone pro. Rick tended to agree when he watched Daryl and Oscar hit balls across the yard. Amanda wasn't so bad either. She said she played softball in high school. She pitched and Daryl hit every ball, more than a few flying low and fast over the fence. Glenn complained about the "waste" of the balls but Daryl told him he should have thought about that when he forgot to get the mitts.

Rick and Amanda just finished walking the perimeter when Carl called out "Dad! Amanda! We're playing soccer. C'mon we need more people!" It was Glenn and Maggie against Carl and Beth. Herschel sat on the sidelines with Carol and Baby Judith who was gnawing on Carl's hat. Daryl and Oscar were on guard duty.

Rick started to protest, "Carl, I don't have t..."

Amanda poked him in the side. "Yes, you do have time," she admonished him in a gentle voice. "Don't disappoint Carl."

Carl was grinning...like a kid who didn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders. _Shit_. This was what he wanted, wasn't it, Rick thought. His son was laughing. He was happy. She was right. He couldn't let the boy down. He wasn't there for him when Lori...he pushed that thought away. He was here, now. "C'mon Dad, be on my team. Amanda can be on theirs."

"Gee thanks, I get picked last," she muttered.

Rick grinned down at her. "They must've seen you play before."

"Hey, that's not funny, Grimes." She shoved him backwards and took off running toward the others. "Race ya, old man!"

Rick watched her lithe form run, wild hair flying behind. _Old man, my ass! _He was going to prove her wrong. "You don't play fair, Amanda," he called as he closed in behind her. She tried to trip him but he swerved, easily passed her, and ran on to the make-believe field, stole the soccer ball from Maggie and kicked it straight between the two overturned trash cans they were using as a goal.

"SCORE!" yelled Carl and Beth.

"No way!" protested Glenn.

"Talk about not fair!" Amanda playfully punched Rick in the arm. He laughed and "punched" her back.

"Hey ref, aren't you going call foul or something?" Maggie asked her dad.

Herschel threw his arms up and yelled, "Goal!"

"That's for football, Herschel" Glenn complained.

"Don't be a poor sport." Rick clapped him on the back and handed over the ball. Glenn passed it to Maggie and smiled as she and Beth tussled over the it, both of them falling in a heap of laughter onto the grass while the ball rolled away. Amanda reached it before Rick and headed toward the goal but Carl was hot on her heels.

"No you don't, you little monster." She tried to dribble the ball around him. "Quit pushing, Carl! That's illegal!" She laughed and tried to knock him away. She was almost there. She was going to make her first goal! No one could stop her. Not even this little...

_Whoosh!_

She screamed as all the air flew out of her lungs when Rick grabbed her waist from behind and swung her feet off the ground. "Go Carl! go!" He cheered as they both fell to the ground. And Carl kicked the ball into the goal.

"We win!" Carl whooped and Beth joined him in a victory dance.

"For a cop, you sure play crooked," Amanda laughed breathlessly as she lay where she fell on top of Rick.

"Awww, Possum...don't be a sore loser." Rick propped up on his elbows, rolling her off.

"You can't call me that! It's bad enough I hear it from Daryl every day."

"You don't like it? I think its cute."

"No, it isn't." She reached over to hit his arm again but he caught her fist.

His blues eyes sparkled. "You have violent tendencies, young lady."

"Must be the Dixon blood. You going to do something about it, officer?"

Still grinning, he pushed her sweaty hair back, letting his hand linger just a moment against her cheek. His voice was soft, only for her. " Maybe. I know a few..."

"High-five, Dad!" Carl ran over. Rick dropped his hand from her face to high-five his son and Beth. "We make a great team."

"Yes, we do, son," he said, rising and giving Amanda a hand up. Her legs were a bit shaky. Her brain was still trying to process that tiny moment of intimacy. It couldn't have been her imagination. She touched her face and could still feel the heat of his touch. It had been real. She watched as father and son walked over to Herschel and Carol. He looked back at her and smiled then he picked up his baby girl and snuggled her neck. "Did you see Daddy and Brother crush the other team." The baby giggled and grabbed Rick's hair.

Amanda smiled at the sweet sight. He was a good daddy. Sweet and gentle.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?"

"Shit, Daryl! Don't sneak up on me."

He glared at her. "I ain't sneakin', girl. You're just standin' there like a damn fool when you're sposed to be on watch. Get your ass to the tower, now."

Daryl followed her. "Take a break, Oscar. Ya been here all day."

"Hell, man, it beats being inside," the ex-prisoner snorted. "But if ya'll need some privacy, I'll just head over to the west tower." Oscar had spent many nights camping out in one of the towers. After ten months of being trapped in the prison cafeteria in deplorable conditions he had no desire to be locked inside the walls again.

Daryl waited until the large man was out of earshot then turned sharply on his niece. "What the fuck was that about?"

"What the _fuck_ are you talking about?" Amanda was confused.

He pointed towards the prison. "You moonin' over Rick. I thought maybe it was nothin'. You followin' him around like a bitch in heat but now I ain't so sure. What the fuck are you doin'?"

_Bitch in heat? BITCH IN HEAT!_ "What did you just say?" She was furious. Her fists balled at her sides and she literally saw red. Must've been her damned Dixon blood boiling all the way up to her eyeballs. She was going to punch him. _Bitch in heat?!_

"Fuck!" he yelled as her fist connected. "You hit me?" He rubbed his bruised chin in disbelief. " You fuckin' hit me?"

Her right hand was throbbing. _Damn_, but she didn't know it'd hurt so bad to punch someone. "Don't you ever talk to me like that again!"

"Quit being selfish and grow up, Amanda Lynne Dixon."

"You forget that I'm not sixteen anymore. I am grown up."

"Then act like it!

"Rick's a good-lookin' man and if I want to look him, I will!"

"Shut up, ya little brat."

"I'm not a virgin, _Uncle Daryl_. I miss a man's touch."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" _God, please make her shut up. I don't wanna hear this shit. I ain't never hit a woman and I ain't gonna start to now, but if she don't shut her damn mouth..._

"Is it just Rick or is it any man. Because I'm pretty sure Oscar and Herschel are single. Think they're lonely, too? Would that make it easier for you?"

"Amanda..." He rubbed his hands over his face. _Make her stop. Please!_

"I mean really, Daryl. What's the problem?"

"Amanda..." He took in a really slow deep breath and exhaled. "I don't want to see ya get hurt, Possum. Either one of ya. His wife just died and..."

"Lori died over six months ago," she interrupted.

"Rick's been through a lot of shit and he doesn't need to deal with yours."

"Maybe my shit, as you so eloquently put it, is exactly what he needs."

"Daryl! Amanda!" Their heads jerked in unison as the object of their heated discussion made his way up the tower steps.

"Fuck," Daryl hissed.

_Oh shit. _Amanda cringed, hoping it was getting dark so Rick couldn't see her burning face.

"What's wrong with ya'll? You wanna bring all the walkers within the sound of your voice down on us? 'Cause I'm sure they can hear you at least a mile out." His voice was low and harsh.

"Sorry." Daryl mumbled and ran a hand through his hair. He refused to look his friend in the eye. He couldn't. Not right now.

"Daryl, get some rest man. I'll take over here."

"I can do it, Rick. It was just a little family misunderstandin'."

"Go on, Daryl. I said, I got it." Rick's tone left no room for arguments and frankly, Daryl was tired of arguing. Sleep sounded good. He grabbed his crossbow and left but not without giving Amanda a warning look that would have withered anyone else but a Dixon.

Rick turned his attention sharply to her. "Do we need to talk?"

She cringed even more. _Shit, shit, shit!_ "How much did you hear?"

"Enough."

_**Thanks to all my lovely reviewers and followers. Your kind words and comments keep me going! **_

_**A special THANKS goes out to Siarh for her never-ending patience and support!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_Shit! Fuck! Damn! Enough? What exactly does Rick mean by "enough"? _"Can you please be a bit more specific?" Amanda asked sheepishly.

He ran his hand through his hair, and stared at her. "Possum-"

"I told you to stop calling me that."

"And I told you I thought it was cute," Rick exhaled sharply, humor bleeding into the harsh tone he had taken on before coming up the stairs.

"Fine, great, it's cute," she complained. "You gonna tell me what you heard?"

"Before or after you punched your uncle?"

"Mother fucker!" _Wait. Was that out loud? _"Excuse me while I go throw myself at the walkers and end my misery."

Amanda made her way toward the stairs, but Rick caught her upper arm on the way by. "No need for such drastic measures."

"Oh, this definitely calls for drastic measures. Please, let me pass. The walkers seem really hungry tonight. Don't want to keep them waiting."

"I think we need to talk."

"I think we just did."

"You know what I mean."

"F-fine, then talk." She wasn't going to do much talking. The butterflies that had been in her stomach were now stuck in her throat. Rick was way too close for her brain to form any kind of rational thought. Especially now...after Daryl had so rudely forced her to face her real feelings about the man who's large hand was currently searing a hole in her arm. As much as she tried to pretend they were just friends there was an underlying sexual tension between them. Her body recognized it even if her brain had been in denial.

"Look at me, Amanda."

_No._ "Don't think I can, Rick."

"Why?" _Because I'm afraid you'll see exactly what I feel inside. _He gently tilted her chin up with his other hand, forcing her to face him. Amanda squeezed her eyes shut tightly. _Nope. Not gonna happen_. She couldn't breathe. Too close. "That's really mature." She peeked and closed her eyes again quickly. _He was so damned beautiful. So damn close._ This might be a romantic moment in any other time or place, she thought. Just like those silly chick-flicks about forbidden love. Lovers secretly come together in the moonlight. Eyes meet, lips touch, they sway together all the while being the serenaded by...by the moaning and groaning of stinking dead people walking. _Shit. _Would they ever go away?

Rick pressed his forehead against hers. His lovely lips mere inches away. He whispered "So, you think I might need some of your, uh, _shit_?"

She laughed in spite of herself, "Well, when you put it that way..."

His hand slipped down her arm and into hers. "Do you have a crush on me, Amanda?"

"I think I'm a little too old for a crush, Rick."

"Good. Because I don't think it's a smart idea."

"Why?"

"I don't even know where to start."

"Try."

"Carl, for instance, and Judith. Trying to keep us all, our people, safe..."

"Shut up." She rose on her tiptoes covering his mouth with hers, effectively smothering any more excuses he might come up with.

He shivered slightly as she pressed light kisses onto his firmly closed mouth. His mind screamed _No! Bad idea! _But his heart and body cried out for more. He put up a brave front for the others but he was still hurting inside. The palpable sadness he tried to hide was beginning to show and it broke her heart.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, Rick. Not with me," she whispered, trailing kisses along his jaw line. "Let me take care of you. Just for tonight." She traced his lips with her tongue trying ever so tenderly to tease them apart. His hands went to her hips with the every intention of pushing her away but pulling her closer instead.

"Amanda..." he sighed. Her arms wrapped around his neck, soft warm body flush against his. With a shudder of "defeat" he parted his lips, allowing himself to partake of the sweet comfort she offered. It had been so long since he felt a woman's soothing touch. A woman who saw him as nothing more than what he really was...just a flesh and blood man. God, it felt good. He buried his face in her neck inhaling her scent and released her hair from its restraints. Amanda arched her head back, a soft sigh forming in the back of her throat as Rick's fingers brushed through the ends of her hair. He pushed at the half-formed curls, tucking some of them back behind her ear as he dotted kisses up the side of her neck, to her ear. A deeper moan sounded as his lips lingered over the soft skin in the hollow just behind her earlobe.

Amanda pressed her cheek against Rick's allowing the stubble there to rub against her skin. Her hands moved to his chest, her fingers splayed against him. She dipped her chin and her mouth searched for his, finding it in a flash of lips tongue and teeth. She felt his reluctance for a brief moment before fisting the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to her. His leg pushed its way between hers and she rubbed against the soft material of his worn jeans as he pressed her into the wall of the tower.

"Oh, God, Rick," she moaned into his neck as he grabbed her ass and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his lean waist and her arms around his head. He buried his face in her chest and slipped his hands under her stretchy knit tank top.

She searched out his lips hungrily and he returned her kiss with equal fervor. Her hands slipped between their bodies unbuttoned his shirt, her mouth never leaving his. He reached around her back to deftly unhook her bra and he pulled it up enough to fill his hands with the soft warm mounds. "So beautiful," he whispered against her lips. Her eager hands traveled across soft curls of chest hair to trace the outline of the hard little pebbles nestled there, teasing, tugging, rolling them between her fingertips making Rick groan in her ear.

Amanda leaned back against the wall with her legs still around his waist. She wanted to see his face when she touched him. His eyes were dark with passion, breathing ragged. She smiled and cupped his scruffy cheek. He leaned into her palm and kissed it. Then he kissed her wrist, eyes on hers while ghosting kisses up her arm until he reached the sensitive hollow at the base of her neck. He ran his tongue along a path ending at the delicate skin behind her ear. "What are you doing to me?" he asked with a voice thick with passion.

"Whatever you want."

"Fuck," he swore and devoured her mouth. She couldn't remember Rick ever using that word before. It turned her on even more. She slipped her hands between their bodies and stroked the hardened length bulging through his jeans. _Too much fabric._ Loosening his belt, she slipped her hand past the waistband of his boxers to his hot bare skin. "Fuck, Amanda," he growled and nipped her earlobe sharply. She delved lower and stroked the shaft down to his balls gently squeezing before stroking him again.

"You like that, baby?" He shuddered and tangled his fingers in her hair roughly pulling her lips to his in a scorching kiss that threatened to melt her clothes off. "I'll take that as a yes," she murmured against his mouth and nibbled at his lower lip. Watching him, feeling him lose control set her every nerve tingling. She rocked against him wanting to rip her own clothes off but not want to break contact with his skin.

He grasped at her ass, her breasts, her hair, leaving a trail of flames licking every inch of skin he could reach. But, his shaky hands paused when he reached the top of her cargo shorts, the tips of strong fingers resting just beneath the band burning her flesh. _Oh God, yes, please,_ she silently pleaded. "It's okay," she whispered and reached down to pop the button open. His fingers didn't move as the fabric fell to the side. "Rick, baby, it's okay."

He shook his head and buried his face in her neck. "No. No it's not." He gently loosed her legs until she stood unsteadily before him.

"Why?" The hurt in her voice pierced his heart.

He cupped her face in his hands. "Mandy, hon, oh God, it's not that I don't want you...'cause I do." He struggled to find the right words. "Lord, knows I do but we have to be careful. I can't take a chance of getting you pregnant. Not after Lori...God I can't go through that again. We've lost so many...I just can't take the chance."

"You do know that there are other things we can do, don't you?" _Don't beg. Dixons don't beg._

Rick smiled sadly as he buttoned her shorts, hands still trembling, then he carefully zipped his jeans and fastened his belt.

_Damn it_, she wouldn't cry_. Cryin' ain't never fixed nothin'. _ He reached under her top, pulled her bra into place and fastened it. _Not crying_, she told herself.

"Mandy, sweetheart," _Don't look at him. Damn him. _She bit her lip and tried to leave but he pulled her into a tight hug. She didn't struggle. She didn't want to but she hugged him back resting her head on his chest gasping for breath. _Cryin' ain't never fixed nothin'. _ To be so close..._not gonna cry_. He stroked her back and hair and kissed the top of her head. "Please, baby, don't cry." _I'm not. Not crying. Dixons don't cry._


	6. Chapter 6

Since coming to the prison, Amanda had slept on a mattress at the top of the stairs near Daryl. She was terrified of waking up alone again. She hated to let him out of her sights for long since she had found him. This morning she awoke to a boot nudging her in the ribs. "Wake up, Possum. Let's go huntin'."

_Really? _Daryl preferred hunting alone. Occasionally, he took Carl so he could teach the boy how but mainly he went by himself. When Amanda was twelve, her momma sent her to Georgia by way of airplane that summer. Daryl picked her up because Merle was in jail. She spent two month traipsing through the forest learning how to track and be very, very quiet so as not to scare the game away. She was still mad at him for the ugly words he said the other night but she knew this was his way of saying sorry so she dressed quickly because she also knew her uncle wouldn't ask twice. With that simple invitation, all would be forgiven between them without words being spoken. He knew she was in pain and she was thankful he didn't say I told you so.

It felt wonderful to be out of that damned prison and away from Rick. She had managed to avoid him for one whole day and even that wasn't easy due to the confined space the group shared. She actually missed their daily walk around the perimeter yesterday but there was no way in hell she could face him yet. She didn't know if she ever would.

The sun had not risen but she was able to see well enough in the waning moonlight to follow Daryl silently through the awakening woods that surrounded the prison. Dew clung to the grass and leaves, dampening her boots. It was peaceful here. Daryl shot a couple squirrels but game was getting scarce and he was going to have to venture farther out next time. They'd caught about all they were going to find for the day by noon. She helped him clean them without complaint and only gagged once.

They sat side-by-side on a fallen log and shared a bottle of water. Amanda was unusually quiet and it worried him a little. So against his better judgment he asked, "You okay, Possum?" He pulled a twig roughly out of her unruly hair.

"Ouch!" she rubbed her tender scalp. "I will be. Maybe."

"Wanna a talk about it?" _Now why would I ask a damn fool thing like that? _

Amanda snorted, "Really? With you? No."

_Whew_. He just dodged a bullet. Daryl said a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was looking out for him from above.

"What I don't understand is..." _Shit_, he sent that thanks too soon. "It's the fucking end of the world. Why does he have to be so... so right?"

"That's jus' how he is."

"Well it hurts, Uncle Daryl."

"Don't like seein' ya hurt. Possum, so I ain't gonna say it..." _but I told you so_.

"So don't."

"Want me to kick his ass?"

They both laughed. "Would you really?"

"Nah. He's my friend."

"Well, shit, then why'd you ask?"

He squeezed her shoulders. "There's always Oscar or Herschel. I can put in a good word for ya..."

She swung at him. but as usual he was expecting it and dodged. "I hate you."

He chuckled, "No, ya don't."

"I miss Daddy. I need one of _his _pep talks." They both laughed again.

"Yeah, I bet Merle would have some real good advice, Possum."

"He'd kick Rick's ass for me."

"No doubt."

"Then he'd wanna know why I'd took up with a cop."

_Especially this particular one_, Daryl thought grimly.

"So how do I face Rick?"

"I don't know, girl. Just do it."

"That's stupid advice."

"You asked and you get what you pay for."

"C'mon, Daryl. You're not helping."

"How the hell should I know? Just act like nothin' happen."

"But something did happen..." She shoved her curls back.

"Don't wanna know."

"I kissed him."

"I said I don't wanna know!"

"And he kissed me back."

"Damn it, Amanda! Ain't you listenin' to me?"

"And I wanted more and then he said we can't because we had to be careful. He didn't want to get me pregnant...because of what happened to Lori." Her voice quivered and tears threatened to fall.

"Fuck! Amanda, I really didn't wanna hear that." He covered his face with his hands.

"You asked if I wanted to talk."

"And _you _said NO!"

"Well, Daryl, I don't have anyone else to talk to." Her voice was small and damned if he didn't feel bad for yelling at her.

"What about Carol or Maggie?"

"We aren't close like that. Beth is too young and inexperienced with men. You know me better than anyone here. You're a guy so you can give me a male perspective."

"Shit Amanda, I ain't good at givin' advice."

"Let's say you're Rick and ..."

"Let's not..."

"What do you think he wants me to do?"

"I have no fuckin' idea so hush your mouth and let's get back before he sends a search party."

* * *

Her plans to avoid Rick were foiled when he and Carl were waiting for them back at the prison.

"Hey, Daryl! Amanda!" Carl called out as he ran up to check out the "catch of the day." Six scrawny squirrels. Still, it was better than nothing.

"Amanda, ready to walk the fence? I waited for you to get back." Rick looked at her expectantly. He even had the audacity to smile. _Damn him! _

"Sorry, Rick, I gotta help Daryl clean these squirrels. My daddy always said, 'You catch 'em, you clean 'em'."

"You ain't caught shit, Possum. And we already cleaned 'em." _Damn him, too. _She wanted to wipe that stupid grin off his face.

"Then, I'll just take these lovely little corpses to Beth and Carol."

"We'll do it, Amanda," Carl offered, so gallantly. "I wanted to show Daryl something anyway. C'mon Daryl. Let's go."

"Sure thing, kid." Daryl gave her his best over-the-shoulder Dixon smirk and went of with that little plan-spoiler.

"Ready?" Rick asked.

_Nope_. "Ready as I'll ever be." They walked in silence with Rick stopping occasionally to check the integrity of a the fence in a spot or two.

When they rounded a corner out of sight from the others, he stopped and turned to face her. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "How long you going to avoid me?"

"I wasn't..." Her lie died in her throat as his unwavering steel blue gaze met hers. She looked around, anywhere, settling to focus on her own feet, anywhere but his eyes. "I don't know. Forever?"

"Why, Amanda?"

"Because. I was, I am embarrassed. I was kind slutty and now I don't know how to act around you."

He took both her hands in his and brought them to his lips kissing her fingertips. Electric shocks shot straight to her heart. "Please don't feel like that. Nothing's changed. Not for me."

_Oh, yes, everything has changed. I kissed you and you kissed me back and I wanted more and you said no. And it hurts. _"You mean we can still be friends?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what do you mean because I'm as confused as hell and I don't like feeling this way!" She tried to tug her hands free but he held them tightly.

"Don't pull away, Mandy. I said I wasn't ready the other night but that doesn't mean I won't ever be. We just have to do this right. We can't let our needs make us careless."

"I was never any good at that."

He smiled and kissed her fingertips again. Then he leaned over and pressed an achingly sweet kiss against her lips. "Be patient with me, Mandy. Please."

_How patient? I can't! I'm not strong enough. _Her traitorous head nodded and she whispered. "I'll try."

"Guess I can't ask for more than that, can I?" He dropped one of her hands then pulled her along by the other, weaving his fingers with hers. "Let's finish this up and head back to see if the food's done."

All she could think of was the feel of his big calloused hand in her. Warm and rough and how they felt on her bare skin the other night in the tower. Lord help her, this wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

Rick let go of her hand before they reached the others but not without bringing it to his lips for a quick kiss. Daryl gave them a patented Dixon scowl that went either unnoticed or unacknowledged by Rick. Amanda didn't hesitate to scowl back and then she flipped him off for good measure.

With Judith Grimes the center of attention, the meal was a messy, loud, yet joyful event. Sitting on Rick's lap, she sputtered and spit and ate with her mouth wide open, full of pureed green mush and other unrecognizable so-called edibles. When she giggled, those poor souls nearest to her, mainly Carl and Amanda, were showered with bits and pieces of the stuff. "That's just nasty!" Carl complained.

"Stop making her laugh while she eats," Carol retorted, trying not too laugh herself.

Even Daryl smiled and he didn't try to hide it. "You got quite the appetite, Lil Ass-kicker." He leaned back sharply as a piece of something flew by him. "Aw, baby girl. You don't hafta share. Uncle Daryl made sure there's 'nough to go 'round."

"Hey, Dad, was I this messy when I was a baby?" Carl asked, wiping spittle from his cheek.

Rick laughed and patted his shoulder affectionately. "Son, it was pretty bad."

"Hell, this ain't nothin'. You shoulda seen that one over there," he nodded towards Amanda.

"Shut up, Daryl." She was gonna have to smother him in his sleep if he kept this shit up.

"Me and Merle," he laughed, "used to put Possum out on the back porch to eat wearing nothin' but a diaper . The dogs ate whatever hit the ground. They loved her."

Elbow resting on the table, Amanda poked her spoon in her uncle's direction. "I hate you."

"That's twice you done tol' me that today and I still don't believe you."

"Don't get mad, Amanda. We like Daryl's Possum stories. They make everyone laugh." Rick placed his hand briefly over hers and squeezed it. She felt her face flush at the seeming innocent touch. The gesture didn't go unnoticed at the table. Carol raised her eyebrows ever so slightly. Herschel just smiled. And Daryl...well fuck Daryl!

"I bet you could tell some real good 'Uncle Daryl' stories," Beth chimed in. Daryl's eyebrows raised as his hard blue eyes went from the young girl across from him to his niece with a clear warning in them.

As much as payback was a bitch, Amanda wouldn't take it that far. "Sorry, Beth. There's none I can tell in front of minors."

"Hey," protested Carl. "I wanna hear..."

Rick shook his head. "I don't think so, Carl."

"I'm thirteen..." he whined, proving just how mature he was.

"Carl," Herschel interrupted. "I tend to agree with your Dad. I don't think _I'm_ old enough to hear any 'Uncle Daryl' stories."

Everyone laughed. "Damn straight." Daryl smirked and rose from the table. "I'm goin' to relieve Glenn and Maggie."

"Wait up, Daryl. I'll go with you. There's something I wanna talk to you about," Rick said and handed Judith off to Carl.

_Well, shit, what the hell is that about? _Amanda wondered with a sense of dread.

* * *

**Thanks to all my readers! Please take the time to review and let me know what you think!**

**Special thinks to Siarh for your infinite patience and wisdom.**

**Happy reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

Rick and Daryl spent the next half hour going over the security and supplies details. They would need to make a run in the next day or two for formula and diapers. Could never have too many diapers. Daryl had finally relented and allowed Amanda to accompany him on his last few runs. She was quick, quiet and efficient. He and Merle taught her how to be silent and fast in the woods but he figured she'd forgotten all that learning growing up in the city with that snobbish mom of hers. Why that bitch ever hooked up with Merle, he'd never know...oh yeah, she was slummin' and drunk as a skunk. Merle never turned down a willing or a drunk woman, especially a pretty one like that bitch. Oh fuck, he didn't want to think about that messed up shit.

Rick decided to send Glenn and Maggie with the truck to clean out another daycare center he'd seen on their last run. If Amanda went with them, they'd have it done in no time. Daryl agreed. He was impressed with his niece's ability but he wasn't gonna tell her. Didn't want her getting careless.

"About Amanda..." Rick started hesitantly.

_Oh, shit. Here we go._ Daryl was ending _this _talk before it got started._ "_If you're gonna ask for Possum's hand in marriage, save ya breath. I ain't her daddy."

Rick's eyes widened, "Ummm, no. That's not what I was gonna ask. I just wanted to know if you're going to be okay with it...me and Amanda. I don't know where its going..."

"Well it's done gone to your tongue being down her throat..." Daryl interrupted with a growl.

"She told you about that?"

_Not in so many words, but yeah_. "Seems to think she can talk to me like one of her goddamned girlfriends or somethin'...won't shut the hell up." He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Givin' me a damn headache."

"Daryl," Rick continued, "I think I need to tell Amanda about Merle."

"Fuck!" Daryl pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't know, Rick. You wanna tell Possum that for yourself or her?"

The two men stood side-by-side in the guard tower, watching the few walkers ambling along the road that led to the prison gate. Rick thought about his friend's words for a moment. He didn't know how anyone could think of Daryl as slow. He went straight to the heart of the matter every time. If Rick was honest with himself, he had to tell Amanda for his own sake. Did he feel guilty for leaving Merle on the rooftop? Sure, he did, but he wasn't losing sleep over it. He did what he had to do at the time. But...but, whenever he looked into her soft, trusting blue eyes...the image of her father's severed hand taunted him. Daryl said she had Merle's eyes but he couldn't see it. Hers were gentle, smiling, whereas Merle's were hard and cold. Even in the man's drug-induced state, Rick felt the defiance, saw the hatred and contempt and knew if he was still alive, Merle wouldn't hesitate to kill him on sight.

"You think your brother's still alive?"

"Like I tol' Possum, I ain't seen nothin' to make me think otherwise. He's one tough sumbitch." Daryl exhaled sharply and rubbed his eyes again. "Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Gonna have to add aspirin to that supply list. Or Jack Daniels."

"Sure thing." He laid a hand on Daryl's shoulder. "Sorry, man."

"You oughtta be. Make it right so she'll leave me the fuck alone." Daryl turned away from his friend indicating their conversation was over.

* * *

Amanda waited impatiently for Rick's return so she could talk to him alone. She was dying to know what he wanted to talk to her uncle about. That couldn't be good, could it?

"Watcha doing?"

"Shit, Beth! You scared the holy hell out of me!"

Beth giggled. "I called your name twice, Amanda. Guess you didn't hear me. Must've been thinking about Rick."

"That obvious?"

"Yes. I can't believe you have to ask. Everyone knows ya'll like each other no matter how discreet you try to be. Of course, when he held your hand at dinner..."

"He didn't hold it...he just...just patted it." _Yeah, that was it. _ He didn't squeeze her hand with his big warm one sending fire through her veins to pool in her belly like molten lava. He didn't do that.

"Whatever." Beth chuckled. "But, you should have seen your face when Rick asked Daryl to wait up. Oh my gosh, Amanda. I thought you were going to keel over!" The blonde girl laughed again. "I don't know why you're worried. They talk all the time. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you."

"I guess you're right. I'm just being paranoid."

"You'll probably want to do something with your hair before you see him, though."

Amanda's hands flew to her head. Beth laughed again. "C'mon, I'll help you."

Back in Beth's cell, the teenage girl chattered as she tamed Amanda's dark curls with a pretty headband. She fingered combed them into place and pulled out a few to soften her face. Amanda admired herself in a small hand mirror. "You are a magician, Beth!"

Beth smiled. "Thanks. I miss doing girl stuff. Maggie's busy with Glenn and all I do is help out Carol and take care of Judith. Not that I mind, but sometimes, I just...miss my old life."

Amanda hugged her. "Me too. I'll be happy to do girl stuff with you. Wanna talk about fashion? I hear combat boots are the latest rage."

"I prefer hiking boots," she countered and pointed her leather-clad toe. They both laughed and she gave Beth a quick hug.

"Thanks. I really appreciate your help."

"Anytime. Um, er, wait a minute." The young girl dug deep into her back pack, looking for something. "Ahh, here it is. " She turned to Amanda, blushing. "Take it! just in case..." and she hurried out the door, not looking back.

Amanda stared down, open-mouthed, at the condom Beth placed in her hand. _That girl and I need to have to talk._

"Hey, there you are." Amanda quickly shoved the condom in her pocket. Rick smiled down at her. "What are you doing in here?"

"Um, Beth helped me fixed my hair," she said self-consciously.

"Looks nice." he said brushing his fingertips across her cheek. His blue eyes sparkled in the fading light.

"Thanks."

"Judith's asleep and Carl's on watch with Daryl. Wanna help me get some things from the infirmary?"

"Okay."

He put his hand on the small of her back steering her out of the cell block. "You're awful quiet, Mandy. Somethin' wrong?" _Yeah, I got a fucking condom in my pocket! _She shook her head. He stopped by his cell to retrieve a large duffle bag. "Here. Just in case." He handed her a bat and a flashlight. He had single-handedly cleaned out most of the walkers in this area but a stray one showed up now and then.

They walked in silence until they reached the double doors of the infirmary. Rick pulled out the keys, unlocked the doors and motioned for her to enter. Locking them again, he began going through the drawers and cabinets. "Just grab anything you think we can use."

"Rick?" She couldn't stand it anymore.

"Yeah?" He shoved some bottles of alcohol and bandages into his bag.

"What were you and Daryl talking about?"

He stopped, turned and grinned at her. "Prison stuff. Food. Supplies. Security."

"That's all?"

He grinned even wider, knowing exactly what she was getting at. "What else would we talk about?"

"Nothing, I guess." She turned away, paying extra close attention to the drawer she already raided.

Two long strides carried him into her personal space. "You think we were talking about you?" His breath tickled the back of her neck and his lips brushed that sensitive spot behind her ear.

"No."

He pulled her earlobe into his mouth, gently sucking on it delighting in the small gasp that escaped her lips. "Yes, you did, Mandy." She tried to push him away but he didn't budge. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest. Her hands tightened on the edge of the counter.

"What did you say to him?"

"I didn't say anything." He pushed her hair aside and trailed kisses down her neck, smiling when she moaned.

"Liar. What did Daryl say then?"

"He said, 'Fuck off.'"

She chuckled. "...So you did talk."

He laughed against her skin sending heat waves through her body, "You're good, Mandy."

He pressed his hardened length against her back and slipped his hands under her t-shirt. "Do you really want to talk about your uncle right now?" he asked as his hands slipped into the cups of her bra.

She turned her head to capture his lower lip between her teeth. He growled and slid a large calloused hand leisurely down her smooth stomach, fingertips circling her navel then moving lower, hesitating only a moment before slipping past the waistband of her shorts to palm her through the thin cotton of her underwear. She was wet, so wet. "Oh God, Mandy," Rick groaned against her neck, nipping at the small vein pulsing there. Her breaths quickened. She jerked her shirt over her head and he freed her bra with his other hand then quickly pulled his own shirt off wanting to feel her bare skin against his.

She leaned back into his chest basking in the feel of his lips, teeth and tongue against her skin as he nibbled, licked, and kissed her shoulders while his hands explored the rest of her warm willing body. She was so damned wet and he was so damned hard.

Rick pushed her panties aside and let his fingers play in the soft curls between her legs before dipping into the hot, moist folds. She shuddered and threw her head back against his shoulder. He thrust his tongue in her mouth keeping rhythm with the hand that stroked her. Slowly at first but quickly picking up the pace as, she rocked against the finger inside her. Reaching back she grabbed his ass, pulling him closer. He squeezed and rolled a tight nipple between his fingertips. She pulled at his head deepening the kiss. He slipped a second finger inside and smiled against her lips with satisfaction as he felt her tighten around him. Her breath was coming in gasps and his body shook with the effort of holding his own release back. "C'mon baby," he whispered, rubbing her clit with his thumb, pushing her harder against the counter to keep them both from falling. When her legs buckled he quickly covered her mouth with his to stifle her cries as she finally exploded around his hand. He gently lowered them both to the floor, resting against the cold steel cabinets.

With shaky fingers and a satisfied smile, she unbuttoned his jeans releasing his straining cock. "I don't think we're through yet, officer." She straddled his lap and buried her face in his neck while stroking him. "If I remember," she reached down to cup his balls, "you really liked this."

"Oh God, yes!" he muttered through clenched teeth. Damn, he wasn't going to last much longer..._Shit! _His body jerked as she gently scraped her short nails up his cock.

He grabbed her still quivering thighs and tugged at her shorts. "Take 'em off, Mandy. I want to see you." She smiled, a smile of pure female satisfaction and stood up, feet on either side of his legs, slowly unfastening the button, lowering the zipper. "Fuck," he cursed, grabbing the hem and jerking them down.

She squealed and giggled stepping out of them. "Hey! Slow down a minute, baby..."

They turned simultaneously to stare at the small foil packet that had tumbled out of her pocket. He looked up at her, "You weren't gonna tell me about this?"

"I was distracted."

"Do I wanna know where you got it?"

"Definitely not!" She sat back down on his lap. "Well?"

Rick tore the package open with his teeth and handed her the prize.

He groaned as she rolled it down his hardened shaft, gritting his teeth, thinking he might not make it past this point.

Amanda leaned over to kiss him while raising her hips for him guide them over his impatient cock. He thrust swiftly into the slick opening, stretching, filling her completely. He held her as she adjusted to his girth, then, she began to move, slowly at first, savoring every sensation. Skin against skin. His rapid beating heart in sync with hers. His beautiful eyes, dark with passion, watching her. The small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. She touched his lips with a fingertip. He sucked it into his mouth and with one hand in her hair and another holding her hip he rocked against her hard, desperate for his own relief. Her pulse quickened and her walls tightened around him as she began spiraling out of control again. She cried out and Rick's grip in her hair became almost painful as he rode out his own climax. "Fuck, Mandy!" he cried out, gasping for breath. He wasn't ready. Not this soon. Amanda collapsed against his heaving chest trying to catch her own breath. He weakly stroked her hair and back and rested his hand on her bare ass. She kissed his nipple, her tongue darting out to taste the damp, salty skin. He grunted in her hair. "You trying to kill me?" She smiled, resting her cheek against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.


	8. Chapter 8

"Wanna tell me why you had a condom, Beth?" Amanda had been waiting to get the girl alone to have this discussion but privacy at the prison was a luxury hard to come by. If she had to weed the garden with her to do it, then so be it.

"I found it." Beth answered, as she made quick work of the weeds in her row.

Why did Amanda not believe that? "Really, where?"

Beth didn't even hesitate. "Maggie's stuff."

"You little thief!" She chuckled at Beth's grin.

The other girl tossed another weed in her bucket. "Still got it?"

"Not your business." Amanda couldn't contain the flush that filled her cheeks.

Beth's eyes widened into big blue saucers. "Oh. My. Gosh! You don't! Need another one?"

"No! Maybe, not now, damn it, Beth. Don't change the subject!" _Shit! _Amanda quickly tried to replant the seedling she pulled by mistake. That made two so far.

"Just asking. I know where to find some." She giggled.

"So why did you steal a condom from Maggie and Glenn?"

Beth just shrugged. "I didn't steal it. I just borrowed it."

"Were you planning on giving it back?" Amanda sat back on her heels, retying the red bandana around her hair.

"No..."

"Then you stole it."

"Fine. I wanted to be prepared, just in case." Beth met her gaze without an ounce of chagrin.

"Just in case of what?" Amanda asked before she even thought about what Beth could mean. "Never mind, don't answer that."

"Jimmy and I...we never went that far and I don't want to die a virgin, Amanda."

Amanda cleared her throat. "Who the heck did you have in mind? It's slim pickings around here, sweetheart." _She could count the "available" men/boy on one hand. Daryl? Ewww. Of course not. Oscar? Doubtful, never saw them talking. Carl? He was a little young, but hey, if that's who she wanted...S_he wasn't sure Rick would be happy about it, though_. "_Beth, darlin'?"

For the first time in this conversation, the younger girl actually looked uncomfortable. "I know, I know he's a bit older. But did you ever notice the muscles in his arms, and those eyes. And the way he plays with Judith. Just thinking about him makes me..." _Wait! What? Older...DARYL! A **bit **older, my ass! Shit! He had to be twice her age! _

"Wait a minute, Beth. You're not talking about Daryl, are you? _My _grumpy, _old_, emotionally-stunted, Uncle Daryl?"

Beth gave Amanda half-smile. "Maybe he wouldn't be so grumpy if I..."

"Stop!" _Stop right there! Breathe, Amanda. Keep calm. Think a minute. Note to self-Make Uncle Daryl wear sleeves! "_What about C..."

"So help me, if you say Carl, I'll hit you, Amanda! He's just a kid. I want to be with a real man my first time. You know, someone who knows what he's doing."

_Daryl? Oh fuck me. _Amanda wasn't sure her uncle fit that bill. She didn't remember seeing Daryl with a woman. Ever. Maybe he just never brought one around her_. Oh God. That's gross. _She shuddered at the thought of her uncle's sex life.

* * *

"Good morning, ladies." Amanda shaded her eyes and looked to see Rick and Carl heading their way.

"We brought water," Carl said smiling, handing a bottle to Beth first. Poor kid, he had it bad for the pretty blonde. Beth looked up at him with her sweet innocent smile as she took it. That wasn't helping at all.

"You about done here, Mandy?" Rick asked.

"Not quite but I'm on my last row."

Beth grinned. "Go on, Amanda, I got it. Besides I think you're doing more harm than good."

"Thanks a lot."

"Anytime, and _Mandy_, those things you wanted, er needed..."

"Shut up, Beth," she hissed.

The young girl burst into a fit of laughter.

Rick reached a hand down to help Amanda to her feet. "Carl, we're walking the fence, you coming?"

"Nah, Dad. I think I'll stay here and help Beth finish up, if that's okay with you."

"Sure, son."

Amanda made a kissy face at Beth over Carl's head. Beth threw a clod of dirt, Amanda ducked and it hit Rick square in the back.

"Hey!" Rick turned. "What was that?"

Carl looked confused. Beth's face was beet-red. "Sorry, Rick. It just...slipped right out of my hand."

Amanda snorted with the laughter she was trying to hold back. Rick grabbed her arm. "C'mon." As soon as they were out of ear shot and eye sight, he pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her. Then he leaned back and pinned her in place with a glare but she could see he was trying to hold back his own smile. "I'm supposed to believe she slipped?" Amanda nodded, biting her lip. "She wasn't aiming at me, was she?" Amanda shook her head.

Rick's mouth found the side of her neck. "You gonna tell me what that was about?"

"Confidential girl talk," she mumbled semi-coherently.

He thought about that for a moment. "Fair enough."

She leaned into him, running her hands down his back, loving the way his lean muscles played under her fingertips. Amanda grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled him against her, biting his lower lip gently. "I missed you."

"Mmmmm," he moaned and met her lips with a deep kiss. She licked the roof of his mouth sending shivers down his body, pleased with the way he responded to her touch. He cupped her face with his strong hands, tilting her head back tangling his tongue with hers, sucking it even further into his mouth.

Backing off to allow them both a moment to breathe, Rick kissed Amanda's cheek, sliding his lips to her ear, his tongue glided around the outer shell. Her fingers clenched at his sides, clawing at his shirt as the heat in her stomach drifted lower. She bit her bottom lip, leaning into his mouth, his breath hot against her skin, driving her absolutely mad. "Rick," she whimpered, her fingers hooking in his belt loops, tugging him closer. Leaning her shoulders back against the rough brick wall of the prison, she pressed her hips to him, making the his breath in her ear turn into a moan.

With an arm on either side of her head and teeth nibbling on her sensitive flesh, he muttered, "I missed you, too." Then she groaned when he licked the salty sweet skin against the base of her neck. Rick pulled back from Amanda and watched as her eyes slowly opened.

"What?"

"You got the condom from Beth, didn't you?" Amanda tried to kiss him again instead of answering the question, but Rick didn't let her. "Mandy?"

She stuck her bottom lip out. "So..."

"What the hell was she doing with it?" His eyes widened further. "Is she and Carl-"

Amanda could only grin at the look on his face before shaking her head. "No, _Daddy_. Seems she has a crush on an older man." Her lips moved to his.

"Who?" Rick asked, not really caring at the moment as he pulled her closer, his hands on her ass. She paused, the feeling of those strong hands distracting her. "Me?"

"You what?" she asked, her voice light and breathy.

"Who does Beth have a crush on?"

"Can we not talk about that right now?" She slipped a hand between them rubbing his straining cock through his pants while thrusting her tongue into his mouth. Rick's hands slid under her top to caress her breasts.

"Oh, fuckin' hell," Daryl said in disgust as he came to a screeching halt just before crashing into the intertwined couple when he rounded the corner of the building. _Am I the only one here not getting any? _

"Damn it, Daryl!" Amanda jerked her shirt back in place. "You oughtta wear a cowbell or something so people can hear you coming."

Her uncle dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "Get lost, Amanda, I need to talk to lover boy here."

"Get some manners, Daryl." She gave Rick a loud, wet, sloppy kiss, mainly to annoy her uncle, and stomped off knocking into Daryl with her shoulder on the way by.

"Brat."

"Bully."

"Whaddya want?" Rick asked, voice strained with the effort of trying to shift gears after what just happened with Amanda.

"Well, shit, man. Seeing ya'll..." he shuddered, _ "_made me fuckin' forget." He closed his eyes as if trying to erase the image burned into his brain. "I guess _that _means you didn't say anything 'bout Merle." _Otherwise, my niece's hands wouldn't been...ugh...ain't gonna finish that thought. _

Rick shook his head. "I decided to wait until after the supply run tomorrow. I don't want her thinking about anything else while she's out. I think it's best that way."

"Hmph." His friend just grunted, clearly aggravated.

"You gotta a problem, Daryl?" Rick's tone suddenly shifted from strained to annoyed.

The younger Dixon brother's eyes met the ex-cop's. "No. I ain't gotta a problem, Rick," he snapped.

"You said make it right with Amanda," he reminded him.

"I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant," Daryl snarled as he stormed off, "and I'd appreciate it if you don't knock-up my only niece," he called over his shoulder.

Rick watched the man stalk off. He was going to need that bottle of Jack that he promised Daryl.

* * *

Meal time was a bit tense. Daryl and Rick weren't talking. Amanda and Daryl weren't talking. Beth was unabashedly flirting with the object of her affection who was totally oblivious to her feminine machinations. Herschel was scowling at Beth who pointedly ignored him. Carl was starting to think Beth was mad and ignoring him and he couldn't think of anything he'd done to upset her. Judith was munching happily on a cracker while sitting on Carol's lap who was watching the whole scene with great amusement.

Amanda pressed her leg against Rick's under the table and squeezed his knee and then proceeded to slide her hand up his thigh. She smiled when he choked a bit on his food. He shot her a warning look laced a delicious promise of retribution so she moved her hand a little higher brushing against the bulge growing there. He shoved it away roughly, hitting the underside table with a bang, bringing all eyes his direction, especially Daryl's disgusted glare. She would have sworn Rick blushed. He refused to look her way but hooked a foot around hers pulling her leg close to his.

"Got any more Possum stories, Daryl?" Carl's voice sliced through the tension like fingernails on a chalkboard.

"None that aint gonna make you upchuck your meal," he grumbled while pushing the uneaten food around on his plate. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't eat with those two at the end of the table.

Beth came behind Daryl with a jug of water, "Need some more water, Daryl?" she asked as she leaned over his shoulder to reveal the tops of her small but pert bosom. Carl's eyes jerked immediately to her chest, mouth falling open. Her long blonde hair was loose and danced across the Daryl's cheek and exposed shoulder where he swatted it like a fly, barely missing Beth's chin. "Sorry, darlin'," he mumbled and held out his cup for a refill.

She smiled demurely and filled it, brushing her chest against his back as she straightened up. Herschel's face was turning motley shades of red at his youngest daughter's not so discreet behavior.

"Carl," cut in Rick. "Close your mouth when you eat!" The ex-cop's eyes followed his son's gaze to Beth and to then to Daryl. _Holy shit!_ It hit him. Daryl was the girl's crush! Amanda saw the range of emotions cross Rick's face in record time and burst into laughter. He looked sharply at her then relaxed and smiled, shaking his head. He whispered, "Poor Herschel."

Amanda met his eyes and shook her head, "Poor Daryl."

* * *

After dinner, Amanda made her way to the guard tower. Daryl had "summoned" her. It felt like a walk to the principal's office. She really wasn't in the mood for one of his "you're an idiot" lectures when she'd rather spend this evening with Rick but she knew if she ditched her uncle he would come find her in a pissier mood than he was already in, if that was possible.

"'Bout time you got here," he bitched, before she even reached the top step.

She crossed her arms over her chest, hip thrown to the side. "Didn't know I had an appointment."

"Damn it, Amanda. Do you always have to be so difficult?"

_Yeah, it runs in the fucking family_. "Do you?" She said with hands now on her hips, defiance flashing in her eyes.

"Fuck!" he pinched the bridge of his nose. His headaches were getting worse. "Possum," he said, toning down his frustration the best he could. One of them had to be mature and since he was oldest, he'd at least try. _Breathe in..._"Possum, girl," he started again. "I know ain't your Daddy but I... I..." _Fuck! Where hell do I start?_

"Are you trying to give me the safe-sex talk?"

_Fuck! _Daryl felt like his brain was going to explode.

"Because if you are, don't worry Uncle Daryl, I'm 26 and I know..."

"Shut up!" he interrupted. "I sure as hell don't wanna know what you know."

"Okay...then what?"

Daryl couldn't look at her as the next words came out of his mouth. "Are you using...protection..."

_Oh, so it is the safe-sex talk. How cute. _She smiled at how uncomfortable he was with this. "What do you mean, Uncle Daryl? You know I always carry the knife Daddy gave me."

"Shit, Possum! That ain't the kind of protec..." he sputtered.

She couldn't hold her laughter back.

"Bitch," he spat.

She hugged him. "I love you, too, and yes, we're using _that kind _of protection too...Condoms to be exact."

"Shut the fuck up and get the hell out of here." He shoved at her shoulder.

Amanda quickly kissed his cheek and hurried down the stairs to seek out Rick.


	9. Chapter 9

Having been dismissed by her uncle, Amanda headed out of the tower, a small smile on her face as she went to look for Rick. The smile fell when she saw Beth walking toward her, blanket and bottle of water in her hands, humming a happy tune. Catching the girl's arm as she tried to just pass by, Amanda turned to face her. "Where are you going, Beth?" _Like I don't know. _

Beth just shrugged, her smile still in place. "I thought Daryl might like some company." She moved to pull away from Amanda's grip.

"I really doubt it," the older woman cautioned. "He does better on his own." _Not to mention he is not in the best mood right now. _

Beth's face fell, and her eyes narrowed a little. "I'm just going to sit with him."

The girl was determined. Time for a change of tactics. "Does your dad know where you are?"

Beth actually pouted. "Please, Amanda..." And there was a whine in her voice. Amanda invented that move, she sure as hell wasn't going to fall for it.

"Does he know?" the ever-stubborn Dixon woman tried again.

Shaking her head, Beth pulled her arm free of Amanda's hand. "No, but why don't you tell him for me, since you are headed that way."

_And give him a heart attack while I'm at it._ "No way, girl."

Beth put her hands on her hips. "Please! Like I'm gonna seduce him while he's on watch," Beth retorted petulantly. "I just want to be with him. Near him," she clarified. "I think I need to be less subtle, show him…" her voice trailed as Beth twisted a blonde lock around her finger, watching the end flip over and over again, so she didn't have to look at Amanda.

"No, Beth, honey, it's not that." _Where the hell was Maggie and why wasn't she handling this? Probably off using up one of the precious condoms that Beth couldn't find earlier. _

The other girl's eyes widened and her face fell. "He doesn't like me?" Beth sniffled.

"No, no, that's not what I meant." Amanda was an only child and had no clue how to deal with a little sister's angst. Oh my God, Beth was pouting again.

"Why else would he not get my hints?"

Amanda shook her head, how did she explain how ass-backwards her dear, sweet, overprotective-as-fuck uncle was? "That's just it... Because he just doesn't get it."

She didn't think it was possible but Beth's eyes actually got wider, only with an intensity that was almost scary. "I was too subtle. I knew it. He seems a bit shy and I didn't want to scare him away." Damn, she was determined; Amanda had to give her that. "I guess I'll have to have to tell him that I want him to have my virginity." Beth started for the tower again.

_Oh Jesus, that would go over well._ "Wait, Beth." The girl turned back toward Amanda. "Don't be in such a rush."

"Why not, Amanda? We could die any day."

_She's got me there._ "Beth, promise me something, please. Don't do anything till I get back from this run. We'll talk and work this out."

"I don't know if I can make that promise," she gazed longingly at the tower.

Amanda tugged at a curl. "Oh for heaven's sake! I'm only going to be gone tomorrow, Beth."

"Fine," she pouted. "But, if I die before then, I'm going to haunt you every time you're with Rick so you can't get any either!"

Beth turned sharply and headed back to their cell block. Amanda followed a few feet behind.

* * *

Rick was kissing the sleeping Judith goodnight when Amanda and Beth entered the cell block. He glanced up at her with a grin that melted her heart. He spoke to Carl a moment then nodded toward the door. She smiled to let him know she understood. Rick grabbed a bat and walked out without saying a thing. Carl got up to lock the door behind him.

"Wait a minute Carl..."

"What's up, Possum?" She controlled the urge to smack him upside the head and instead just smiled.

"I need to go back out."

"What for?" _Nosy little monster._

"I left something in the guard tower." She was such a bad liar but it didn't stop her from trying.

"Can't it wait? You shouldn't be out there alone, Amanda. It's getting dark."

"I have a bat." She twirled it cleverly. _Should have been a majorette_.

He gave a an unreadable look. Good or bad...she wasn't sure but the man-child finally relented and let her out. _Aw hell_, she was going to have to put in a good word for him with Beth. "Thanks, buddy."

As soon as Carl locked up behind her, Amanda headed for the infirmary. The darkness was oppressive. Tangible, not so much an absence of light but an entity in itself. Her flashlight scarcely covered a few feet before her. _Shit, which way? _Maybe she would have remembered if she hadn't been watching Rick's ass last time. _Calm down, Dixon. _She closed her eyes to listen. Nothing. That was a good sign but why didn't Rick just wait. "Rick," she called softly, not wanting to alert anything else of her presence. Maybe he was there already, waiting for her. She smiled at the thought.

After about fifteen minutes, Amanda realized she was utterly and hopelessly lost. Every corridor looked the same. _Don't panic. Dixons don't panic. _She wanted to call out to Rick but she was afraid of drawing the attention of any stray walkers. _Shit_. _Shit. Shit._ Retracing her steps wasn't an option. She was so turned around in the pitch black of this dungeon-like prison..._Wait_. _Glenn had spray-painted arrows on the walls. Where were they?_ She shone her flashlight along the walls but couldn't find any markings, only black goo and blood smears. She shuddered. Then, she heard...what? Water dripping? Gurgling? Feet shuffling, groaning..._Please, God, n_o, she silently prayed. With her back against the wall, she gripped the bat tightly with one hand.

_Stay calm, Ladybug, _Her daddy's voice warned her.

The smell of decayed flesh wafted too close to her nose. She tried not to gag. _Ya big baby! _Uncle Daryl's voice mocked her. That thing had to be close but she couldn't see it. _Fuck! Was there more than one?_ The shuffling came nearer.

_Please, God, give me strength_. Silent tears welled in her eyes blurring her sight. She blinked fast to clear them.

_Quit that crying shit! Be the badass you were born to be, Baby Girl._

_Okay, Daddy_...Shakily, Amanda scanned the half circle around her with the flashlight. One to the left about ten feet away and another to the right, six feet away. She would to have to be fast. Swallowing hard, she shoved the flashlight in her pocket and gripped the bat fiercely with both hands. "Hail Mary full of Grace..." and she swung, connecting with soft rotting flesh. She turned quickly, swung again hitting the wall this time. The reverberation of metal against concrete knocked the bat violently out of her hands. She screamed in pain and fear as she fell to the hard sticky floor. _Fuck! _She lost both bat and flashlight. _Fuck! _She scrambled backwards until she was up against the wall again, both arms stinging painfully from wrists to shoulders.

"Amanda!" Rick's voice...too far away...

Scuffling near her feet...too close. She kicked out as hard as she could.

"Amanda!" Not close enough...

She lashed out frantically with her legs again, this time tangling with the walker's legs, sending it sprawling on the floor in front of her. She yanked out her knife and started stabbing.

"Amanda!" Almost here...

She felt the dead flesh tear beneath her blade, not the head, too soft. She stabbed again and again not even stopping as the walker's body was illuminated by an arc of light. She saw the head, teeth still snapping, and she kept stabbing, plunging the knife through its rotted skull. She pulled it out, drawing back to stab the filthy mother fucker again.

"Mandy!" A strong hand grabbed her wrist and gently pried her knife from trembling fingers. "Baby, I'm so sorry," Rick lips pressed against her ear, "but we need to get to a safe place. C'mon, Mandy, baby. Get up." He half carried, half dragged her around the corner and through the infirmary doors.

Rick sat Amanda gently on the examination table and immediately started checking for injuries. "I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to get so far ahead of you."

"I got lost," she cried softly. "I couldn't find you."

"Shhh...honey. You're safe now. It was my fault. I'm so sorry..." His hands were swift and thorough and when he found no bites or scratches, he was able to breathe again. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. Rick realized he was shaking. One moment of carelessness and he almost lost her. He choked back a sob. _Get a grip, man. _He couldn't break down now. He had to be strong for Amanda. "Don't move, Mandy." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

Rummaging loudly through the cabinets, he finally found what he was looking for. A couple of bags of saline for IVs and some towels. He cut a small hole in one of the bags and soaked a towel with the solution. Starting with her face, he gently wiped away the specks of walker goo that clung to her flesh. Her breathing slowed but she still trembled.

She watched as Rick carefully cleaned her arms and paying meticulous attention to her hands. His own were shaking. She took them in hers when he was finished and pulled him in for a kiss. "I was so scared," his voice trembled against her lips.

"Sorry, Rick...I got disoriented in the dark."

He place a finger against her lips. "Hush baby, it wasn't your fault. When you didn't come right out, I went ahead to make sure the way was clear."

"I just went the wrong way," she said resting her forehead against his.

Rick shook his head, stroking her dirty, tangled hair. "I should've waited." Amanda wrapped her arms around him. He moved in closer to stand between her legs, hands resting lightly on her hips. "We can't do this anymore, honey." He kissed her again. "This sneaking around. If something happened to you," _like it almost just did. _He shuddered at the thought. After such a close call...he would make sure it wouldn't happen. Rick's voice broke. He tilted her chin up. "Mandy, I'm gonna talk to Carl, tomorrow, about us. I think you should move into our cell. I'm tired of hiding this, us. I want to sleep next to you. I want to wake up with you in my arms. Can we do that?" He kissed her softly.

Amanda's shoulders began shaking against him and he realized she was crying again. Climbing onto the table, Rick laid her down with him, wrapping her in his arms while she softly sobbed against his chest. He stroked her hair and back, whispering soft word of comfort and held her until the trembling stopped.

* * *

**Thanks to all my reviewers and followers! Please take the time to review and let me know what you think!**

**Special thanks to Siarh for help with teenage girl angst.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Just a warning for my dear readers: This chapter is pure unadulterated smut. Enjoy!**

* * *

Amanda awoke to moonlight filtering through the barred windows of the infirmary. Rick still had his arms around her, her head cradled against his shoulder. His veiled blue eyes watched her. "Hey you," she said sleepily, as she touched his stubbled cheek. He kissed her palm. "How long have I been out?

"A couple of hours, I guess." Rick leaned over and kissed her lips.

"Did you sleep?"

"No." _I couldn't stop watching you. _

She snuggled closer and pressed her lips against the warm skin of his neck. His pulse quicken. Smiling, she trailed kisses along his jaw line and nipped his chin. He moved above her, pressing her hips into the thin cushion of the table. "Sure you should be doing that?" His clear blue eyes burning with desire.

"Isn't that why we came here?" she asked running her hands down his back and up under his shirt.

"I just thought you might've changed your mind, Mandy."

"Not me. Gonna take more than a couple of walkers to keep me away." She licked the pulsing flesh at the base of his throat. "Are you backing out, Officer?"

"Hell, no!"

"Good," She laughed as she wove her fingers in his hair and crushed her lips against his, spreading her legs just enough for him to fit in between. He was already rock hard and she moved suggestively against him.

"Damn," he said hoarsely, coming up for a breath. Propping an arm on either side of her, he asked, "Gotta condom?"

Amanda sighed, dejectedly, "My dealer was out." She giggled at his frustrated expression. "Oh, baby, don't be like that." She stroked his rough cheek and kissed him. "Like I said before, there are other things we can do."

A seriously devilish grin spread across his handsome face. He sat up and began to unfasten her pants, never taking his eyes off of hers. He tossed them, along with her panties on the floor. She reached for the hem of her shirt.

"Stop." Rick's voice was low. In command. His cop's voice.

She complied. "Yes, sir." A slow grin spread across her face as she let him take control. He pulled off the t-shirt and the tank she wore beneath, surprised he hadn't noticed earlier that she wasn't wearing a bra.

Rick sat back straddling her hips. "I just want to look at you." She was so beautiful, so sexy, and she wanted him and didn't hesitate to show him just how much. He wanted to see her lose control while the moon shadows danced across her smooth naked flesh. He ran his fingertips lightly along her sides and hips and back up resting beneath her breasts. Leaning over, he took one in his mouth sucking on it for a short moment before she arched into him clutching his shoulders while bucking into his erection. He wasn't going to last long at this rate.

"Slow down, baby," he whispered against her ear then nipped the lobe sharply and she groaned loudly, biting down on his shoulder. Rick grabbed her wrists and held them above her head. "You're not listening, Dixon." She grinned unrepentantly and tried to wiggle under him but he squeezed his thighs tight against her sides effectively stilling any movement.

"Is that how we're playing, Officer Grimes?"

With one hand holding both wrists, he licked a path from her ear back to the taut nipple that beckoned him and sucked it hard while kneading the other one that was straining for attention, too.

Her heat spread though his pants to his hardened shaft as she rubbed against him. "Mandy," he growled a playful warning. She cried out as he lightly bit her nipple and forced his free hand between them stroking her hot, wet center hoping to appease the throbbing between her thighs.

She groaned and pressed herself desperately into his hand. "You know, officer, sir," her voice husky with need, "You could use both hands if you cuffed me. Don't suppose you have any?"

Rick froze. _No darling, they're on a fucking rooftop in Atlanta where I fucking cuffed your dad to a fucking pipe. _He collapsed against her chest. _Fuck!_

She pulled a hand loose and placed it on the back of his head, "Baby, you okay?" _Oh shit, what did I say?_

His slid up her body and kissed her softly. _Why does it have to be so hard? This isn't how I wanted to tell her._

She wrapped her arms around his head. "Rick? What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing, Mandy." _Everything_. _Should've told her in the beginning._

She kissed his lips. "Wanna talk?" she offered, peppering soft kisses on his lips.

Rick sighed heavily, "No, hon. Not now. But I promise we will. Tomorrow...when you get back, we will. Okay?"

"Sure, baby," Amanda said, not really feeling that way. She worried about everything he kept inside, trying to be strong for his children, for her, and for the group. She softly kissed him, trying to take away some of the pain she knew he was holding onto.

She spread her legs letting him fall between them, his semi-hard erection still pressing against her aching core. God, how she wanted him inside of her. She didn't care if they used a condom, or not. Not really. She wanted him so bad that it hurt. Ranger Rick, however, would never go for that. He wouldn't take a chance. He was right, of course. She just wanted to feel him, filling, stretching, moving against her hungry body. Amanda stroked his back from shoulders to ass and kissed him, teasing his tongue, begging it to come and play. "C'mon baby," she breathed into his mouth while stroking his cock that was pressing into her stomach again. She loved how his body trembled under her hands. Smiling in satisfaction, she continued her ministrations, feeling his pulse quicken, his breath burn against her cheek, and his mouth clamping over hers as he began to finally respond. He ran his hands down her sides and grabbed her ass squeezing tight. "Oh yes, Rick, baby. That's it," she purred, dipping her tongue in his ear. Any reservations he had just flew out the window.

Amanda squealed when Rick suddenly slid down her naked body leaving a fiery trail of hot kisses straight to her core. He pushed her quivering thighs apart, lapping at the sweet juice pooling at her center. She was so wet. Wet for him. _Fuck! _

He slipped his fingers inside, stroking, twisting, curling them against the tight walls. Amanda moaned and arched into his mouth and hand, gripping the cushion tightly trying not to fly off. God, how she wanted him inside of her. She bucked hard into his hand urging him deeper crying out his name and let out a low whine when he cruelly pulled his fingers out leaving her empty. He rolled off the bed, grabbed her behind the knees and pulling her legs up roughly so only her shoulders and head remained on the mattress. He stood between her thighs looking down at her with a dangerous gaze. Through half-closed eyes she met his eyes and smiled wickedly, her voice scarcely above a whisper, "Fuck me, Rick."

He dove into the wet hot channel with his tongue lapping at her, nipping, stroking sucking more. She almost came off the table when his tongue plucked at the swollen pink pearl buried in the moist folds. He smiled at her response and placed his other hand under her ass to hold her firmly against his mouth licking, tugging, circling her hyper-sensitive nub with his tongue gently taking it in his teeth then pulling until she cried out his name, in pleasure or pain, he didn't know and at this moment he didn't care. He just wanted to feel her come apart in his mouth. She screamed out his name again as her tight walls clamped down intensely around the fingers inside of her.

He lowered her legs and stumbled back on the table resting his head on her stomach. "Wow," she said, letting her fingers linger idly in his damp hair.

He chuckled against her sweaty bare flesh. "Yeah..." He kissed her belly. "Wow."

Amanda gently tugged him up for a sweet kiss, tasting herself on his lips. "You gonna scream this loud when you move in my cell?" he asked, resting his head between her breasts.

"You gonna make me come?" she countered.

"You're going to be the death of me," he muttered in her hair.

She smiled and stroked his hair. "But you'll die happy," she promised resting a hand on his back.

He laughed and pressed his lips into her soft supple breast. "That I will, that I will, Possum." She smacked his head "Ow!"

"I told you not to call me that." He laughed and grabbed her hand pulling it down to kiss and began sucking on her fingers.

"Why are you still dressed, Ranger Rick?" She reached between them and tugged at his buckle.

"Ranger Rick? Really?"

"Don't like it? Then, don't call me Possum." She licked the outline of his lips nipping at the corners when he didn't part them for her tongue.

"Mandy, I don't think we have time..."

"You think I'm gonna let you go back in this condition, baby?" she asked cupping his hard length, to remind him that they weren't done yet. "That wouldn't be fair," she murmured against his cheek as she worked his belt loose.

"Don't you think they'll be..." his protests died on his lips as she unzipped his jeans and pulled him out.

"No," she said pulling his full lower lip into her mouth rubbing her soft cheek against his deliciously stubbled one. Amanda wriggled out from under him and moved to position herself on top, almost falling off the narrow table. Rick caught her with one strong arm and hauled her against his chest. She laughed, "Nice catch, Officer."

"Just doing my duty, miss."

"How will I ever thank you?" She moved down to sit on his thighs. "Like this?" she asked stroking, rolling her hands around the thick shaft , then leaning over to flick the tip with her tongue. Rick grabbed her thighs. "Shit, Mandy..."

She just smiled at him and did it again. He clutched at her hair as she closed her mouth over the end sucking softly while stroking his shaft fast. He'd held back so long..._Fuck!_

His body jerked as she dragged her tongue down the straining length to lap at his balls. "Mandy..." he warned trying to push her off but she refused to move away. She pressed her hands into his hips while moving her mouth up and down on his cock.

"I can't..." he choked out and pulled at her shoulders. _He didn't want to come in her mouth._ He jerked and twitched as his white hot seed hit the back of her throat. She swallowed hard and fast taking it all, not stopping until he lay spent, gasping for breath, muscles twitching. Amanda sat back on her heels watching his chest rise and fall with the effort of trying to catch his breath. She wiped her mouth with a finger then sucked it clean, smiling when his muscles jerked again. Weakly, he pulled her to him around, kissing the top of her head as she settled into his shoulder. He couldn't find the words he wanted to say so he just held her and kissed her until the both fell into peaceful sleep.

* * *

**This chapter is dedicated to my proof-reader/mentor ;) and a loyal reviewer who loves the gift of smut for Christmas. You know who you are so I won't name names! **

**Happy reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

When Rick woke, it was almost dawn. "Mandy, hon, wake up," he softly whispered in her ear. Amanda wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him in for a deep kiss and slipped her still naked leg between his.

"Possum! Wake up." He shook her shoulder gently.

"Mmmmm," she murmured against his neck, kissing the salty skin. "Just another minute, baby." She licked the outline of his jaw. "Please..."

Rick caught her hand as she tried to slip it inside his shirt. "It's almost dawn, baby...we gotta get back."

"Noooo," she moaned.

"Yes," he insisted, kissing her quickly, then rolling off the table before she could grab him again.

"Sure I can't talk you into one more round, Ranger Rick?" she asked as she stretched lazily, wetting her lips.

"Stop." It was all he could do not to climb back on the table with her. There would probably be hell to pay as it was.

Amanda laughed at his exasperation. "Party pooper." She slid down and started to gather her clothes. When she bent over to pick up her shirt, Rick smacked her bare ass. "Hey!" she yelped. "Thought you didn't want to play anymore. Change your mind?"

"Looking for these?" Her pink panties dangled from one long, strong, sexy finger.

Amanda grinned. "You keep them." And she shimmied into her shorts.

He grinned back and shoved them into his front pocket.

"Did you pick up my knife?" she asked looking through her own clothes.

"Yeah, here it is. I cleaned it up for you. It's a nice one."

Smiling, she said, "Thanks, baby," and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him as she pocketed her knife. "Daddy gave it to me for my tenth birthday. Didn't wanna leave it in a walker's skull." She wrapped her arms around his waist for a quick hug.

Rick sighed and kissed her soundly, then rested his forehead against hers. "Be careful out there today, Mandy."

"I always am."

"I'm serious, baby. Please don't take any chances," he pleaded, cupping her face in his hands. He rubbed a thumb across her lips and kissed them again.

"I won't." Amanda promised and he pressed his lips to her forehead before heading to the door.

Rick went out first, scanned the area, then motioned for her to follow.

It was too much to hope for that no one would be awake yet. The sun was just starting to shine through the high windows of Cell Block C and their absence had not gone unnoticed.

The group was used to Rick being gone at all hours without saying a word but not Amanda. "Hey, Dad! Amanda!" Carl swung the door open wide and almost before he could step out of the way, Daryl charged through catching his friend, the former deputy, square in the jaw with a fist, knocking him into the other room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? What d'ya think you're doing?" yelled the angry redneck drawing his fist back for another attack.

"Uncle Daryl!" Amanda screamed, tackling him before he could land another punch. "Stop it, you asshole!"

"You best get off me, girl," he snarled, trying to shake off his clinging niece.

Rick stood up slowly rubbing his aching jaw. _Man, Dixon could throw a punch_. Knowing how protective the man was of his niece, he wasn't surprised at his anger but he should have been ready for it. Rick held up his hand, "I don't wanna fight you, Daryl."

_Too late. _"Should've thought of that 'fore you started fuckin' my niece."

"We talked about this..." Rick started.

"Get the fuck off, you crazy bitch!" Daryl tried to dislodge Amanda from his back without success.

"NO. Not until _you_ calm down."

"Amanda, I think your uncle and I need to talk," Rick said in his soothing, lets-all-calm-down cop voice, which actually had the opposite effect on both Dixons.

"Talkin's over, Grimes," Daryl growled.

"Rick, _you _don't need to talk to Daryl, I do."

The tone of her voice said everything and Rick was smart enough to know he was he couldn't win, so with a nod Daryl, squeezed Amanda's shoulder and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. Then he went into to the cellblock, locking the door behind him.

"You done?" she asked her fuming uncle. He grunted and shrugged her off when she loosened her grip. With her feet firmly on the ground, she said "Let's go outside and talk."

When he didn't follow, she demanded, "NOW."

They took it to the guard tower which was quickly vacated by Maggie and Glenn after they saw the steam rising from both Dixons that were stomping in their direction.

"Don't look at me like that," Amanda said to her scowling uncle, so he turned away to stare down the road. "You listen to me, carefully, you stupid, stubborn, son of a bitch." She inhaled deeply, trying to tone down some of her annoyance. "I don't know why you hate Rick..."

"I don't..."

"or why you hate me with him, but you are not my daddy..."

"You best be thankful I ain't," he interrupted, "'cause your Daddy woulda killed him! Him putting you in danger for a piece of ass. He wasn't thinking with his brain..."

She smacked his shoulder. "I wasn't in danger..."

"Then why you covered in walker brains and shit?" He stared pointedly at her, waiting for an answer.

"I got lost. It was my fault. It was dark and..."

Daryl took another threatening step toward his niece, who continued to stand her ground. "Bullshit, Amanda! If you hadn't gone lookin' for him..."

"Would you shut the fuck up and let me finish?"

Daryl huffed, then sulked and went back to staring down the road. At least he was quiet.

"I know you care and I know you worry about me, but I'm a grown woman and I'll fuck whoever I want, whenever I want, without your permission or approval. _You _best remember that!"

He shook his head and spat, "You ain't no better than your momma."

"Why? Because I can make my own decisions and don't need a man to do it for me?" She tried to temper her rising anger. "I appreciate that you care, Daryl. I really do but please try not to show it with your fists. Okay?"

He just grunted. _It's the only way I know how, Possum._ _No promises._

"Besides," she said, laying her hand on his arm, "Rick's a good man and I really like him, Uncle Daryl. A lot. I _more _than like him and he likes me too. He wants me to move into his cell."

_Oh, well, just fuck me, now_, he thought but "Pft," was all that came out. He closed his eyes, and rubbed his face, suddenly feeling very tired. God, he was glad he didn't have kids of his own if it was this difficult trying to take care of his niece.

Amanda leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Please try to be nice to him, Uncle Daryl. I think I may love him."

* * *

After his earlier "outburst" and attack on Rick the entire group steered clear of Daryl Dixon for most of the day, that is all but Beth. She followed him around being overly helpful in checking that Glenn, Maggie, and Amanda had everything they needed for a safe run. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why the girl was still here with him. She was so nervous and jumpy...why the fuck she didn't run off like a scared little rabbit was beyond him. Just what he needed. Another crazy bitch. His head really hurt_. I need two bottles of Jack_, he thought, wondering if Grimes had actually put that on the "shopping" list. _Bastard best have._

"Need to fill up the tank," he muttered to himself opening the fuel door to the old pick-up.

"Here you go," Beth chirped, holding out two full five-gallon gas cans that she could barely carry.

He raised a brow. _How the fuck did she get that so fast? _Relieving her of the burden, he took both cans at once because he was afraid she'd tip over if he only took one. When he accidentally brushed her soft hand with his rough, dirty one, in the process, she gasped, jerking her hand back as if she'd been bit. _What was her problem?_ Did she think he was going to go off on her, too? He ain't never hit a woman..._Shit. _"Sorry darlin'," he mumbled an apology for whatever she thought he did and poured the gas into the tank, taking no notice of the bright pink flush that spread across her chest and the small smile on her that danced on her pink lips.

* * *

Rick hugged Amanda and kissed her thoroughly, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his jaw. She kissed the bruise lightly and cupped his cheek. "Sorry."

"Why? You didn't do it and don't be..." he said against her lips, "it was worth it." She laughed and leaned into him circling his waist with her hands and reached down for a quick feel of his tight ass cheek.

"You're trying to get me killed, aren't you?" He half-teased.

"Of course not, baby. Don't worry. I can handle my uncle," and she reached down with her other hand to squeeze the other cheek.

Rick groaned, though she couldn't tell if it was a good groan or a bad one. "Did you tell him I asked you move into my cell?"

"I did."

"That explains the death glare he's been giving me."

She moved her arms to the back of his head and pulled him down for a deep kiss.

"Be careful, Mandy." He tilted her chin up to make sure she saw how serious he was.

"I will, Rick. We've been through this already."

"I know, I know...I just worry..."

Amanda cut him off with a kiss. "I'll be fine. I've done this before."

Rick wrapped her in a tight embrace memorizing the feel of her body against his, smiling, knowing he'd be waking up with her in his arms in the morning.

Rick walked Amanda to the truck. Glenn was already in the driver's seat, Maggie in the middle, so she sat by the window. "Come back to me, Mandy," he said softly and gave her knee a squeeze before he shut the door. Maggie elbowed her and then Glenn. She didn't say anything but grinned from ear-to-ear. Rick tapped the top of the truck and Glenn started the engine.

"Wait up," Daryl called, jogging over to Amanda's side. "Outta my way, Grimes." he growled, pushing his way to the window. "Here," he said and shoved a large-ass knife at his niece. Actually, it was more like a machete. "Don't do anything stupid, Possum."

"I won't and I love you, too, Uncle Daryl."

"Pft." He snorted.

The prison gate had barely closed behind them when Maggie started grilling Amanda. "Oh my God, Amanda, you have to spill it! I mean we knew ya'll liked each other but coming back to the cell block together..."

"Maggie!" Glenn chided and she promptly ignored.

"Beth told me Daryl went ballistic! I can't believe he slugged Rick!"

"Rick's a good man," Glenn said, "Daryl ought to be happy for you. I guess he hasn't forgotten about Atlanta."

"What about Atlanta?" asked Maggie.

"Nothing," Glenn tried to backtrack. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"But you did, You were with Daddy in Atlanta, too, weren't you, Glenn?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah," he said barely above a whisper.

"What's the problem?" asked Maggie.

"My daddy didn't, er...doesn't like cops...at all. In fact he pretty much hates them."

"No kidding," Glenn snorted.

"Was it really that bad between them? I mean Daryl won't say anything."

"Yeah, it was." Glenn became pretty tight-lipped which was unusual for him and he refused to speak anymore on the subject.

The run went well. They worked good as a team and cleared out the day care quickly, without a hitch. Glenn put a crib in the back of the truck because Judith had outgrown her bassinet. The diaper and formula supply wasn't as great as they had hoped for but it would do for now. However, they found a pretty good stash of baby food. Maggie picked up a portable playpen so they could take Judith out in the yard with them.

Glenn drove a little further past the abandoned town and they found a convenience store where Amanda discovered a bottle of whiskey hidden in the office drawer. It wasn't Jack Daniels, but it would do.

Maggie scavenged behind the counter. "Jackpot!" she called out laughing. "Here Amanda!" and tossed her a small box.

Amanda caught it with one hand. "Condoms!"

"Wait a minute," Glenn protested from his post at the door.

"Don't worry, honey," Maggie cooed. "I kept the flavored ones for us."

Both women burst into giggles when Glenn blushed bright red.

"Hey thanks, Maggie!," Amanda said, still giggling. "I owe Beth one."

Maggie stopped, mid-stride. "Beth? She's the one who stole my condom? I thought it was you!" Surely her little sister didn't take it.

"Um...er...No! I didn't steal it. Beth gave it to me, just in case." She couldn't see any way around the truth.

"Why on earth..." Her green eyes widened in sudden realization. "Carl? I knew they were getting to be close friends, but Carl?"

Amanda shook her head, biting her lip.

"Then who?" Maggie paused and it dawned on her. "Daryl!"

Amanda cringed and nodded.

Maggie burst into laughter, "Oh my God! Poor Daryl! I thought Beth was acting funny around him but not because...wait a minute, did they..."

"Of course not! It's just crush, Maggie. Daryl is clueless." Amanda didn't want to give away all of Beth's secrets.

Maggie snorted, "He is, isn't he?" Both women laughed.

Glenn stuck his head back in the door and gave the cackling women an odd look. "Hurry up, it's getting late. We need to get back before dark."


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a long, long day, and he knew he was tired, so he rubbed his eyes again by the time the truck finally rolled through the gate. But when he opened them, he still only counted two heads in the truck. His heart leapt into his throat. Even though they were shadowy outlines in fading light of dusk, he knew who was in the truck and who was missing. Where the hell was she?

He all but jumped from the tower in his rush to get to them. He saw the same panic he was feeling spread across Daryl's face as they both headed for the truck.

With grim faces, Glenn and Maggie opened their doors to face the two men bearing down on them. They had automatically gathered at the driver's side door, and Maggie was quick to come around to stand beside Glenn and hold on to his arm.

Rick circled the truck, running his hands through his hair. _Where was she?_ "Where's Amanda?" Rick demanded. "Mandy!" he called out frantically looking in the back of the pickup.

"Possum!" Daryl yelled then turned on Glenn and Maggie. "Where the fuck is my niece?"

"We lost her," Glenn answered, cringing, waiting for the pain of Daryl's fist hitting his face.

"You lost her?" Rick asked. He couldn't be hearing that right. The words didn't make sense. You don't lose a grown woman. _Is she dead? _The question screamed in his head but his mouth couldn't form the words. _ Please, God, no..._

"You lost her?" Daryl echoed. "Whaddya mean you fucking lost her?" Maggie threw herself in front of Glenn, praying the redneck wouldn't hit a woman. He lunged but Oscar grabbed him from behind in a bear hug before he reached the smaller man who fell back against the truck. "Best let go of me!"

The vise-like hold around him didn't lessen any. "Can't do that, friend," said the much larger ex-prisoner. "Just listen to what they have to say."

Daryl spat but stopped struggling against the man's iron hold.

Glenn's voice was shaky but he continued. "We got separated by a small herd of walkers. After they passed, we tried to find her but we couldn't. We called out but the walkers turned and came after us. We really tried Daryl. Rick."

"We really did try," Maggie said, clinging to Glenn. "It was so dark. We couldn't see. We didn't know what else to do."

Rick just turned from them, his face forlorn but determined. "Daryl, pack some supplies and let's go find her."

Some of the fight went out of Daryl, and Oscar loosened his grip. "Rick," Daryl said, taking the side of reason. "Think this out, man." His voice was steady but he felt he'd been punched in the gut. "I can't track her in the dark."

"Daryl..." Rick buried his face in his hands and took a deep shuddering breath. "I can't stay here while she's out there. Glenn, show me on the map...the last place you saw her." He couldn't leave her out there, alone in the dark. _We were suppose to wake up together._

"Possum knows how to take care of herself and she knows we'll come after her. Betcha she's found a place to hole up 'til morning. She's a Dixon. She'll make it through the night. We'll leave before first light." Daryl's "speech" was confident but he knew he wouldn't be sleeping much tonight.

* * *

Oscar had offered to take watch but Daryl wasn't gonna get any sleep. He took a swig of the cheap whisky Amanda had found and grimaced as he choked it down. That was ten kinds of nasty. Hell, the rotgut whiskey he and Merle made in the woods behind their house was better than this shit. But, it was all he had. He turned when he heard the shuffling of small feet, female, coming up the stairs to the guard tower. Had to be Beth. She was the only one that walked so softly besides Possum and her step was more confident. Carol's was timid but more determined than it had been when he first met her. Maggie's was, well that girl was a spitfire and had the pace to match.

"Hey," Beth smiled shyly. "Thought you might like some company." She pushed her loose blonde curls behind her ear.

Daryl grunted noncommittally. He really wasn't interested in paying attention to the ramblings of a young girl. He was thinking about tomorrow. Making plans.

Beth took that as a yes. She stood beside him, as close as she could without actually touching him. He smelled like trees and sunshine and sweat and it made her heart beat faster. "Sorry 'bout Amanda. I know you and Rick will find her tomorrow."

Daryl didn't comment.

"I brought you some water, if you want it." She looked at him sideways, making sure it didn't look like she was staring at his ruggedly handsome face. Which she was.

"Got this," he said holding up the whiskey bottle for her to see and took another swig.

"C-can I have a sip?" she asked hesitantly.

Well, that got his attention. She couldn't be serious. He snorted. "Really? Herschel will kill one or both of us," he said taking another swig of the vile stuff. _Probably me._

"Daddy doesn't have to know," Beth said conspiratorially.

Daryl chuckled, "You serious?"

"Why not?"

He shook his head then shrugged and handed her the bottle. "Just a sip, baby girl."

Beth sniffed it and shuddered so violently that Daryl actually laughed. A sexy, unexpected laugh that sent shivers all the way down her spine to her girly parts. She was determined to show him she wasn't a "baby girl" but a woman. She closed her eyes and tipped the bottle delicately to her mouth, gulped...choked...and spewed the fiery liquid all over the laughing redneck in front of her.

"Shit!" Daryl yelped and jumped back but not soon enough. "I said a sip, baby girl!" he said still laughing and slapped her back roughly. That didn't help. He dug a water bottle out of her bag and tried to get her to drink but the girl couldn't stop coughing.

Her insides, from mouth to gut, were on fire! _How could people drink this, this nasty...shit? _Her face was red and tears streamed from her eyes. She couldn't catch her breath. Beth was dying and knew it but she couldn't...not yet! She was still a virgin! _No!_

_This is my last breath_, she thought. _I wonder if we could do it...quickly, before I die...I'm going to tell him I love him. _ She opened her mouth to speak but she only croaked, a very unladylike croak.

Daryl leaned in, his face near hers. he supported her back with a large, strong, warm hand. "Here, baby..." His voice was soft, his lips so near, she could feel his breath caress her cheek.

_He's going to kiss me! Or give me mouth-to-mouth..._Beth closed her eyes and slightly parted her lips. _Finally..._

Daryl held the bottle up and let the water slowly dribble in between her open lips. Beth's eyes flew open and she spluttered..._Water!..._right into his concerned blue eyes.

"Damn, girl! he chuckled and swiped the back of his arm across his face. He took a rag out of his pocket and gently cleaned the whiskey, water, and spittle off of her face. "Get on back now, 'fore your daddy comes lookin' for you," he said and sent her off with a shove toward the stairs.

* * *

In the prison, Rick laid on his bed, and tried to fall asleep but he knew it was no use. He wasn't going to sleep tonight. He wasn't going to be able to sleep again until he had Amanda back. What if he didn't get her back?_ NO!_ He tried to shove that thought out of his head. Why couldn't he keep them safe? Why did the people he cared about keep dying? He was trying his best to take care of everyone but his best wasn't good enough. Amanda was like a light that kept his dark thoughts at bay. She should be lying here, right now, in his arms.

He didn't do right by Lori and that was something he couldn't change. He would have to live with the regret for the rest of his life but he had to deal with it for Carl and Judith's sake. God, it wasn't easy. Amanda was always there to pull him back when he would start to slide into that black hole of misery and self-doubt. Her smile, her laugh, and the way her eyes flashed when she was angry...

Carl's voice broke through his train of thought. "Dad?" Rick opened his eyes and wiped at the tears on his cheeks. "Possum'll be ok. She's a Dixon," his son tried to reassure him. Carl looked down from the upper bunk, concern on his face apparent.

Rick reached up and patted his son's arm. His voice cracked when he tried to speak. He started again, "You're right, son. She is a Dixon," he smiled. Daryl was right. She'd be okay tonight. She had to be. They would find her in the morning and he wouldn't let her out of his sight again.

"Dad, I know you said earlier you really like Amanda." Sometime after lunch, Rick had bit the bullet and talked to his son about Amanda moving into the cell with them. Carl had taken it a lot better than Rick had hoped, and had taken the opportunity to ask if he could move to his own cell. The two of them had moved what few items Carl called his own into the next cell. When Glenn and Maggie returned, and they had all heard what had happened, Carl put his blanket and pillow back on the top bunk in his dad's cell for the night. "Do you love her?"

Rick thought about the question for a moment. It wasn't the first time, either. He was afraid to face the truth. "I don't know, son. Maybe." _Yes. _To be honest, yes, he did love her and it took the thought of not seeing her again to drive it home.

"You gonna marry her?"

"I think you're jumpin' the gun a bit, Carl."

His son just shrugged. "Just don't expect me to start calling her 'Mom'."

* * *

The entire group including Judith was up before dawn. Carol and Beth made breakfast and packed some rations for Daryl and Rick. Glenn, Oscar, Maggie and Carl would see to the safety and security of the prison while they were out searching for Amanda.

Glenn showed Rick and Daryl the place on the map where they last saw Amanda. It was about fifty miles west of the prison. A little far out but not too bad. Daryl hoped his niece would stay put if at all possible and not try to find her way back to the prison on her own. If she did, it'd be all the much harder to find her. Fuck, then that would probably be the case. Dixons never made things easier.

Daryl was itching to leave and he tapped his fingers impatiently on the top of the truck while Rick said his goodbyes to Carl and Judith. He rubbed his scruffy chin and looked at Oscar standing by to open the gate. Oscar just shrugged and smiled. Daryl rolled his eyes. He turned back to glare at Rick, hoping to hurry him up when a blonde whirlwind threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"What the hell?" He stiffened and tried to push the girl away.

"Be safe, Daryl!" Beth said.

"Ready, Dixon?"

Daryl shook off the shroud of confusion that had overtaken him to see the man giving him an amused look. _What the fuck was his problem, now? _"Been waitin' on you, Grimes."


	13. Chapter 13

Rick had been driving for just under two hours when they reached the place on the map that Glenn and Maggie had marked. The ride was tense. Neither man had spoken the entire time. Daryl had just stared out the window, lost in his own thoughts.

This small town looked pretty much like every other place they'd seen this past year. Houses vacated, streets littered with abandoned cars, stores ransacked and the perpetual stench of the dead invading the air.

As soon as Rick stopped the truck in front of the convenience store the trio raided last, the surly redneck jumped out and headed inside to look for any signs of his niece. Finding nothing, he headed back to Rick who was checking out the other side of the street.

They were going to have to put aside their differences for now. Mainly Daryl really, because Rick seemed willing to overlook the fact that he had punched him. They had a common goal-to find Amanda-and they were going to have to work together to achieve it.

* * *

Amanda sat glumly in the live oak tree about twenty feet from the ground. She counted thirteen walkers milling about, snarling and clawing at the wide trunk, trying to reach her. At least they couldn't climb.

Rick and Daryl would look for her and Amanda was confident they'd find her before nightfall. She wasn't spending another night in this tree. Her haven wasn't too far off from where she got separated from Glenn and Maggie. Maybe a mile? She should be able to hear the vehicles. She knew she ought to stay put but she had been in this damned tree all night and she really had to pee. Getting around the walkers was going to be problem. Being faster than them was an advantage but there being only one of her wasn't. If they surrounded her, she became their next meal. She had a pistol Rick had given her. She could start shooting them but that might bring more. She could climb out on one of the sturdier limbs and drop to the ground outside of the circling geeks...that could work. Amanda had always been a good tree-climber. She would try.

This would be a piece of cake. When she reached the lower, thicker limbs the walkers began to get wound up...must smell her. She didn't take that into consideration. Still, she could make it if she moved quick enough. Gingerly standing up on a massive branch, she held on to a limb above for support and began to walking swiftly toward the outer edge.

She stopped mid-stride and her head jerked up. _What was that? _She heard the sound of an engine in the heading her way. _Uncle Daryl! Rick! _Amanda knew they would come. Must have left before dawn to get here so early. The sun was just above the horizon. _Thank you, God!_ She worked her way back to the trunk and looked through the leaves. She would call out but not before she saw them. No use taking any chances or bringing on more walkers for them to dispatch. The hum of a well-tuned engine neared. It didn't sound right. None of their vehicles ran that smooth. She climbed up higher to where the leaves were sparse to get a better look. A black SUV rounded the corner. Definitely not one of theirs. _Shit! _She could make out two men in the front, maybe one in the back? _Shit! _In these treacherous times, she had learned from experience, strangers weren't to be trusted.

Three armed men exited the vehicle, eyeing the horde of walkers at the base of her tree. "What do we have here?" the Hispanic man with a ball cap on asked.

A short, mustachioed man with a red bandana around his dark hair answered, "Looks like the biters treed something. Maybe a coon...or a cat. C'mon fellas let's see what we got."

_Fuck, no! Go away! _Amanda willed them to leave. She climbed higher pressing herself up against the trunk trying to stay out of sight. She watched the "battle" below as the men took out the walkers within minutes, enjoying it a little too much for her taste. _Please don't let them see me, _she prayed. She had run into some unsavory characters before she found the prison and she wasn't eager to reveal herself especially knowing that Daryl would find her soon.

"See anything, Shupert?" mustachioed man asked.

The giant black man looked toward the tree top. "Not sure." He shaded his eyes with a massive hand. "Maybe..." his deep voice trailed off.

Amanda held her breath, wishing she'd worn anything but red. _Stupid choice!_

"Let me see," said the younger Hispanic man as he peered through the thick limbs in her direction. "I think I see something." He paused and moved in closer, squinting as the morning rays filtered through the leaves. "Looks like a flag, or a...holy shit! It's a girl!"

_Fuck! _Amanda closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the rough. Was it really too much to ask for? Couldn't they just have passed her by?

* * *

Rick and Daryl looked down the road ahead of them and the smaller ones that intersected it. Rick pointed north. "Glenn said the herd came from that direction."

"So if it caught up with them here..." the hunter rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "she would have run that way," he glanced to the left. Maggie and Glenn were at the truck, Amanda was on her way out when the herd came between her and the truck...she could have ran back in the store and out the back door. Glenn couldn't see her through mass of walkers. It was almost dark when the herd had passed. They had to take out a few stragglers. Amanda was nowhere in sight. They were afraid to call out because they could still hear walkers moving about. His niece would have hidden. She wouldn't risk getting trapped inside so she must be outside..._in a tree_.

"She holed up in a tree." Daryl said confidently.

Rick looked skeptical. "You sure?"

"Hell yeah, I'm sure." He couldn't believe the man would even ask. "That girl can climb like a monkey. Walkers can't. She couldn't make it to the truck so she probably went that way. Enough obstacles to slow the geeks down but not her." Daryl pointed down a narrow road behind the store he just searched.

He started following it, crossbow in hand, scanning the entire area with practiced ease. He swiftly took out two walkers that had strayed into his path. Rick took out another as he followed close behind watching his friend's back. Daryl knelt down to pick up a red piece of cloth in the road.

"What is it?" Rick asked coming around to have a look.

"Possum's bandana," he answered and stuck it in his pocket.

_Thank God!_ Rick sighed in relief. "That's good. Means she's been this way." It wasn't much but at least they were on the right trail.

Daryl didn't answer but slowed his pace and searched the road methodically for any more signs of his niece.

* * *

"It's okay, girl, You can come on down," Bandana-man assured her.

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! _"That's okay. I feel safer up here."

"The biters are dead. We aren't going hurt you. C'mon on down." he cajoled "We have a safe place with food and water."

"I'm okay. Ya'll can go on now."

"Shit, boys. We don't have to time for this." he motioned to the other men. "Get your ass down here, bitch, or I'll have Shupert shoot you down." The very big black man pulled a bow from his back, knocked an arrow, and aimed.

"Fat chance. Too many limbs. You'll never make it." The taunt left her mouth before she realized the foolishness of pissing off a man with a weapon pointed at her. _Nice move, Amanda. _she mentally scolded herself,_ Stupid Dixon smart-ass mouth._

The man named Shupert let loose the arrow. It lodged in the trunk about five feet from her ass. _Damn! _That was a little closer than she thought he'd get. She shimmied down just enough to stomp the arrow, breaking it in two and the feathered end bouncing off the limbs to fall at the archer's feet.

"Little bitch!" the big man cursed, as he loosed another. It landed about two feet closer. She broke it, as well, and climbed a little higher.

"Don't waste your arrows, man. I'll get her," said the ball cap man and he started climbing up the tree. He was pretty good but not as good as her. Amanda smirked. She wasn't worried. He was too heavy to follow her into the narrower limbs at the tree top. At about six or seven feet below her, he stopped. "Shit!" he cursed as he tested a few limbs deeming none of them strong enough to support his weight. "Motherfucker!"

"Quit playing around and hurry up, Martinez!" ordered the mustachioed man impatiently.

Amanda smiled down at the man called Martinez. "I'm sure you have better things to do than chase me so why don't you head on back to whatever you were doing."

"Nope and this is what we were doing...looking for survivors. Thought we heard some last night. Came back in the daylight to have a look." He settled comfortably on a limb, legs dangling. "I'm Caesar. What's your name?"

When she didn't answer, he continued. "Are you alone?" he paused a moment.

"Yes," she said picking her words carefully. "Just me." She wouldn't give away the others. She didn't trust these men at all and since they had already revealed they had "safe place", there was probably more of them.

"You telling me, you're out here by yourself?" He looked up at her in disbelief.

"Yes."

He had the nerve to snort.

"What? You don't think a woman can survive on her own?"

Caesar shook his head. "No, girl. I didn't say that. It's harder to be on your own. No one to keep watch while you eat or sleep. Why don't you make it easy on yourself and come with us. We have a good place...we even have hot showers"

_Hot showers?_ He knew how to get a girl's attention. She shook her head in shame. _No, no, no! I will not sell out. _

_"_Thanks, gentlemen, but I'll have to decline your generous offer."

"We aren't leaving without you, so c'mon on down."

_Fuck. _"No." she replied, voice steady. Her gun was loaded and she palmed her knife.

He shook his head sadly, "You brought this on yourself." Then he pulled his own gun and aimed at her head.

_Shit!_ She pulled in her limbs and clung to the opposite side of the trunk but it wasn't wide enough to use for cover. Amanda yelled at him, "You crazy mother fucker, you're gonna call walkers in from miles around if you shoot that thing."

He shrugged and pulled back the hammer.. "We can handle them."

"Okay okay...you win!" She held up a hand in surrender, the other one holding on to the trunk. Amanda cursed silently. She didn't see a way out, not with three of them armed better than she was.

The man smiled and stuck the gun in back of his pants. "You have any weapons on you?"

"Just this," she said, holding out the bloodstained machete.

"Hand it over."

_Really? _Amanda dropped it just inches out of his reach, on purpose, smiling with satisfaction as she heard a yelp from one of the men below.

Bandana-man yelled, "Son of a bitch!"

Caesar chuckled. "Told you to wear those steel toe boots." Then said just loud enough for her to hear, "Good one, babe. I never liked him much." He called down to his comrades. "Crowley, she's coming down, I suggest you move back."

Martinez went down first but made sure she kept up. Amanda lowered herself to the ground with her back to trunk in a defensive position. "Don't touch me and I'll come along quietly. Lay a finger on me and I'll take it off."

All three men laughed. "A little thing like you?" asked the man they called Crowley.

"You wanna be the first to try?"

He raised his hands. "Come along, then." He gestured toward the black SUV.

"Ummm, er...can you excuse me a moment?" Amanda asked awkwardly.

"You aren't going back on our agreement, are you?"

"I-i have to...you know..." she crossed her legs. He wasn't going to make her say it, was he?

"Fuck," said bandana man. "Can't it wait?"

_You've gotta be kidding! _ She narrowed her eyes, stepped over a walker, and pointed a finger at him. "I have been in that fucking tree since yesterday and you ask me if I can wait? If you don't let me go now, I swear I will pee in that pretty car of yours!" _Seriously!_

"Fine," he said. "Shupert, bitch needs to take a piss..."

"Hell, no." the big man said as he walked away, slinging his bow over his shoulder.

"Martinez..." The other man had already started toward the vehicle. "Well, fuck!" Crowley muttered under his breath. "Alright...go on." He led her to some tall bushes just a few feet away. He glanced around and nodded toward them "Go!"

"Turn around," she demanded. She made a big production of stomping through the bushes, making sure she broke plenty of branches along the way.

"I ain't turning around so you can just run off," he grumbled.

"No, I can't _do_ it when someone is watching. Besides, there's three of you, surely one of you would catch me." She dumped the contents of her pockets kicking them under the dense brush. They wouldn't be readily visible to the casual observer, but then her uncle wasn't the average observer. When he was tracking her, he wouldn't miss the clues she left so blatantly.

"Hurry up."

"Shut up! I'm trying! Not used to an audience." Making sure her clues were sufficiently disguised, Amanda did her business because she really had to go but she was ever thankful that they underestimated her. She pulled her gun from the deep pocket in her baggy cargoes, and tried to flick the safety off with shaky hands...

"What the fuck..." Crowley yelled when he saw the gun in her hand. He charged, tackling her at the waist before she could aim. The gun flew from her hands into the tall weeds. "You little bitch!"

Amanda scrambled out from under him but not quick enough. He was stronger than he looked and he threw her down face first into the grass knocking all the air from her lungs.

By now, the other two men had ran over to see what the ruckus was about.

"Shit, Crowley, can't even handle a little girl," Martinez laughed.

"Shut the hell up and help me." He straddled her back, pulling her arm up until she cried out in pain and quit struggling. "Hand me the fucking duct tape, Shupert." He pulled up her other arm forcing another cry from her and taped her wrists tightly together. Sitting back on her ass, he tried to catch his breath.

"Fucking bitch pulled a gun on me," he panted. The other two men looked around, not seeing anything.

"You pussy." Martinez laughed.

"Get up, you little cunt," Crowley ordered and jerked her up roughly by her arms. Amanda cried out as pain shot through her shoulders. He grabbed her hair and pulling her head back so her ear was against his mouth. "Listen to me, you stupid little pussy, I'm going to..." the threat was cut short when she slammed her head back into his face with a satisfying crunch. He screamed and hit the ground, blood pouring profusely from of his smashed nose.

The two other men, now more cautious, circled her like animals stalking prey. "I told you we weren't leaving without you, girl. You think you can take on both of us? You got balls." Martinez chuckled "What do you think, Shupert."

"Watch out!" Shupert yelled. In the moment Martinez glanced at his friend, Amanda charged him and kicked at him, her foot glancing of his thigh and grazing his crotch hard enough to send him to the ground, writhing in pain. The letting out a string of curses in at least two languages that rivaled anything her daddy ever said.

However, with her hands behind her back, Amanda's kick had knocked her off balance and she was laying on the hard ground just a few feet from Martinez who, thankfully, was in no shape to do anything about it, just yet.

The only one still standing was the big man. The really, really big man. Amanda tried to move away but he was too quick he jerked her up by her shirt. "That's enough!" His deep voice shot down any plans she might have had for this one. "Understand?" he asked while holding her so just her toes touched the ground. She gave a slight nod.

"Good." He ripped off a piece of duct tape with his free hand and teeth.

"What are you going to do with that?" she asked, voice shaky.

He didn't answer but grabbed her head with one gigantic hand and brought the tape down over her mouth. Or at least he tried to. Amanda bit down for all she was worth into the soft webbing between his thumb and index finger. He bellowed and knocked her back as he grabbed his bleeding hand. "Mother fucking bitch!" He stomped off to their vehicle.

Amanda lay stunned on the ground, face throbbing from the impact of the big man's hand. Martinez had recovered enough to sit on her back, holding her down until Shupert returned with a sack, which they promptly threw over her head, wrapping her with rope so tightly that it bit into her skin. Shupert lifted her by her the rope on one side, Martinez on the other, and they dragged her to the SUV. They threw her still struggling form into the back, slammed the door shut and the three battered men drove off wondering if it had really been worth it...but orders were orders.

* * *

The two men had reached the edge of the town not finding anymore signs of Amanda. The trail Daryl had followed ended at a large wooded area that must have once been a park, complete with a now overgrown picnic area and dilapidated playground. What really caught the hunter's attention was the enormous live oak tree in the center. He smiled one of his rare smiles and nodded to Rick.

"Possum?" he called out. "Are you up there?"

Rick jogged ahead. "Mandy!"

No answer. Daryl grabbed his arm as they approached the tree cautiously and gestured to the carnage scattered about the base of the tree. At least a dozen dead walkers, he calculated though it was hard to tell because of the extent of the butchery. The feathered ends of two broken arrows lay among the severed body parts.

Something else wasn't right. Daryl knelt down to touch the indentions in the earth. His blood ran cold. Three sets of footprints. None of them small enough to be his niece's. Large work boots. Men. He followed them, two went toward the pavement. One veered off to the left joined by a smaller set. Possum's. These small ones barely left an impression. She always had a light step...had to be hers.

The hunter crouched near a copse of bushes. Several broken twigs were strewn randomly about...she was leaving clues for him. _Smart girl. _The sun glinted off something small and shiny. Daryl nudge the pine needles away with his the toe of his boot.

_What the hell?_ "Fuck," he said shaking his head in disbelief. "You have gotta be kidding me, girl."

Rick walked over carrying the Glock 17 that he'd almost stepped on, the same one he had given Mandy before she left. The clip was full but the safety was off. _She couldn't get a shot off?_

"Here you go, lover boy," Daryl tossed Rick the "clue" Amanda had carefully hidden for him.

Rick stared at it and then back up at Daryl. _Really?_ "You really think she..."

"Oh hell, yeah she did, probably did it just to piss me off."

Smiling, the former cop shook his head and stuck the strip of condoms in his pocket.


	14. Chapter 14

Merle Dixon watched as the Martinez and Shupert brought in a live one. _Damn_. Another survivor. Woman, too. They'd covered her top half with a bag. She broke Crowley's nose, cut off the end of his boot, barely missing his toe, kicked Martinez in the nuts, and bit Shupert in the hand and she wasn't even a "biter". Shupert better send a thanks to whatever god he prays to for that piece of luck. The wildcat was kicking and screaming and making such a ruckus he couldn't help but admire her fire. He shook his head and laughed. "Looks like you boys might need some help." He and the man he called the Governor looked at each other. "Want me to handle this one, Gov?" he asked the man with a wide grin.

"Think you can?" The taller man chuckled not taking his eyes off the bagged prisoner.

"Hmpff. Ain't come across a bitch yet I couldn't handle, sir." Merle stood up straighter, eager for the confrontation. She was a small thing but he wouldn't underestimate her like those other fools did.

"Put her down, boys," ordered the Governor.

Shupert dropped the woman none too gently on the floor and jumped back. Merle howled with laughter. "Almost got you, again, man." She let out a string of curses that almost made Merle blush. Almost. She kicked out with her feet trying to hit anyone around her. "Touch me again, you filthy cocksuckers, and I'll feed you your balls!"

"Couldn't you have gagged her?" asked the governor, looking displeased at the crude outburst.

"Sorry, Gov. We tried. That's when the bitch bit Shupert. She's not bitten, we already checked. Barely got her hands taped."

"She alone?"

"Yessir. Found her in a tree, surrounded by biters. Should've left her there," Martinez answered.

The Governor raised his voice, speaking in a calm yet authoritative manner. "You're in a safe place, young lady. Just calm down and we'll take the sack off."

"Fuck off! Get away from me you filthy motherfucker,"she cursed at him, trying unsuccessfully to get to her feet. "I'm not afraid of you."

Merle narrowed his steely blue eyes and cautiously circled the struggling female form on the floor.

She kicked out with a booted foot. A small knife slid out and skidded to stopped at Merle's foot. He picked the familiar weapon with the mother-of-pearl handle and turned it over in his calloused hand. _Could it be? _"Possum?"

The wildcat in the sack stilled. The only sound in the small room was her heavy breathing. The three other men turned and fixed their eyes on Merle.

"Daddy?" a little voice squeaked.

Merle cut the ropes and ripped the bag off. Amanda blinked hard trying to adjust to the sudden brightness in the unfamiliar room. For once in his life, Merle Dixon was speechless. He dropped to his knees and cut the duct tape that bound her wrists. Amanda threw her arms around his neck. "Oh my god, Daddy! I knew you weren't dead!" She cried as he pulled her to her feet and wrapped her tightly against him. She sobbed into his chest. "I can't believe it, Daddy! Oh my god! Daryl said..."

"Hush, baby girl," Merle said, pressing her face harder into his shirt to muffle her words. "Not here," he whispered the warning into her hair. "Understand?" He felt her nod, then released his grip. He pushed the tangled mass of dark hair back from her eyes and held her face in his calloused hand. Wiping tears from her cheeks with his thumb, he said, "Hush, ladybug, You're safe now. Daddy's got you. I ain't gonna let no one else hurt you." He kissed her forehead and hugged her again. Then, he stepped back and bellowed, "Which one of you motherfuckers gave my baby girl a black eye?"

Martinez and Shupert both took a step back. Merle wasn't the biggest man in Woodbury but he was by far the toughest and the meanest. His temper was legendary and though he'd manage to control it more often than not these days, the two men weren't taking any chances. They'd unwittingly "roughed up" his baby girl and Merle Dixon wasn't the forgiving kind.

"Now, now, Merle." interjected the Governor. "They couldn't have known who she was. No harm was intended." The tall man spoke smoothly to diffuse the situation. "Please, Merle. Introduce us to your lovely daughter."

The veins in Merle's neck pulsed furiously as he fought his rage. He fisted his hand at his side and swallowed. "Sorry, governor, sir. This is my daughter, Amanda. Amanda, the Governor." He deliberately ignored the other two men in the room.

The governor extended a hand. Amanda didn't like this man. She didn't like the tone he used when he spoke to her daddy. She couldn't believe Merle hadn't knocked his teeth out yet. She glanced at her dad who nodded slightly so she held out her hand. The governor clasped hers in both of his big hands and held tight.

"Welcome to Woodbury, Amanda. I am charmed and frankly, quite surprised. Merle never told us he had a daughter."

"Ain't seen my baby for years, sir," muttered Merle. "Me and the girl's momma never saw eye-to-eye." That wasn't the only reason but he didn't feel the need to share his personal shit with anyone. He'd been locked up in County last time Amanda was in Georgia and he wouldn't let Daryl bring her for a visit. He didn't want her to see him there and he didn't want the other inmates seeing her.

"Must look like her mother," mumbled Martinez elbowing Shupert who just grunted.

"Shut the fuck up!" Merle barked.

The Governor finally released Amanda's hand with a pat. "Merle, why don't you take your daughter home. She can shower and change and rest up a bit. I'll have Rowan bring over some fresh clothes. You two can catch up but I expect to see you both for dinner at my place tonight." He smiled, turned on his heel and left, followed by his two thugs.

"C'mon, ladybug, let's go."

"Daddy, I..."

"Not here," Merle hissed and led her out the side door of what appeared to be a warehouse. He practically dragged her down an alley along the backside of what appeared to be a deserted row of houses until he came to a nondescript door on the end. He unlocked it and shoved her into a dimly lit, tiny studio apartment. Exhaling loudly, he leaned back against the door. "Thought I'd never see you again, ladybug."

He was thinner, older, and grayer, but his eyes were clear...clean. Amanda couldn't remember ever seeing him quite like this. Then she noticed the obvious lack of a right hand and horror registered on her face. "Oh my God! Daddy, what happened to you?" she asked, as she gingerly touched the apparatus on his arm.

"Later, baby girl." He stroked her cheek with his left hand and pulled her to him again. Long forgotten emotions welled up in his chest and his breath caught in his throat. He stroked the back of her head as he fought back the tears that threatened to reach his eyes. _Dixons don't cry. _He was afraid he would break if he spoke. Gathering all his strength he managed to say, "Clean up, then we'll talk. Easy on the hot water. Ain't much."

* * *

Merle's mind was racing. _Holy shit! My baby girl is here! Alive! And she's happy to see me! I guess the end of the world can change a lot of things. She said Daryl's name. She was with him? My baby brother's alive, too? _He was almost afraid to ask.

"Hurry up, Amanda!" He paced the length of the room like a cage animal. _Fuck! _His mind was racing. He couldn't concentrate. If it had been anyone else he would have grilled them first, but Ladybug looked so pathetic covered in dirt and blood, twigs in her hair and...a shiner. _Fuckin' assholes! _He didn't give a shit if it was an accident. Someone would pay for hurting his baby.

Merle jumped when a knock sounded at the door. _Shit, Merle, you pussy. _What was wrong with him? He knew Rowan was coming. He cracked it open enough to see the pretty brunette that warmed the governor's bed. Well that was until Blondie showed up. Maybe she was looking for another place to lay her head. _Not bad. _A little to skinny for his taste, but hell, who wasn't these days? _Focus, Dixon! _"Hi! Mr. Dixon. Here's some clothes and shoes for your daughter." Rowan stepped forward onto the threshold and acted like she expected to be invited in. Merle blocked her with his body, propping his stump on the door frame. _Hell. Bad timing, girl. Any other day... _Course, she wouldn't be here if it weren't for Amanda. Rowan stood on her tiptoes trying to peek around him. _Damn, she smells good. _Merle took this opportunity to sneak a quick glance down her blouse_. Not bad. Fuck, Dixon, you don't have time for this. _He grabbed the items and nodded, making sure his eyes made contact with her soft brown ones. "Thanks, darlin'," and shut the door a little bit too quickly. _I hope she ain't going take that personal._

"You done yet, Ladybug?"

"Yeah," she called back.

"Clothes are on the bed. Hurry up."

* * *

Amanda dried off quickly and wrapped the towel around her hair. She picked up the clothes on the bed. _You've gotta be kidding. A dress? _She couldn't remember the last time she wore a dress...oh yeah...the ugly-ass bridesmaid dress...pretty much the day everything went to hell. Oh well. She slipped it over her head and pulled up the back zipper. Good fit. She held up the brown leather boots for inspection. They would have been cute any other time or place but the heels...not very practical for the apocalypse. Hopefully, she wouldn't be called on to defend herself while wearing them.

"Got a comb, Daddy?"

"Do I look like I need a comb," he grumbled, running his hand over his shorn head. He stopped in his tracks when she walked out wearing a flowered sundress and boots that went to her knees. _Fuck! _His baby girl wasn't a baby any more. She was beautiful. _I dare any of those motherless bastards to even look at her. Shit. I'm so fucked! _

Amanda just laughed fondly and kissed his cheek. "Sorry, grumpy." She continued to comb out her hair with her fingers.

Merle's blood boiled at the bruising around her eye. Yep, if none of the bastards would speak up, he'd have to make them all pay. He chuckled to himself, _Hell, baby girl took care of Crowley all by herself. _He had a broken nose and two black eyes to boot. Still, Merle figured Daddy Dixon owed the motherfucker one, too. But he'd wait until he was nice and healed up first. He grinned in anticipation of the beating he would enjoy administering to the man.

"C'mere, baby." He pulled his daughter down to the couch beside him so that they sat facing each other. Amanda kept trying to comb out that damn mop so he grabbed her hands to still them. "I'll find you something later, Possum. Now just listen a sec."

"Okay, Daddy" She nodded. Amanda couldn't help but grin. She reached over and hugged him. "I'm so glad I found you." She squeezed him tight. Merle's wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Is Daryl alive?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper against her hair.

She pulled back to see his face, and nodded "Yes, Daddy! He..." Merle hushed her with a finger to her lips. He closed his eyes a moment and choked back the emotion. If he was a prayin' man he'd a send up a thanks to heaven. "We'll talk 'bout it later, after this damn dinner tonight."

Amanda put her arms around his neck. "I was so scared. I missed you so much. I felt so bad about leaving things the way I did...I'm sorry, Daddy...I..."

"Hush, baby girl. Ain't nothing else matters anymore. You and Daryl being alive...that's all that counts." He rubbed her back awkwardly. He wasn't use to displays of affection but it felt like the right thing to do. It felt damn good to have his girl again. "Listen to me, Possum. There ain't nobody here you can trust but your ol' man so keep your mouth shut at dinner. Don't say nothing' 'bout where you been or who you were with. Got it?" She nodded. He was really scaring her. "Atta girl. Just follow my lead."

"Now,' he said, pulling her up with him. "Let's see what the governor has on the menu tonight."

* * *

Merle guided Amanda out the front door into a place she could only describe as a town coming straight out of a storybook. Well-kept houses with immaculate "mini-gardens" lined either side of the main street. The median was built up like a park complete with trees and a few picnic tables.

The laughter of children filled the air as they played and rode bicycles as if they didn't have a care in the world. Everyone smiled and waved.

"Hey, Merle. Congratulations on finding your daughter." An older gentleman clapped him on the back and his wife gave Merle a quick hug and peck on the cheek.

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer man. You're a lucky girl." She smiled and patted Amanda's hand.

There wasn't a person they passed that didn't have a kind word or a smile for her daddy.

"This place is awesome." _And a bit weird. _Amanda squeezed Merle's arm.

"Yeah 'spose it is," he replied, distractedly.

A nice-looking young man approached them with a wide grin on his clean shaven face.

Her daddy's glare stopped him in his tracks. "Keep on walking, boy," Merle growled, "She ain't for you."

"Hey, he was kinda cute," she teased her dad.

He grunted, "He ain't man enough for you if he can't look me in the eye."

"You know I was only joking." she bumped up against him. "I already have someone anyway."

He turned to look at his daughter. _Did she just say she had a man? _"Somethin' you wanna talk about?"

"Later. After dinner and after you tell me about this," She said as she tapped his right arm.

"Hi, Merle," a blonde batted her lashes at him and he turned to watch her ass as she passed.

"Really, Daddy?"

"No harm in lookin'."

She punched his arm. He just laughed and squeezed her hand.

A pretty redhead bounced up to them. "Hey Merle. This must be your daughter, Amanda."

"Damn bunch of gossips." Merle grumbled.

"You know it," laughed the young woman, smiling up at him, green eyes flashing. The redhead reached across Merle to shake Amanda's hand, making sure she brushed up against his chest. This didn't go unnoticed by either Dixon.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Jessie. A...A friend of your Dad's."

"Nice to meet you, too." Amanda raised her brows and glanced at Merle who was starting to look a little uncomfortable.

"If you need anything, Amanda, let me know," Jessie offered. "I'll help you get settled in anyway I can."

"Gotta comb?" she asked sheepishly.

Jessie grinned. "I believe I might have one here in my purse." She dug around a few seconds. Merle shifted his weight from side to side and cleared his throat. Both women ignored him.

"Will this do?" Jessie held up a small pink comb.

"Thank you! Amanda grabbed it and started working furiously at the almost dried curls which only making them frizzier. "Damn."

Jessie laughed a nice laugh. "Here. how about this?" She gave her a hair band.

"Even better!" Amanda exclaimed as Jessie helped her put her hair up into a messy bun.

"Women," Merle muttered watching them with growing impatience. "Don't wanna be late, Amanda."

They kept on talking like he wasn't even there. "Oh that's much better, Amanda. Find me tomorrow and we'll get you some conditioner."

"Thanks, Jessie," she said patting her hair.

The redhead touched Merle's arm lightly with her fingertips. "Is she going to be staying with you Merle?"

"Course she is. Where else would she stay?"

"Just wondering. Bye Amanda. See ya later, Merle," she said as she trailed her hand down his arm.

Amanda grinned at her daddy. "What?" he snapped. "Dumb bitch. Don't what she was goin' on about."

"Well, Daddy, I think she was trying to ascertain...your place or hers."

He grunted and roughly took her arm. "Let's go."

"You telling me you're not hitting that redhead?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Where the fuck you learn to talk like...never mind. Fuckin' crazy women." She burst into giggles at Merle's discomfort. She's never seen her Daddy like this. Amanda looped her arm around his prosthetic one and they walked the rest of the way to the Governor's house lost in their own thoughts.


	15. Chapter 15

**Dear Readers, please be advised that this chapter contains non-con sexual contact.**

* * *

Rick Grimes and Daryl Dixon studied the map spread out on the hood of the old truck. Amanda's trail had run cold. Her uncle was convinced her abductors carried her off in a vehicle. He'd followed their path until ended at the pavement. His search of the surrounding areas revealed nothing.

Rick pointed to couple of towns near their present location. "These could be possibilities. We oughtta start checking the closest ones and work our way out."

The hunter didn't say anything. He knew it was a long shot, at best. But, hell, he didn't have any better ideas. His niece was a smart girl. If she was able to, she'd leave clues behind for him to find. Thing was, he couldn't find a goddamn thing. Not since he found the strip of condoms. And from the damage to the tall grass and surrounding bushes, he'd guess she was dragged, kicking and screaming, as far as the parking lot. After that...he could only guess and he didn't want to go there. He hoped she'd keep her smartass Dixon mouth in check so maybe her captors wouldn't kill her just to shut her up.

Rick drove slowly down the route they'd planned out while her uncle scanned the area for signs, any kind of sign indicating living people had passed through. Rick still couldn't believe Amanda was missing. He was so sure they would have found her by now. Daryl believed she was taken, taken by at least three men, based on the boot prints they discovered in the soft dirt under the oak. Cold fear gripped his stomach. He shouldn't have let her go. It wasn't like he really had a choice but maybe he could have talked her out of it...convinced her to stay. He should have tried.

* * *

Amanda stood beside her father as the Governor introduced her to the other dinner guests. The pretty blonde woman, Andrea, was "with" the Governor. Apparently she had known Merle in Atlanta. Amanda would make sure to talk to her later. Milton was Woodbury's resident scientist, and a favorite of the Governor who was certain he would discover a cure for the pandemic that swept the world. The bespectacled man was almost a cliché with his intellectual, yet awkward, demeanor and obvious nervousness around women especially Amanda. He seemed downright frightened of Merle. Merle didn't even try to hide his dislike for the man.

Dinner was an informal affair. They sat at a small round table in the kitchen and ate delicious venison stew served by the Governor.

"Mmmm," Amanda said savoring the scrumptious meal. "Did you make this, Andrea?" she asked.

The blonde looked a little taken aback. "Um, no, Phillip?" she looked at the Governor questioningly.

He smiled at her indulgently "I can't take the credit for this fabulous dish. Rowan prepared it, at my request. She is quite the gourmet."

Merle choking on his food, spitting it back in the bowl.

The Governor gave him an annoyed look. Milton looked disgusted.

"S-sorry, sir. Must've choked on a bone." Merle said hoarsely.

"You okay, Daddy?" Amanda asked slapping him on the back.

"I'm f-fine," he coughed. "Just stop that sh-, I'm fine, ladybug." He drained his water glass in one gulp. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Easy on the stew. I'll explain later."

Amanda pouted. It was really good and she was really hungry. Merle kicked her leg. She flashed him an angry look, "Fine."

Milton poured her another cup of tea. "I must say _Miss Dixon_, You are quite the well-mannered young lady...not at all what I would have expected when the Governor said _Merle's_ daughter was coming to dinner."

_Really, Did that little weasel just insult my Daddy..._

"Hey, Watch your mouth, boy!" Merle warned and started to get up from his seat but a sharp look from the Governor sat him back down.

"Gentlemen," Phillip intervened. "This is not the time to air your petty differences."

"Yessir," mumbled Milton and Merle at the same time, earning Milton another scathing look from her dad.

"Milton," Amanda began, "My mother was a debutante who was a stickler for etiquette. She made sure to teach me how to behave appropriately in all situations."

"Well she certainly did a fine job. I assume you were a debutante, too."

Amanda sipped her tea delicately, as a young lady should and sat the cup down before speaking. She folder her hands in her lap. "Then, my dear Milton, you'd be wrong," she smiled at the confused man. "Momma tried to push me down that path but...well...let's just say I was too outspoken for that type of lifestyle."

Merle snorted. "No shit."

This time Amanda kicked him under the table but he just laughed.

"You know, Merle," Andrea said, "It's a miracle finding your daughter after all this time." She turned to Amanda. "Phillip tells me that his men rescued you."

_Rescued me, my ass._

"Yes ma'am. I was lucky they found me." She took pleasure in the way the blonde cringed at being called ma'am.

"How did you manage on your own."

"Dixon blood." Amanda answered proudly, refusing to elaborate.

Merle patted her hand. _Good girl._

After dinner, the Governor and Andrea cleared the table and refused Amanda's offer of help to clean up.

Amanda sat in the living room while her dad stood at the door like he was on watch or something. She gestured for him to sit by her but he shook his head. She went to him. "Daddy, why don't you..."

"Don't wanna. Go on, now."

Amanda let it go for now, She had other things weighing on her mind. "What's up with the stew? There weren't any bones in it."

Merle turned to look at her. "The Gov dumped Rowan for Blondie."

"No shit?" Amanda's stomach started to roll when the implication started to sink in. "Man, Daddy, that takes balls, asking your ex to cook for your new girlfriend!" _Shit!_

He gave her a hard look. "Tol' you to go easy on it, Ladybug."

"Shut up, Daddy!" She covered her mouth with her hand. "Do you really think it was poisoned?"

He shrugged. "A bitch scorned..." The words died in his mouth as heard footsteps heading in their direction.

"Please, Amanda, have a seat, you must be tired. You too, Merle. You're off duty for a few more hours. Relax." The Governor went to the bar and started pulling out glasses.

Reluctantly, Merle sat on the arm of the sofa by his daughter. He rested his stump on the back, behind her head. Andrea and Milton sat across from them while Phillip poured drinks and passed them around. "Scotch?" he asked Amanda.

"Sure," Amanda said. She sniffed daintily..._oh the good stuff. _She winked at Milton who blushed and suddenly found his own cup of tea very interesting.

She looked up at her dad. He swirled his in the glass but didn't take a drink. _To hell with that_, she thought and tipped hers back, letting the smooth liquid slide down her throat. Almost immediately she felt the warmth spread all the way to her toes. _Damn, that was good! _She smiled.

The Governor smiled back. "Would you care for another, Amanda?"

"No." She and Merle said at the same time.

"No thank you, Governor." She repeated and then looked sharply at her father who was shooting her a threatening look. "What's the matter, Daddy," she said, patting his knee. "Afraid I'll get drunk and seduce Milton?"

Merle called her a little bitch under his breath but Amanda knew he was fighting a smile. He kept his head down to hide it from the others.

Milton turned bright red and spilled some tea in his lap.

Andrea laughed, covering her mouth with her hand, and handed the mortified man a napkin. "She's just teasing, Milton. Aren't you, Amanda?"

And the Governor, she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Milton excused himself, claiming a headache. Phillip wanted to discuss "business" in private with Merle. That left the two women alone.

"So tell me, Amanda, what was it like out there on your own?" Andrea asked.

Daddy told her not to trust anyone, and this one was a lawyer so she brushed off the question. "Nothing to tell, you do what you have to do to survive." She went back to sipping her tea wishing, she'd taken the Governor up on his offer of another glass of Scotch.

"It must have been awful." The blonde woman commented. "I was actually on my own for awhile, too." Phillip had seemed unsettled since the arrival of the young Dixon woman and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. He'd actually asked Andrea to try to find out more information about her.

Amanda shrugged. "Then, you know," she said and took another sip of tea.

Andrea smiled. "I guess I do." The young woman was as tight-lipped as the Dixon men, she thought.

"Can you tell me something, Andrea?"

"Sure."

"Daddy said ya'll met in Atlanta. Can you tell me what happened there?"

"What exactly do you know?" Andrea countered with her own question.

Amanda wasn't willing to give up what Daryl told her, even if it wasn't much. Merle got separated from the group and she wanted to know why. She didn't understand why Blondie was being evasive. She was starting to doubt that her daddy was gonna tell her when they got back to his apartment.

"I didn't really know Merle back then..." Andrea began.

"So, tell me what you do know."

This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Andrea should be leading the questioning. How'd the little bitch turn it around on her?" Amanda, you really should ask Merle."

"Listen, Andrea. I'm not asking you to sugarcoat anything. I know my daddy...I know what he was like. He was an obnoxious, drug using ex-con who couldn't stay clean long enough to pick his 12 year-old daughter from the airport when she came to visit for the summer. I've seen him high more often that not." She paused for a breath and fought back tears. She wouldn't be weak in front of this stranger. "But, h-he's different now. Something changed him and I just want to know what happened to bring my daddy back."

"The Governor, here, did, baby girl. He and his men brought me back when I was half-starved and damn near bled out. Lookin' death in the face makes a man realize what's important." Merle leaned over and kissed his daughter's head. "Now let's get home so you can get some sleep. Been a long day."

Amanda smiled weakly, thanked the Governor and Andrea for their hospitality and followed her daddy out.

* * *

Daryl rubbed his face tiredly with both hands. The first two towns he and Rick checked were barely wide spots in the road. No luck there. The next was so overrun with walkers, they had to skirt around the outside of the town to avoid a pretty good size herd. No way Possum was there.

The sun was low in the sky, casting long shadows over the landscape and now he couldn't see shit. They'd have to find a place for the night. Start searching again tomorrow. _ Fuck! _He thought they'd all be home tonight. Home. When had he started to think of the prison as home?

Rick had been quiet most of the day. Daryl was thankful because he didn't wanna talk about it. He just wanted to find his niece. He could tell by the worry lines etched in the man's face that his friend was taking this pretty hard. Maybe as hard as him. Hell, Daryl should've known better. Amanda was more than just a piece of ass to Rick. Grimes really cared about her. Daryl wanted to tell him he was sorry for punching him but...he wasn't _that _sorry. The man should've been more discreet.

"Daryl! Over here," Rick called. He pointed to a water tower at the edge of town. "I'm going up there. I might be able to see something, a campfire, headlights, I don't know. Anything."

"What are we waitin' for?" Daryl replied, jumping into the truck.

Rick drove the short diastance and parked at the base of the tower. Both men quickly climbed high enough to see over the treetops in the waning light.

"There!" Daryl said pointing west. "Just to the left of the tallest pine."

Rick squinted, barely able to make out a faint glow in the direction Dixon indicated. "I see it, I think." Then it was gone. Both men looked at each other. "Where'd it go? There was something there. I saw it. I know I did."

Daryl shook his head. "Don't know, man, but I saw it, too. That's where we head at first light."

* * *

The only light in Merle's apartment was a small candle that cast eerie shadows across the coffee table on which it at. Merle leaned back on the couch with his right arm around his daughter while she rested her head on his shoulder.

Amanda told him how she found Daryl several months ago at the West Georgia Correctional Facility with a small group of survivors and she'd been there ever since. Merle had never been in that particular establishment but he knew exactly where it was.

"Who else is there, Ladybug?"

"Nope, It's your turn, Daddy. You promised." She snuggled closer.

Merle sighed. "Some prick cuffed me to an iron pipe in Atlanta and left me there. Had to saw my own hand off to escape from the fuckin' geeks."

"Oh my God, Daddy!" Amanda hugged him, tears slid down her cheeks onto his shirt. She couldn't imagine the horror her daddy went through. "Who could do something like that?"

_Fuckin' Officer Friendly. Hope that prick is still alive so I can kill him. _He swiped at his damp shirt. "Cut that shit out, ladybug. You're gettin' my good shirt all wet," he scolded, half-heartedly. He kissed the top of her head and then rubbed her back until she stopped crying. "Tell me, baby girl, who all you got at that prison?"

She shifted against him. "Amanda?"

He was answered by a soft sniffle and a snore. "Well, fuck." he mumbled. Merle slid out from under her, slowly lowering his sleeping daughter down on the couch, careful not to wake her. He stuck a pillow under her head and covered her with a blanket. "Guess we'll have that talk in the mornin'."

Merle Dixon stretched out on his bed. He'd meant for his baby girl to sleep here but he didn't want to wake her. It'd been a long damn day and he was bone-tired himself. He wanted to catch a few z's before his turn on the wall.

* * *

Amanda woke up alone and disoriented. She was lying on a couch in a dimly-lit room with a lumpy pillow under her head and a worn blanket tucked under her chin. Daddy's house, she smiled, remembering where she was. When she was a child she would cover her daddy with a blanket and put a pillow under his head when he passed out on the couch, or in a chair, or sometimes, even on the floor. There was an oil lamp, flame burning low, on a table by the front door. Merle was gone. She slipped her feet back into her boots and wished she had something other than this stupid dress to wear.

Opening the front door, she peeked out to see a deserted street, no lights of any kind shone from the windows. Woodbury at night wasn't even a shadow of the happy, bright place she experienced in the daylight. Amanda stepped out into the cool night air closing the door behind her. Walking softly wasn't an easy task in the impractical high-heeled boots she had to wear. She stuck to the shadows, a habit developed since the world went to shit, and headed toward the front gates of the town. She thought she heard voices in that vicinity.

"Don't you know there's a curfew, bitch?" A chilling voice, dripping with hatred stopped her in her tracks.

Amanda reached for the knife in her boot but it was too late. Crowley grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her painfully against him, his own knife at her throat. "Don't even think about screaming, bitch, you'll be dead before the sound leaves your mouth." She tried to struggle but the blade bit into to the soft skin just under her jaw. He dragged her into the alley and pulled her through a metal door, kicking it shut behind him. The room was dark except for a small candle in the center of a round table that stood in the middle of the room.

Crowley shoved her in one of the two chairs that sat around the table. Still holding her by her hair, he pulled her head back painfully exposing her pale neck. He put his mouth to her ear and said, "You're too pretty to be Dixon's girl. Betcha your ma was a whore and didn't know who your daddy was...just saddled that piece of trash with her bastard."

She wanted to head butt him, like before, but he gripped her hair too tight. Laughing harshly, he said, "Ain't gonna work again, sweetheart," and he licked the side of her face from her chin to her ear. Amanda shuddered in disgust.

"Now, we need to have a little talk," he said. "Seems the Governor doesn't believe your story. Said he heard you say the name 'Daryl.' That's Dixon's little brother, ain't it?"

She didn't answer and Crowley jerked her head back farther. "Ain't no way a little cunt like you could survive all by herself, Dixon or not. Make it easy on yourself. You tell me what I wanna know and I'll be nice." He licked the other side of her face. "Where'd you come from and how many's in your group?"

"Go to hell," she spat.

Crowley just laughed, "Don't matter one way or another to me. I like it rough." He slid the tip of the knife down the neckline of her dress to rest between her cleavage. His knuckles grazed the soft mounds. "Mmmm, nice," he said squeezing one hard, cold metal and jagged nails digging into the tender flesh. She forced herself not to make a sound. He sucked her ear into his mouth, "C'mon, little girl, talk to me." She tried to pull away and he bit her earlobe hard.

Tears sprang to her eyes but she refused to give him the satisfaction of crying. Her voice trembled as she said defiantly, "My daddy will kill you, if I don't kill you first!"

"You ain't going be in any shape to do nothing, bitch, unless you cooperate." He let go of her hair long enough to pull a zip tie out of his pocket and quickly bound her wrists behind her back. "Now, that's better. I can use both hands."

"Fuck you!" Amanda screamed as she kicked out and hit him in the shin with the sharp heel of her boot.

"Stupid fuckin' bitch!" Crowley yelled, backhanding her across the face. He ripped off her boots and a small knife fell to the floor between them. He picked it up and grinned. "Guess you won't be needing this." He chuckled as he dropped it into his front pocket.

She glared at him defiantly. "You know, you're a dead man, don't you?"

"Don't know when to give up, do ya?"

"Dixons don't give up."

The man just shook his head and laughed. "You're a tough one, ain't ya." He pushed her legs apart and knelt between them, leaning forward, he licked the tiny stream of blood that trickled from her lip. "It's been awhile since we had some new pussy around here," he said, lips brushing against her cheek. Pulling off his bandana, he tied it securely around her mouth. A truly terrifying smile spread across his face as he wrapped one hand in her hair and shoved the hem of her dress up with the other. "Lot of the fellas already calling dibs on ya." He dragged his knife along her inner thigh until it came to rest against her panties. "But the Governor said..." Crowley pushed the silky fabric aside with the cold sharp tip of his blade. His breaths came faster as his fingers found their way into her soft, warm center. "Goddamn tight pussy," he grunted. Amanda whimpered and struggled against him. "Governor said I could keep ya if I got the information he wanted." He thrust his fingers in harder, finally forcing a cry from her lips. Pleased with himself, he smiled and grabbed her chin, biting her lower lip, sucking more blood out of the cut. "And believe me, little cunt, I intend to do just that."

* * *

**A very special thank you goes out to Siarh for her endless patience, helpful tips, and honest opinions. **


	16. Chapter 16

Merle Dixon's watch was finally over. It had been a long damn day and long damn night and he was ready for some shuteye. After he and Martinez put their rifles away in Woodbury's armory, he'd head on back to his place, check on his daughter and finally get some much needed sleep.

"Goddamnit, Merle, you coulda pulled that punch a bit." Caesar Martinez rubbed his jaw. "I think you knocked a couple of teeth loose."

Merle shrugged and shot the man walking beside him a unrepentant look. "You hurt my baby girl."

Unconsciously placing a protective hand over his groin, the younger man said, "Technically, my friend, your _baby girl _hurt me more than I hurt her."

"That's cuz you're a pussy." Merle snorted. The man grew up with four sisters. He couldn't help it.

"She kicked me in the nuts, bro. Ain't no coming back from that shit." Martinez shuddered, remembering the excruciating pain all too well. "Besides, man, It's...well, she reminded me of my little sister, Maria." The man was silent a moment but pulled himself together quickly. "And you know I don't hit girls, Dixon."

* * *

Amanda had to get out of there...before Crowley returned. But how? There were no windows in the small room. He'd locked the door when he left. She didn't have her knife anymore. _Bastard_.

Her wrists were still bound, hands numb. He had removed the gag when he was done with his particular brand of torture. Then, he started the questioning. She didn't understand why he wanted to know about her uncle, Daryl. He asked about the whole group from Atlanta. Where were they hiding? How many were left? Did they pick up more people along the way? What kind of weapons did they have? Amanda's head was spinning and her body ached with every movement from blows the man dispensed when he didn't like her answers. But she didn't tell him. Salty tears burned the cuts on her face and lips.

The door knob rattled. _Shit! _Amanda choked back a sob. He returned too soon! She pushed herself back with her feet into a dark corner furthest from the door. Masculine voices spoke on the other side of the door, not loud enough to comprehend. Crowley brought the Governor this time. That's what he said he was going to do...get the Governor. He would make her tell them what he wanted to know. She made herself as small as she could and closed her eyes and prayed.

* * *

The door opened with the screech of rusty hinges. Martinez entered first, "Listen, man, I was thinking...Fuck!" he cursed, stumbling over something in the dark. He shone his flashlight on the offending object. "What the fuck?" he muttered and picked up a brown leather boot, a woman's boot.

"Lemme see that," Merle snatched it from his hand. "Amanda?"

A sob emanated from the pitch black of the far corner. Merle knocked the other man out of the way in his effort to reach the far side of the room. "Amanda!"

"Daddy?" The battered form of his daughter illuminated in the beam of his flashlight forced the breath from his lungs.

"What the fuck? Who the fuck..." He knelt down before her. "Baby?" His eyes burned with tears of failure and rage. He cut the tie wrap from her wrists and tenderly held her bloodied hands. "Baby girl, who did this?"

Martinez took off his hoodie and handed it to Merle who carefully placed it over his daughter's tattered dress.

She sobbed harder. "I can't, he'll kill you daddy! He said he'd kill you!"

"Damn, girl, ain't no coward goin' kill me and only a coward would do this." He shook with repressed anger. He was trying real hard to stay in control of himself for her sake.

"Daddy, I didn't tell him anything," she cried uncontrollably. He kept hittin' me but I didn't tell him about Daryl. He kept asking where Daryl was."

"Dixon..."

"Fuck, Martinez! Not now!" He turned to his girl and asked, "Tell who, baby girl?"

The man dropped a dirty red bandana in front of Merle. Crowley's bandana.

Their eyes met. "Take my daughter home, bro, I got a rat to kill."

"Daddy, please" She held on to him. "Please don't leave me."

"Ladybug, I gotta..." Merle tried to extricate himself from his daughter's clinging arms. _Why the fuck would Crowley ask about his brother?_

"He wanted to know about the Atlanta group..."

"No, Dixon. Take care of her first."

"What the fuck do you mean 'no'?"

"Think about it man..."

"Ain't nothin' to think about." Merle's voice was deadly calm as he stood up, bringing Amanda with him, arm around her waist. "I'm going to kill 'im, and when he comes back I'm going kill 'im again. Get the fuck outta my way, you stupid spic. I don't wanna hurt you but if you get in my way..."

"Stop! Don't be stupid, man." Martinez pulled his gun out and pointed it at Merle's head. "You gonna listen to me, Dixon." He was terrified of the man but he wasn't backing down. "You saved my life more than once and I'm going to save yours this time."

Merle held his hand up but stepped forward. Martinez backed away. "Close enough, Dixon...Who else has keys to this place?" He was determined to make his friend understand how far this had to reach.

"Don't have time for this. Get the fuck..."

Martinez pulled back the hammer. "Who? Besides you, Dixon?"

Merle stopped. "Jus' me ...and the Governor." The realization struck him like a sledge hammer. _Fuck! Backstabbing mother-fucking son of a bitch! _

"Right, so how could Crowley get in, without a key?"

"He's right, Daddy. Crowley left to get the Governor." Amanda held on tightly to his hand. "We gotta hurry, before they get back."

Merle closed his eyes. His head hurt so much. He felt like his chest would explode. He really wanted to kill someone. Now. _Fucking motherless bastard. I'm gonna carve Crowley up and feed him one piece at a time to the biters. Then I'll take care of the Governor. _He closed his eyes inhaled deeply. _ Focus, Dixon, focus. _The red haze of anger was pushed aside while he realized his priorities. _"_Let's get Amanda somewhere safe." Merle pulled her against him with his right arm and pulled his gun out of the back of his waistband with the other. "The first place they'll look is mine." Merle said. "What about yours?"

"It'll be kind of tricky crossing the street and keeping out of sight. Any one on the wall who looks that way'll see us. Especially with the way that storm is lighting up the sky." Martinez handed Merle his daughter's boots and waited while he carefully helped her put them on her bruised legs.

"I got an idea," Merle mumbled picking up Amanda.

"I can walk, Daddy," she protested weakly, but leaned against him.

"Hush, girl," he said. Then, to Martinez, "Follow me."

* * *

"Knock again!" Merle ordered impatiently.

Martinez shook his head but knocked sharply on the back door of a house just a block away from the room they found Amanda in. "You sure about this, man? I don't think it's a good idea."

"Shut the fuck up," he hissed.

"Put me down, Daddy." Amanda struggled. "I can stand."

"You hush, too," he said more gently kissing the side of her face. "I'm gonna take care of you."

Martinez raise his hand to knock again when a dark-haired woman, wiping the sleep from her eyes, pulled back the curtain.

"What the hell is going on?" she said and quickly unlocked the door.

"Need your help, girl," Merle said as he pushed by Martinez and into the small kitchen.

"In here," Rowan ordered and the two men followed her into the living room. Merle gently sat Amanda down on the sofa.

"What happened?" Rowan asked returning from the kitchen with a washcloth and bowl of warm soapy water. She started to dab at Amanda's face but Merle grabbed the cloth away.

"I'll do it," he said gruffly not meeting her eyes.

"Crowley happened," Martinez answered.

"I'm leaving tonight. Me and Amanda," Merle announced. "My girl's been here less than 24 hours and they damn near killed her."

"You'll need back up." Martinez said, "I'm going, too."

Merle's first reaction was to object but then realized the wisdom of having someone he trusted to watch his back.

"Take me, too," said Rowan.

Both men were already shaking their heads. Merle looked at the raven-haired girl standing barefoot before him. _Oh. hell no! _Ain't no way he was dragging her skinny ass with them. It'd be all he could do to keep Amanda safe. "Forget it, girlie."

"You can't leave me here! They'll eventually figure out you were here. I might as well be dead. Besides, I'm a good shot." Rowan offered, "I can help cover you and your daughter."

Merle opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it. "Why don't you two work it out while I find some clothes for her." Rowan gently took Amanda's arm and led her to the bedroom. "Let's find you something to wear."

As soon as the women disappeared into the other room, Martinez turned on Merle, "That's the Gov's bitch Merle? You really trust her?"

"_Was _his bitch. He prefers blondes, now." Merle met his friend's incredulous stare. "And I don't trust no one."

* * *

The taller woman pulled out some clothes from her closet and tossed them onto her bed. "We haven't officially met," she said, and emptied out a dresser drawer onto the pile. "I'm Rowan." She brushed her long hair over her shoulder. "And you are Amanda. Merle's long-lost daughter." She smiled and gestured at the heap of clothing on the bed. "Sorry, they're a little big but take whatever you want. We'll shove the rest in my backpack."

Rowan stepped into a pair of jeans and pulled a dark T-shirt on over her camisole.

Amanda winced when she removed Martinez' hoodie and then the torn dress.

Rowan gasped in dismay at the other woman's bruised body., "Oh my god. That bastard!" She covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Oh, Amanda, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Let me get the washcloth and help wash off the dried blood."

"We don't have time," Amanda said, pulling on black knit tank. She covered that with a long sleeve t-shirt hiding most of her injuries from sight.

"You sure?" Rowan asked softly touching her hand.

Amanda nodded. "I just want to get out of here."

"Of course," The taller woman replied. "Here, try these capris, You won't have to roll them up." Rowan donned a pair low-heeled boots and gave Amanda a pair of athletic shoes that fit well enough with two pairs of socks.

She put her own hair up in a high ponytail and fastened Amanda's back with some clips.

"Ready?" Rowan asked.

Amanda nodded and blew out a shaky breath. "Ready."

* * *

"We're ready to go." Rowan announced, marching into the living area with Merle's daughter in tow. She and Amanda were fully dressed in dark shirts, jeans and semi-sensible shoes.. Amanda looked a bit green around the gills but other than that she seemed prepared for their escape.

Merle opened his mouth to speak but Rowan cut him off yet again. "I'm not staying behind, Mr. Dixon. So unless you plan to tie me up or knock me out, I'm going." She stood with her arms crossed and feet planted firmly on the ground.

Merle shrugged and looked around the room for something. "That'll do," he said triumphantly and pulled a tieback off of the curtains on Rowan's front window.

"You can't be serious!" she protested backing away.

He took a menacing step towards her. "Sorry, darlin', I ain't got nothin' against ya, you'll just slow us down."

"No I won't," she said hurriedly, stumbling backward into the kitchen. "I won't slow you down any more than Amanda. She's injured. I can help her." She squeaked as Merle closed in on her. "I-I can help your daughter, Mr. Dixon."

"Ain't got time for this bullshit, girlie." He grabbed one of her small wrists in his large hand. "Now, just hold still, damn it!"

Amanda grabbed his arm. "Daddy! Stop it! Rowan's right. We can't let them hurt her."

"Ladybug..."

"She can help me if you and Caesar have to fight. Please, Daddy." she pleaded.

"Fuck me!" He dropped the girl's wrist and threw down the tieback. Rowan let out an audible sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Daddy," Amanda said, kissing his cheek.

"Hurry up, then," he grumbled.

Rowan smiled "We're ready," Rowan said indicating the small pack each woman had over their shoulder. "Thanks, Mr. Dixon." "You won't regret it."

Merle grunted. _I doubt that._

Rowan looked both directions out the back door. "All clear," she whispered. "Where's Caesar?"

"Distracting Cooper," Merle answered. "We'll go out that way." He pointed to the right. "I need to get a couple a things, first. Meet me in five minutes! That's all you girls got, understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Alright then..." Merle didn't want to let his daughter out of his sight but he couldn't risk her being caught. There was no way around it. He hated having to rely on others. Made him feel weak. Helpless. He swallowed a little of his pride and barked, "Five minutes! At the northwest corner of the warehouse."

He slipped his big hunting knife into Amanda hand. He pressed his forehead against hers. "Don't be afraid to use it on the livin' if you hafta."

She nodded, grimly, "Yes Daddy." She knew she wouldn't have a problem with it.

Merle handed Rowan a smaller knife. "Same goes for you." He gripped her chin tightly in his rough hand, steel blue eyes staring hard into her soft brown ones. "Don't let me down, girl."

"I won't, Mr. Dixon." She met his fierce gaze with one of her own. "Promise."

* * *

Merle Dixon collected his few belongings and filled duffle bag with guns and ammo from the armory. He took as much as he could carry without slowing them down. Merle hid the key for Martinez so he could also gather what weapons he could carry. He ain't never trusted a spic before but he and the younger man had been in some tight spots together and Martinez never backed down and never ran away. As a fighter, he impressed Merle and that was no easy accomplishment. He figured between the two of them they should be able hold off whoever the Governor decided to send after them long enough to get his daughter, and now Rowan, to safety. _I'm a goddamn fool_. He never could say no to Possum and look what it got him. _Now I gotta protect two women. Shit! _

Merle realized he couldn't risk stealing one of Woodbury's few vehicles but he knew where to get one. He'd been planning his "escape" since Blondie showed up with news of his brother. He had a truck gassed up and ready to go. It was hidden behind a dilapidated house, a few miles out, one he was sure the Governor's men wouldn't bother wasting their time on. With the storm approaching, they'd have to move fast if they wanted to reach it before the rain came.

When he had told the Governor he wanted to go look for Daryl, the man had said he couldn't risk anyone for a wild goose chase. Blondie's news was too old to be reliable. Merle said he'd go on his own. Then the man said Woodbury would collapse without him. Merle snorted. That was bullshit. The Governor had been keeping him on a short leash since Blondie showed up and he was through with it. The Governor even had the nerve to say if he came up with some hard evidence, he'd actually go with him. Well, Merle's baby girl brought him all the evidence he needed and he sure wasn't gonna share it, now. No one told Merle Dixon what to do, especially when it came to taking care of his family. That man could go to hell and Merle would send him there. But first, he would deal with Crowley. He already had a special form of hell planned out for that bastard and he was going to enjoy every long damned minute of it.

* * *

**Thank you to my patient and fearless proofreader, Siarh. **

**Thanks to all my readers and reviewers (and my new guest reviewers). Your comments keep me fired up!**

**Happy Reading and Happy New Year!**


	17. Chapter 17

Daryl Dixon looked out of the attic window at the approaching storm. It would hit before sunrise, pretty much mucking up everything. Still, they'd keep looking. He wouldn't stop until he found his niece. He wasn't going back without her. Didn't sound like Rick was getting much rest himself, not by all the noise he was making, tossing and turning. _Shit_, Daryl thought he even heard the man mutter Amanda's name in his sleep. Maybe they oughtta go on and head out now before the rain started. Had to beat sitting up in this musty attic one more minute. At least they'd get something done.

* * *

About an hour outside of Woodbury, the skies opened up, drenching the little group of fugitives to the skin within seconds. Amanda was having trouble keeping up with the others. Her entire body ached and she just wanted to crawl into warm bed and go to sleep. Maybe the past twenty-four hours was all a bad dream. Except for the part were she found her dad. She stumbled and fell, again, but that woman, Rowan, was always at her side helping her up, urging her on. She didn't want to go on anymore. "Hang in, there, Amanda."

"I'm trying," she answered weakly, wrapping an arm around the taller woman's waist for support.

"You're a Dixon, aren't you? I thought Dixons didn't give up?"

Amanda just snorted. "You heard that, huh?"

"You're dad's a proud man and he's quite vocal about it," she chuckled.

_Dixons don't give up. Dixons don't give up. Dixons don't give up._

* * *

Merle led them through the torrential rain, keeping to the shadows the best he could. He wanted to get them as far away as possible tonight but the weather wasn't helping the situation. Martinez, who had been covering the rear, caught up to him. He had to shout to be heard over the storm. "We gotta stop, Dixon! Your girl needs a break."

"I know!" He shouted back. _Damn it! _He was frustrated, not at his daughter but at damned Mother Nature. _Just like a woman_. It hadn't rained in a fuckin' month and now the bitch decides to bless, or curse them, depending on how ya looked at it, with a downpour. On the positive side, the rain would slow the Governor. There's no way they could be followed. Merle suspected they'd be missed by now. Ladybug told him that bastard Crowley had gone to get the Governor. When he discovered she was gone, the first thing he would do was lockdown the town and look for Merle. What sort of twisted tale would the Gov spin to get the men to come after one of their own? He didn't really give a shit right now. The only thing that mattered was getting his daughter to safety.

Martinez threw a wrench of his own into the works. Merle chuckled and shook his head. Crafty motherfucker. After gathering his own supplies from the armory, the man scattered the remaining ammo and took apart as many guns as he could before leaving Woodbury. Martinez was a quick thinker. He liked that. Gave them extra time and they needed every minute of it.

The Governor also didn't know where Dixon was heading. Only he knew that very important piece of information. The West Georgia Correctional Institution...and Daryl was there.

"Over here, Dixon." Martinez pointed to a house on a corner lot. "What you think? It's small enough so there shouldn't be too many biters to clear out. Plus, it has windows facing each street. We should be able to see anyone coming from those directions."

Merle agreed. They quickly dispatched three biters and barricaded themselves in the corner room that also had a window balcony in case they needed an alternate escape route.

The women changed into ill-fitting but dry clothes that they scavenged in the vacated home. Rowan hung their wet clothes in the bathroom though she had little hope of them actually drying before they left this temporary refuge.

Amanda smiled for the first time since they escaped Woodbury when Rowan handed Merle a tacky Christmas sweater complete with jingle bells. "Ain't wearing that piece a shit, ya crazy bitch!"

Martinez laughed. "C'mon, Dixon. Red and green are your colors." He ducked just in time when Merle threw hideous thing at his head. "Hey! Watch it! You could take an eye out with one of those bells." Both girls giggled hysterically.

Merle let loose with a string of curses that made them laugh even harder. He finally settled on a simple white t-shirt from the pile of the clothing Rowan had gathered. There were no pants in the pile that would fit either him or Martinez. The younger man chose a pair of baggy sweatpants, rolled down at the waist. Merle picked out a pair of khaki cargo pants cinched tight with his own belt. Apparently the folks that had lived here hadn't been used to any kind of physical labor.

"I'll take first watch, Dixon, you've been up over 24 hours..."

"I'm fine." Dixon retorted gruffly.

Martinez jerked his thumb toward the bed. "Shut up man and just get some rest. I'm don't wanna have to carry your ass if things get tough," The younger man shot back.

"Fuck you, Martinez."

The other man laughed, settling into a chair, with his rifle across his knees, beside the window that faced toward Woodbury.

Merle lowered himself on the king-sized bed beside his daughter. Amanda had already fallen asleep. He brushed her hair back and place a soft kiss on her forehead, She snuggled against his right side. Rowan sat down next to Merle on the other side. He noticed the young woman's face in a flash of lightning. She looked disheartened. "Having second thoughts, girl?"

She shook her head. "No...It just that...I was born in Woodbury. Growing up, I always wanted to leave...to move somewhere more exciting, anywhere..." her voice trailed off. "Well, I guess I finally got my wish." She blinked back tears and smiled sadly at him.

Merle didn't know what to say to that so he patted her hand awkwardly. He really hoped she wouldn't take that as an invitation to talk some more. He hoped she wouldn't cry even more than that. God, but he couldn't stand a crying woman.

The young woman did neither. Rowan stretched out on the bed, right up against him. Just like that. Didn't even ask. She snuggled into side, cradling her head in his left shoulder. _What the fuck? _

"Thank you, Mr. Dixon." She said and rested a slender hand lightly against his side. _For what? Fuck! _He didn't know where to put his hand. He tried laying it on the bed but that wasn't comfortable. Neither was resting it on the headboard. He was so fuckin' tired. He didn't feel like dealing with this. If _this _was really anything. Finally, he settled it against her hip. If she didn't like it, _she _could move. He was there first.

Merle blinked hard trying to keep his eyes open. He should just give in to sleep. This bed was really cozy and warm. He trusted Martinez as much as he could anyone who wasn't kin. _Shit. _Maybe he'd close his eyes for just a minute...

* * *

Daryl kicked Rick in the foot. "Get up, man." Rick jumped up, gun in one hand, knife in the other.

"Easy there, Grimes." He gave the man a moment to get his bearings.

"Shit, Daryl," he said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "What's up?"

"If we leave now, we can reach this place by sunup." He pointed to the next mark on the map.

Rick nodded. "Alright, then, let's go."

* * *

Merle woke up to the pleasant feeling of a warm hand pressed against the bare skin of his stomach dangerously close to his waistband. He felt a familiar tightening in his groin. Must be dreaming. _Damn fine dream, too. _He smiled and reached down to adjust himself. His eyes flew open. There really was a hand on him! Under any other circumstance, this would have been one of his favorite ways to wake up. But Amanda was asleep on his right side and on his left was..._Fuck! _Rowan was on his left. Her silky, long dark hair tickled the sensitive skin under his chin. Her left hand had snaked its way inside the bottom of his shirt, somehow, without wakening him. He removed it carefully and eased himself off the bed trying not to wake either woman.

Martinez was watching him with a smirk.

"Shut the fuck up," Merle snapped at him before the man could even open his mouth.

"Hell, Dixon, What's the matter? I'm jealous," the younger man admitted. "Here we are, running for our lives, and you get felt up by a hot chick. What's up with that?"

"Dixon charm," he answered offhandedly as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Don't make me regret lettin' you tag along." Merle walked over to the window. Still raining. "See anything?"

"Out there or in here?" The older man cuffed him but Martinez just laughed. "Nah, man. Can't see shit in this rain."

"Get some sleep," Merle ordered. "But don't you dare touch my daughter."

Rowan woke up when Caesar settled into the big bed. "Want some help, Mr. Dixon?"

"Damnit girl, drop the mister, will ya," _I ain't that old. _"Nah, I got it. Go back to sleep." Merle answered turning back to the window.

She sat down on the floor beside him, wrapped up in a blanket. "Think we're going to make it? I mean get away from _him_?"

"Yeah." Merle had no doubt. It wouldn't be easy but they would do it. Failure was not an option.

Rowan stared out at the rain, her voice barely louder than the rain hitting the glass of the window. "What if they catch up to us?"

"We kill 'em." He touched her shoulder. "You gonna be able to do that? Kill 'em'? These are people ya know."

She looked down at her lap and nodded. "I think so."

"Ain't no thinking about it. Just do it cuz if ya don't, they gonna kill ya or make ya wish they had."

"I'm scared," Rowan admitted softly, looking up at him in the dark.

The flickering glow of the storm revealed her delicate features. She looked so young, Merle thought. "I know ya are, girl." He squeezed her shoulder. "Jus' don't let it keep ya from doing what ya hafta."

She scooted closer and leaned her head against his knee. He froze as her hand slid up his bare skin her fingertips drawing a meandering line through the coarse hair of his calf.

Merle picked up a tendril of her slightly damp black hair that lay across his thigh and let it cascade wistfully through his fingers.

Rowan turned to look up at the older man who she was now seeing in a different light. She turned toward him and he cupped her cheek with his large calloused hand. Moving between his knees and she rose up to press her lips to his. He slipped his hand behind her head and pulled her to him, pushing her lips apart to plunder her sweet mouth. She moaned beneath his gentle assault and slid her hands around his waist and under his shirt to feel the hard muscles of his back under her palms. He growled against her lips as she pushed her firm breasts into his hard chest.

Skimming his hand down her spine and inside the elastic band of the "borrowed" pants she wore, he cupped her small bare ass. _Fuck! No fuckin' panties. _Merle shuddered with the great effort it took not to come right then. Exhaling slowly, he lifted her slender body enough to rub his straining cock against her center. Rowan slid her hands around his neck and began to move against him of her own accord. He captured her groans with his mouth. The hand cupping her ass shifted forward enough to touch the wet hot flesh between her thighs. She pushed down against his hand trying to urge him to explore further. He circled her entrance with his rough fingertips, holding her against him with his right arm, trying not to hurt her with the apparatus' metal brace on her back.

Fuck, how he wanted to be inside her. He glanced over at the bed. Amanda was sleeping, buried in the comforter and so was Martinez. Could he chance it? _Fuck, yeah. _

"We gonna do this, darlin'?" he asked huskily, nipping at her collar bone as he pulled her t-shirt up enough to take a taut rosy nipple in his mouth.

Rowan hastily unbuckled his belt, jerked down the zipper of his pants. "Easy there, girl." he murmured. He wasn't wearing anything underneath either.

"Sorry," she whispered in his ear. "Can't wait." Her wet tongue dipped inside his ear. "I want you, now." She wiggled out of the loose fitting sweatpants.

"Fuck!" Merle hissed through clenched teeth as he helped Rowan position herself over his straining cock. She pushed down at the same time he thrust up, filling her completely. _Damn she felt good, so hot, so tight. _She met his every thrust with one of her own.

She buried her face in his neck with a long, low moan. "Oh god, Merle..."

"Shhh! Fuck, girl, don't wake 'em," he whispered in her ear. They moved together silently in perfect rhythm gradually picking up the pace until Rowan's breath came in short harsh gasps. Wrapping long strands of her hair around his hand, Merle held her head tightly against his stubbled cheek. Her short nails dug into his shoulders. Suddenly, his entire body tensed as she tightened violently around him. He grunted into her mouth as she cried out in to his.

"Hushhhh, baby! Fuck!" His body jerked and he thrust hard into her. Once, twice and once again. "Jesus H. Christ, girl!" He collapsed against her sweaty limp body.

Merle eventually regained his wits, kissed her on top of the head and leaned back in the chair. Rowan stood up between his legs and smiled down at him. He helped her pull the pants up but not before stealing a quick kiss on the triangle of soft curls between her legs before covering her up. She squealed and jumped back but he caught her, pulling her back into him.

"Damn it, girl!" he hissed, glancing over at the king-sized bed with his sleeping daughter and friend. "Hush up." Then, he traced her kiss-swollen lips with his finger and tenderly pressed his own lips against hers. "Now, git back to bed, darlin'."

Rowan trailed her fingers along his arm. "G'night, Merle."

He turned back to the window continuing his watch for the Governor's men with a small satisfied smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

* * *

Rick drove slowly down the dark flooded streets. They couldn't see much but they could cover some of the distance to the next town. Occasionally Daryl would hop out of the truck to check something out but found nothing so far. Even the walkers were scarce in this weather. He guessed the mud and water slowed them down too. The dead stumbled and fell and seem to have trouble getting firm enough footing on the slippery surfaces to stand back up so they either crawled or dragged themselves along in their never-ending quest for flesh.

Amanda lay awake, sandwiched between Rowan and Martinez, listening to the steady rhythm of Caesar's breathing. She wished it was Rick's breathing. She wished he was here, holding her against his chest in his strong arms. Kissing her. Taking the pain away. She bit back a sob. She was safe, now. She had her daddy and his friends and they would be at the prison soon. Maybe a day or two, that's what Daddy said, depending on the weather...and if the Governor's men caught up to them. He didn't say that but it was understood by all. Amanda wanted, no, needed Rick, now. She covered her mouth to hold her cries in.

"Hey," Caesar rolled on his side to face her. He made sure he was far enough away that Daddy Dixon couldn't misconstrue his actions for anything other than innocent. "It's okay. You're safe. Your dad's just over there, by the window."

"Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"No problem. I'm a light sleeper." He covered her hand with his. "We're not gonna let anything happen to you."

"I know," she said softly.

"You have someone waiting for you?"

Amanda nodded and smiled, "Yes. I was just thinking about him."

"He'll be happy to have you back." Caesar squeezed her hand. "Go to sleep and dream about your man, then. Maybe you'll be reunited tomorrow."

"Thank you, Caesar." _I hope so._

* * *

The old truck without its lights on, rolled to a stop at the edge of a new town that didn't look much different from the ones they searched through yesterday. Without speaking, Rick and Daryl exited the vehicle and began to methodically search the street, house by house, taking out walkers quietly and only as needed.

While the women slept, Merle armed himself. "Going after transportation, Martinez. We ain't getting anywhere like this." He looked out the window at the rain. It had slowed but not stopped completely. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Do what ya gotta to keep the girls safe."

Caesar didn't like it but he understood the rationality of Dixon's decision. Once they had a vehicle they could get far away from Woodbury fast.

"Daddy?"

_Shit! _"Go back to sleep, baby girl." Merle had planned on getting out and back before she woke.

Amanda pushed back the comforter and swung her legs to the floor**. **"Where you going?"

"Don't worry, Ladybug, I'll be back in a bit."

Rowan sat up, pushing back her tangled hair. "What's going on?"

_Fuck! _Merle and Martinez exchanged glances. Merle's was one of disgust and the other man's one of amusement.

Caesar filled the women in on Merle's plans.

Both protested. "Don't leave us."

Martinez said, "I feel like I should be insulted."

"Can't we all go together?" Amanda asked rising from the bed.

"No!" Merle barked, then lowered his voice at the startled look on his daughter's face. "I'm faster on my own."

Rowan had come around to stand beside him. She had already put her boots on and slipped into an oversized raincoat she had found in the downstairs closet. "I'll go."

"Fuck, girl! Ain't you listening?" _Damn pushy women._

"Won't hurt to have someone to watch your back, Dixon." Caesar added.

"Fuck both of ya!"

"I'll stay if you take Rowan with you, Daddy."

"You're stayin' either way, baby girl."

He stomped down the steps with Rowan on his heels. "You ain't goin' neither."

"But I..."

"Get your skinny ass back up there and make sure everone's ready to go when I get back with the truck."

"Mr. Di..." Rowan almost ran into him when he pulled up short.

Turning to look at her, Merle raised an eyebrow. "You still gonna call me mister after last night?" His voice was softly teasing.

"S-sorry," she blushed, remembering last night very vividly, "but Merle..."

"But nuthin'," He tangled his hand in her hair, pulling her against his chest and kissed her breathless. Then smacked her ass sharply and said, "Now git up them stairs, girl."

Without looking back, Merle Dixon stepped out into the drizzling rain, slamming the door behind him.


	18. Chapter 18

Merle Dixon was almost to his "escape" truck when he heard the low purr of a well-tuned engine over the gentle patter of the diminishing rain. He fell back against the brick wall of a rundown strip mall just as a black SUV pulled into the parking lot. _The Governor. No. Not yet. Too soon for the man to show his lying two-faced self. _Merle figured he'd send his so-called soldiers out scouting first and then he would come in personally for the "kill".

He only saw two men in the vehicle. Looked like Cooper and Rusty. They practically worshipped the Governor. _Fools. _Didn't they know they were on a suicide mission? Merle could take em' out easily. No problem.

They hadn't seen him...he could let them go on about their business but being soft would just kill him in the end and Merle wasn't fuckin' soft. Crouching low, he ran up behind the SUV and smacked the rear door.

"What the fuck was that?" He heard Cooper say. Merle could just hear them if he was still.

"Don't see anything," Rusty answered looking around. Merle stayed down out of sight from the side and rearview mirrors.

"Probably the wind."

"Yeah," said Rusty, glancing nervously in the mirror, a little less sure than his friend. "Should we go look?"

"Do you wanna get out in this fucking rain?" Cooper said, disgusted. "I still think we could've waited until the storm passed."

"Yeah and if you kept your mouth shut about it, the Gov woulda sent someone else instead."

_Fuckin' lazy shits. _Merle thumped the bottom of vehicle with the knife attached to his right arm. _Get outta the damn car._

"I know you heard that, Coop!" Rusty said, opening the door. "I'm gonna have a look."

"Do what ya want."

As soon as the man rounded the rear of the car, Merle pulled him down with his left hand and shoved the knife through the bottom of Rusty's chin, up through his brain. "Sorry, man." Merle said and wondered just how long was it gonna take for the other man to miss his partner? Didn't matter. He didn't have time to wait. He crawled around to the driver's door, jerked it open, yanked the man out and drove the knife through his eye before Cooper could even register his presence. He dragged both bodies to one of the stores with a busted down door and covered them with debris, but not before he divested them of all their weaponry. He wouldn't make it easy for anyone trying to follow him.

Merle jumped in the smooth leather driver's seat of the SUV, grinning as he headed toward his own hidden vehicle. This was a nice ride but too easily recognizable, besides, by himself, it would take too long to unload the supplies he'd been squirreling away since Blondie showed up. He'd enjoy it while he could. Spinning the tires on the wet pavement, he whooped and swiftly sped off.

* * *

Caesar kept watch out the upstairs window while Rowan packed up their still damp clothes along with a few dry ones from the house. Amanda searched the kitchen for foodstuffs but found very little worth salvaging. There was a small greenhouse in the backyard and the remains of a garden. Since the storm had finally subsided to a drizzle, she really wanted to go out there and see if there was anything they could use. She had found a few seed packets in the kitchen drawer. Maybe there were more in the greenhouse.

She stood in the doorway a moment. Wait a minute...did she just see something move?

"Caesar?" she called up the stairs, "I think there's someone out there..."

Caesar took the steps two at a time, leaving Rowan upstairs with quick orders to hide. He stood behind Amanda, looking over her shoulder through the screen door. "Where?"

She pointed across the street about three houses down. "Oh God! Do you think they found us already?"

He didn't see any thing but as a precaution, he pulled her back and locked the door. "Upstairs!" he ordered. Caesar gave each of the women a gun with explicit instructions. "Don't use it if you don't have to. Don't wanna give away our position in case there's more than one." He knelt by the window with own his rifle aimed at the house down the street.

* * *

The walkie talkie crackled in the front seat of the SUV. "Cooper, Report in." _The Governor._

Merle knew it was best to ignore the call but he couldn't, _damn it_. He stomped on the brakes and put the car in park. _Shit! _Picking up the device, he pressed the button and spoke. "Cooper and Rusty are off duty. Permanently, _sir_."

"Merle." He didn't really sound surprised.

"The one and only." Merle smirked.

"I believe there's been a misunderstanding, Merle. Come on in so we can work it out. Woodbury needs you," coaxed the Governor.

_Man must've been a fuckin' politician before all this shit. _"The way I see it, Governor, the only misunderstandin' was you thinkin' you'd get away with hurtin' my daughter."

"Now, Merle, you know I wouldn't do that. Crowley acted on his own. Had a grudge against the girl since she broke his nose."

_Bullshit. He was so goddamn patronizing_._ "_Crowley ain't got the guts to go against me or mine on his own." _Man was a fuckin' coward._

"I know how important family is to you. I feel the same way. Come on in, Merle, and I'll let you handle Crowley's punishment yourself."

_Lyin' bastard._ "Sorry, Gov. Can't do that. Gonna find a safe place for my daughter and Woodbury ain't it."

"I hate to hear that, Merle. I don't know what we'll do without you...what I'll do." There was a short moment of silence then the Governor asked, "What about Martinez and Rowan...are they dead too?"

_Like the man really gives a shit. _"Yep."

"Let me bring the bodies back for a proper funeral."

"The girl...biters got her...nothin' left. Find the others yourself, _sir_." Merle paused a moment and pressed the 'talk' button again, "Oh, and Gov, be sure to watch your back. Dixon, over and out." Then he removed the batteries from the walkie talkie and tossed it all into the backseat.

* * *

They watched the house for an hour and nothing or no one came out. Amanda was really starting to doubt that she'd seen anything at all. She put her hand on Caesar's shoulder. "I'm sorry. It must've been a shadow."

The man just shook his head, his eyes never leaving the window. "Don't be sorry. Maybe it was or maybe they just didn't come back out yet. Can't take any chances this close to Woodbury."

"I'll take watch for a while, Caesar," Rowan offered.

He nodded, "Thanks Ro." He stood up, stretching his arms over his head.

"Ro?" she asked skeptically.

He smiled and tugged her ponytail. "Why not?"

"Whatever," she chuckled and took her place at the window.

Caesar and Amanda went down to the kitchen and she showed him the spread. "We have water chestnuts or cream of celery soup."

"That's it?" he asked, disappointed at his choices, or lack of.

She smiled, hiding something behind her back. "I have one more surprise."

"Give it to me, babe." His stomach grumbled.

"Ta da!" She held out the can for him to examine.

"Cranberry sauce?" He asked frowning. "You've got to be kidding me."

"You don't like it?" Amanda laughed at the look of disappointment on his face. "Well, I guess we can check with the neighbors," she suggested.

He shook his head once, a soft apologetic look on his face. "Nope. Don't wanna split up. Not until Merle gets back. Anyway, I think he has supplies in that truck he's got stashed away."

"Okay, I wanna see if anything's left in the greenhouse." She unlocked the door and stepped out onto the porch.

"Amanda! Wait!" Caesar yelled.

She ran smack into Crowley. Amanda turned to run but the man jerked her backward cutting her scream short with a hand around her throat and a gun to her head.

"Crowley, man, just let her go." Martinez stepped slowly out holding his empty hands up.

Backing away, a wet and bedraggled Crowley pulled Amanda off the porch with him. "You turn traitor, too, Martinez?"

Caesar shook his head. "No, man. Let the girl go before Dixon sees you."

"That sorry piece o' white trash ain't here. Saw 'im leave. That's how I found ya'll. It was fate...right place, right time," he gloated

"You can't win this one, Crowley" Martinez said moving to the edge of the porch. "You know that, don't you?"

"Shut up. I don't give a fuck about you. Governor wants this little bitch back. You just go on back in, Martinez." He eased toward the sidewalk with the struggling woman.

Caesar's eyes looked past Crowley then quickly back. There was a man coming down the street headed their way. He was armed and it wasn't Dixon. _Fuck. Crowley brought backup. _

"Whatcha looking at?" Crowley demanded, craning his neck, trying to get better view while dragging Amanda with him.

"Thought I saw someone," answered Martinez.

"Bullshit."

"Could be Dixon," he lied. This man had two hands. It wasn't Merle Dixon.

"Shut up!" Crowley shouted, aimed his gun and fired but Amanda tripped him up enough that the bullet went wide and missed Caesar by at least foot.

Martinez hit the ground and pulled his own weapon from the back of his pants, trying to get a clear shot at Crowley.

"Drop it!" yelled a lanky man who'd just run into the yard behind Crowley with his own weapon pointed at the man's head.

"Rick!" Amanda cried out and Crowley pressed the barrel of the gun harder into her head. He found her! He actually found her. She knew he would come find her.

"You okay, Mandy?" Rick asked. Tears rolled down her cheeks but she nodded just enough for him to see.

Crowley snorted harshly. "Rick, huh? I knew you were lying, you little bitch. No way you were alone. Told the Gov, as much." He pulled her head back by her hair, exposing her bruised neck even more.

Icy fingers gripped Rick's stomach at the sight of her. She'd been roughed up pretty bad. One eye was swollen shut, her lips were cut and swollen...and that's just what he could see. Oh god, what else did this man do to her? Stay calm, man, he told himself. Hopefully his years of police experience would pay off now as he tried to keep his emotions in check. "Let the woman go and we'll see what we can work out," he said in what he hoped was a calm, authoritative voice that told this asshole he was not fucking around.

"I have what I want," the man just laughed. Then it dawned on him. "She was yours, wasn't she? Tight little pussy. Lucky man...least you were. She's mine now." He slowly licked the side of her face from jaw to forehead. Amanda tried to lean away but he held her tight, his hand painfully tangled up in her hair.

Rick swallowed hard and held his gun steady. He knew the man was baiting him but it didn't help his fury.

"Don't get too close," Crowley warned as he moved toward the street, keeping Amanda between himself and the others as a shield. "I gotta truck just down the street. We're going there nice and slow...ya'll just stay here. Hey, Martinez, tell Dixon, sorry I missed his redneck ass."

"You ain't missed me, here I am." A lean man with a crossbow came around the other side of the house.

"Dixon? You ain't Dixon. Who the fuck...," The realization struck him like a bolt of lightning. "Son of a bitch. Must be the little brother Dixon was always going on about. Just thought ol' Merle was crazy."

When Daryl saw his niece's face, he almost lost control. "Why you sorry mother fuckin'..." and he raised the crossbow level with the man's head.

"You're just a redneck piece o' shit white trash like your brother." Crowley laughed. "Stay back. Both of you. We're going now."

"Where the fuck ya think you're goin' with my niece?"

"He's going to his truck, Daryl." Rick answered, never taking his eyes off the man with the gun to Amanda's head.

"Well, hell," Daryl replied. "I guess we'll be going to his truck, too."

Crowley paused for a second clearly unsure of what to do next. "Wait, you stupid damn hicks. We ain't all going. Martinez, where's the hell is the Governor's whore?"

"The blonde or dark-haired one?" Caesar asked casually.

"The dark-haired one, you asshole."

Martinez shrugged. "Beats the hell outta me, Crowley. Biters must've got her."

"Stupid bitch," he muttered under his breath. "Martinez, go get my truck and bring it back here."

"Why'd I do that, man?"

"Cuz I'll kill you and this bitch."

"You're not gonna kill her. She's your ticket back to Woodbury, practically said so yourself."

"Shut up and get the fucking truck, Martinez!"

"Hoping ya ain't talkin' about that blue F150 parked 'round the corner," The younger Dixon brother said.

Crowley whipped his head in his direction.

"Well, shit, man," Daryl smirked. "Hate to be the one to tell ya, but some redneck piece o' shit white trash cut the battery cable out." And he threw the piece on the ground at the other man's feet.

"Bastard!" Crowley shouted, then aimed his gun and at fired Daryl, who loosed a bolt into his skull at the same time Rick put a bullet in his brain.

Amanda screamed and fell to the ground with Crowley. Daryl ran to catch his niece but Rick reached her first. He scooped her in his arms and she sobbed against his chest. "I knew you would find me, Rick! I knew you and Daryl would find me." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Mandy, hon, I was so scared." Rick held her face, "My God, baby. What did he do to you?" He gently kissed her bruised face and held her close. She winced as Rick gently ran his hands down her back and over her ribs. "Where else are you hurt?"

"I'm okay, now," she murmured into his chest, feeling his heart pound against her cheek.

Moving over stand over his niece and Rick, Daryl aimed his crossbow at Caesar who held his hands up. "Hey man, I'm on your side. I'm a friend of Merle's."

"Merle's alive?" He was half-asking, half-stating it. Almost afraid to hope...he'd finally found out something. Daryl let out a shaky breath. "Well, c'mon then. Tell me where my brother is," he demanded, not lowering his weapon.

"Went to get his truck," Caesar stated carefully, not taking his eyes off the man with the crossbow aimed at his head.

"He's okay, Daryl," Amanda said, slowly standing up with Rick's help. "Caesar, this is Rick, I told you about him last night and that's Daryl, my uncle."

The men nodded at each other. Daryl reluctantly lowered his weapon. She ran into his arms and he caught her with a "oomph" followed by an "ouch."

"I'm so glad you're here." She said kissed him on the cheek.

He carefully hugged and then asked, gesturing with his crossbow to the man he just shot, "Who the fuck was that?"

Amanda looked down at Crowley's lifeless body. "The sick fuck who gave me my new makeover," she waved a hand over her face. She walked over to the corpse and knelt down. "Bastard has something that belongs to me," she said, wrinkling up her nose, she dug around in his front pocket, pulling out her mother-of-pearl handled knife. "This is mine. My daddy gave it me, you disgusting mother fucker." She opened her knife and began stabbing the body in the chest and below the belt.

"Mandy!" Rick started to grab her shoulders.

"Let her go," said Caesar, stepping off the porch. The three men stood around uncomfortably trying not to watch as she mutilated the body.

When the corpse was nothing but an unrecognizable mess, Amanda stood up shakily, taking the rag Daryl handed her, and wiped the bloody knife clean. Rick put a protective arm around her shoulders to steady her. "Let's go home, baby."

Amanda folded the knife and stuck it in her pocket. "We have to wait for Daddy. I found him, Rick. I found him." She wrapped her arms around his waist, finding unbelievable comfort in his presence. She closed her eyes, relaxing in his embrace, knowing exactly what it felt like to be loved and in love.

Rick and Daryl glanced at each other over her head. Just then a large black truck screeched to stop on the sidewalk in front of them. Merle jumped out brandishing his knife attachment on the right and a gun in the left hand. "Daryl?"

"Merle!" Daryl slung his bow onto his back and moved toward his brother. Merle grabbed him into a big bear hug and slapped him heartily on the back.

"Goddamn boy, I think you've growed." Merle exclaimed at his baby brother. Daryl grinned and punched him in the arm. "Shit boy, you have." He laughed rubbing his arm. "Hey Martinez, Did you meet my br..." Merle Dixon stopped mid-sentence. Something wasn't right. Amanda was covered in blood. There was a body on the ground. But that wasn't quite it. Ladybug smiled at him...then she smiled at the man behind her...but it wasn't right. He shook his head slowly. The man had his arms around his baby girl...he fucking knew him...he fucking knew the bastard! The fucking bastard who had his fucking arms around his baby girl was the fucking bastard that fucking cuffed him to the roof in Atlanta...who fucking left him like an animal to die...His own blood pounding so hard in his ears...he could hear anything but the blood pounding in his ears...a red haze blurred his vision...everything...everything except the hated face of the bastard before him. The face that haunted his fucking nightmares.

He pulled out his gun and aimed at the fucking bastard's head. "Ladybug," he said, calming, looking the man in the eye, "Move away."

The smile on Amanda's face fell and she moved herself in front of Rick. "Daddy! What are you doing? Put your gun down!"

Taking a step closer, he yelled, "Now, baby girl!" Vengeance was finally within his reach. _Get outta the fucking way, baby girl!_

What the hell was wrong with her father? Had he lost his mind? Did he think Rick was going to hurt her the way Crowley did? "Daddy! This is..."

"The prick who cuffed me to the roof top in Atlanta." Merle finished the sentence for her.

She couldn't have heard that right. "What?" She kept herself between her daddy and Rick, but turned to look at the man she loved, still not quite comprehending the words her daddy spoke. _No, not Rick. He must be mistaken. _Her eyes pleaded with him to deny the accusation. There was none forthcoming. _Oh God no, Please no!_ Rick had his own gun pointed at Merle by this time. "Is this true, Rick? You left my Daddy on the roof?"

"Mandy..." Rick didn't want to look away from Merle's gun. He couldn't if he wanted to live. He reached a hand toward Amanda in an attempt to comfort her. This is certainly not how he intended for her to find out. He was supposed to tell her calmly, rationally, make her see he had no choice.

She clapped her hands over her mouth and shook her head. _Oh my God! It is true. _Then she launched herself at him, swinging her fists. Rick held his gun up out of the way and didn't fend off her blows. "How could you do that! How could you!" She beat his chest until she ran out of steam. She looked up at the man she thought she knew, thought she loved.

"Mandy, hon," Rick started again, his eyes flicking away from Merle to her for a second, silently pleading with her to listen to reason.

She held her hand up for him to stop. Her uncle stepped forward opening his mouth. "You knew, Daryl? You fucking knew and you didn't tell me, either?"

Daryl sighed heavily. "Possum, things were different back..."

"You don't get to speak to me!" she said and shoved Daryl hard in the chest almost knocking him on his ass. "Unbelievable! What is wrong with you people?"

"Get out of the way, Amanda!" her dad yelled.

Daryl slung his crossbow over his shoulder and rubbed his face with his hands. _What a fuckin' mess_. He should have told Amanda from the beginning. He just wanted to protect her from the ugly truth. He didn't want her to lose hope that her daddy could still be alive. He moved closer to his brother. He had to get him to calm down. He needed to get Merle's fuckin' gun out of Rick's face, away from Amanda. "We looked for you, Merle. Me and Rick, we went back but you was already gone."

"I know little brother," Merle said still keeping an eye on Rick, gun still raised. "What I don't understand is why you didn't shoot this fucker in the face for me when you found out he left me to die."

"Merle, things is different, now." Daryl stepped in front of his brother.

Merle lowered his gun for a moment. "Yeah, like you picked this mother fucker over your own family."

"Ain't never picked no one over you. You was gone. Then walkers attacked the camp..." Daryl shook his head sadly. "There ain't much of us left."

"And now there's gonna be one less." Merle raised his gun again and pulled the hammer back. "Daryl, get the fuck out of the way." He looked past his brother to his daughter and said in a softer voice, "Move, baby girl and let your ol' daddy take care of this sorry mother fucker."

Amanda let out a shaky breath but stood her ground. How could Rick not tell her? Why was Daryl even friends with the man after what he did? Shit...but she couldn't let her daddy kill him. What about Carl and Judith? "I can't let you shoot him, Daddy." Amanda turned to Rick, hurt and betrayal in her eyes. She shook her head sadly and then looked back at her father. "He has two young children without a momma. You can't take their daddy, too."

"Goddamn it, Ladybug!" Merle scowled at her. _Fuck!_

Amanda gently wrapped her hand around her father's left wrist and pushed down until the muzzle pointed at the ground. "I know what I felt like when I thought you might be dead, Daddy. Please don't do that to those little kids." She pleaded softy, a single tear rolled down her bruised and swollen cheek.

"Dixon!" Daryl involuntarily jerked his head around at Caesar. Merle kept his eyes glued on his daughter. "Sorry to interrupt this little family reunion but there's a herd of biters coming this way."

"Everyone get upstairs!" Merle ordered like a man used to being in charge. He ran to his truck, grabbed a large duffle bag and threw it at Rick, before grabbing one for himself.

Daryl pulled his bolt from Crowley's skull, wiped off the blood and reloaded his crossbow before following Amanda into the house. He pushed her through the door with a firm shove to the back.

Merle kicked the door to the house shut behind him and motioned for Rick to lock it before following the rest of the group up the stairs. The two men stared hard at each other. "Be assured," Merle promised, "We ain't through, yet, Officer Friendly."

* * *

**Endless thanks to Siarh for patiently helping me work out the little details and keep all the facts straight.**

**Thanks to all my readers. Your support is much appreciated! P****lease take a moment to leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**Happy reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

Daryl Dixon reached the top of the staircase first, followed by his niece. "End of the hall, on the right!" Caesar called up from behind them. Daryl pushed the door open, skidding to a stop when he came face-to-face with the barrel of a gun.

"Fuck!" he cursed and instinctively grabbed the small hand holding it and twisted it away from his face. The gun clattered to floor and the woman holding it screamed, kicking him hard in the shins and thighs and a little bit too close to the family jewels with what felt like steel-toed boots. " Ow! Shit! Cut it out, you stupid bitch!"

"Rowan!" Amanda shouted right behind Daryl. "Stop! He's with us!"

Caesar tried to get in through the doorway. "Stop, Rowan!"

Daryl tackled the crazed bitch, knocking her flat on her back and landing on top her. He fought her a moment before finally securing her hands above her head. She bucked underneath him. "Get the fuck off me!" she screamed.

Merle came around to stand over them, one eyebrow raised. He smirked. "Whoa, there, Baby Brother! I might've been willing to share if ya asked first and Rowan, darlin', you should've had a knife in his ribs before he got ya this far."

Daryl jumped up quickly and backed away from the young woman he had just flattened. "Goddamn, Merle!" He felt his face turn red hot. _Why the fuck did Merle bring these people with him? Hell, stupid question...I know why he brought this whore, bangin' her for sure. Can't believe she pulled a gun on me...stupid fuckin' bitch. But the spic? _He glanced at Martinez. _That ain't like Merle, trusting his back to a man who ain't kin. _

Merle held his hand out to help Rowan up and she flew at him. "Pig!" He raised his right arm to block her blow. "Ouch! Shit!" she cried out as her arm hit the metal. "Damn it, Merle!" She rubbed her sore arm.

"Sorry, darlin'." He grabbed her as she tried to pass. "Don't leave the room. Bunch of biters out there." She tried to jerk her arm away but he held on tight for just a moment longer and said for her ears only, "Baby, ya know I was only kiddin'...'bout sharing ya with my Daryl, that's unless, of course, you want too..."

"Oh my god!" She shrugged him off and went to stand by Amanda and Caesar.

"You okay?" Amanda asked, putting her arm around the other woman.

Rowan nodded, "You?"

"No. Not really." _The man I love left my daddy cuffed to a roof to die a horrific death. No, I may never be okay. _

"Who's that poor fucker?" Merle asked. They all gathered by the window and looked down at the ghastly sight below them. A mass of walkers had converged on the dead body in the yard, ripping it to shreds.

"Crowley," Martinez answered.

Merle turned on him. "You're fuckin' with me!"

"Sorry, man," he apologized, taking a step back, well out of reach of the knife attached to the man's right arm.

Merle whipped around to glare at the rest little group. "He was mine! Who the fuck killed him!"

Rick and Daryl looked at each other but neither man spoke. Amanda moved to her father's side. "Please take that thing off before someone gets hurt."

"Ladybug, there's a mess biters just outside..."

"And I've seen you put that on in two seconds." She looked up at him, hand on her hips. Eyes tired, sad. "Please, Daddy."

"Shit, Baby Girl," he muttered under his breath but did as he was asked, sliding the blade into a sheath he'd fastened onto the side.

"Daddy, Crowley came while you were gone." Her voice trembled when she spoke. "H-he p-put a g-gun to my head. Rick saved my life. Daryl, too. They both shot him." _Crowley's dead. Rick killed him. Daryl killed him. I made sure he was dead. He can never hurt me again. Walkers are eating him. He's dead. Crowley's dead. _

Merle closed his eyes and exhaled loudly. _Fuck me! They fuckin' killed Crowley without me! FUCK! Ain't that some shit. Got my baby brother and my baby girl but still no fuckin' vengeance...Damnm I need to kill somethin'. _He should thank the man that saved his daughter, he should but he couldn't bring himself to thank the bastard that forced him to cut his own hand off. "Good job, baby bro." He patted Daryl on the shoulder. _Goddamn boy finally grew a pair but how the hell he end up in league with fuckin' Officer Friendly?_

"What's the plan, boss?" Caesar asked the man he'd come to trust with life. Dixon was one tough son of a bitch but above all he was a survivor. Martinez would put his money on him any day.

"I guess we gonna hole up here 'til they pass. Too many to take out." Merle rubbed his chin thoughtfully watching the dead feed off Crowley. "We'll keep a close eye on 'em, keep quiet, no lights." Merle turned to glare pointedly at Rick and said, "They should move on if they can't find nothin' else to eat here."

* * *

Daryl sat by the window, keeping his eye on the walkers and the little group at the same time. What he really wanted to do was get back to the prison. _Get back to the prison_...never thought he'd say that. Now that they had Amanda, he was worried about the ones left behind. They'd be safe if they stayed smart.

What a goddamned mess he walked into. _Found my brother, found my niece and the whole situation is still a big hot pile of steaming shit. Fuck! _He needed to talk to Merle. _Alone. As long as Rick's in the room, Big Brother ain't gonna see much else. How the fuck am I gonna keep Merle from killin' Rick? Possum's right, can't let 'im make Carl and Judith orphans...Merle ain't gonna do that to them kids, knowin' they got no one else. Hafta keep remindin' him lest he forgets. Hell, how the fuck I'm gonna convince him Rick's a good man, a friend..._

"C'mon, honey, let me help you get you some clean clothes." He heard his brother's whore say to Amanda. _Stupid bitch 'bout broke my goddamn shins._ He rubbed the painful limbs absently. _And fuck! Poor Possum, what the hell, she ain't been gone but two days...wish these damn walkers would hurry up and move on._

He watched the two women disappear into the bathroom.

_Gotta get out of this fuckin house...can't hardly breathe...too many people suckin' up the oxygen..._

* * *

The tension in the shrinking bedroom was suffocating and Rowan couldn't stand it in there another minute. She didn't hear everything that had unfolded outside but she understood the gist of it and it was damned ugly. If what she heard was right and Amanda's boyfriend was the one who cuffed Merle to the roof...Fuck! There's no way this could end well. She led the other woman into bathroom and locked the door behind them. _Ah, a room free of raging testosterone..._

"Seems like you're always finding me clothes, Rowan." Amanda sat on the edge of the marble tub looking like a lost kitten that had been run over by a car.

"I don't mind," said the dark-haired woman, sitting beside her. "We girls have to stick together." She put her arm around Amanda's shoulders. "Wanna talk?"

"No. Not yet," Amanda said softly, "but, thanks, I may take you up on that one day."

"Okay," she said helping her remove her boots. Poor girl was black and blue and Rowan knew by her groans that every movement hurt. "Daryl? That's Merle's little brother, right?" He was thin and dirty, not like his brother, at all.

Amanda nodded, stepping out of her bloodied pants, Crowley's blood. She shuddered with disgust and kicked them away.

Rowan tossed the nasty clothes in the hamper to get them out of sight. "He's younger than I thought. Not really what I expected." Seemed kind of skittish. Mean. He certainly didn't have the swagger Merle had.

"Yeah, I think, they're about twelve years apart, something like that." Amanda pulled a tank top on followed by an oversized long-sleeved shirt. "How old are you, Rowan? If you don't mind me asking..."

Rowan smiled. "Of course not. Twenty-five. Why'd you wanna know?"

"Just curious. I thought we were about the same age." _Daddy and Rowan? Really? _

"Is it nice...where we're going?" Rowan asked. "The place you were before."

Amanda kind of snorted. _The prison? Nice? _"Well, its not as pretty as Woodbury, but...I guess...well, I feel safe there." She choked back a sob. _I miss it._

Rowan gently rubbed the other woman's slender shoulders. "Sounds nice," she murmured.

A sharp rap at the door startled them both. "What the hell ya'll doing in there?" Merle's raspy voice was laced with impatience.

"I'm getting dressed, Daddy!" Amanda hissed. They were supposed to be keeping their voices down so as not to attract the attention of the passing herd.

"Well how long's it fuckin' take? And why's it take two of ya?"

"Merle Dixon!" Rowan opened the door just a crack so all he could see was her face, brown eyes leveled at his blue ones, "Your daughter has had a very bad day, two days, so if it takes her a fucking hour to dress you're gonna let her have a fucking hour and have it in peace!" She shut the door in his face and locked it.

He kicking the wall, putting a hole in the sheetrock. "Fuckin' woman."

"Damn it Merle! Shut the fuck up," Daryl whispered harshly.

Merle flipped his brother off and leaned back against the wall, trying really hard to be patient, though it was not one of his stronger virtues, by far.

Finally, Amanda emerged in clean clothes with her hair pulled back from her face. Merle tilted her chin up and looked her in the eyes. He kissed her forehead lightly. "Go sit by Daryl, Ladybug. I'll be there in a minute."

She nodded and moved away from him and just for a second, Amanda's eyes met Rick's. She quickly looked away but not before seeing the pain and sadness in them. _How can I love him?_ _Damn him to hell for making me fall in love with him, knowing what he did to my daddy. _

"C'mon, Possum." Daryl said, patting the empty space beside him.

She walked past her uncle and sat down by Caesar. The man almost cringed at the dangerous look the younger Dixon gave him. Dixon brothers reunited...damn...both fuckers had those same hard cold eyes. They'd make one hell of a formidable team. He'd hate to be on the Dixon shit list.

Martinez watched the man Merle called Officer Friendly, Amanda's man. _Ain't that some messed up shit. _He thought he saw the man's blue eyes narrow when the girl leaned her head against Caesar's own shoulder. _Dumb ass didn't even tell her he chained her father to the roof...probably never expected to see Daddy Dixon again. Telling her would've put the brakes on the relationship before it even got started._ _Poor fucker. Wouldn't want to be in his shoes. Don't know if she'll forgive that shit. I know Merle won't._

"Amanda, honey" Caesar said gently to the young woman dozing against him. "Get up, girl, and get in the bed."

"Ouch," She started to protest but he put his arm around her and carefully stood her up.

"Sorry, babe. Come on. You'll be more comfortable." He helped her to the bed and covered her with a light blanket, receiving unfriendly glares from the other two men in the room. He shrugged them off and returned to his "place" wishing Merle would hurry back.

* * *

Rowan took a step out of the bathroom but Merle put a hand on her hip and pushed her back in, locking the door behind them.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed holding on to his strong arms to keep from falling.

"How's my daughter?" he asked.

"Shit!" Rowan let go of his arms and snapped at him. "Mr. Di-I mean Merle. How do you think she is?"

"Did she say anything to you?"

"No," she sighed. "We barely know each other, why would she?"

"Cuz you're a girl and that's what they do...talk about...shit."

Rowan shook her head. "Geez, Merle. You gotta lot to learn about women."

When she tried to go around him, he moved his solid body between her and the door. Then he grinned. "Bet I could teach you a few things, sweetheart," he said and reached out to push a lock of dark hair over her shoulder brushing her neck with his fingers.

"You've got to be kidding," she said incredulously.

"Why?" he pulled her against the growing bulge in his pants to prove that he wasn't.

"Oh my god," she said half-laughing. "You are serious. Merle, there are four people right outside this door."

"Ain't nothin' to joke about, darling," he said with mock seriousness as he nuzzled her neck with his stubbled chin..."and it didn't seem to bother you last night."

"That tickles!" she giggled. "There were only two other people last night and they were asleep." Rowan put her hands on his chest and pushed him away. "I'm not a whore, Merle," she said, her laughter faded away.

"I know that, baby," he said lowering his head to kiss her. "Never thought ya were."

She leaned back further. "Your brother thinks I am," she said solemnly. She could tell by the way he looked at her, like she was dirty or something.

Merle cupped her cheek with his large calloused hand. "Cuz of what I said, about sharing? Darlin', I was teasin'. He knows that." He smirked. "Sides, my baby brother wouldn't know a whore if she bit 'im in the ass." He reached around and grabbed hers and she squealed.

"Hush, damn it!" he growled into the hollow at the base of her neck, nipping the tender skin lightly.

"I can't help it." She wrapped her arms around his head and hitched a leg over his hip.

"I know ways to keep ya quiet, girl and still have fun," he said winking at her as he unbuckled his pants.

* * *

Merle stepped in the bedroom to find all eyes on him. "What?" he asked innocently, moving to stand next to Daryl at the window.

His brother shook his head in disbelief. "Fuck Merle! Really?"

"Really, baby brother, really, " he answered, chuckling and slapping him on the back.

"Get your goddamn nasty hands off me!" Daryl yelped, jerking away from his older brother.

Merle shot Rick a dirty look. "Hand, bro, just got one, now," he said grimly.

"Keep it down you two," Martinez warned.

The Dixon brothers looked at him then went back to looking out the window.

Rick heard soft, almost fearful, cries from Amanda as she began to toss and turn in her sleep. She was having a nightmare. _Shit! _He should be there, holding her, comforting her. He wanted to be there...even if she didn't want him. He couldn't stand it anymore. He rose and headed for the bed but Merle Dixon cut him off with a scathing glare.

"Don't you ever touch my daughter again," he growled knocking him out of the way with his shoulder. He lay down on the bed and slid his stump under Amanda's head, cradling her against his shoulder, whispering soothing words that Rick couldn't hear. Her whimpers subsided as she curled into her father and slipped back into a restful sleep. He should be the one comforting her. Not her father, or, he glanced at the man she called Caesar, not some stranger.

Rick watched as the dark-haired girl, apparently Merle's woman, walked past him to the far side of the bed. Taking off her boots first, she stretched out on the other side of Amanda and rested her hand on the arm Dixon had around his daughter.

Rick didn't say anything but leaned against the wall next to the bedroom door where he had been sitting, waiting for the herd to move on. Daryl gave him an apologetic look.

This wasn't the Merle Dixon that Rick remembered from Atlanta and he'd bet it wasn't the one Mandy remembered either...not from the stories she told or little comments she made back at the prison. Rick didn't trust him. The man was a loose cannon and he sure didn't feel good about letting him in the prison. What about the safety of the others? The safety of his own children? Did Daryl trust him one hundred percent? The group couldn't afford to lose Daryl. They needed him. Rick needed him. The two men had become close friends over the past year and he trusted Daryl with his life and the life of his family...but that didn't mean _shit_ when it came to Merle. Daryl had a blind eye when it came to his older brother. He tried to see the good that was maybe there once. Maybe. Rick didn't know. He only had the coked up version of Merle that was a danger to everyone around him to base his opinion of the man on. If they got out of this alive...when they got out of this alive, he corrected himself, maybe they could work something out...a truce? He snorted out loud. Daryl looked quizzically at him.

Rick went over to stand by the younger Dixon. Hopefully they could talk in relative privacy if they kept their voices low. "We can't take all these people back to the prison. We don't know anything about 'em."

"Whaddya wanna do?"

Rick massaged his temples. What did he want to do? He wanted to take Amanda "home" to the prison and have things back to the way they were. That's what he really wanted to do...but that wasn't gonna happen. "I don't know, Daryl. Guess we have to talk to Merle."

They seem to look to him for orders." He had no delusions that it would go well.

"He's my brother. I'll do it," The hunter said, standing up. "Keep an eye on things."

"Now?"

"Good o' time as any." the man said and went to rouse his older brother from the bed. They stepped out into the hallway and shut the door.

Amanda sat up rubbing her eyes. She watched her daddy and uncle leave the room. Rick was watching her. She felt his gaze and turned to meet it reluctantly. He gave her a half-smile. _Shit_. Rowan started to sit up. "I'm fine, just need to stretch a second." She eased of the bed and went to stand by him knowing that both Rowan and Caesar were watching.

Rick immediately jumped up an offered the chair which she took. He shifted his weight on his feet not sure what to say that wouldn't make things worse. "Mandy, hon..."He rested his hands on the back of the chair. He wanted to touch her but didn't dare.

Her voice was cold. "Where'd Daddy and Daryl go?"

"To talk."

"About what?" She looked up at him with hard blue eyes of the Dixons, her mouth set in a firm line. "Don't lie to me."

He answered hesitantly, "About the man and woman with ya'll," Rick had watched Amanda with them and she seemed to trust them implicitly. Perhaps, because she thought her father did?

"Rowan and Caesar. What about them?" she asked.

"We don't know anything about them. I'm not comfortable bringing them to the prison." There he said it.

"They helped Daddy save my life. They're okay."

"Baby, how can you know that? You've only known them a couple of days."

"Rick, I've known you for over six months and..." She paused and turned away. "Maybe I'm not such good judge of character after all."

Rick closed his eyes and dropped his hands to his sides. He had nothing to say to that.

* * *

**As always, thanks to all my readers. Your support is much appreciated! P****lease take a moment to leave a review and let me know what you think.**


	20. Chapter 20

The night passed quietly. The herd had thinned out enough that Merle Dixon decided they would take out the few remaining stragglers and get the hell outta there. He felt like a sitting duck in that damned house and Daryl said as much as well. They would take the biters out, get in the truck, pick up Rick and Daryl's vehicle, and then head to the prison. Merle stuck his head out the front door and was greeted with a loud gunshot that ricocheted off the door frame. Splinters bit into his cheek. "Fuck!" he hollered, slamming the door.

Daryl was right behind him. "Which direction?"

"Just across the street. Blue house, I think." Merle answered, pulling a sliver of wood out of his face.

"Governor's men," Martinez stated. "Who else could it be?"

"Probably right. Only one he's got left worth a damn is Shupert and he wouldn't 'ave missed." Merle snuck a peek through the curtains.

Martinez looked out the other window. "Want me to take him out, Dixon?"

"Nah," Daryl answered for his brother. "I got 'im." He went back up the stairs followed by Rick. The younger Dixon didn't trust the Martinez himself and he didn't want him out of his sight. He knew Grimes felt the same way and he'd keep an eye on the man while Daryl was taking care of business across the street.

Rick dropped his shoulder against the window frame. "I'll cover you, Daryl."

"Go ahead if you have to but I ain't gonna need it." He half-grinned at his friend. The younger Dixon climbed out one of the bedroom windows and down a tree that brushed up against the house. Rick didn't see him once he hit the ground.

Merle watched from the door. It wouldn't take his brother long. "Martinez, get the women down here."

When everyone was in the kitchen, he opened one of his duffle bags and said "If you need another weapon, take your pick. Make sure you have plenty of ammo."

Rick pulled Amanda's Glock from the waistband at the back of his pants and handed it to her, "Here, Mandy, I found this while we were looking for you."

"Thanks," she said taking it, not meeting his eyes. Her fingers accidentally brushed his and she pulled them back like she'd been burned.

"Come 'ere baby girl. Let me see that thing." Merle gave her gun the once over and not finding it lacking, he handed it back. He wanted to make sure Officer Friendly knew he didn't trust him as far has he could spit and he didn't give a shit what the man thought about him. The man didn't fuckin' trust him to go to the prison. Well, that was too damn bad. He wasn't letting his daughter out of his sight and wherever Daryl was, well that's where he'd find ol' Merle. _Fuckin' asshole._

About fifteen minutes later, Martinez pointed out the window "Dixon, take a look." Daryl was jogging across the street with a few extra weapons in tow. Merle smiled with pride as he watched his brother's return. Daryl stabbed a biter in the eye that was sniffing around the truck, without breaking stride, and gestured that it was all clear.

"Amanda, Rowan, in the truck!" Merle ordered. Daryl ushered the girls into the truck, Possum first, then his brother's whore. Rick and Caesar took out a couple more biters that showed up. They must've been alerted to them by the sound of the earlier gunshot. The younger Dixon slid into the driver's seat while the rest of the men threw the supplies in the back and jumped in as Daryl was speeding off.

"How far to ya truck?" asked Merle, as much as he hated to talk to the bastard who left him for dead.

"On the edge of town, no more than five miles," he replied, looking Dixon in the eye. Taking Merle Dixon and crew back to the prison didn't sit well with Rick. Daryl talked to his brother last night and said Merle trusted them and took full responsibility for the man and woman he traveled with. Maybe Dixon wouldn't do anything to put his daughter in harm's way intentionally but Rick doubted that he'd ever be able to trust the man.

* * *

They reached the truck in short order with Daryl plowing down at least a half-dozen walkers on the way. Rick pulled out the map and they agreed to take separate routes on the way to the prison in case they picked up a follower. Merle didn't think the Governor had any men left that could track them but he sure as hell wouldn't make it easy on 'em. Rick would be in one vehicle and Daryl in the other so the group at the prison would let them in, just in case one truck got there first.

Against Merle and Amanda's wishes, but at Daryl's insistence, Rick would drive the two women in Merle's truck since it was newer and in better shape. He wanted to get his niece to the prison as soon as possible so their resident "doctor" could have a look at her. Merle insisted that Caesar go with them for added protection. The Dixon brothers would take the longer route but wouldn't be too far behind.

Caesar made himself comfortable in the bed of the truck with half the weapons loaded and within reach. Merle threatened them all with a slow and painful death if his daughter didn't arrive safely. He watched the truck as it pulled away hoping his brother was right in trusting Officer Friendly.

* * *

Amanda sat stiffly in between Rowan and Rick. She wanted to be anywhere else but when she suggested that she ride in the back with Caesar she thought her daddy was gonna pop a blood vessel. He very _patiently _told her that the middle of the truck was the safest place for her to be, end of discussion, and he sternly warned Rowan and Martinez not to let her "sweet talk" either one of them into switching seats.

Rowan looked out the window, appalled at the devastation. She had never been out of Woodbury since the dead started rising and she was starting to wish she was back there.

"Rowan." The man Merle wanted dead, as she'd come to think of him, asked, "Can you tell me about the place ya'll came from?"

"Woodbury? Um...yeah, sure," she answered. Merle told her the man had been a cop and would probably ask lots of questions. He said tell him everything. "What exactly do you want to know?"

"Whatever Dixon said you could tell me."

She smiled. Smart man. "He said I could tell you whatever you wanted to know."

He thought about that a second. "Really?"

Amanda piped up, "Well, why wouldn't he, Rick? Daddy's got nothing to hide."

Rick sighed. This was going to be a long damned ride.

"Well, the town was walled in," Rowan began not giving the man a chance to answer the other woman's questions. "Armed guards on the walls protected the citizens from biters or marauders. There was over seventy people living there before we left. Men, women, children, the elderly. What else? Let's see...groups of men would go out periodically to hunt for supplies for the entire town. We had running water. The Governor made sure we were safe," she trailed off.

"Who's the Governor?"

"He's the man that brought everyone together. He built up the town...started out with only nine people."

Rick was silent for a moment letting that information absorb. Then he said, "Tell me about Merle Dixon. How long have you two been together?"

Amanda raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Rick. His profile was hard and he didn't take his eyes off the road but a moment to meet her stare and raise an eyebrow of his own.

"Together?" Rowan asked, a little unsure what to say. "Um ...well, we've been _together _about...two days."

"Two days?" He almost ran off the road. _Shit! Dixon's trusting this woman he's only known for two days?_

"Hey!" Caesar yelled from the back. "Watch where you're going, man!"

Rowan turned to look past Amanda, facing Rick as she answered his question. "I've known Mr. Dixon, Merle, for a year. I was there when they brought him in. He had almost bled out, was half-starved. The doctor wasn't sure he'd even make it. Most people wouldn't in that shape. He was delirious with fever, dehydration, I guess. But the Governor told Dr. Stevens to do everything she could to save him because that man was a real fighter, a true survivor, and Woodbury needed more men like him." She paused a moment remembering that day. She never would have thought anyone in that condition could have survived. But Merle defied the odds. "When he had healed enough, he taught the men how to use the weapons they'd found. He hunted and supplied Woodbury with fresh meat. He kept us all well-fed and cared for...made sure everyone had what they needed."

"If he had it so good, why'd he leave?"

"He wanted to find his little brother. Everyone in Woodbury knew that. Family was important to him. He talked about Daryl all the time." She looked down at her hands folded in her lap and said softly, "But mainly he left because someone hurt Amanda."

"Who?"

"Crowley. But not on his own. Merle thinks the Governor was behind it."

"For what purpose?" Why in the hell would a place so supposedly idyllic harbor a monster who would beat up a woman?

"I don't know that." She answered truthfully.

Rick looked at her a moment, "You sure about that?"

"Of course, I am..."

"I know why," Amanda said.

* * *

"So tell me, baby brother," Merle started. "How long has that prick been fucking my baby girl? And why the fuck did ya let him?"

_Shit! _Daryl knew the subject would come up sooner or later. He was just hoping it would be way, way later. _Fuck it. _Might as well face it head on. "Merle," he began but then the words got hung up and he didn't know where the hell to go after that.

"I'm listenin'," his brother replied. Daryl could feel his hard stare burning a hole in the side of his head. No way he was looking at him.

"Damn it, Merle. What could I do? She's a grown woman. Ain't no way she gonna listen to me. I tried talkin' to her. Told her it was a bad idea, gettin' involved with Rick. She said I wasn't her daddy and told me to fuck off."

_My baby told Darylina to fuck off. _ He snorted. "Bad idea, huh?" Merle shook his head. "Ya fuckin' pussy! Why didn't ya jus' tell her the fucker cuffed me to a roof to and left me die."

Daryl slammed his hand against the steering wheel. "Cuz she still had hope that her daddy was alive and I wasn't gonna take that away!"

Merle sighed and rubbed his hand over his short hair. _Shit! _How could he be mad at Daryl for that?

Daryl stopped the truck and turned to face is brother. "We came back for you, Merle. Me, Rick, Glenn and T-..."

"I know ya did, bro," he said quietly, staring out the windshield.

_He did?_ "Ya do?" Daryl asked, not sure he understood exactly what his brother was saying. "But, how?"

Merle looked at him, wanted to see his reaction. "Blondie told me."

"Blondie? Ya mean Andrea? She's alive?" Daryl was obviously surprised at that piece of information.

"Found her and took her back to Woodbury. Told me about the farm and ya'll being overrun."

"Hell, Merle! Why didn't you bring her with ya?"

"Why would I? She ain't nothin' to me. She's shacked up with the boss man, the Governor, living high on the hog. Forget about her, little brother. That bitch ain't interested in going nowhere."

_Fuck! _Daryl thought. _They saw her go down. They said they saw her go down._

* * *

Rick was mulling over what Amanda had said about the man called the Governor when they turned down the road that led to the prison. Why did the Governor want to know about their group, how many and where they were? Why'd he have her tortured to find out?

A smile immediately spread across his handsome features when he saw his son at the gate. They didn't recognize the truck. He rolled down the window and stuck his head out. "Carl! Open the gate, son!"

"Dad!" Carl yelled out to him while he and Oscar opened the heavy gate for the truck to roll in. Apparently someone sounded the "alarm" because all the residents came out to greet them.

"Oh my God, Amanda! They found you!" Maggie sobbed as wrapped her in a bear hug but quickly eased up a bit when she felt her wince. "Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Glenn and I looked for you. We really tried."

"I know you did, Maggie," she said patting her friend on the back and giving Glenn a quick hug.

Rick hugged his son. "Any problems, Carl?"

"No sir!" his son reported proudly. "None at all."

"Good. Glad to hear it," he said patting his shoulder. "Come to Daddy, sweet girl." He took Judith from Carol and nuzzled his daughter until she giggled. "How's my baby girl?" he cooed. "Daddy missed you."

"Where's Daryl?" Beth asked, looking around somewhat frantically.

Herschel reached for his youngest daughter but she slipped out his reach. "Beth..."

Her voice rose above the chatter, "Is someone gonna tell me where Daryl is?"

Rick answered, "He's on the way, Beth. He's in another truck...with his brother, Merle."

The name didn't mean much to the Greene family or Oscar but the remaining Atlanta group, Glenn, Carol, and Carl stopped in their tracks.

"Oh Amanda!" Beth said running up to her and taking her hands instead of a hug, much to the other woman's relief. "You found your daddy! That's wonderful!"

Amanda smiled fondly at the girl. "Thanks, sweetie. He found me and yes it is wonderful," she said, shooting icy daggers at Rick.

He chose to ignore it and instead said, "Herschel, Mandy's been hurt pretty bad. Will you please check her out?"

"I'm staying right here to wait Daddy and Daryl," she said stubbornly.

"Mandy..."

"No." She refused to move. "I'm not leaving."

"Daryl and your father wanted to get you here so you can get checked out."

"I don't need to be _checked out_. I don't have anything wrong with me that time won't heal," she said and climbed in the back of the truck with Caesar.

"I guess I'll wait with you," Rowan said.

Beth joined them, "Me too," she said brightly introducing herself to Amanda's new companions.

Rick wanted to stay and wait with Mandy but he needed to attend to his family first... no, that wasn't right. She was a part of his family too...

"Hey, Dad, why don't we all wait for them?" Carl, his unknowing savior, smiled up at his dad.

"Good idea, son." Judith was happily sucking on her hand cuddling against her dad. Her eyelids were drooping and she'd be asleep in no time. Rick didn't want to leave Mandy anyway. She was a part of him now and even if she was angry at him, he was going to wait for her. When she started talking to him again, maybe he could try to explain things. Hopefully, she'd understand. Hopefully, she'd at least listen.

* * *

Thankfully they didn't have long to wait. About thirty minutes later, Beth jumped up screaming, "I see the truck! I see him!" Caesar gave Amanda and Rowan a hand down from the truck bed. Beth had already run to the gate attempting to help Oscar and Carl slide it open faster.

Daryl drove the truck in and was greeted by cheers. "Damn, baby bro, you're a fuckin' hero," said Merle, getting out of the truck receiving a hug from Amanda and a quick kiss on the mouth from Rowan.

He watched in awe as a little blonde tornado threw herself at his younger brother. "I'll be damned," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. Amanda introduced his brother's "girl" as Beth. She looked at him with wide-eyed wonder like he was a fuckin' pirate or something.

Then he met her dad, the one-legged doctor. _Hmph...might get along with the old man, had somethin' in common. _Greene had another daughter, Maggie, pretty girl too, but she had hooked up with that fuckin' Chinaman he remembered from Atlanta. Chinaman remembered him too...looked like he might piss his pants. Merle laughed to himself and sent him a chilling smile that practically had the young man hiding like a pussy behind his woman. Figured. She looked like a spitfire. Then there was Oscar, fuckin' big black bastard, wearing prison pants. Better keep an eye on 'im

Merle vaguely recalled the mousy Carol. Didn't she have an asshole for a husband and a stringy little girl? Carol didn't seem so mousy anymore. She stuck out her hand to shake his and said, "I'm so glad to see you again, Merle."

_Damn_, he wasn't expecting that. He kind of smiled back and shook her slim hand awkwardly with his left one, muttering, "Thank you, same here."

That bastard Grimes was holding a baby girl, cute little booger, too, couldn't be his. The boy, Carl...he'd grown a lot, lost his mom, turned out Officer Friendly was his dad. Wasn't that skinny bitch screwing around with a different asshole cop? _Hafta ask Darylina 'bout it later. _

Daryl had somehow managed to extricate himself from Beth and came around to stand by his niece, concern on his face. "Lookin' pale, Possum. Did Herschel have a look at ya, yet?"

"I'm okay, Daryl. Just tired," she replied pushing her curls back from her face.

"Possum..."

"Back off, Daryl! I said I'm fine."

Merle gave his brother a warning look and put his arm around Amanda. He glanced at Carol and asked, "Think we can get my baby girl somethin' to drink and maybe a bite to eat?"

"Of course," she said. "This way, Merle."

Rick rubbed his little daughter's back as he watched the trio disappear into the prison. He hoped to God that he'd made the right decision.

* * *

_**Thanks to my readers and especially all of my reviewers. Your comments keep this story going and keep the updates coming as fast as I can type!**_

_**As always, a special thanks to my proof-reader and sounding board, Siarh. She makes sure the characters stay "in character" and that I keep the facts straight. If you get a chance, check out her work. "**__**Days of Our Freakin' Camp" is my favorite.**_

_**Happy Reading!**_


	21. Chapter 21

Beth couldn't keep from smiling at dinner. She so was happy to have everyone back, especially Daryl, and she didn't even mind a few new faces at the table though she found Amanda's father, Daryl's brother, truly frightening. She never met anyone like him before and wondered if he was really Daryl's brother but when she watched him, she picked up little mannerisms, such as their smirk, that were alike.

The older Dixon caught Beth looking at him a couple of times today, scared the hell out of her, too, but he just nodded or gave her a little smile. Sometimes he winked. She thought his girlfriend, Rowan, was young and pretty and she certainly didn't seem afraid of the man. She stuck close to him or Amanda and seemed a bit nervous. The other man, Caesar, he was friendly, jumped right in and helped with any of the work that needed to be done. He helped Oscar carry buckets of water from the stream to the prison, always had a smile and never complained about the heat or the hard work. His arms were really big and muscular...nice...but not near as nice as Daryl's.

Beth didn't know what happened to Amanda. No one would talk about it. It looked like someone beat her up. Her whole face was swollen and bruised. Her lip was cut and she only ate a bite or two before excusing herself from the table. She said she was tired and had a headache. Hershel gave her something for the pain and she went to sleep. But she didn't go to sleep upon the perch like she usually did. She took her pillow and blanket to one of the empty cells. Maggie and Caesar tied some sheets to the bars for privacy, like the rest of them had.

_Something happened between Rick and Amanda and I don't know what._ The younger girl thought to herself._ It must've been really bad. They aren't even speaking to each other. I wonder if it has something to do with her dad. The tension between him and Rick is...is...really scary. It's rubbing off on Daryl because he seems extra grumpy. Maybe he's just worried._ Beth smiled at him and he mumbled something with his mouth full that she interpreted as _Good food. Thanks, darlin'. I missed you._

* * *

Daryl could've of sworn someone was trying to play with his feet under the table. He looked up sharply to see Rowan watching him with a questioning look. _Is Merle's fuckin' bitch hittin' on me? Goddamn whore! _Beth was sitting beside the woman, with a sweet smile on her face, and didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary going on. Merle sat on the other side of Rowan eating heartily but not saying much other than to thank Carol and Beth for the delicious meal.

Caesar had helped Carol and Beth in the kitchen and now he was down at the other end of the table deep in discussion with Herschel about who knows what. Daryl thought the man was a little too friendly with everyone and didn't trust him. He'd only been here less than a day and Carol and Beth already seemed smitten by his "charms".

When Amanda excused herself to go lay down, Rick had skipped out early in favor of walking the fence with Carl.

Carol handed the baby girl off to Daryl and started to clear the table. Caesar jumped up to help her out, earning him a rare but lovely smile from the woman.

Daryl bounced Judith on his knee. "You're a natural, little brother," observed Merle, leaning back in his chair with his arm on the back of Rowan's. "You oughtta be makin' some babies of your own, now," he said, glancing toward Beth with a knowing grin. The poor girl turned bright red. Herschel may have even turned a few shades darker but Merle didn't give the man any notice.

"Excuse me," Rowan said, pushing her chair back. "I think I'll see if Carol and Caesar need some help."

"Okay, darlin'," Merle said, swatting her ass. She reached back and cuffed him upside the head. "Bitch." He laughed, reaching for her but she skipped quickly out of the way. He caught the young blonde who had a serious thing for Daryl looking at him with her fork frozen in the air and mouth half-open, so he winked at her and then turned back to Daryl. "So, Baby Brother, how long ya'll been here?"

Beth closed her mouth and almost dropped her fork. She wasn't used to seeing such open displays of affection? Nope, that wasn't the word. Whatever it was called, her dad would disapprove of that type behavior and language at the table. Personally, Beth thought it was...interesting, maybe even amusing.

Herschel cleared his throat, He was obviously not amused with the whole display. "C'mon, Bethie," he said standing up. "I'm sure there's some chores that need to be done before dark."

"But, Daddy, I'm not..." _done eating or watching Daryl play with Judith. _She pouted.

"Now, Beth!" His stern tone brooked no argument. Sullenly she picked up her plate and followed him but not without one last look over her shoulder at the two brothers.

* * *

Merle waited until father and daughter left the room. "Damn boy, don't let that hot little thing slip through your fingers."

Judith pulled at Daryl's hair as he tried to look around her at his brother. "What the hell ya talkin' about?"

"The farmer's youngest daughter, the little blonde who..."

"Ya don't know a damned thing."

Merle laughed. "And here I thought ya done growed up...Shit, boy, she's practically throwin' herself at ya. Hasn't taken her eyes off ya since we got here this mornin'." Merle watched his brother spit the baby's little fist out of his mouth as she grabbed his lips. Then he smiled and added, "Well, except when she was checking me or Martinez out, that is."

"Fuck, Merle! Sounds like you're the one lookin' where ya shouldn't be." Daryl turned the baby around and tried bouncing her on his knee again.

"I just wanted to see what's up with the chick who wants my baby brother to pop her cherry."

Daryl looked quickly around to make sure no one heard what his brother had just said. "Shut the fuck up, Merle! Ya don't know what the hell you're talkin' about. She's just a kid."

Merle snorted. "Kid, my ass! All I'm sayin', Darylina, if ya don't make a move on her someone else is gonna beat ya to that sweet thing."

"Who? You?"

"Hell no," Merle chuckled at his naive little brother. "I mean if she asked me, sure, I'd be happy to oblige," he teased. "But I usually prefer my women to have a little more experience. I was thinkin' Martinez might start sniffin' around. He's closer to her age anyway and women seem to love 'im. He likes "talkin" to them or some stupid shit like that."

"You're fuckin' crazy."

* * *

Daryl took Judith back to Carol and practically ran over Rowan trying to get away from Merle's mocking laughter. "Watch where you're goin', bitch."

She didn't understand why Merle's brother had so much hostility towards her. "What is your problem?"

"Guess it all started when you put a gun in my face," he said, glaring at the slender woman who kicked like a mule.

_Oh, maybe that was it_, Rowan thought. _Probably should apologize. _"Look, Daryl, about yesterday..."

"I think we need to have a little talk," Daryl interrupted, grabbing her upper arm, and yanking her around the corner, out of earshot from the cell block.

She struggled against his strong, painful grip. "Get your hands off of me, you prick!"

Daryl pushed the woman against the wall, making sure to stay clear of her feet. "We need to set some shit straight. I don't care what my brother mighta told you. I don't need or want no favors. Sure as hell not from you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Don't act like you don't know...rubbing your feet all over me under the table." Daryl's voice lowered as he got in her face. "You're my brother's whore and I ain't ever gonna touch ya."

The punch that hit his jaw almost made Daryl's eyes cross. "Stupid bitch!" Guess he should've watched her fists, too.

"Don't you ever call me a whore, _asshole_," Rowan warned, pointing a slim finger just inches from his face. "And let _me _set the record straight. I wasn't playing footsies with you, you redneck idiot. It was your little teenaged girlfriend. I would never touch you. Ever! I can't believe you and Merle are even brothers." She shoved him out of the way and went back to the cell block. She smacked Merle hard on the shoulder as she passed. "You're little brother's a bigger pig than you are."

* * *

Daryl took on guard duty even though he didn't have to. The cell block was too damned crowded for his taste at the moment and he just needed some fresh air. All the fuckin' drama was giving him a headache. He couldn't believe that bullshit Merle was spouting about Beth being after him and then there was that thing with his crazy bitch...Beth was just a sweet kid torn out of a normal life and thrown into hell. The entire group grew close after being run off the farm. She didn't pay him any more attention than she did anyone else. He snorted. Some things never changed. Merle would pick on him 'til the day one of 'em died. Hell, if Merle went first his ghost would probably haunt him. _Asshole!_

The light patter of small feet coming up the stairs met his ears. _Beth? _Couldn't be anyone else. She was wearing soft-soled shoes...the ones on his legs, under the table, were soft...the whore wore boots..._Holy shit!_

"Hey, Daryl," Beth said as she came into sight. Her hair was loose and she was wearing a long gauzy skirt that floated around her legs.

"What ya doing up here. It's late." He scowled at her, starting to realize maybe his brother wasn't completely full of shit. "Herschel will..."

"Daddy's asleep," she said unconcerned. "I'm glad you're back safely. I was so worried."

He shrugged a shoulder. "Weren't nothin'. Only gone two days."

"I know but it felt like forever." She moved beside him, watching down the dark road, together, like they've done before. Then she scooted a little closer until their arms were almost touching. She could have lost him. _What if something happened and I never told him how I felt. What if_...a soft breeze blew her hair across her face, into her mouth. She sputtered it out.

Daryl was watching her, thinking about what Merle had said. _Nah, man was crazy, sober or not. He couldn't be right, could he? _How the hell was he gonna head Beth off, that is, _if_ his brother was right?

_Oh my, he's looking at me, I can feel it, oh my, shoot...just go for it, Beth Greene. He's such a nice man. He'd be too respectful to make the first move. Out of respect for my father. Daddy can be such an old fart sometimes. I'll have to do it. _Her mind was made up. She sighed audibly._ Wish I was taller, like that girl Rowan, then wouldn't have to stand on my toes to reach his lips. I don't want him to think I'm a complete amateur. Jimmy did say I was a good kisser, God rest his soul, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it...but it has been a long time and I am out of practice. Maybe I could sit up on the wall and we'd be face to face..._

Another gust picked her hair up and blew it into Daryl's face. He brushed it off impatiently.

"Sorry," she mumbled. _Shoot, that wasn't cool._

"No problem." _Shit! _He didn't know what to say to her. She was so sweet and young. He didn't want to hurt her feelings. Why in the hell would she want him? Cuz he was the last "single" man standing? _Fuck!_

Beth inched closer so now her sleeve was touching his arm, his gloriously muscled, tanned arm. She inhaled deeply trying to catch his scent... _Mmm...he smells like the outdoors, sunshine and sweat...and... _Something warm brushed against her arm for just a moment and a wave of heat rushed through her body pooling low in her stomach. She opened her eyes wide...his skin had touched hers...his arm touched her arm. _Did he feel it, too? _Beth started to breathe a little faster. "Daryl?" she asked, her voice breathy with anticipation.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, still trying to figure how he was gonna do this. Maybe he should ask Possum...

_Turn around!_ "Daryl!" she said a little too loud, much louder than she intended to.

Startled, he turned to face her. "What?" Beth grabbed his head pulling him down to her lips. He froze as her tongue tried to push its way into his mouth. She was so soft and so warm and his body responded even though his mind was screaming in shock. _Fuckin' asshole was right! _He stiffened as she leaned in to him.

He tried to say something to make her stop, "Beth..." but that only granted her tongue access to his mouth, a mouth that hadn't felt lips or tongue against it for a very long time. _Fuck! NO, no, no! Not fuck! _Her slender arms slid around his neck as she relaxed into to his traitorous body. _Goddamn it, she feels good, too fuckin' good, not like a kid but a woman soft in all the right places. _Daryl rested his hands on her small hips...they had a nice curve...fit right into his...he dipped his tongue into her mouth for a quick taste and felt her gasp in his mouth._ She tastes like fresh mint leaves. She smelled so fresh, natural, like the outdoors, the soil in the garden she tended._ His hand went to her head, tangled itself in her silky hair, and he took control of the kiss...he had to...had to slow it down a bit...stop it before one of them hyperventilated and he was afraid it was gonna be him.

"Whoaaaaa...sorry bro...if I knowed you was busy...I would waited," Merle chuckled and grinned at them both with that shit-eatin' grin that was so fuckin' shitty. Daryl wanted to knock it right off his face.

Beth blushed hotly but glared at Merle and didn't make a move away from Daryl's side, his arm was still around her.

"Goddamn it, Merle, what ya sneakin' up on me for?"

"Hell, boy, neither one of ya'll would o' heard a tank comin'!" He shook his head and warned his brother with a laugh. "If ya ain't careful, her daddy's gonna cut your dick off, boy!"

Daryl gently removed the young girl's hands from his body feeling her warmth go with them. "Beth darlin', go back to the cell block."

Beth looked up at him sharply. That almost sounded like an order. She put her hands on her hips and started to tell him she wasn't going anywhere until she felt like it but her rescuer came by way of a raspy, somewhat amused voice.

"Why don't you be a gentleman and walk the lady back, baby brother." Merle winked at Beth. "I'll keep watch...until you're done."

Beth brightened and took Daryl's hand, "C'mon," she said, practically dragging him down the stairs, followed by the sound of the elder Dixon's laughter.

_This is not the way to the cell block. _"Beth," he protested. She pulled him into a dark alcove and immediately latched on to him again. Her hands grabbed his shoulders and she pulled herself up, her mouth assaulting his, and damn it, he didn't want to stop her though every fiber of his being shouted that he should. His heart threatened to pound right out of his chest.

Daryl's hands went to her hips and he lifted her up for a better angle. She stood on his boots and pressed herself against him. He could feel her burning heat against his lower stomach and his body tightened immediately in response to hers.

_Finally_, Beth sighed into his mouth as she felt the growing bulge in his pants press against her. _Oh Lord, finally. _She thrust her tongue into his mouth and pushed herself into him. She wanted, no needed, to be closer...

His hands slipped past the elastic waistband of the long skirt she wore and gripped her ass through lacey panties. "_Shit," _he muttered into her sweet hot mouth as her eager hands found their way inside his shirt. When they found his straining erection, through jeans that had suddenly become way too tight, he almost came undone. "Oh, shit," he groaned as he jerked against her. "Fuck, darlin...slow down," he panted in her hair, pulling her hands away.

"I don't want to," she protested.

"If ya don't, sweetheart, this is goin' to be over 'fore it starts."

Not backing down, she kissed the hollow spot at the base of his throat. "I knew you wanted me as much as I wanted you."

_Hell, I didn't even know it 'til now..._

She claimed his mouth again, her sweet tongue sweeping across the roof of it sending violent shudders through his body. "Oh, Daryl...I knew you were the one. I just knew it," she gasped trying to unbuckle his pants with shaking hands. "I'm so glad I waited."

_Waited? _Merle's voice reverberated inside his head. _I just want to see what's up with the chick who wants my baby brother to pop her cherry. Fuck! She's just a kid...only seventeen. _She had his pants undone and started pushing them down, reaching for his cock..."Beth, Beth, honey, Beth!" He grabbed her hands again. _How the hell did she get them loose? He didn't remember letting them go._

"What's wrong?"

He lifted her chin. "Beth..." _How do you ask a girl if she's done it before? _"Shit...Beth, darlin' are you...have you..." _Fuck! he was screwin' it up. Just ask, ya pussy, _Merle's voice taunted him.

"What, Daryl?" She leaned in, sucking on his earlobe.

He fuckin' forgot what he was saying...until her slim hand worked its way back down and inside his pants again..._Fuck! _He moaned as she circled him with a small hand that was surprisingly strong and began stroking him. "Fuck!" he said, out loud this time. He gently, but firmly, pulled her hand away and tried to catch his breath.

"Am I doing something wrong?"

_Oh God, no. Doin' it just right. Too damn right._ "No darlin'...no...Beth...are ya...a virgin?"

She stopped and looked at him, slightly puzzled. "Does it matter?"

Daryl sighed. "Yes. No. Shit! I mean...are you, Beth?"

"Yes" she said in a small voice. "Is it that obvious?" Her face fell and she looked like she would cry any minute.

A slight quiver in her lower lip tugged at his heart. _Fuck, when did I become such a pussy? _Daryl shook his head. "Beth darlin', you don't want me..."

"I do..." she insisted.

"No, ya don't. I ain't good enough..."

She interrupted, "Daryl, that's not true."

He held both of her small hands in his making sure they didn't tempt him again or that she didn't run off before he had his say. "Ya don't know shit about me, sweetheart."

Unshed tears filled her eyes. "You don't like me?"

"No, that ain't what I said." _Why do women always hafta twist the words around? "_I'm...me and Merle had a really...rough life..."

"I don't care." She tried to pull her hands free. She wanted to touch him, to prove to him that he was wrong, that he was worthy of being loved.

He held her hands tight. "And I'm pretty messed up, broken, ain't fit to be loved by a sweet thing like you."

"Daryl please...It doesn't matter, your past. I don't care about any of that. Whatever happened then made you who you are. That's what matters...who you are now."

"Beth," he shook his head. "Stop it, darlin'."

"No, Daryl Dixon. You stop it!" She pulled her hands free and held his face firmly between them, making sure he looked her in the eyes when she spoke. "I've known you for almost a year and I see is a good, strong man..."

"Ya don't know..."

"Hush..." She put her fingers to his lips and rose on her toes to follow up with a tender kiss. "Please let me finish. I see a good, strong man who cares about people, who takes care of his new 'family'." He dropped his eyes. "Look at me. When I see you play with Judith or teach Carl something new...that man isn't broken." She pressed her lips to his again. "That's the man I want to have my virginity."

"Beth..." He tried but he knew he didn't have a chance out-talking her.

"Don't tell me I'm too young or that I have plenty of time. You don't know that...nobody does...and I don't want to die a virgin, Daryl."

He sighed heavily and leaned his forehead against hers. "Beth, darlin', I ain't gonna take your virginity against a wall in some dark corner. And I ain't gonna get you pregnant. Herschel'll kill us both." _And he'll cut my dick off._

She pulled a condom out of her bra and handed it to him. "I got that part covered."

_Holy fuckin' shit!_ Just when he thought he had his body under control, she done gone and pulled a rubber out from between those cute little pert tits that he hadn't even touched yet. _Jesus H. Christ_, he was gonna die right on the spot of heart failure...with a hard on. "Shit, girl, been plannin' this long?" he barely choked out.

"You have no idea." She answered with a smile and watched as he buckled his pants and stuck the condom in his shirt pocket. "Daryl?"

He looked down at her flushed face, blonde hair messy, from his hands and he thought she had to be the prettiest girl he'd ever seen...he cupped her cheeks and kissed her sweetly. "Not against a wall, darlin. You deserve better than that for ya first time."

She nodded, a bit sadly but took the hand Daryl offered and walked back to the cell block with him.

* * *

Merle just heard Daryl as his brother reached the top of the stairs to the guard tower. _Damn_...he was rusty. _Should have heard him coming before now._ "Pussy."

"What?" Daryl asked, standing beside his older brother.

"If you're back this soon ya either didn't do it or didn't do right by the girl. Either way makes ya a pussy."

"Pft." Daryl snorted

"That's what I figured." Merle rubbed his stump. "Why didn't ya? The girl wanted it."

"She's a virgin."

"Well, no shit, Darylina. Why else would she be after your pussy ass?"

Daryl shook his head. His brother would never understand. "Shut up, Merle."

Merle just laughed at him.

"Damn it, ya fuckin' asshole. I ain't gonna fuck her against the wall her first time."

"Pussy." It was still too fuckin' easy to push Daryl's buttons. As his older brother, Merle couldn't help but take advantage of that fact.

"Damn it, Merle. Cut it out."

"Ya like her?" he asked in all seriousness.

"Don't know. Never thought of her in that way 'til tonight." Not until his body let him know in no uncertain terms that she wasn't a kid anymore. "She felt so fuckin' good."

"How long's it been since ya got laid?"

Daryl just looked at his brother.

"Well? Spit it out, boy."

"Before all this shit." Daryl gestured to the few walkers that roamed along the fence line in front of the prison.

"Holy shit!" Merle couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Goddamn it, boy. No wonder you're so tensed up. Go rub one out so ya can think straight." He shook his head, muttering, "Unfuckin' believable."

His brother's words rolled over him like a freight train. "Get the hell outta here, bro. Go fuck ya own whore and leave me the hell alone. Ain't in the mood for ya shit tonight."

Merle put his stump on Daryl's shoulder. "Now wait a minute, little brother, I know ya got some issues so I'm gonna let that 'whore' crack slide for now." _But I better not hear ya say it again. "_I'm tryin' to help ya out. Just caught me off guard, that's all." He rubbed his forehead with his left hand. "Well, ya must feel somethin' for the girl if ya wanna treat her right."

"Fine, whatever."

"Cut the attitude, Darylina. I'm gonna give ya some brotherly advice on women so just shut up an' listen."

_Advice on women from his brother? _"Pft."

Merle smacked Daryl in the head. "Shut the fuck up and listen! Girls mature faster than us and that little blonde beauty is already more mature than you'll ever be. You wanna do right by her?"

Daryl rubbed his sore head. Okay, so maybe Merle was only half full of shit. "Yes?"

"You askin' me or tellin' me?"

_Did he fuckin' hafta make everythin' so hard?_ "Yes, I wanna do right by her" _If I actually do it, I wanna do it right._

Merle nodded. "Good. Then talk to her daddy."

"What?" Daryl sputtered, "Ya gotta fuckin' be kiddin' me."

"No, man, I ain't! Unless you gonna run off with her ya gotta live with the old man so I suggest ya let your intentions be known."

"What...that I may or may not take his baby girl's virginity?" _Yeah, that'll go over real well with her bible-thumping daddy._

Merle smirked. "I wouldn't use those exact words, Bro. Be a little more subtle, if ya can."

"Fuck you, asshole."

Merle chuckled and patted his brother on the back. "Missed ya, Darylina."

* * *

**This chapter is for a lovely reader who has been bouncing in her seat ever so long just waiting for Beth to finally make her move. I do hope it lived up to your expectations.**

**Thank you for staying with me this far! I appreciate all of my wonderful readers. Please take a moment to leave a review in the box below and let me know what you think.**

**Happy reading!**


	22. Chapter 22

It had been almost two weeks since they had returned to the prison and Amanda scarcely left her cell...only to eat and use the bathroom. She spoke little to anyone except Merle or Rowan. All other attempts to talk to her were met with a short response or a regretful, palpable silence. The bruises on her face and arms faded to a sickly yellow green and the cut on her lip was almost healed. There was a heartrending sadness about her that wasn't present before. Rick was worried but felt completely powerless to help her, seeing as she still wasn't speaking to him more than she had to. It had reached the point that he was going to talk to her father and try to make him see that Amanda needed to get out of that dark cell. When he finally set his mind to confronting Merle, he, by chance or luck, found the man's girlfriend instead, alone in the kitchen. He might have a better chance talking to her than Dixon. At least she didn't look at him like she wanted him dead.

Rowan had taken to sleeping on the top bunk or on a mattress on the floor in Amanda's cell, right by her bed. Rick knew Mandy was having nightmares. They all knew it for there wasn't much privacy to be had in the prison. For whatever reason, Rowan was able to calm her down and help her get back to sleep. If it was particularly bad night, Merle would sit outside of his daughter's cell until dawn, instead of his usual place on the perch with his brother.

Rick watched Rowan wipe down the counters while humming to herself. He was surprised at how easily the little group welcomed her and Martinez. Both former Woodbury residents were "unobtrusive" and did their fair share of chores. Martinez actually did more than his share. The energetic man was never idle and he never complained or slacked off. Carol really seemed to enjoy his company. The rare sound of her laughter was becoming almost commonplace since his arrival. It was nice to see her so happy and relaxed but Rick still couldn't trust the man or Rowan. It wasn't in him. To keep his "family" safe, he couldn't afford to let his guard down even when the others around him did.

Rick cleared his throat. The young woman turned around and greeted him with an uncertain smile. He nodded and said, "You gotta minute, Rowan? I wanna talk to you about Amanda."

* * *

Rowan and Amanda lay on a blanket in the prison yard soaking up the sun. Rick had convinced the dark-haired girl that fresh air and sunshine would help Amanda heal faster, both mentally and physically. Those small dimly lit cells with dank concrete walls were depressing enough on their own. She wasn't sure what to think when the ex-cop approached her but he appeared genuinely concerned with Amanda's welfare. She knew Merle would shit a brick if he found out about the conversation so she didn't mention it to him. Rick was right, of course. They couldn't let her waste away in the cell. He really did seem to care for her and no matter what Merle said. Rowan was starting to think the man wasn't a total monster after all.

Both women wore shorts, tank tops, and expensive sunglasses, courtesy of Glenn and Maggie. Beth had stopped by earlier and they kicked off their shoes and gladly let the teenager paint their toenails with baby pink polish that she had produced from her magic backpack that held all things girly. Carol also received a mini-pedicure from the young blonde. They didn't bother with their fingernails knowing that the polish wouldn't last more than a minute once they went back to doing chores. Beth even tried to paint Judith's tiny nails but the baby girl kept curling her fat little toes, making it impossible. Judith giggled along with the rest of them. They sounded like a bunch of schoolgirls. Questioning looks from Merle and Daryl only fueled the raucous laughter. Frankly, the women frightened Carl. He thought there must be alcohol involved. What else would make them cackle like idiots?

It was nice to see Amanda out of the cell block. She looked so thin and pale now, worse than when she first showed up at the prison. Rick smiled as she played with his baby. If he couldn't take care of her directly, this was the next best thing. She laughed and tickled Judith but when she caught him watching her, the smile slowly faded from her face and she looked away. He went to walk the fence alone. He didn't want to ruin her day with his presence.

* * *

Amanda had filled Rowan in briefly on the situation between herself and Rick and Daryl. It was nice to have someone, another woman her age, to talk to. She would just have to ignore the fact that said woman, who was a year younger than she was, was sleeping with her daddy. She shuddered at the thought, but she couldn't deny that her daddy was happier than she'd ever seen him and so far, he had managed not to kill Rick or make matters worse than they already were. The two men had stayed out of each other's way and though it was tense at times, it was still nice to have everyone she loved together...everyone. She didn't want to admit that she loved Rick even now. She missed him but she couldn't bring herself to go to him yet. She wanted to hate him but those damned feelings of affection wouldn't go away. Make no mistake, she was still pissed at him, and hurt, and really, really pissed but when she caught herself watching him with Carl or Judith she couldn't help soften just a tiny bit...and then she'd see her daddy's stump and the feelings rushed back in, overwhelming her with confusion and pain. Men sucked.

Rowan didn't have much to say about Daryl, brushing him off as a major asshole with no hope for recovery. Amanda laughed and told her that was just classic Dixon attitude. It was genetic, at least in the male side of the family.

"Whatever," the woman replied, not even trying to hide her dislike for Amanda's uncle. "You know," Rowan said, turning on her side to face the other woman. "I understand stand why you're mad at your boyfriend..."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"You have every right to be." _Hell, I'm mad at him, too. Imagine what Merle would be like with two hands. _A deliciously warm feeling spread through her body down to her pink toenails that had nothing to do with the heat of the Georgia sun. "He did what he felt he had to do to protect you. Plain and simple."

Amanda didn't want to hear what Rowan was telling her. "How's that protecting me? Not telling me. He was just protecting himself." _From me. _

Rowan shook her head. "He didn't want you to worry about Merle."

She disagreed with that assumption. "I was already worried about Daddy."

"Don't you think you would have worried more if you knew he'd been left behind chained on a rooftop?"

_Maybe_..._of course. _She would have been convinced he was dead. "Still, Rowan, he should have told me and how could he have left him chained to a roof in the first place?"

I can't answer that second part. You'll have to ask him or even Glenn. Merle said he was there, too." Rowan went on, "I agree, he should have told you, but that doesn't change things, Amanda."

"So I'm supposed to just forgive him?"

"I didn't say that either. Maybe you should listen to his side of the story." Rowan remembered what Merle was like when he first arrived at Woodbury. She heard about his withdrawal symptoms, his violent behaviors...coupled with his traumatic injuries, it was a miracle he survived...a miracle the Governor actually saw something more in him in that harrowing condition.

Amanda snorted a very unladylike but _Dixonesque _snort.

"What I'm trying to say is, deep down, all men are like cavemen. This whole end of the world bullshit just brings it out in force. The strongest and smartest survive. Classic survival of the fittest. Men, most of them, are bigger and stronger than we are. They feel the need to protect us, the _'weak', _and make decisions that _they _think are in our best interest, right or not. Sometimes, they forget we can think for ourselves. I'm all for them physically protecting me but some decisions are mine and mine alone to make. Men can't separate that in their un-evolved male brains." _Even your dumbass idiot redneck uncle was just trying to protect you._

"Is that why you're with Daddy? So he can protect you?" Amanda asked.

Rowan thought about the question and laid back down. "Partially. I suppose it was that, at first. I mean, my best chance of staying alive was sticking with Merle Dixon. That, and he always fascinated me. He is a strong, clever man, Amanda. Most people miss that because he's such an asshole. Don't sell him short."

Amanda pondered what her newfound friend had said. Survival of the fittest. Basically all the advances women had made over the past hundred years went out the window overnight with the arrival of the apocalypse. She couldn't swallow all of Rowan's reasoning but it did make sense in a Neanderthal-like sort of way. Still, men sucked.

* * *

The men took turns digging a ditch just inside the fence to divert the path of a nearby stream so they wouldn't have to leave the relative security of the prison for water. It was long hard work but all of them chipped in knowing that not having to leave the protection of the fences for that necessity would increase their safety tenfold.

Merle Dixon took a few minutes off from overseeing the back-breaking labor to join Rowan and his daughter. It wasn't that he minded hard work. He actually enjoyed it, helped to clear his mind. His ideas on the project were practical and well thought out. He wanted to make sure the crew didn't fuck it up. He hopped in the hole a few times, wanting to help, wanting to speed the progress up, but digging with one hand was damn near impossible. The pressure on his stump was too painful as he tried to guide the shovel. _Fuck that bastard Grimes!_ Merle would try to rig something up for his missing hand, other than his knife, so he wouldn't feel useless. Maybe the one-legged doctor would have some good ideas.

The two girls wouldn't let him sit on the blanket with them because he was so dirty. He grumbled but sat on the cool grass beside Rowan, wiping the sweat from his face with his shirt. He drank the bottle of water she offered. "Thanks, darlin'," he said as he drained it.

Merle had planned to catch a few winks because he had stayed up with Amanda last night but he was transfixed by Rowan's newly painted toenails. _Pink_. _Damn that was hot. _She was lookin' real good_. _Her long lean body was stretched out like a cat in the sun, lots of bare skin, arms, legs, shoulders. He suddenly realized that he had never actually 'seen' her naked. Each time they were together it had been dark. It was always dark in the prison. Even if they slipped away during the day, all the really good private places were dark. He knew what every inch of her body felt like but seeing her...He had to touch her, had to see his hand on her skin. He ran his fingers down her leg and captured a small foot. Bringing it to his mouth, he kissed each toe.

She giggled, trying to pull her foot away. "Stop it, Merle! That tickles."

"Hello? I'm here...Daddy," Amanda interrupted his musings. "Ugh. That's disgusting!"

"Sorry, baby girl, couldn't help myself." Then he asked Rowan, "How about you and me go for a walk, darlin'?" His voice was low and husky, hand still on her ankle.

"A walk? Yeah, right." Amanda snorted.

"Hey, take a nap, Ladybug." He chuckled. "I'm jus' havin' a little fun here with my woman." He crawled toward Rowan, leaning in for a kiss.

"Eww, Merle! You're sweaty and nasty. Get off!"

Undaunted, he wrapped the woman in an allover hug and kissed her loudly on the lips. She squealed and twisted, trying to get out of his dirty embrace. "You bastard!" she said, finally breaking free and rolling away, breathless and laughing.

Merle grinned at her. "Why don't you come and help me...clean up."

She chuckled at his determination. "You can't fool me, Merle Dixon. I know all your tricks!"

"Nah, darlin', this ol' dog still has a few you ain't seen." Then he added, "C'mon, I'll show them to ya."

"I think I'm going to be sick," Amanda interjected. Merle looked at his daughter quickly and then realized she was joking, sort of.

"Don't you have work to be done?" asked Rowan.

"They can do without an ol' man like me for a few minutes."

Rowan raised a brow, and replied, "Just a few minutes, huh, not sure that's worth my time."

"Damn, girl! Ain't you a cold bitch," he said shaking his head and smiling. This time, he leaned in close and stole a soft kiss without touching anything but her lips. "I'll show you later what an ol' man can do, baby doll," he promised and whispered a little something more in her ear. He grinned, pleased with the blush that spread across her cheeks and the shocked look in her pretty brown eyes. He patted his daughter on the head and he went back to where Daryl, Martinez, and Oscar were digging the ditch.

Amanda watched her dark-haired friend as her wide eyes followed Merle back to the worksite. She still didn't fully understand the attraction between the two but she supposed the woman was good for her daddy and he was good for her.

"Rowan, do you ever wish you were back in Woodbury?"

"No," she answered without hesitation. "I didn't realize how confined it was there. I like this." She gestured to the wide expanse of the prison grounds. "Lots of breathing room. It's safe here but I can still see the outside world. You couldn't see past the walls back in Woodbury." Rowan slipped her shoes on. "I want to see if Carol needs help. You want to come?"

"No. I'll stay out here and watch Judith. I don't want to wake her, yet." The baby had been sleeping in a playpen, covered with a light blanket to keep the sun off of her tender skin. Amanda lay back on the blanket and dozed off.

* * *

Daryl watched the ladies from where he was digging. They were fuckin' crazy, smilin' and laughin, and painting their goddamn nails and acting like it wasn't the end of the world! Even the level-headed Carol was actin' like she didn't have a lick of sense. He would never understand women. He caught Glenn swiping a hand full nail polish bottles on their last supply run together. The Korean claimed that Maggie wanted to give it to Beth for a birthday present.

His brother's bitch had a calendar that she brought with her. Been keeping track of the days since the dead started walking. She wrote down everyone's birthday. Rick and Carl estimated Judith's, it was close to Lori's so they made that date her "official" birthday. Merle even went along with that stupid ass shit, told her his birthday and Daryl's too. Guess he didn't wanna make his whore mad enough not to give 'im any. He never thought he'd see they day his brother was pussy-whipped. _Guess the end-of-the-world shit will do that to a man._

Beth's birthday had already passed, just a month ago. He was damn thankful he didn't know it then. He would of have had to come up with a gift. And, shit, now she was all of eighteen and that didn't make things any less complicated for him. It was easy to say she was too young at seventeen. Eighteen, he'd have to think on that. He was over twenty fuckin' years older than her. Oh hell, he was old enough to be her dad...but at least he sure as hell wasn't as old as her dad.

He tried avoiding the girl so he could think about what he was going to do but damn if she wasn't quiet as a mouse when she wanted to be. She always seemed to catch up with him before he could make a fast getaway. And then she would touch him or kiss him and he'd kiss her back because he didn't know what else to do. He'd really rather kiss her than talk about _it_. She was "gentle" with him, now, not all hands like the first time when she threw herself at him. She was sweet like she was the one convincing him to let her in his pants which was in fact exactly what she was doing.

Daryl hated to admit that Merle was right. He was a fuckin' pussy. He didn't have the balls to even look at Herschel right now much less speak to him. He swore the old man was giving him the evil eye and it scared the shit out of him. His goddamn dick shriveled up and hid whenever the old man was near. Merle was fuckin' right about everything.

* * *

_Hands tore at her clothes, ripping, shredding fabric and flesh, blinding terror, agonizing pain, complete and utter helplessness, fear clutching her heart, a hand tightening around her throat squeezing, not merciful enough to take her life, too cruel for that, squeezing just enough to still her struggles, the other hand digging, invading, tearing at her. making her cry out in pain, helplessness, failure._

"Mandy, honey."

_Don't touch me...she was tied down, paralyzed, immobile. Someone was shaking her. __Cruel, mocking, laughter drowned out the sound of her screams. Why won't anyone help me! Daddy! Help me! What's wrong with you Daddy? Why won't you help me! Where's your hands? Oh dear God, Daddy! No!_

"Mandy! Wake up, hon!" Amanda's eyes flew open to see Rick's face hovering mere inches from hers, his hands on her shoulders.

"Oh my God, Rick! I was, I thought..." He wrapped his arms around her and let her sob against his chest.

He stroked her hair, whispering softly, "Shhh, baby, it's okay. It was just a bad dream. You're here safe, with us, at the prison."

Judith's cries brought her back, back to the prison yard. She must have fallen asleep. _Oh my God_. She gulped and pulled away from his arms, muttering "Sorry."

He picked up his baby and sat on the blanket beside her. "Please don't push me away, Mandy." Judith climbed off his lap and happily crawled around the blanket then over to the playpen where she pulled herself up.

Amanda didn't say anything. She curled her feet under her legs and sighed deeply, a faraway look in her eyes.

"I'm here for you, when, you're ready to talk."

"I don't know, Rick," she said, still shaken from the images that had just assaulted her brain. _I'm not ready, yet._

He wanted to hold her in his arms and beg her to move into his cell, like they talked about the night before she left for the run. He wanted to hold her while she slept, keep the nightmares away. This frail, pale woman was just a shadow of his Mandy. He wanted to help her find her way back and it was killing him that she wouldn't let him. He covered her hand with his...she looked at it then up at him, her blues were faded, full of pain, fear, and maybe betrayal? He hated that he was cause of that. But she didn't pull her hand away. She let him touch her. He half-hoped she would scream at him, hit him, just do something to show that her fire was still burning.

"Get the fuck away from my daughter!" Merle charged at Rick but held his temper when the baby girl, Judith, crawled toward him. "Fuck!" he said, not getting out of the way fast enough as she latched onto his pants leg, babbling.

Rick tensed. The man was too close to his baby.

Judith stretched her little hands toward the angry bull of a man. Rick's heart stopped. The older Dixon bent to pick her up. Rick held his breath. "Now little one, I'm thinking your daddy's bout to piss hisself with ya climbin' up ol' Merle like a little monkey." Judith giggled and slapped playfully at his right arm which was attempting to hold her steady.

"Stop it, Daddy."

"Ain't doing nothing, Ladybug," he protested to his own daughter as Judith leaned over to gnaw on the prosthetic cover. "Hey, little booger, that thing's nasty," he said pulling her away and propping her on his opposite hip.

Rick stood up. "I'll take her now," he said firmly, reaching for his daughter and receiving no opposition from Merle except for a glare. He visibly relaxed once his baby was safe in his arms.

"He's not a monster Rick." Amanda looked up at him, shielding her eyes from the sun. "He wouldn't hurt her."

"Ya think I'd hurt a baby, Grimes?" Merle cocked his head, looking at the other man, the one who cuffed him to a rooftop to die, exposed to the elements and flesh-eating walkers. And Officer Friendly thought he was the monster?

"Not thinking anything, Dixon, 'cept it's her dinner time," he said and headed off with a nod towards Amanda. "You know where to find me, Mandy, when you're ready."

"Fuck off, ya prick!" Merle called after him, "And stay away from _my _baby girl!"

"Daddy!"

"What?"

"Please, stop it."

"I'm just trying to take care of ya, Ladybug."

"I don't need you to do that," she said wearily.

"Of course you do."

"Daddy, I haven't even seen you since I was sixteen. You didn't bother to show up the last summer I came to Georgia. Uncle Daryl picked me up at the airport and he dropped me off when it was time to go home. That wasn't even the first time you weren't there. What were you doing that was more important than seeing your daughter?" Amanda stared at him, hands on her hips.

Merle looked away. He couldn't face her cold blue gaze. He didn't remember much from those days. He'd been into the drugs way too deep. "Now, Ladybug, I ain't..."

"Never mind. It doesn't matter because I've been taking care of myself since then." She picked up the blanket, shook of the grass and folded it, sticking it under her arm. She slipped her feet into her shoes, not bothering to tie them. "I love you, Daddy, I really do," she said, kissing his cheek, "but let me fight my own battles."

With a lump in his throat, Merle Dixon watched his daughter walk away, knowing damn well that every fuckin' word she said was true.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**


	23. Chapter 23

"Get up, Possum." A harsh whisper disturbed her sleep. "Let's go huntin'." Daryl tried not to wake Rowan, who was sleeping on the top bunk.

"Go away," his niece mumbled, pulling the cover over her head. "Don't wanna go."

Daryl lifted the corner up, and whispered in her ear, "I need you."

She rolled away from him, facing the wall. "Bullshit. You don't need anyone, said so yourself."

"C'mon, Amanda!"

"I said get lost, Daryl!"

"Would you two at least shut up until sunrise?" asked Rowan, grumpily.

"Shit, I need talk to you," he said loudly, shining his flashlight in Amanda's face.

"If it's about Atlanta..." she said covering her eyes. "Get that light outta my face!

"Damn it!" Rowan climbed down from the bunk with her pillow and blanket. "If you're here," she snapped at Daryl, "then it must be safe for me to sleep on your perch." She stomped off.

Daryl waited until he heard her bare feet on the steps then he turned back to Amanda. "No...it's about Beth."

She was immediately wide awake. "Did you?"

"What?"

"You know," she said.

With a huff, he pulled the blanket off of her bed. "Shut up and get dressed I'll meet ya outside."

* * *

Daryl refused to say a word until they were deep in the woods away from the prison. He shot a few squirrels just to cover his tracks.

"Okay, Daryl, talk!" she said, catching up to him. Her strength was coming back now that she was getting out of the cell and moving around but she wasn't quite ready for the marathon of keeping up with her uncle.

He looked like he wanted to change his mind about talking but Amanda was relentless, like a dog with a bone. If he knew her like he thought he did, she would hound him until he caved in. So he spit it out, "Beth wants me to..." Not as easy to say out loud as he thought. "She wants me to...you know..." he shuffled his feet and looked anywhere but at his niece.

"I do?" she asked innocently, knowing full well what he was going to say. She just wanted to hear him say it.

"Fuck, Possum!" he cursed in frustration. Women were supposed to be intuitive, weren't they? Did he have to spell it out for her?

"Beth wants to you to fuck what, Uncle Daryl?" his niece asked, unable to hold back the giggles.

Daryl looked up and caught the amusement in her face. "Shit, you're as bad as Merle!"

She laughed. "I'm sorry, really. I couldn't help it. Must be my Dixon blood. Please, go on, Uncle Daryl," she said, biting her lip to stop the giggles that were bubbling up.

"Bitch," he muttered and inhaled deeply, needing a little more oxygen to get his nerve up. "Yeah, she wants me to f-, er have sex with her...for the first time."

She put her arm around his waist and gave him a little hug. "How sweet Daryl. I didn't know you were still a virgin. You picked a very nice girl to pop your cherry."

He twisted out of her embrace. "Goddamn it, Amanda! Do ya have to be so thick? I ain't a virgin, she is!"

Amanda was laughing so hard she had to sit down.

Daryl looked at her and shook his head. "Possum, ya just ain't right, crazy bitch." He laughed in spite of himself. It was nice seeing her laugh again even if it was at his expense. "Already knew, didn't ya?

She nodded, restraining her laughter enough to apologize. "I'm sorry, Uncle Daryl. I really am but you should have seen your face."

"How long?" He chewed on the end of his thumb.

Amanda wiped the tears of mirth away from her eyes. "A month or so, I guess."

"A fuckin' month and ya didn't say shit to me!" Daryl kicked at a tree in frustration.

She shrugged. "Wasn't my place to tell you."

He whirled around, running his hands through his hair. "Well, goddamn...Is there anyone who don't know?"

"Judith and Carl? Maybe Herschel, but I think he suspects it."

Daryl looked ready to punch something, hard. He was pissed. "Fuckin' hell. This group is fuckin' crazy!"

Her uncle was pretty pissed, maybe she should have been a little easier with him. "Calm down, Daryl."

"Don't like everyone knowin' my business," he mumbled, sitting down on a log beside her.

"Too late. Just make the best of it," she said, patting his knee.

"Fuck," he said, laying his crossbow on the other side. "So what do I do?"

Amanda shrugged. "Fuck her."

"What the..." He couldn't believe he heard that right. When did she start talking like that?

She nudged his arm with hers, making him look at her. "Why not?"

"She's just a kid."

Amanda snorted. "No she's not, not anymore. Carl's not even a kid anymore...well may just until he hits puberty but this world changed all of us. Everything is different now."

"I don't know, Possum." Daryl rested his head in his hands.

She couldn't believe she was asking her _uncle _this. "Do you not want to?"

"Ain't what I said," he muttered, really not wanting to go down this path with his niece.

"Either you do or you don't."

"Ain't that simple, Possum."

"Yes, Daryl, it is. She doesn't want to die a virgin. She chose you for the honor. So what's the problem?"

He didn't say anything...he didn't know, never had to make that kind of decision...all the girls he fucked before hadn't been virgins for a long time. With them, it was just sex, nothing more. This couldn't be just sex...not with Beth. She would want a relationship and he didn't know if he was ready for that.

Amanda pushed herself up off his shoulder. "Don't make her wait too long while you decide. You may have competition. Caesar's younger and hotter..."

He looked at her hard. He hadn't thought about Caesar. _Fuck. _"Shut up, I'm tryin' to think."

"Stop thinking so hard. A girl should be able to choose who she wants to be with her first time. For reasons beyond my understanding, Beth chose you. At least give her that much." She gave him a peck on the cheek, then asked, "Ready to go back?"

He rose, slinging his crossbow over his shoulder. "What about Herschel?" He offered a hand to help her up.

She smiled to herself. Finally, the heart of his problem. "So that's the real issue, is it? Scared of him?"

"Hell yeah. I ain't stupid. He may only have one leg but I've seen him shoot." Daryl took the lead back to the prison, bagging a few more squirrels on the way.

* * *

Merle rolled away from Rowan and onto his back as the sunlight began to filter in through the small windows that lined the top of the prison walls. Damn, he was getting old. His muscles were sore, his bones ached and he would have liked to stay in bed all day, not even to fuck. He'd be happy for a little extra sleep. But, as always there was work to be done.

It had been a nice surprise when the young woman crawled onto his mattress before sunrise. He heard Daryl and Ladybug slip out but he couldn't bring himself to see what they were up to. Hunting most likely. Baby Brother pretty much had a one-track mind.

Rowan snuggled against him and he guessed she must've had trouble going back to sleep because after a few minutes, he woke again to her hand in his pants. Naturally, his body reacted instantly. He wasn't so damned old that he couldn't get it up. He knew she didn't like fuckin' where others could hear but she started this and he sure as hell wouldn't pass on it, no matter how many aches and pains he had this morning.

He rolled on top of her and she pulled the blanket over their heads. She pushed her own sweats and panties down and he slid smoothly into her slick heat. Her arms went around him, stroking him from shoulder to ass...nice and comfortable. They moved together, slow and easy. She felt so damn good.

Merle propped on his elbows wishing there was enough light to see the look on her face. He imagined her watching him and smiling, eyes soft, lips parted. Rowan cupped his face, bringing his mouth down to hers. Yeah, her lips were parted. She pressed her delicious hot mouth to his, running her tongue over his lips, darting inside to tease his with a sweet loving kiss.

Her hips moved faster and he knew she was getting close. He could feel the familiar signs, her breath quickening, hips urgently pressing into his. She bent her knees and spread them wider to allow his thrusts to sink as far as her pussy would allow. Her hands gripped his arms, nails digging into his skin. He slid his hand between their bodies, down to where they were joined and he felt her breath catch in her chest as he found her clit, rubbing it gently...just enough..._Fuck! _She tightened, squeezing, arching against him, sucking him in deeper. She bit down on his shoulder, trying not to make any noise, as he pumped hard and silent until he finally came. He collapsed on top of her. Her legs fell limply to the side and she wrapped her arms around him flattening her palms against his lower back. He kissed her neck, the only place he could reach without moving until he could slide off enough to take his weight from her chest so she could breathe. She cuddled up against him and fell asleep in his arms.

If he didn't know any better Merle Dixon would have thought he was...pussy-whipped. _Ain't no way in hell_. No bitch could tame him. He brushed the hair from Rowan's forehead. He'd only been with her...how long...must be at least a month now. _Fuck, maybe waking up to the same woman everyday ain't so bad. _That is, if you had the right woman...

* * *

Carl was waiting at the gate when Daryl and Amanda returned from their morning hunt. "Hey, Daryl! Hey, Possum!"

He ducked away, laughing, when the woman swung a string of dead squirrels at him. "Don't call me that, you little brat!"

Daryl snatched the game away from her. "Cut that shit out, Possum! Don't mess up dinner."

"Need some help?" the boy asked, eager, as always.

She reached out a hand and ruffled his hair playfully. "Thanks, Carl, but I'm pretty sure it's my turn."

Both man and boy looked at Amanda, speechless and wide-eyed with shock. Her distaste for cleaning the daily catch was legendary in the prison. Her uncle hadn't asked her to help since her return and she had never, ever volunteered for the duty.

"That's okay, Amanda," her uncle said warily. "Ain't got that much anyway."

"No, I want to help. Take a break Carl. Go play with your sister."

Carl looked at Amanda like she was crazy but went off with only a couple of backward glances unless she changed her mind.

Her uncle wasn't buying her willingness to help out. "What's up?"

"I want to talk to you."

He started skinning the first squirrel. "Already did."

She continued, "About Atlanta."

_Fuck._ "Okay, whatcha want to know?" He didn't look up from his work. He sure as hell didn't wanna talk about it but he owed her that much.

"Tell me what really happened?" She picked up a dead squirrel and turned it on its back, reaching for her knife.

Daryl sighed heavily, pausing only a moment before grabbing the squirrel from her hand and started on it himself. "Ain't for sure, just know what I heard from Rick and Glenn. A group of 'em, mostly dead now, went to the city get supplies. Your daddy was one of 'em. Guess he took a stash or found some shit there but he was high as a kite and out of control. Rick...that's where they picked 'im up, took Merle down and cuffed 'im to the roof. T-Dog, ain't with us no more, dropped the key down a drain and left your daddy cuffed to a piece of metal. T chained the door to the roof shut. They was overrun, had to leave in a hurry." He tossed the clean squirrel in his hand to the pile by her feet.

"Next mornin', me, Rick, T-Dog and Glenn went back for 'im. Cut the chain with bolt cutters but Merle weren't there. Done cut off his own fuckin' hand." Daryl shook his head and paused for a moment. The image of his brother's severed hand still hit him like a punch in gut. "Tried to find 'im, followed 'is trail, saw where he even cauterized the damn thing...Your daddy still took out more walkers than I could count, one-handed and bleeding...I lost 'is trail." He still felt guilt over that. He was a damn good tracker but Merle was better. Taught him everything he knew. "Then the camp at the quarry was overrun and we had to leave. Didn't know where to start looking after that."

* * *

Amanda and Beth watched Judith while Carol and Rowan prepared the evening meal. The little girl was quite a handful now that she was trying to walk.

"Amanda?" Beth asked a little hesitantly as they watched the baby play with the stuffed toy Daryl had brought back for her. She gnawed on it, squealed at it, and tossed it through the air crawling to retrieve it again.

"Yeah," she answered absently, recalling the words her uncle has said about her Daddy. She wasn't surprised by his behavior, not really, drugs did that to a person. Still, they shouldn't have left him with no way to defend himself. Did they have a choice if they wanted to survive themselves? She had so many unanswered questions.

"Amanda?" Beth's voice yanked her out of her thoughts, making her realize she was ignoring the girl.

"Sorry, Beth. What were you saying?"

The blonde girl looked at her with somewhat shy smile. "I told Daryl."

Amanda met her gaze. "I know."

"He seemed okay with it at the time but I think he's avoiding me." Beth watched Judith crawl over to Amanda, throwing the toy at her legs.

_Probably is, the big chicken._ "Why do you think that, Beth?"

She sounded sad. "He's always on his way somewhere or not to be found at all. Why would he avoid me?"

Amanda shrugged and held the toy for Judith to take. "Nervous, I guess...It can be a lot of pressure on a man."

"You think so?" The young woman hadn't thought of it that way.

"Maybe. He's kind of shy around women, in case you didn't notice," she smiled, reassuring her friend. Then she brought up the important question. "What does your dad think about this?"

"Pft...he's an old fossil, Amanda." The younger girl rolled her eyes. "Why would I talk to him about sex? He probably doesn't even remember it."

Amanda was not going to argue that point with the teenager. "You two have always been close."

"He's just going to say I'm too young or tell me to wait for the right man, which Daryl is but I'm sure Daddy won't think so. He probably thinks he's too old for me but look at your dad and Rowan. He's waaay older than she is and they seem happy."

Amanda didn't want to think about that too much either but there was no denying that fact. "Did you talk to your sister, Maggie?"

"She's always with Glenn. Anyway, I can't talk to her like I can to you."

Amanda wasn't giving up. "You should try."

Beth just shrugged. "Do you think Daryl's a virgin too?"

"What?" Amanda was glad she wasn't holding Judith when Beth threw that question out. She probably would have dropped the baby.

The young woman went on. "Maybe that's why he's so hesitant. I know I told you that I wanted someone who knows what they're doing but that's okay if he doesn't. We can work it out together." Beth smiled and Amanda could almost see the wheels spinning in her head.

"Beth, honey, I don't know a thing about Daryl's sex life." _Thank goodness, but I do know he's not a virgin. _She kept her mouth shut about her opinion on the matter...wasn't her place. She smirked. She'd love to be a fly on the wall if Beth decided to broach that subject with her uncle.

"I know he wants me, Amanda." Amanda raised her brows, hearing that. Beth had her full attention. "I mean the way he kissed me and touched me...I could tell," she said dreamily, like a girl with her head in the clouds.

"Excuse me...slow down, girl. He kissed you?" _And touched you? Oh my God, how much did I miss hiding away in my cell?_

"I didn't tell you? No matter. I had to make the first move but he kissed me back and he put his hands...you know...on me." The girl's blue eyes were wide with the implied meaning of his actions.

"No!" Amanda's brain was having a bit of trouble processing that piece of information. _Oh my God! He didn't!?_

"On my...behind," she whispered conspiratorially.

_Whew. Not where I thought. When did I get such a dirty mind?_ "Okay..."

"And he was...hard, really hard." Beth blushed when she said it.

_Daryl, Daryl, Daryl, you dog!_ Amanda chuckled. "Sounds like he's interested to me sweetie."

"You think so?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, I do. But, I think he has held back, out of respect for your daddy." That's what she said but she really meant out of fear.

"Oh pooh, Amanda. Daddy's gonna ruin this for me, isn't he?" She stomped her foot then snatched Judith's hand right before the little girl shoved a bug in her mouth.

"Now Beth..."

The pout was evident in her voice, even though Amanda could see it plainly on her face. "I won't let him. I'll talk to Daddy and tell him it's my choice and I'll have sex with whoever I want. He has no say in the matter." She picked up the baby and balanced her on her hip, wiping her grubby little hands on her shirt.

_Shit!_ "No! No, Beth. You can't do that. It..."

She interrupted, "Well, why not?"

"Listen, please. You don't want to make Daryl...how do I put this...feel like less than a man. He has to face your daddy everyday, hon, and he's not going to go behind his back." _At least, I don't think he will._

"Oh," she said thoughtfully, considering this information. "Well then, Daryl can just tell him that he is going to be with me and I will tell Daddy that's what I want...problem solved." She smiled.

_Oh, fucking hell, how did I get myself into this?_ "Beth, sweetie. Let Daryl handle it by himself. It's a man thing. I'll talk to him if you want." _What the fuck did I just say?_

"Would you? Oh thank you, Amanda!" Beth hugged her. "You are definitely my BFF!"

* * *

Daryl relieved Glenn and Maggie from watch duty and was enjoying the solitude of a quiet night. The moon was full and the stars were bright. A perfect night for sleeping outside. He just might do that when his turn was done. Beats sleeping next to Merle, especially when his bitch joined him.

The sound of soft footsteps assaulted his ears. _Fuck, not tonight_. _One night alone, was that too much to ask for?_

Amanda joined him at the top of the tower. "How about some company?" she asked, putting an arm around his waist and leaning into his shoulder.

"Gotta choice?" He tried to sound gruff and grouchy but he was happy to see his niece up and around. He was glad she was finally getting out more. The sun and the exercise made her look so much better than when she was holed up in the cell. He was worried about her, hell everyone was. He was afraid she would never come out again.

"Nope."

"Figures," he said, laying his arm across her shoulders and giving a light squeeze. "How ya feelin'?"

"Okay I guess. Can't sleep."

He kissed the side of her head. "If ya want, go grab a sleeping bag and you can sleep here while I'm on watch."

"Thank," she said. "I love you, Uncle Daryl."

"Don't start that shit, brat." He smiled, gently pushing her away.

She laughed softly. "Can't help it, you big bully." She playfully punched him in the side.

"Don't start nothin' ya can't finish," he warned, pulling her in a tight hug.

She stilled. "Do you think Rick had no other choice?"

"Fuck, Possum, I don't know," he started. He wished they could put this shit behind them but he knew it wasn't gonna be easy. Nothing ever was. "Like I said before, I wasn't there. They said he beat the shit outta T-Dog and put a gun to his head. Did you ask Merle about it?"

"No. He only said Rick cuffed him like an animal and left him to die. Daddy doesn't talk about it."

"Did ya ask Rick?"

"No. I can't talk to him."

"You need to, Possum."

"I thought you didn't want me to be with him."

Her uncle shrugged. "Grimes cares for ya. He barely held his shit together when ya didn't come back." _I barely held mine together. _He sighed. "The man wanted to tell ya about Atlanta but I told him not to," he admitted ruefully, putting the blame on his own shoulders.

Amanda looked at him hard. "Why would you do that?"

"'Cause I didn't want to see ya hurtin' like that over your daddy. Thought I was doing the right thing. Guess not."

Rowan's words echoed in her head_. He did what he felt he had to do to protect you. Plain and simple. _It didn't feel so plain and simple. It felt complicated. She didn't say anything to that, just hugged him.

"Sorry, baby girl, guess I messed everythin' up."

"You were just trying to protect me," she said. It was nice not being totally mad at Daryl anymore. She didn't realize how much she missed his surly company. She sort of got where he was coming from but doubted that she could ever completely understand. "Hey Daryl?" she asked.

"Yeah, Possum."

"You better talk to Herschel, before Beth does."

"What the hell?" That pissed off look he had in the woods earlier, when he realized the whole group knew about him and Beth, was back

She smiled up at him. "The girl is getting impatient so if you don't hurry up and do something, she will."

"Fuck it all! What the hell is wrong with all you women?"

"We have needs..."

"Shut the fuck up!" He pointed a finger at her. "You're not helpin'."

"Just talk to Herschel or the two of you can go to him together, you know, to explain the situation."

"Get. Out. Now."

Amanda knew she overstayed her welcome and skipped off before he came after her. She couldn't help smiling. Daryl was so easy to tease. It was fun, too. She shouldn't get so tickled at him but she did. She was still in her own little amused world when she ran into Rick. He caught her by the upper arms. "Hey, be careful, hon."

"Oh, uh, sorry," she said. His steel blue eyes were mesmerizing in the moonlight. She couldn't pull her gaze away.

Rick loosened his grip but didn't let go of her arms. "You okay?"

"I think so," she answered quietly.

He smiled.

_God, the man was so beautiful when he smiled_.

"Are you heading back to the cell block?"

She nodded.

He let his hands slide down her arms to take her hands in his. She didn't pull them away. He was afraid to say anything, afraid she'd run away. Her clear blue eyes reflected the moonlight and he thought he caught a glimpse of a smile in them.

"I guess I should go." She looked at her hands but left them in his larger ones. His hands felt...safe. _I'm not ready for this, am I?_ She swallowed.

His grip tightened just a little, just enough. "Let me walk you back, Mandy."

"No, that's okay. It's not that far," she said softly, her voice almost cracking.

He dipped his head down to catch her eye again. "I want to."

She looked at him and nodded. He let go of one of her hands but held firmly on to the other one. He walked with her to her cell and lifted her captured hand to his lips, lightly kissing her fingertips. "Goodnight, Mandy."

She watched Rick leave. Smiling to herself, she let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

Her daddy's raspy voice interrupted her thoughts. "What the fuck was that all about?"

"Shit, Daddy, you scared me." She didn't have the energy to deal with him right now. She sank down on the bed.

"I asked you a question, girl," her daddy growled.

She really wasn't up for this. "Goodnight, Daddy."

"Amanda!"

"I said goodnight!" She got up and closed the cell door in his face.

* * *

Merle stormed out of the prison after Rick. _If that goddamn prick thinks he's gonna touch my daughter again... _

"Merle!" Rowan ran to catch up to him, grabbing his arm. He jerked loose and kept heading in the direction of the guard tower. He assumed that was where the mother fucker was going. When he saw that bastard looking at Ladybug like that...then kiss her hand..._Fuck_...the blooded pounded in his head so hard he literally saw red.

"Merle, please stop!"

He turned around so fast, she ran into him. "Get back to the fuckin' cellblock, woman." His voice was cold and hard.

"No," she said shakily, not backing down.

"Then stay the hell outta my way."

She stepped in front of him. "Please don't do this Merle." she begged.

"Whaddya think I'm gonna do?"

"Kill Grimes."

His laughter was chilling, sending shivers down her spine. "I ain't gonna kill 'im, darlin'...just gonna beat him so he wishes he was dead."

"Merle, honey, you can't."

"Watch me, baby doll."

"Amanda will never forgive you. She loves him."

He grabbed her arm and she yelped in pain. He loosened his grip a bit. "Did she tell ya that?"

"Not in so many words."

He snorted.

"Merle, she does. I know by the way she talks about him. She was in love with him before you ever found her."

_Fuck. The man deceived her. How can she still love him? _He was squeezing Rowan's arm again.

"Ouch!' She winced. "That hurts, Merle."

He dropped his hand to his side. "Fuck, sugar. How do I do nothin'? I gotta look at the fucker everyday and play nice. It's fuckin' eatin' away at me. Don't know how much longer I can do it. Don't know if I can stay here."

"I don't want to have to leave here, Merle." Rowan had seen the outside world close-up when she left Woodbury and it scared the hell out of her. Woodbury had been to sheltered and she forgot, maybe she never even really knew the terror and total devastation that waited on the other side of the wall. She'd taken their safety for granted.

"Never said ya had too." _Hell, didn't even invite ya to go._

"I'm not staying without you. If you go, I go." She hugged him and felt him relax a little. He put his arms around her. "Please, baby, wait 'til morning and talk to Amanda." She rubbed his strong back and shoulders. "You're all knotted up. Come in and let me give you a massage."

_Tempting. Woman had strong hands and gave a damn good back rub. _She leaned into him, placing an open-mouth kiss on his strong jaw line, tracing a path to his lips with her tongue. He held the back of her neck angling her head for a hot deep kiss that about took his breath away. "Ya ain't playin' fair, darlin'," he growled in her mouth. He felt her smiling and a slender hand slid down his back to squeeze his ass. "Fuck, girl." He kissed her hard and then pushed himself away.

He had to catch his breath. He looked at the smug smile that spread across her face and shook his head, a half-smile touched his own lips. "I still hate the fucker."

"I know you do, baby." Rowan ran a soft hand over his cheek.

"But I guess I'll let him live another day." He motioned to the cell block entrance. "Get on back. I'm gonna talk to my brother."

She looked at him with uncertainty. "Merle?"

"Ain't gonna do nothin' tonight."

"Okay." Rowan smiled and pressed her lips to his for a slow, lingering kiss. When she was satisfied with the lust in his eyes, she turned on her heel and went back inside. He watched her until she disappeared behind the heavy metal door.

* * *

**Again, thanks to Siarh for her unending patience in proofreading this lengthy chapter. I am forever grateful for your sharp eyes and helpful suggestions.**

**Thanks to all my readers and welcome to my new followers. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**Happy reading!**


	24. Chapter 24

Merle kept watch with Daryl. Not because it was his turn but mainly for the companionship. He sat in an old lawn chair with his ankles crossed and propped on the low wall of the guard tower. The Chinaman and the farmer's older daughter had picked up a few assorted chairs and placed them there. Pretty good idea, he thought, must have been hers.

The brothers were lost in their own thoughts and neither would think a thing if the other didn't speak the entire time. They weren't like bitches, who had to fill the treasured silence with chatter and if you didn't, they'd think you were fuckin' mad at 'em. Rowan wasn't like that. Sure she talked and he sometimes listened but she didn't get mad if he didn't hold up his end of the conversation. Sometimes she'd sit with him and do some minor chores, like mending clothes, peeling vegetables, or writing in that little calendar of hers. Last supply run he picked up a few pens and notebooks for her and she acted like he gave her a goddamn diamond ring! Oh, he wasn't complaining, her thank you was plenty satisfactory for him. In fact, he was trying to decide what to pick up for her next that might result in another blow job.

How the fuck did he get off track, thinking about her? _Shit_. It was Grimes that he had to figure out. What the fuck was he going to do about him? Did his baby girl really love that asshole? _Fuck!_ "Hey, baby brother."

"Hmmmm," Daryl answered absently.

"Ya think Ladybug loves that bastard?"

Daryl turned around. "Fuck, Merle, why ya asking me?

"Rowan said she did. Said if I did anything to that bastard, Amanda ain't ever gonna forgive me."

His damn brother was being led around by his dick by that bitch and Daryl was going have to find a new place to sleep if they didn't find a place besides _his _perch to do it. "Pft. Ya believe every thing ya whore says just 'cause she spreads her legs for ya every time ya get a itch? Ya'll need to find a..."

Merle interrupted. His voice was dangerously low and calm. "Listen carefully, boy, 'cause I ain't sayin' this again. If ya ever fuckin' call my lady a whore again, I'll kick your teeth in."

"Damn Merle. Ya really like 'er?" His brother didn't answer but his eyes were hard and the set of his jaw were all Daryl needed for an answer. "Okay then."

Merle visibly relaxed. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Weren't ya listenin', ya dipshit?" Merle shook his head. _Idiot_. "Ya think my baby girl loves Grimes?"

"Fuck. Merle. Why don't ya just ask her?"

He shrugged. "Not sure she's talkin' to me right now."

"Ain't surprised. Ya can be a real asshole, sometimes."

Merle snorted. _Too true. _He wasn't gonna even try to deny it. "So Darylina, what's up with you and Cherry Pie?"

"Damn it, Merle."

"What, bro?" he asked, grinning innocently.

"That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Ya always gotta be an asshole. Can't be serious for one damn minute."

"I am serious. I wanna know."

"Fuck Merle, ain't nothin' going on."

"Why the hell not?"

"Cuz I ain't good enough for 'er."

"Cut that shit out. This fuckin' apocalypse evens the playin' field out, brother. Hell, you're better off than most. You and me, we're suited for this shit hole because we already lived in one. Think a girl like Rowan woulda gave me a chance before the fuckin' world went to shit? Hell no, baby brother. She woulda crossed the street so she wouldn't have to get too close. Does that bother me? No, 'cause what was before doesn't fuckin' matter no more. Cherry Pie wouldn't have given you the time o' day, nor you her, before all this shit. But the world's changed. Things is different now. She has a better chance of survival stickin' with a redneck piece o' shit like you. So get off your ass, talk to her old man and get yourself laid."

* * *

Amanda still couldn't sleep. She wasn't sure how long she'd been awake. She thought about asking Hershel if he had anything to help her but it was late and she didn't want to wake him. She heard Rowan climb on to the top bunk a little while ago and now she listened to her soft steady breathing. She wondered if the woman wanted to be here or would she rather be sleeping with Merle. She felt a bit guilty keeping them apart but she also relied on Rowan's presence to help her through the bad nights.

Amanda listened as the rest of the group, all except those on watch, settled in for the night, one-by-one. Taking her daddy's advice, Rick had put an extra person on guard duty since she was rescued. The former Woodbury residents, Merle and Caesar, said the Governor would come looking for them eventually. To their advantage, he had no idea where to start plus Merle and Daryl took out his best men.

_Shit. _Amanda threw her arm over her eyes. She would have to talk to her daddy soon. About Rick. About Atlanta. She didn't want to but she'd rather just get it all out in the open and be done with it once and for all. God, she hoped it would be possible. Her daddy was so stubborn and unforgiving. She supposed he had a right to be. She had trouble not thinking about his missing right hand when Rick was around. How could he do such a thing? According to Daryl, he had no choice in cuffing him but not letting him go? Rick didn't have the key, gave it to the man Daddy beat up. Was that the wisest decision? _Shit_. She could spin this mess round and round in her mind and still not come up with answers.

She heard her daddy come into her cell. He checked on her every night before he turned in. He was silent but she was usually awake, just pretending to sleep. She didn't want him to worry. He pulled the covers up over her shoulders, kissed her forehead and whispered _G'night, Ladybug_. Then she heard him whisper something to Rowan and the sound of them kissing. He left as quietly as he came. Merle said he'd spent enough time behind bars that he wasn't putting himself in a cage voluntarily so he slept on the perch with Daryl. Rowan said she wouldn't sleep with him on the perch as long as his brother was there so this was their compromise, unsatisfactory for both parties, but it was what it was.

* * *

It was stuffy in her cell and that didn't make it any easier to sleep so Amanda grabbed her blanket and pillow and decided to take Daryl up on his offer to sleep in the guard tower. She slipped her feet into a pair of sandals and quietly made her way out to the tower. The night air was laced with the scent of distant rain. It had been awhile since it rained at the prison. A late summer shower would be nice. They had sat several rain barrels around the grounds to catch the precipitation. It would be boiled, bottled and stored for future use.

She made her way up her steps looking forward to her uncle's silent yet comforting presence. Hopefully she would have some respite from the nightmares that haunted her dreams and chased away precious sleep. When she reached the top, a dark figured turned toward her. "Daryl?"

"No, it's me," Rick said quietly. "He went to get some sleep."

"Oh, I thought he'd still be here," she said and turned to go. "Sorry."

"Don't be." He noted her blanket and pillow. "Having trouble sleeping?"

She sighed. "Yeah, Uncle Daryl said I could sleep up here while he was on watch."

"Go ahead, Mandy. Don't let me stop you." His expression was soft. Kind. Caring. Not the one of a man who could leave another to die.

Did she really want to stay here? _I don't know if I can fall asleep so close to you. _Her mind was racing and she was more awake then when she left her cell. "That's okay, Rick. I don't want to bother you."

"Mandy, hon. You could never bother me." He gestured to the larger of the two chairs. "I think that one reclines. Lie down. I'll make sure you stay safe."

_Safe? Would she ever feel safe again?_

* * *

Amanda awoke to the rays of the rising sun warming her face. She shot up and then relaxed, remembering where she was... in the guard tower. She actually fell asleep. Rick was still with her. He turned to look at her and smiled. "Morning."

She stretched her arms above her head and felt her back and shoulders pop. "Morning. Guess I slept better than I thought I did." _No nightmares._

"Yes. you did," he said grinning, crystal blue eyes sparkling. "Did you know you snored?"

"Do not."

Rick raised his eyebrows and she threw her pillow at him. He dodged and it went over the side beyond the fence into a walker's head.

"Damn it!" she said, getting up to look over the wall. "You know how hard it is to find a good pillow?"

He chuckled. "I'll find you another one, Mandy."

"One without walker brains on it?"

He nodded and smiled that sexy smile of his. "I'll do my best."

"Thanks." She smiled back at him and said, "but, I don't snore."

"Of course not, hon."

She grabbed her blanket. "I guess I better go in before I'm missed. Daddy will go ballistic." She rolled her eyes. "Rick, who's relieving you?"

"Oscar. He'll be up after breakfast."

"Okay, then." She smiled at him. Again. He wanted to touch her, hug her, kiss her, but he knew he shouldn't push it. At least she was talking to him now...and smiling. She was so beautiful when she smiled.

* * *

Amanda felt good. Better than she had in days, no, weeks. She hummed to herself on the way back to cell block wondering if it from finally sleeping without nightmares or being in Rick's company. Maybe it was both. Either way, she was happy and hoped her daddy wouldn't ruin it with the foul temper she suspected he was in when he discovered her missing from her cell.

"Where the fuck'd ya go?" Her daddy's bellow greeted her as she entered the cellblock.

_Oh, God, not already! _Amanda cringed and went to put her blanket in her cell.

"Fuck, Merle, keep it down!" Daryl said in between bites of powdered eggs and instant grits. "Tryin' ta eat over here."

Judith laughed from her seat on Beth's lap and slung a handful of grits, hitting Merle in the face.

"F-, Sh-, damn it, booger! Keep your food to yourself!" He wiped the mess off his cheek, flicking a little piece back at the girl.

Merle was still standing at the table when Amanda returned. "Where the hell where ya been?" he demanded loudly.

"Daddy, please stop yelling at me." She said sweetly, kissing his cheek, and helped herself to a plate of food. "Got a little something on your cheek, Daddy. Tastes like grits."

He wiped the remaining food from his cheek and sat down. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," she said forking the food into her mouth, hungrily. "This is delicious, Carol."

The older woman beamed a smile at her, pleased to see a bit more of the old Amanda back. "Thanks, sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

Amanda nodded. "I did...in the tower like Daryl suggested."

Daryl looked up from his plate and said with his mouth full, "Don't drag me in the middle of you and your daddy's shit, Possum."

"I wouldn't sleep anywhere else," Oscar said, from the end of the table.

"Wish I'd done it sooner." She smiled down the table at him. "Must have been the fresh air."

"Or lack of metal bars," The big man added.

"Where's Rowan, Daddy?"

Merle was still watching his daughter. "Still sleeping. She wasn't feelin' good. Tired, I reckon."

Oscar cleaned off his plate and Carol took it from him. "I'll take that for you. Go relieve Rick so he can get some breakfast while it's still hot."

"Yes ma'am," he said.

Merle looked at Daryl then at Amanda. "Caesar's not on watch?"

"No," Carol answered, picking up Daryl's empty plate. "He's helping me in the kitchen since Rowan is sick."

Merle silently cursed to himself. _Sneaky fuckin' bastard_. He started to rise but Amanda put her hand on his arm. "Please, Daddy. I didn't have any nightmares last night and I'm feeling really good. Don't ruin it for me."

"Well, just fuck me," he said under his breath, sitting back down.

* * *

"Good morning." Rick greeted the people still left at the table which included Merle, Amanda, Beth, Daryl, Hershel. Caesar brought himself and Rick a plate. Carol sat down beside him.

Rick picked up his baby. "Hey punkin'. How's Daddy's girl?" She cooed and swatted him with sticky hands. "Hold on there, slugger!" He turned her away from him and Beth wiped her hands and face.

"There you go, little one. All clean. Now, give your daddy a kiss. I'm gonna start on the dishes. Anyone who wants to help feel free to join me," Beth said looking over her shoulder as she headed to the kitchen.

Merle kicked Daryl under the table and nodded the direction the young blonde went.

Daryl yelped, "What the hell, Merle?"

Merle shook his head. "Damn it, Darylina, you are too stupid to ever get..." he cut himself off remembering the girl's old man was still at the table. He didn't want to ruin what little chance his baby brother had for getting laid but he just wanted to reach across the table and smack some sense in to the boy.

"Where's Carl?" Rick asked, wiping off the sloppy kiss Judith had planted on his face.

Carol answered, "He wasn't feeling good, still in bed."

Rick started to rise from the table. "I better go check on him."

"Eat, Rick," Hershel urged. "I already checked on him. Just a bit of a cold, I think. Rowan's out too."

"Okay, if you're certain."

Hershel nodded. "Eat and get some sleep too. Carl's on the top bunk in your cell."

"I'll take Judith while you eat, Rick," offered Amanda. Rick smiled at her as he handed his daughter over to her waiting arms. Amanda answered with a smile of her own before putting her hand on her father's shoulder. "C'mon, Daddy, let's go for a walk."

"What?" Merle had been glaring at the bastard and almost didn't hear his daughter. _Walk? Why'd he wanna do that?_ The fucker he wanted to talk to was sitting right here across from him. "Nah, Ladybug, go on ahead, I'll catch up." _Maybe._

"Daddy, now," She gave him her pissy look and he figured he'd be better off facing whatever shit she had first. Grimes could wait. "Please, Daddy."

_Fuck. _"Fine," he said shoving his chair back from the table. "Let me take my plate to Cherry Blossom, first," he said with satisfaction as Daryl spit his powdered milk across the table.

* * *

"Rowan okay?" Amanda asked when Merle caught up to her.

"Yeah, just tired."

Amanda shifted Judith to her other hip. "Keep her up too late?" she teased.

"Shit, girl. That is none of your damn business. But no, she slept in your cell all night. Where were you?"

"And that, dear Daddy, is none of your business." She handed Judith to him. "You hold her awhile. She's heavy."

"Damn it Ladybug!" he complained, taking the Grimes kid. "I'm your daddy and where you spend your night is my business."

Judith whimpered and looked at him with her big brown eyes. "Sorry, booger, ol' Merle didn't mean to scare ya. My baby girl is being a brat."

"Shut up, Daddy."

He was already fuckin' this up. Women were so damn hard to talk to. "Can we start again, Amanda?"

"Only if you don't treat me like a kid."

_Shit. That's how I remember you...how I think of you_. He had trouble getting it through his thick skull that she was grown up. Twenty-six._ Damn_, he missed so much. _"_I'll try. Ain't gonna be easy, though. You're always going to be my baby girl."

She sighed. That was probably the best she could hope for.

"You were with him last night, weren't ya?" His voice was accusing.

_Here we go._ "Yeah, sort of. I slept in the guard tower while he was on watch."

Holding Judith with his damaged right arm, he grabbed Amanda's forearm, forcing her to face him. "How can you be with him?"

She sighed. "I'm not _with him_, not at the moment anyway."

"Ya gonna be?"

"I don't know, Daddy," she answered honestly. "I just don't know."

He dropped his hand from her arm. "Did ya love 'im? Before ya found out what he did?"

"Tell me _exactly_ what he did Daddy."

"Fucking left me to die!" he hissed when he what he really wanted to do was yell but he didn't want to scare the kid.

"Why, Daddy! Why would Rick do that?" The man she knew wasn't that cold and heartless. He was a good man.

"Don't matter. No one deserves to be treated like that."

"Were you high?"

_Fuck! _He gritted his teeth. _Fuck, yeah, _he was high and his recollection was fuzzy but he remembered the face of every goddamn person that was on that roof that day.

Amanda looked him in the eyes and asked again, "Were you high, Daddy?"

"Yeah." Goddamn it, he was. But that was then. Took a fuckin' apocalypse to get him sober and he didn't plan on backsliding.

His daughter looked at him sadly. Tears welled up in her blue eyes.

_Fuck_. Merle turned away from her gaze. Couldn't face the disappointment in her eyes. "Now, answer my question, Amanda. Did ya love 'im?"

"Yeah."

"Seriously, Amanda?" he shook his head. "Ya still love him now?"

She nodded and burst into tears. God help her she still did. "I love him, Daddy and I wanna go to him but I don't think he'll want me anymore."

"What the hell are ya talkin' 'bout?" That was fine by him but he saw the way the mother fucker looked at her. Made his blood boil. Obviously, his baby was hurting. She wouldn't cry over nothing. He taught her better than that. "Why the fuck wouldn't he want ya, Ladybug?" _Goddamn it_, he couldn't believe he was asking that when he shoulda been celebrating.

"Because of what Crowley did to me, Daddy." Her voice was small and full of hurt and it stabbed his heart with slivers of pain and fury. She wiped her tears away with trembling hands. "Why would anyone want me now?"

He pulled his daughter to him with his left arm and held her. Merle Dixon didn't cry but he sure as hell got mad and he wished that fucker was still alive so he could tear him apart, limb by limb. He didn't know what to say. This was so out of his league. He was fighting back his own goddamn tears and Dixons don't fuckin' cry. _Fuck! _He kissed the side of her head and held her while she sobbed on his shoulder. Judith grabbed one of Amanda's curls and shoved it in her mouth.

Amanda stepped back pulling her hair away from the baby. She straightened out her Daddy's shirt and patted the spot damp with her tears. "Sorry, Daddy. Didn't mean to do that_. _Tears ain't never fixed nothin', right?"

"Shit, Baby Girl. I ain't worried about this shirt," he said taking her hand in his. "C'mon this way. There's a place I can put this booger down and we can have a seat."

She followed him to what used to be the basketball court. A few benches still remained against the wall and they picked one out. Father and daughter sat side-by-side. He put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him. They watched Judith pull up on the next bench, babbling to herself, as she made her way to one end and back again, making sure either Merle or Amanda applauded her accomplishment every time.

Amanda had stopped crying but her voice was shaky. "Before I found you. Rick asked me to move into his cell. I know it sounds corny but I was looking forward to waking up in his arms." Judith had crawled over and was standing, holding on to Amanda's leg and she ruffled the baby's sparse hair absently.

Merle sighed and bit his tongue to keep from saying something that would upset her. Anything bouncing around his brain right now regarding that bastard Rick would upset her. _Fuck_. He thought his head might explode from the pressure of keeping it all in. He understood where she was coming from. He preferred the mornings he woke up with Rowan. But Grimes? Couldn't she have found someone else?

She turned on the seat to face him. "Would you answer something for me, Daddy. Honestly?"

"I'll try, Ladybug." He said patting her knee. Judith grabbed his hand and stuck it in her mouth. "Hold on there, lil biter, ya getting some sharp teeth. Don't want you to bite my other hand off."

"Daddy!" Amanda chuckled. "That was awful!"

He snorted. "Couldn't help it, just came out. Can't have a Grimes take my other hand, too."

A tiny sad smile toyed at the corners of Amanda's lips as she watched the baby play with Merle's hand. "Daddy, do you think Rick could still love me, still want to touch me, after what happened?"

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How the hell do I answer that?_ He wished her momma was here. She'd know what to say. That bitch ain't never had a loss for words. He supposed she was gone too, along with all the others who didn't have what it took to survive this shit. He exhaled loudly. "Amanda, I can't answer that. I don't know what the bas-, man would do but if he really loves you he ain't gonna let nothin' get in the way of bein' with ya." _Holy shit!_ That just about killed him. He leaned his head back against the brick wall.

Amanda leaned over and kissed her father on the cheek. "Thank you, Daddy."

He nodded and swallowed, eyes closed.

"I know that was hard to say." She squeezed his hand. "You gonna be alright? Can you talk?"

He shot her a dirty look then grinned.

She grinned back. "Go ahead, get it out of your system before we go back to the cell block."

"Fuckinghellshitdamn cocksuckingsonofabitch motherfuckingbastardfu-"

"Fuck!" Judith said, plain as day, clinging on to Merle's knee, effectively cutting his string of curses short. He pulled her into his lap.

"Oh my God, Daddy!" Amanda covered her mouth. "Her first word is fuck? Oh no! That can't be her first word! Shit! What is Rick gonna say!"

Judith was giggling, pulling on Merle's ear while he was laughing hysterically. "Fuckin' perfect!"

"It's not funny, Daddy!" Amanda insisted. "And quit cussing, damn it!"

"Sure it is, baby girl. Funniest fuckin' thing I heard in a long time!" he said, breathlessly. "I love this little booger!"

"Fuck!" Judith said again, a little louder this time, enjoying the attention of her elders.

Amanda tried not to laugh. She really did but failed miserably. "What are we going to do?"

"Not a goddamn thing," her daddy answered, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Fuckin' priceless."

Her voice rose an octave or two, turning into a whine. "Seriously, Daddy!"

"I am serious, Ladybug." He said, kissing Judith on the cheek, much to the baby's delight. "I'm gonna have to fuckin' play nice with Officer Friendly just so I can be there to see the look on that bastard's face when his baby girl tells him to fuck off."

"Shit! Stop it, Daddy!" she said, punching the arm that wasn't around the baby. "Shit! Oh no, Judith, don't say that either."

* * *

_**Thank you for reading! Please take the time to post a review. They make me very happy! :)**_


	25. Chapter 25

"Hey darlin', you okay?" Merle placed his hand on Rowan's hip urging her to roll toward him so he could see her face. She was rarely sick and she had been in bed for two days. He was worried. _Shit. _She looked awful. The dark circles under her pretty brown eyes accentuated her paleness. He stroked her cheek with his calloused hand.

Rowan gave him a weak smile. "Just a headache, baby. Hershel gave me something earlier. It's already going away."

He squeezed her shoulder. "Be right back. Gonna get you a drink."

"Wait, Merle," she requested, sitting up, her head almost touching the low ceiling. "Hershel said I should get up and get some fresh air." She slid off the bunk into his strong arms.

He steadied her and kissed her forehead. "When's the last time you ate, baby?" he asked, his normally hard blue eyes softening with concern. She felt too thin in his arms.

"Don't remember, Merle, not been hungry," Rowan answered, leaning into him, arms going around his waist.

"Ya gotta eat, baby doll. C'mon. Let's find ya somethin'." He walked with his damaged arm around her and led her to the breakfast table.

"There she is," greeted Caesar. "We were getting worried about you, Ro. No one else here can keep Dixon in line."

"Go to hell, Martinez," Merle countered, receiving a chuckle in return. Though he had breakfast earlier, he sat down at the table with Rowan to make sure she actually ate.

"I saved some juice for you, sweetheart," said Carol, as she started to stand up.

Caesar put his hand on her arm. "Finish eating, babe. I'll get it."

"Thank you, Caesar," she said, sitting back down.

"Nice to see you up, Rowan," Hershel commented from the end of the table with a fatherly smile.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Hershel." She smiled up at Caesar when returned with the juice. "You, too, Caesar. Thanks." Rowan sipped at the pale liquid. "Orange juice?" she asked, skeptically.

Carol gave her an apologetic look. "Maybe. Hard to tell, isn't it?"

"Don't know what half the sh- stuff is," Caesar added. "Many of the cans have damaged or missing labels." He gained control of his foul language quicker than the Dixons out of respect for Hershel, Carol, and the children. He was sure the Dixon brothers didn't even try.

"You're just a regular Betty Crocker, ain't ya, Martinez?" Merle needled his friend.

Caesar just laughed. "Don't bother me none, Dixon. At least I don't have to look at your ugly mug all day," he said and winked at Carol who blushed.

"Well, I'll be damned," Merle said catching the quick look that passed between the two as he fixed Rowan a bowl of oatmeal with a side of the ever present powdered eggs.

She started at the unappetizing sallow-looking food. Everyone did their best at trying to make the food palatable, as did she when she was well, but there was only so much they could do with instant crap they had to work with. Rowan shuddered and pushed the plate away.

"Now, darlin', I know it ain't Denny's but ya need to eat."

"Merle," Hershel said. "We had chickens on the farm. Don't know if there's still some around, but you and your brother could check some local farms, see if you could find some. We could all do with some fresh eggs."

Merle rubbed his chin. "Not a bad idea, Doc Greene. We'll do that. Goin' out in a day or two. Me and Daryl'll scout around."

"Damn, you look like shit," Daryl said to Rowan, noticing her at the table as he came in. "Hope you ain't contagious." He glanced at Hershel for confirmation.

"I hope not, son," he said and looked at Beth who had just stepped into the room with Judith. "Lord, I hope not."

* * *

Rick was halfway through his walk along the fence when Amanda caught up to him. "Hey, mind if I join you?" she asked, slightly out of breath.

"Not at all, Mandy. I missed you." He smiled at her, thinking maybe he was happier than he ought to be. He had to stop himself from leaning over for a kiss. The old Mandy was starting to appear more often and he didn't want to scare her off. He would let her make the first move when she was ready. He hoped he had the strength to stick with that decision.

"Good," she smiled, glad he seemed to welcome her company. Would he act so happy to see her if he wasn't? Was he too nice to turn her away? The nagging doubts in her mind wouldn't go away.

Rick asked, "How's Rowan?"

"Better. Daddy got her out of the cell today and she is sitting in the sun with Beth and Judith. He thinks she needs better food. He's going out early with Daryl in a day or two to see what they can find."

"How are you, Mandy?" He stopped walking and turned to face her.

"Good, I think. Better, anyway," she answered truthfully.

"Glad to hear that. I really did miss your company on the perimeter checks. Carl would rather stand watch in the tower now. Nice to have you back...with me."

"Thanks," she said and looked away from his intense gaze. Suddenly, she was out of words. His look was...hopeful? She didn't know how to proceed. She was afraid to go at it head-on like she usually did. She was so afraid of being rejected, that he wouldn't want her anymore. Damn, she felt dirty. What if he didn't feel the same way about her anymore? What if he...

"Mandy?"

His concerned voice snapped her out of her own dark thoughts. "Sorry Rick. I guess I was just distracted."

"Wanna talk?"

_Not really. Not yet. Not ever? I'm afraid you won't like me anymore. _She just shook her head.

"Okay," he said and held his hand for her to take. She only hesitated a moment before placing her hand in his.

* * *

Merle watched Amanda go to Rick. _Fuck! _Was he going to be able to do this? It felt like a kick in the gut. Why couldn't he say no to her? Demand that she not see him. Why couldn't the man just have an "accident"? An untraceable accident. Who was he kidding? If anything happened to that man, his fault or not, he'd still get the blame. "What the fuck does she see in that prick?"

Rowan looked out to where the couple walked along the fence, hand-in-hand. "Beautiful eyes? Loves his family? Or maybe it's just his nice ass."

"Think I liked you better sick." He said rubbing his stump. He took off the apparatus to cool his arm. It was so fucking hot today and the sweat really made it itch.

Rowan patted his leg. "Aww, baby, don't be jealous. You're the only one for me, except maybe..."

Merle shut her up with a kiss, "Don't you say a damn thing or I'll have to kill 'im, whoever he is."

"What if he's a she?"

"Darlin', now you're just teasin'," he said, slipping a thigh between her legs, pressing her down on the blanket she had spread out for herself...and the baby.

Rowan laughed and shoved him away as Judith tried to climb between them, babbling away. "Damn cock-block, that's what you are, booger," Merle muttered as the girl reached for his prosthesis. She let out a wail when he pulled it out of her reach.

"You didn't think you were getting any _here_, did you? Out in the open?" Rowan snorted.

"I can dream, can't I?" _It's been three damn days. Dreams are all I got. _"I think the little booger is jealous of ya, darlin'," he said, sitting the baby on his lap, bouncing her until she giggled.

"Merle," Rowan began. "Do you think there's a better man to watch after Amanda than Rick, if you weren't around?"

"Ain't going nowhere without my girl," he answered gruffly, picking up Judith's stuffed toy and teasing her with it.

"I know, honey, but if something happened...to you or Daryl."

"We're Dixons, baby. Ain't nothing gonna happen to us." He let Judith get the toy and she squealed in delight.

Rowan didn't say anything else on the subject. She knew that when the man had his mind set on something, that was the end of conversation and she was too tired to waste her breath arguing or trying to convince him otherwise. She lay back on the grass with her arms behind her head. Merle reached past the little girl to touch a protruding hip bone, his eyes moving up to where he could just see her ribs through the thin shirt. "Ya ain't eating enough, girl."

She shrugged or something like it.

"I'm serious...ya gotta take care of yourself to keep up with me." She flipped him off. "Hey don't be teaching this baby girl that shit."

Judith grabbed his cheeks. "Fuck!" she said, giggling.

Rowan propped upon an elbow and lifted her sunglasses. "Oh my God, Merle! What have you done?"

"Me? I ain't the only one who says fuck."

"Either you or your idiot brother taught her that."

"Daryl did. He's 'round her way more 'an me."

Beth plopped down on the ground beside them and passed around bottles of water. "Thanks, Cherry Blossom." Merle winked as he took a swig. Rowan smacked him on the back.

"Why do you call me that, Mr. Dixon?"

He smiled his most charming smile and said, " 'Cause you're as pretty as cherry blossom when ya blush."

Judith climbed over Rowan's legs to get to the box of teething biscuits in Beth's hand. "F-" the baby started, her word was lost around the biscuit she shoved in her mouth.

"I think she's tried to say something," Beth said excitedly. "Did you hear her?"

Merle and Rowan looked at each other. Rowan burst into giggles. "Oh my god, Merle," she laughed, covering her mouth.

Merle just smiled at the teenager's questioning look and shrugged. "I ain't heard nothin' but babblin', girl." He glanced at Rowan. "Ya hear anything, baby doll?" Rowan shook her head and mouthed _liar _at him, to which he just laughed. Rowan lay back down and covered her face with her arm. He saw that she still was trying to hold back her laughter.

Beth had been wary of Merle Dixon, at first. He was so gruff and crude and really frightening when he had the knife attached to his right arm. But he had never been anything more than pleasant to her and when he basically gave her the go ahead with his brother...well, the girl couldn't have been happier to have him as a part of the group. Daryl's brother didn't treat her like a kid and he seemed to like her. That couldn't be bad, could it? She had his blessing and Daryl was becoming more receptive to the idea of them being together and was actually getting into their little make out sessions.

What if she "visited" Daryl tonight? What would she wear? Her wardrobe was limited. She really needed to talk to someone about finding her some nicer, sexier underwear. Now that Amanda wasn't going on supply runs, that left Maggie or Glenn. Glenn would tell her sister and her sister would tell their dad. _Shoot. _That wouldn't work. Daryl and Rick were out of the question. She shuddered at that thought. What about Merle? _Oh my goodness._ She couldn't ask him! Not face-to-face. She could give him a note...what if he read it out loud? _Damn it! _Maybe Rowan would ask for her. That might work...

"Whatcha thinking about, gir- Cherry Blossom," Merle's raspy voice interrupted her musing. "You're blushing." He grinned.

_Oh shoot!_ She blushed even harder.

He raised a brow. "Got it bad for my baby brother, huh?"

_How does he know what I'm thinking? _Beth nodded. She didn't think her cheeks could get any redder but she was wrong. Her face felt like it was on fire.

"He givin' ya a hard time...Fuck...didn't mean it that way, girl. He holding back on ya?" he rephrased the question.

She nodded. Why couldn't she speak? Her throat felt like it was closing. What was wrong with her?

"Don't worry, darlin', my baby brother is just kind o' slow and a bit shy, not real good with girls, especially smart and pretty ones like yourself. If ya really want 'im, don't give up. He'll come 'round." Merle reached across Rowan's legs and patted Beth's knee. "And if he doesn't, just let me know and I'll have a talk with 'im."

The youngest Greene girl nodded so furiously, Merle thought she was going to give herself whiplash. She picked up Judith and practically ran back to the prison.

"You're going to hell, you know that don't you?" Rowan said, not bothering to sit up from the grass she'd been napping on.

Merle laughed and leaned over for a long kiss and then murmured against her ear, "Wanna go with me, baby doll?"

* * *

Carl was feeling better and met Rick and Amanda back at the prison. "Hey, Dad, can I go hunting with Daryl and Merle tomorr-Achoo!" He sneezed and both adults jumped back.

"Cover your nose when you sneeze, son," Rick scolded, wiping off his arm. He then used the hand sanitizer Carol had sat out on the table.

"Sorry, Dad. Can I go?" Carl asked again, wiping his nose on his forearm.

Rick shook his head. "No. You need a few more days to get over that cold." He handed the bottle to Carl. "Clean your hands. And arm," he said. "If you sneeze and scare off a deer or rabbit you'll incur the wrath of two Dixons and none of us want that."

"Fine." The boy pouted. "I'm gonna play cards with Oscar in the guard tower, gotta problem with that?" he asked, stomping away, not waiting for an answer.

Amanda looked at Rick and he ran his hand through his hair. "Puberty." He turned to greet Judith and Beth. "Hello, ladies." He took his daughter and nuzzled her neck. "How's my girl?"

"She already ate, Rick. Probably ready for a nap," Beth informed him. "I think she tried to say her first word earlier."

Amanda's eyes got wide. _Oh, please no. Not now, Judith._

A grin spread across his face. "Really?" he asked, kissing his baby's cheek. "Was it daddy?"

_Yes, yes, yes! Please say daddy. _The suspense was almost too much for Amanda to bear.

"Not sure," Beth answered. "She was chewing on one of these." The girl held up a teething biscuit.

"Whew," Amanda exhaled loudly. _That was close._

"Something wrong, Mandy?" Rick gave her an odd look.

"Um, no. I was just excited. I'm sure her first word will be daddy, right, Judith? Daddy! Say Daddy!" _Please say daddy! _Judith sucked on her fist and snuggled sleepily against Rick's chest.

"Want me to put her down for her nap?" Beth asked.

"That's okay, I'll do it," Rick said. "Wanna come sit with me, Mandy?"

"Sure," she said, following him to Judith's nursery, a cell between Rick's and Carol's. He settled in a rocking chair that Daryl and Maggie scavenged from a nearby daycare.

Rick smiled at Amanda. "I think she'll fall asleep quick; she's halfway there." He kissed his daughter on the top of her head and hummed a soft lullaby. The lower bunk had been removed from the cell to accommodate the crib. Looking around, finding nowhere to sit, Amanda lowered herself to the floor but Rick nodded to the ottoman by the rocking chair. "Sorry," he whispered. "I forgot there was only one place to sit."

"That's okay," she said. "The floor is fine." _As long as I am with you. _She wanted to reach out and touch him. Did she dare? The Dixon spirit got the better of her. She smiled up at him and gingerly place a hand on his knee. _There, that wasn't so hard. _

"I've missed you so much, Mandy" Rick said softly and covered her hand with his larger one. She scooted forward and laid her head on his knee. He moved his hand to her hair and stroked her head. She began shaking. Was she crying? He checked on Judith who was almost asleep so he rose slowly and moved the baby to the crib. Thankfully, she didn't wake.

Rick knelt down beside Amanda. She didn't move but buried her face in her hands and cried softly. "C'mon, baby." He rubbed her back. "It's gonna be okay."

She shook her head. "No, it's not," she said in between gasping breaths. "It's never gonna be okay again."

"Let's go to my cell." Rick gently pulled her up and guided her to his room. Shutting the door behind them, he pulled the sheets over the bars for at least the facade of privacy. He wrapped his arms around her trembling form and stroked her hair. He loved the feel of the silken curls between his fingers. He missed being able to touch them. Since her rescue, he'd caught himself several times reaching out to push one back from her face but had to stop himself.

She was starting to trust him once more. He was almost afraid to hope that she wanted to be with him again. He closed his eyes and inhaled her fresh scent. Jesus, how he missed her.

Rick rubbed her back and whispered what he hoped were soothing words in her ear. "Shhh, baby. I got you." He wasn't sure why she was crying, it didn't much matter. He just wanted to make her feel better.

"Wanna sit down, hon?" he asked. Amanda nodded and sat with him on the edge of his bed.

"I'm sorry, Rick," she said, sniffling. "I don't know why I'm crying." She leaned into him. "I can't stop."

"It's okay, baby," he said gently rocking her in his arms.

"No, it's not. It's not okay."

"Why, baby? Tell me, Mandy, so I can help you," he pleaded brushing damp curls off her face and kissing her temple.

"I can't."

"You can tell me anything, honey. Why do you say that?"

She rubbed her eyes but kept her face hidden in his shirt. "You won't like me anymore."

"Mandy, baby, that's not gonna happen." He tried to tilt her chin up but she resisted.

"Yes, it will. You won't be able to help it."

Rick squeezed her tighter. "I never got to tell you how I felt sweetheart, before...before what happened," he said, kissing the top of her head. "But I loved you then and I love you now. Nothing's gonna change that."

_I love you, too. _Amanda couldn't talk; all she could do was cry harder.

"That wasn't exactly the reaction I was hoping for." Rick chuckled softly and kissed her head again. "Lay with me, Mandy," he requested and stretched out on the bunk, pulling her unresisting body down with him. Amanda buried her face in his chest. God, he felt so helpless. She was hurting so bad and he didn't know what to do. He tilted her face up but she refused to look at him. Her tears were salty on his lips as he kissed them away from her closed eyelids. "Whatever it is, we'll deal with it together, baby. You don't have to do it alone."

"You sure?" she asked so quietly he almost didn't hear her words.

Rick smiled against her forehead. "Of course, I am."

Amanda sniffled and tried to reign in her sobs. "I messed up your shirt." Her voice was muffled against his chest.

"It's okay baby, just tears."

"No, I think there's a little snot, too."

He laughed and sat up enough to pull the wet shirt over his head. "Better?"

Amanda smiled and nodded. She took his shirt and blew her nose in it then tossed it on the floor.

He lay back down and she snuggled against him, resting her hands on his hard, warm chest. He kissed her nose. "I meant what I said. I love you, Amanda. I'll always be here for you, okay?"

She nodded and lifted her chin. "Thank you," she replied and placed her lips to his in a ghost of a kiss and settled back into the comfort of his arms.

* * *

**Thanks to all my readers, new followers, and guests. Please drop a line and let me know what you think.**

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**Happy reading!**


	26. Chapter 26

"Brought you some lemonade." Beth smiled sweetly and handed Daryl the cup of pale yellow liquid. "It's not real. Carl found some of the powdered stuff in the pantry."

Daryl drained it. "Don't matter, darlin'. It's still damn good." He licked his lips. "Beats that powdered milk shit by a mile." He handed her the cup when he finished and she sat it carefully on the wall. She was looking at him with her I-wanna-jump-your-bones smile. "Shit, girl," he said and pulled her to him, lips meeting in a passionate needy kiss. Tongues tangled, teeth clicked and Daryl felt the familiar tightening in his groin. He came up for air. "Ya killing me, baby," he said, slightly breathless.

"Then do something about it," she challenged, though she smiled sweetly.

Daryl grinned and propped his crossbow against the wall, inside the guard tower. These little make-out session were becoming more frequent and he discovered that he looked forward to them. He settled into one of the chairs and patted his lap. Beth sat right down, arms encircling his neck, lips finding his again. She shifted on his lap against his hard erection. His hands went to her hips "Ya know the rules, sweetheart. No wigglin'," he warned, mouth never leaving hers. She pulled away and met his eyes "What's the matter, darlin," he asked, voice husky, wanting to feel her lips again.

"I need to ask you something, Daryl," Beth said a little hesitantly.

"Okay, baby." _I still have the condom if that's what you're thinking...but we ain't gonna need it tonight. _He was starting to feel nervous but this must be important because he usually had to pry her off of him. Clearly, she was uncomfortable about whatever she was going to ask which was unusual. Beth pretty much said whatever came into her pretty little head to him. Daryl pushed her hair back over her shoulders and cupped her cheek. _Shit! _Maybe she was dumping him. _Fuck! Already? We ain't even done it yet!_

She looked at her hands which were now folded primly in her lap. In a small voice, she asked, "Daryl, are you a virgin?" She exhaled in relief. There, she finally got the nerve to ask him.

"Holy fuck, Beth! Where'd ya get that idea?" he sputtered. "Did my brother say somethin'?" _I'm gonna kill him!_

"No. He didn't say anything. I just thought, that maybe..." She picked at one of the buttons on his shirt, plucking at it, distractedly. "That's why...maybe...you were afraid to have sex with me because you've never done it before. Please, don't be mad at me, Daryl."

_Holy shit. Fuck! Damn! Am I so fuckin' pathetic that a virgin thinks I'm a virgin? Holy fuckin' hell_. "Beth, honey..."

She looked at him with those damn big blue eyes so chock full of fuckin' _understandin'_. "It's okay if you are. Don't be ashamed," she said softly and cupped his cheek. "We can figure it out together."

_Holy fuckin' shit and damn it all to hell. _Daryl took a deep breath and pressed her palm against his lips. He tried to calm his voice as he explained. "I ain't no virgin, darlin'."

Beth ran her hand over his cheek and down his shoulder reaching for his. "It's okay. Really."

He willed her to shut up. _Please, please, please shut up_.

"I don't care, Daryl."

Apparently his will wasn't strong enough because she was still talking, so he kissed her. He shoved his tongue in her mouth maybe a little too rough but she didn't skip a beat and met it with her own. _There that's better. _No more chatter or embarrassing questions. He'd rather kiss than talk and hopefully she would to.

_A virgin? Me? _He almost snorted. _It had been a long damn time but still...a fuckin' virgin? _Daryl held her hip tightly with one hand and moved the other to her thigh where he worked it into the leg of her shorts wishing she had worn the skirt today. He could work with it though. They were loose. He'd never touched her there...afraid it would be too much, not just for her but for him. He could already feel the heat between her legs before he reached it and his brain shut down while his fingers sought it out.

Beth gasped when he reached the velvety wet folds...She was so fuckin' wet he was gonna come right then especially if she didn't quit doing that thing she did with her tongue in his ear. _ Fuck. _He stroked her slow and gentle, not entering her yet. Her mouth stilled and she gripped his shoulders as his fingers encircled her opening, spreading the moisture...she was so fuckin' hot and wet...he found the tiny sensitive bud and damned if her nails didn't break through his skin. "Breathe, baby, ya gotta breathe," he said against her ear.

Beth nodded wordlessly and let out a trembling breath. "Atta girl," he said stroking her loose blonde hair. He loved the feel of the long golden strands falling through his fingers.

She gasped when he applied a little more pressure with his thumb while sliding a finger just inside. _Oh fuck, she was so damn tight. _She started to move against his hand.

_Shit! Control yourself, Dixon. _"Easy, darlin', not too hard."

Little moans escaped her sweet lips each time he dipped his finger in, traveling just a bit deeper which each trip. He sped up and so did her panting. She buried her head in his neck. "Oh, Daryl, please..."

His fingers slowed. "Want me to stop?'

"Oh God, no...please don't."

_Good...I don't wanna stop_. He kissed her hair and brought his other hand up to pull her head back. Her eyes were glazed and her lips swollen from his kisses. _She was fuckin' his._ "I wanna taste ya, Beth," he whispered.

"Hmmmm." She leaned forward for a kiss but he held her head. "Already tasted ya there, baby." She blinked and almost frowned until he slipped his finger in deeper, curling against her walls and dragging it out...she shuddered and her body clenched trying to bring him back in. He smiled, and then he stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked off her juices. "Your pussy tastes so fuckin' sweet." Her heart raced faster, her face flushed. She never heard such dirty words used so intimately.

He put his finger back into her dripping core and sealed his mouth over his. She was surprised at her own taste on his tongue, but he teased hers without mercy, matching his finger's movement while his thumb was now working her clit. Her hips moved against his hand on their volition. It wasn't enough. She still needed more. She wanted him to touch her breasts. They were tight and aching for attention but she wasn't sure how to tell him. She reached for the hand on her hip and pulled at it.

Concern filled his voice. "Am I hurtin' you?"

She shook her head. "My breasts...touch them."

He grinned. "Don't need a hand for that." He leaned forward and sucked a small hard nipple through her thin shirt.

"Oh god," she whimpered, arching into him.

"Hush baby, don't want anyone to hear," Daryl warned with her nipple in his mouth. He tugged it harder and she almost came off his lap. He stroked faster, trying not to go to deep, barely able to stop himself. He felt her spasm against his finger so he pulled her to his chest smothering any cries or screams her climax might have produced. She gripped his shirt with her small hands and bit down on it, shuddering against him. He wrapped her in a protective embrace and held her until she came back down.

* * *

It was well after midnight when Merle woke up. He smiled as he heard the pitter patter of Cherry Blossom's soft-soled shoes making their way back to her cell. He'd give the girl credit. She was very quiet and he'd be surprised if anyone else heard her. The rest of group slept like the dead. He chuckled at his own joke. Rowan rolled over, reaching out for him. "What's up, baby?" she asked sleepily. "Time for your watch?"

"Almost," Merle answered. "I have enough time to take care of you." He pulled Rowan on top of him and her lips automatically found his in the dark. He ran his hand across her back. It had been almost two long weeks since they fucked and he was sure his balls were about to fall off. She was getting a little more meat on her bones since he and Daryl came back last week with a deer. Her ass was filling out nicely. It felt good, so good against his palm. "Fuck, baby, hurry up," he said, trying to push her pants down.

"Wait a minute," she hissed.

"What?" he half-asked, not really hearing her words as he tugged on her clothes.

She swatted his hands away and sat up, straddling his hips. "I hear something..."

He grabbed her hips and pressed up. "It's my dick come knockin'."

"Hush, Merle." She stood up and he tried to pull her back down but she stepped out of his reach.

"Baby, please," he pleaded.

Rowan shook her head. "I think Amanda's having a nightmare."

_Fuck!_ He stood, pulling his pants up. "Fuck!"

Rowan skipped silently down the stairs and padded barefoot to Amanda's cell. Merle was close behind. She stepped into the cell and almost ran in to Rick. "Oops, sorry. I didn't see you."

"No problem. I got her…go on back to sleep," he said sitting down on the side of Amanda's bed.

"Um, you sure, Rick?"

"Yeah, Rowan. I'll be fine."

"What the fu-," Merle started in.

Rowan covered his mouth. "Shhh, you'll wake everyone up."

"But…"

"But, nothing. He's got it." Rick had stretched out on the bunk beside Amanda, with his arms wrapped around her and was whispering in her ear, chasing the bad dream away.

Merle tried to squeeze by Rowan. "He ain't…"

"Baby, stop it!" It took all the strength the slender woman had but she shoved him back outside of the cell.

Merle still attempted to get past her, hell-bent on yanking the bastard out of his daughter's bed "I ain't leaving with that prick in…"

"Yes you are," she said and reached down to cup him through the front of his pants. "I believe you and I have unfinished business to attend to before your watch."

* * *

Merle smiled and stretched as he made his way to the tower to relieve Daryl. He was smiling because Rowan was back to her old self and he finally got laid and because his brother may have finally got some himself, as well.

"Hey, little brother." Merle slapped Daryl on the back.

The younger man yawned and stretched. "That time already?"

"Yep. Finally popped that cherry, huh?"

"What? Fuck, Merle. No." Daryl said shaking his head, pretty sure his brother's grin couldn't get any wider.

"Well you did something cuz I can smell her on ya."

"Ya shittin' me?" Daryl sniffed himself. "Fuck."

Merle laughed. "No, bro, I ain't," he said patting his back. "Maybe ya oughtta shower or take a swim in the creek 'fore you go back in, in case Daddy Greene is awake."

"Goddamn, Merle. Fuck." His brother was right. He hated when Merle was right. _Fuck it._

"Just lookin' out for ya, brother. Hate for the ol' man to put a bullet in ya when I just found ya again." Merle propped up on the tower wall and scanned the dark landscape before him. Same ol' shit. A few biters wandering around. Looked half-starved. He should go out tomorrow and take care of 'em, a knife through the eye socket. "What ya worried about? The old man is probably asleep, anyway."

It was too dark for Daryl to do anything now. "Go get my sleeping bag, will ya? I'll stay here 'til it's light enough to rinse off in the creek.

"Ain't your errand boy, Darylina. Get it yourself."

Daryl shook his head. "Thought ya were lookin' out for me, bro. I ain't going in there yet."

"Pussy."

"Shut the fuck up, asshole." Daryl flopped down in the chair and tried to get comfortable. _Shit_.

* * *

Just as the sun cleared the horizon, Daryl woke up in the guard tower grumpy as hell and with a crick in his neck. He rolled his head around trying to pop it but to no avail.

"Ask Rowan to work it out for ya," advised Merle. "She's good with her hands like that."

Daryl rolled his shoulders back and turned his head from side-to-side. "Don't want your bi- woman's hands on me not after they been all over you."

"Hell, she probably ain't gonna wanna touch you after where you been." Merle snorted. "She could work that crick out in no time but ya better say pretty please. She don't like ya much."

"Forget it. Ain't gonna happen." Stupid bitch was as mean as a rattlesnake. She'd probably try to break his neck rather than pop the kinks out. He didn't know how his brother put up with her. A piece of ass couldn't be worth that much trouble.

The older Dixon just shrugged at his baby brother. "Your loss, ya stubborn jackass." Then his demeanor changed from aggravated to amused, never a good sign. A wide, toothy grin spread across his craggy face.

"What the fuck you smiling at?" Daryl snarled.

"Not a damn thing baby bro. Not a goddamn thing." Merle smirked. "Enjoy your breakfast."

* * *

Judith sat in the high chair and slapped happily at her oatmeal while babbling to anyone who'd listen. Rick tried patiently to feed his daughter with a spoon but she preferred to eat with her hands. Carl had excused himself as soon as he was through eating, claiming his sister's disgusting table manners had made him lose his appetite. Amanda and Rowan chatted about cleaning up another cell block for more living space while Beth mostly yawned and daydreamed. Hershel and Caesar discussed building a coop for the newly acquired chickens. They didn't have enough hens yet to provide eggs for everyone but they were hoping to round up a few more on the next run.

They had just about finished the morning meal when a freshly-scrubbed Daryl came in, his wet hair, slicked back.

"Good mor…" Amanda gasped and covered her mouth stifling a giggle. Rick turned to greet him but his greeting froze on his lips and he just nodded at his friend and turned back to give Amanda a shocked look. He was trying not to laugh.

Caesar slipped up and said, "Oh shit!" Carol put her hand on his forearm, eyes wide but she didn't say a word.

Hershel turned red, coffee cup paused halfway to his mouth.

Beth was the only one that spoke. "Morning, Daryl," she said with a dreamy smile.

"Morning, Beth," he said warily, eyeing the group around the table. _What is wrong with these people? _"What're ya'll looking at?" he griped, rubbing his aching neck.

"Young man. I think we need to have a talk." Hershel said.

Caesar was the first to stand up. "Carol," he said, tugging on her hand. "C'mon, let's take a walk. I'll help you with the dishes later." She didn't argue and followed him out of the cell block, lightly touching Daryl's forearm on the way, giving him a look of pity?

_What the fuck?_ Daryl watched them leave.

Rick picked up Judith. "Let's get you cleaned up, Punkin." He patted his friend on the shoulder and said, smiling, "Good luck, man."

Amanda started to warn her uncle of the impending doom but all she could say was, "I love you," and she kissed his cheek.

Rowan was the last to leave. She smiled at Merle's brother as she passed. She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You have a hickey on your neck."

_Holy shit!_ His hand flew up to the spot he remembered Beth paying extra attention too last night. _Fuck!_ It was too much to hope for that Hershel didn't see it. By the look on her old man's face and the color of his skin, he'd seen it already and knew exactly who put it there. _I am a dead man._

Beth still sat in her chair with a fuckin' sweet smile on her face. She didn't look worried at all. In fact, she looked quite pleased.

Hershel sat his cup down. Without out taking his eyes off Daryl, he said, "Beth, let us talk in private, please."

"But Daddy," she started to protest.

Hershel turned his furious gaze toward his youngest daughter. "Now, young lady."

She pouted. "This involves me, too."

He nodded. "And I will deal with you later, young lady. Go. Now."

By the stubborn set of her chin, Daryl was afraid Beth was going to refuse. "Go on, darlin', er Beth. Let me talk to your daddy."

She looked at Daryl, gave Hershel her pissiest look, and then she looked back at Daryl and smiled a smile full of sweetness and innocence. "Very well, Daddy." She stood up and placed her napkin on the table but instead of going straight out she went over to Daryl and kissed him on the cheek. "Be strong, baby," she said and left.

"Let me get one thing straight to begin with. I'm going to do all the talking," Hershel said. "Understand, young man?"

"Yessir." _I am so fucked!_

"Then have a seat." Daryl did.

* * *

Rowan made her way to the tower to meet Merle. He greeted her with a kiss and grabbed her ass. "Ready for round two, baby doll?"

Rowan put her hands on his shoulders. "You let him walk in there like that, didn't you?"

Merle chuckled and pulled her close for another, more passionate kiss. "Do ya really care?"

"Why would you do that to him?" she asked, kissing him back and wrapping her arms around him. "I thought you loved your brother."

"I do. That's why I told him you'd take care of that crick in his neck."

"Merle! Why would you do that to me?" she asked, trying to pull away.

"Cuz, my woman and my brother oughtta like each other. Fix his neck and he'll come around," he said nibbling at the hollow at the base of her throat.

"I don't care if he likes me," she complained, "And, what about me? Rubbing your brother's neck doesn't do a thing for me. Ugh."

"Was the ol' man mad?" he asked, changing the subject.

"What do you think, Merle? He was so red I thought his head would explode." Rowan laughed. "I thought Daryl was going to bolt!"

Merle just laughed. "Good. Now, the pussy can finally have that talk I told him to have with the ol' man over a month ago."

* * *

Daryl felt like he was a boy in the principal's office, again. Except this "principal" carried a gun. Hershel sat there for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke. "My daughter, my _teenage_ daughter, has had a crush on you for some time. I saw it and said nothing because you appeared not to return the feelings. However, now, it seems I was mistaken."

Daryl shifted uncomfortably under the man's unwavering gaze. The hickey he didn't realize he had until he walked in the room now burned like someone held a match to it. He started to speak, "Sir, I…"

"I'm not done yet." Hershel interrupted. "This group has been through a lot together over this past year. You've been instrumental in keeping us all safe and fed. I believe you to be an honorable man who would not take advantage of a young girl, who doesn't know her own mind." The Greene patriarch paused and sipped his coffee.

The younger man nervously ran his hands through his still damp hair. _Shit!_

"That being said, I understand the physical needs of a young man sometimes interfere in his decision-making ability. I know the world is different now and perhaps the lack of women available to fill that need has left you no other option _in your mind_ except my youngest daughter."

_Fuck!_ "Sir, I ain't some teenage boy. I'd never use Beth like that."

Hershel raised his hand to silence Daryl and continued. "Beth is young and naïve and where you may see someone to scratch an itch, she sees man to build her new life with. If you think you can be that man, we'll talk again, with Beth present. If not, stay the hell away from my daughter." Hershel reached for his crutches and pulled himself up and left Daryl sitting alone in the cellblock to contemplate his words.

* * *

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	27. Chapter 27

Daryl sat at the table at least a full five minutes after Hershel left. He didn't know what to do. Well, first, he would probably punch his brother in the face for letting him walk in the room with a hickey on his neck without a warning. _Asshole_.

Second, what was he going to do about Beth? Did he want to settle down with her? Truthfully, he had no fuckin' idea. He hadn't even thought about it. Maybe he should have, though. He should have thought past his immediate pleasure, but damn, it was so hard when she was around to think about anything else. Literally. She smelled so good and she felt so good and she wanted him. Him. A girl like that had never wanted him before. Hell, he wanted her too but did he want her forever? How did he make a decision like that? He wasn't good with women or relationships. Daryl propped his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands. Shit, his head hurt and his neck hurt and this kind of thinkin' called for a strong drink or even a cigarette. Probably both and he had neither. _Fuck._ What he really wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for two days.

The light touch of a woman's hand settled on his shoulder. _Beth. Shit._ He wasn't ready to talk to her yet. Daryl didn't know what he was going to say to her. He hadn't been paying attention or she wouldn't have been able to come that close him without him realizing she was in the room. He didn't raise his head but instead reached back to hold her small hand. This hand was long, slender…not Beth! He whirled around wrenching his neck even more. _"Fuck!" _He said grabbing it. _Rowan_. _Could this day get any worse?_ "What the fuck do you want, bitch?" he snapped.

She held her hands up, a bottle of oil in one. "I was going to help you get rid of that pain in your neck."

His scowl deepened. "Don't need your fuckin' charity."

"Charity?" she scoffed. "I'm not doing this for you, you stupid redneck. I'm doing it for Merle so just shut up and take off your shirt so we can get it over with."

"Ain't gonna happen, whore." He was expecting her swing this time and caught her fist right before it connected with his chin.

"I told you never to call me that again!" she said, trying to pull her hand loose from his painfully tight grip.

"I call 'em like I see 'em." he said. "Whore." He couldn't help it. Something about her rubbed him the wrong way and he had to get that last dig in.

"Baby brother," a hard cold voice cut the air. "Take your fuckin' hands off my woman. Now." Daryl roughly shoved Rowan away.

"Hey," she cried, stumbling backwards.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, boy?" Merle asked, steadying Rowan by the arm.

"What the fuck were ya thinkin', brother, not sayin' anythin' about this goddamn hickey?" He yelled pointing to his neck and then he threw himself at his brother. They went down in a heap on the concrete floor, fists flying. Rowan jumped back just in time to keep from being dragged into the fray.

Martinez ran in but stopped abruptly as soon as he saw it was the Dixons. He put his hand on Rowan's shoulder. "Should I stop them?"

"Think you can?" she asked, one brow raised.

"I doubt it." He pulled Rowan back when the brawling brothers rolled too close. "Maybe you ought to come in the kitchen, sweetheart. Don't want you to get hurt," he advised.

"Good idea, Caesar."

He gestured for her to go first and he followed her to the kitchen without a backwards glance.

A loud crash echoed through the prison when Dixon brothers slammed into the table, knocking it over and sending chairs flying, clattering across the floor and into the walls. Rick and Amanda came running in followed by Oscar and Glenn.

"Shit!" Rick cursed. "Merle! Daryl!" He tried to get their attention but had no luck.

Amanda touched his arm. "Just let them fight it out. I don't think they'll kill each other."

"Are you serious, Mandy?" he asked, moving out of the way of a chair that skidded across the floor toward him.

She nodded. "They used to fight all the time. Of course, back then Daddy was younger and Daryl was smaller. It might be an even match now."

Rick looked at Oscar and Glenn. The taller man shrugged and asked, "You really want to get in the middle of that?"

Rick closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and shook his head.

Carl ran in, "Cool! Who's winning?"

"Son, go take care of your sister."

"But Dad, she's with Hershel! I wanna stay and watch." His eyes were wide with excitement.

"It's not safe in here," Oscar said, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. "C'mon, kid, I'll teach you another card trick."

"Okay, but I'd rather stay here," Carl whined and dragged his feet but followed the big man out, continuing to look back over his shoulder.

Beth came rounded the corner with Maggie. "Oh no, Daryl!" she cried out and ran toward the fighting brothers.

"Beth! No!" Rick, Amanda, and Maggie yelled at the same time.

Glenn caught hold of the young girl's shirt just before she got tangled up in the rolling mass of Dixon testosterone. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"He's going to get hurt," the young girl cried.

Rick's voice rose above the fracas. "Everybody out now!"

Beth was the only one who resisted but Maggie and Glenn together managed to get the hysterical girl out.

Rick took one last look at the Dixon brothers who seemed to be losing a little steam and locked the door to common area behind him.

* * *

It was a beautiful day outside, though extremely hot. It was mid-August according to Rowan's calendar. The manual labor was held to a minimum during the hottest hours of the day to prevent heat stroke so the divergence of the stream had come to a stand still for now.

Rick continued his daily walk along the fence line with Amanda. "Think they're still fighting?" he asked.

She chuckled. "I don't know. Do you wanna go find out?" she asked while pulling her hair off of her neck and into a curly ponytail.

Rick glanced at her before tugging on the patch in the fence. "I'll pass. What do you think they're fighting about?"

"Who knows?" she shrugged. "It could have something to do with that hickey on Daryl's neck. Daddy relieved him from watch. He had to see it."

"Sure as hell couldn't miss it." Rick shook his head and laughed with Amanda. "Did you see Hershel's face?"

She put an arm around his waist and leaned into him. "If I gave you a hickey, I'd make sure it's was where Daddy couldn't see it. He'd do more than just have a talk with you."

He didn't even want to think about Merle's reaction but the thought of her lips on him again was enticing. "You wanna give me a hickey?" he asked playfully, kissing the top of her head.

She smiled up at him. "How about a rain check? We've already had too much drama for one day." She was starting to talk to him a little more, just idle chatter, but he enjoyed it. He didn't realize how much he missed listening to her, learning how her mind worked. "What are you smiling about?" she asked.

"You."

"Yeah? Good or bad?"

"Definitely good," he answered with a smile and kiss on her forehead. Her arms went around his neck and she leaned into him. "Eww, you're sweaty," she said, pulling away but he held on to her.

"So are you." Rick bent his head down to place a soft, chaste kiss on her mouth. She closed her eyes, leaning into him. He cupped her cheeks with his hands and tentatively pressed his tongue between her parted lips. His hands slipped around to bury themselves in her hair, pulling her curls free from their restraint to cascade over his fingers. Amanda's hands tightened against his neck for a brief moment before she pulled back gently. "Jesus, Mandy, I missed you so much. Move in with me, like we planned." He lifted her chin, "Look at me baby. What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I'm ready, Rick." She had trouble looking into his eyes. She was afraid to get too close to him again. She didn't tell him anything about Crowley. Rick only knew what the man said himself, right before he put a bullet in his brain.

"Okay, Mandy, but the offer still stands. Whenever you're ready." He kissed her hand and let it go when his son called out to them.

"Hey, Dad!" He looked from one adult to another. "Hey Amanda. Dad, I just wanted to tell you the Dixons are done fighting and want to be let out."

"Daryl has keys, so do you," his dad replied.

"Daryl lost his fighting, thinks they fell off somewhere and I didn't know if I should let them out without asking you first."

"Good thinking, son," Rick said ruffling the boy's hair, "Let's go see the damage."

* * *

Daryl and Merle lay side-by-side on their backs on the cool concrete floor that was now damp with sweat and blood.

"Damn it, Darylina. You broke my fuckin' nose," Merle said, grimacing as he popped it back into place. "Nah, just outta joint." _Fuck, that hurt. Baby brother got a lot stronger since our last fight._

"Well, shit, bro, ya knocked my teeth loose," He replied rubbing the bruised side of his jaw. Daryl sat up first, albeit very slowly and not without a loud groan. "Fuck! Mighta cracked a rib when we hit that damn table."

"Give an ol' man a hand and help me up," Merle said and let himself be pulled up by the younger man.

"We even?" Daryl asked.

Merle nodded. "Yep."

"Good." Daryl looked around the trashed room. "We better get the place cleaned up, 'fore Carol see it."

"No shit. She'll have our hides."

"Here help me with the table, Merle," the younger Dixon said while grabbing one end. "Did you tell Beth I was a virgin?"

"Oh fuck!" he said, laughing, almost dropping his end. "Don't make me laugh, Darylina...think I mighta cracked a rib, too." He slowly stood up straight and they righted the heavy table. "Did she really ask ya that?" _Fuck, it hurt to laugh_. He couldn't help himself when Daryl nodded. "So I guess you had to show 'er ya weren't."

Daryl shrugged, moving a chair in place. "More or less."

"Less, I'd say, since ya didn't …"

"Don't start that shit," Daryl warned, picking up another chair and putting it back at the table.

"Alright," Merle said, still chuckling. "I did tell her you were kind of shy with pretty girls and not to give up on ya."

"Fuck. You can stop helpin' me now." Daryl sat down at the table rubbing his sore jaw while his brother sat down across him. "What makes that bi-girl so special to ya?"

"Huh?" Merle answered, looking cross-eyed down at his battered nose.

"Ain't never seen ya give two shits about a woman before, Merle," Daryl admitted. "And now you tried to whip my ass over her?"

"Tried? The older Dixon slammed his prosthesis down on the table with a bang. "Hell boy, I…"

"It was draw, ol' man." Daryl tried to stare him down but his brother laughed him off.

"Fine. It was a draw if it makes ya feel better, Darylina."

His baby brother wouldn't let it go. "So answer the question."

"I will if ya tell me what the Ol' Man Greene said to ya."

Daryl sighed heavily and relayed the conversation to his brother. Merle rubbed his chin. "Man has a good point. Wants to make sure his daughter isn't sullied by a dirty redneck only lookin' to get laid. She's a good girl, Daryl. Ya thought about it?"

"What?"

Merle bit back the grin and laugh that almost popped out at his brother's inability to stay on track."Settling down. Ya ain't gettin' any younger. Beth's a sweet girl and for some reason thinks she's in love with your sorry ass. You could do worse and ya sure as hell ain't gonna do better."

"Shit, Merle." Daryl rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. "Ain't thought about. Don't know if I can do it. Too used to bein' on my own."

"I understand, brother, but ya oughtta start thinkin' about it." Merle pulled off his prosthesis and rubbed his painful stump. Shouldn't have hit his brother so hard with it. "It's nice to have a woman to keep ya warm at night and to take care of the morning wood."

"So that's what ya see in her?" he asked. "A piece of ass every damn day?"

_Don't I wish?_ Merle shook his head. He wished his brother wasn't so dense sometimes. "That's nice, but it's more than that. I got someone on my side, lookin' out for me, takin' care of me when I need it." He chuckled. "And she's kept me out of trouble here more times than I can count."

"That's a fuckin' full time job; maybe I've been too hard on her," Daryl said, thoughtfully. "So what you're telling me is ya love 'er."

"I said no such thing." Merle shoved him on the shoulder hard and they both moaned in pain. "Damn it, why'd ya make me do that?"

"I didn't make ya do shit, ya jackass," Daryl replied, holding his sore ribs. "Ya used to say ya couldn't see waking up to the same woman every day.

"The world's different. Things change and ya gotta change with 'em."

"Shit, Merle. Did ya crack ya head when hit the floor?"

Merle shook his head. "Just tryin' to survive, baby brother." All this talk about changing and settling down didn't sound like the brother Daryl knew. "If I were you, I'd think real hard on it but don't take too long, that little gal may come to her senses."

"Excuse," Rowan interrupted. "Is it safe to come in?"

Merle looked over his shoulder and held out his hand, "Sure, baby, c'mon."

"Oh my god! Look at you two idiots," she exclaimed, gingerly touching Merle's nose.

He pulled her down into his lap and kissed the back of her neck with a loud smacking sound. She turned her head around to capture his lips with hers. "Ow! Shit!" he said. "Forgot ya busted my damn lip, bro." Rowan tenderly kissed a small spot on his stubbled cheek that wasn't bruised.

"See what I mean, Darylina," he said, wrapping his arms around the dark-haired woman on his lap and resting his chin on her shoulder. "Think about what I said, brother."

Daryl shook his head. "I don't know, man."

Rowan looked from one battered Dixon to the other and shook her head. "Ya'll better get a mop and clean the blood off the floor before lunch."

"Shit," replied Merle, standing up. He checked the locked door. "Who else besides Grimes has key to this place?"

"Fuck." Daryl patted his jeans and started looking around. "I did."

* * *

Rick looked at the Dixons brothers through the bars of the dining area and shook his head in disbelief. They both looked like shit. He was surprised that either of them could still walk. Amanda had been right, though, they didn't kill each other. In fact, they were actually talking and joking together. The older Dixon didn't even give Rick the death glare he'd become accustomed to.

Rowan retrieved the first aid kit and cleaned up Merle.

Amanda took care of Daryl's cuts. "Want me to get Beth?" his niece asked. "She was awfully worried about you getting hurt."

"Shut up."

She dabbed a small cut above her uncle's eye with alcohol. He winced and pushed her hand away. "Quit being such a baby," she ordered and then asked, "you wanna tell me what this was all about?"

"Nope."

"Did it have something to do the hickey?"

"I said wasn't gonna talk about it. Ya know what 'no' means?" he asked, clearly frustrated with her endless questions.

"Be still," she ordered, undaunted, wiping the blood from his face. "What did Hershel say?"

"Goddamn it, Possum! Dontcha ever listen?"

"Hell, bro, no wonder ya can't keep a woman…if that's the way ya talk to 'em."

"Shut up, Merle," he grumbled, knowing full well that his brother wouldn't.

"I could give ya some more brotherly advice," he offered with a chuckle as Rowan finished doctoring his face. "Thanks for takin' care of me, darlin'," he said and pulled her down for an open-mouth kiss. "That's how ya do it."

Daryl rolled his eyes at his brother.

"So?" Amanda asked her uncle.

"So what?"

"What did Hershel say?"

"Ya'll are crazy!" Daryl leapt from the chair knocking it backwards. "I'm goin' to get some sleep and I don't wanna hear a goddamn word from any of ya!" He stormed out of the room, his curses fading in the distance.

The three people left in the room looked at each other and the two women burst into laughter. Merle hugged his daughter. "You're a true Dixon, girl," he said, kissing the side of her head.

"That was so wrong!" Rowan exclaimed. "No wonder he's such a grumpy asshole. I almost felt sorry for him."

Merle and Amanda looked at her like she had two heads. Then she grinned. "Not really, that last part wasn't true."

* * *

"Hey."

Beth looked up to see Maggie standing in the door of her cell. "Hey."

"I thought you might want to talk to someone," the older Greene sister said.

Beth looked at her, somewhat surprised and asked, "You?"

Maggie sat down on the bunk beside her sister. "I know I haven't been there for you and I'm sorry."

"Did Daddy send you?" The blonde looked back at her mending, picking out a misplaced stitch.

"Yeah. He said you were pretty upset after he spoke with you."

"With me? How about to me?" Beth's voice rose in anger. "Daddy didn't want to hear anything I had to say. He treats me like a child. I'm eighteen, Maggie, and after all we've been through…I'm not a child anymore."

Her big sister nodded. "He's worried about you and this thing you have with Daryl."

"This 'thing'?" Beth mocked. "Like the 'thing' you have with Glenn? Is that what you're talking about?"

"Glenn and I are different."

"Really, Maggie? How? Because I don't see it. And how would you know anyway? We don't talk anymore. You know nothing about me and Daryl."

"I'm sorry, Beth. You're right. We used to talk. I'm here now. Tell me."

"That's okay. I don't need you running back to Daddy with everything I say. I found other people I can talk to, like Amanda or Rowan. I've already talked to Merle more about it than I have you." _Well actually Merle did all the talking._

"Ouch." Maggie winced. "Don't be mad, Beth. I'm just trying to help."

"I'm not mad," she replied tiredly. "You weren't interested before so don't act like you are now."

Maggie took a deep breath, allowing a short pause before trying a different approach. "Daryl is a lot older than you. I don't want to see you hurt."

Beth shrugged and looked way, going back to her mending. "I already heard this speech from Daddy. Besides, does age really matter anymore?"

Maggie sighed. "I suppose it doesn't, if you both want the same thing. Do you?"

"We haven't talked about that yet," the blonde girl admitted. She was so caught up in with the lustful feelings that Daryl brought to life in her that she hadn't tried to talk about it with him. Honestly, she didn't know what he wanted. Beth knew that he wanted her, his body made that abundantly clear. But did he want her for the long run? Maybe he didn't love her the way she loved him.

"Maybe you should."

"We don't talk much," Beth blushed.

"What do you do then? Oh yeah," she smiled sheepishly. "I guess I didn't need to ask. Beth, honey, are you two using condoms?"

"Lord, Maggie. We haven't done that yet. But I have some."

"You do? Where'd you get them…never mind. You got them from me." Maggie said, realizing the answer as soon as she asked the question. Her little sister nodded. "Well at least I know I'm not going crazy."

* * *

Later that night, Amanda couldn't sleep again so she made her way to the tower. She couldn't remember who was on watch tonight but whether it was Rick, Uncle, Daryl, or Daddy, it didn't matter. She'd be able to sleep better in the fresh air.

"Hello?" she called out as she reached the top.

Martinez answered. "Hey, Amanda. Can't sleep?"

She shook her head and hugged her pillow. "No. You mind if I hang out up here?"

"Not at all, babe. I'd enjoy the company for a change." He helped her spread out her blanket on the chair. It was too hot to get under it but it made the surface soft and smooth.

"Caesar?" She watched his profile as he looked out over the landscape before him. "You think the Governor's looking for us?"

"Probably, but I wouldn't worry, sweetheart. I don't think we'll be that easy to find and we'll see him before he sees us," he assured her.

Amanda settled into the lounger and fluffed her pillow behind her head. "Do you like it here, Caesar? Better than Woodbury?"

The man thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Why? It was so pretty there. Almost normal."

"Almost normal is the operative phrase. The citizens of Woodbury didn't really know what it took to create the illusion of normalcy. Here there is freedom. I don't have to watch what I do or say, and," he smiled at her, teeth bright in the moonlight, "I like the people."

"Carol?" she asked smiling back.

He grinned, "Among others."

"Are you two…together?"

He shook his head. "No. we're not like that. I think she has her eyes Oscar but if she looks my way, well, then, who knows?"

"Oscar? Really?" _Carol and Oscar?_ Amanda hadn't noticed.

"Yeah. I think they were getting close before I ever came along."

"Damn," she said to herself. "I didn't know that. I guess I was too wrapped up with Rick before and in myself now."

Caesar looked at her, a soft concerned smile on his face. "How are you two getting along?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "He wants me to move in with him. He asked me to before…before Woodbury. I'm not the same person anymore. I don't think he realizes that. He wants the person I was then."

"Did he say that?" he asked. That didn't sound like the leader of the group that Caesar had come to know.

"No," she admitted.

"You're never going to be that person again, Amanda. He's a smart man. He knows that."

She started crying. Caesar knelt beside her and put his arm around her. "Give it more time, if that's what you need."

"How do I tell him?" Her eyes clenched tight, fight tears that were already running down her cheeks.

"Tell him what, sweetie?" Martinez reached out and brushed a few loose curls back over her ear. "That you're not the same? About Crowley?"

She nodded. "All of it."

"I'm sure he knows more than you're giving him credit for," he said, hugging her shoulders.

"He doesn't know everything."

Caesar brushed her hair back and wiped her tears. "Do you wanna tell me, Amanda?"

She shook her head, "No."

He lifted her chin to meet her eyes. "I had four sisters. I'm a good listener. I don't just pretend to listen." He smiled.

Amanda didn't hesitate; she just blurted out the thing she didn't want anyone to know but needed to tell someone. "I think I'm pregnant." She cried harder.

Caesar didn't say anything but pulled her to him and held her while she cried. After a few moments, she pulled back and wiped her eyes and nose on her blanket. "Sorry. All I seem to do these days is cry."

"You take a test?"

"No." She shook her head. "But I'm really late. I haven't had a period since before Woodbury."

"You've been under a lot of stress, honey," he tried to assure her. "Sometimes that can happen."

"I don't know, Caesar. I don't feel right."

"Could it be Rick's?"

"No." Her voice hitched as she tried to calm herself. "We only had actual sex once and we used a condom. He's not going to want me when he finds out."

He rubbed her shoulder. "Don't say that, babe. It's not your fault. He isn't going to hold it against you."

She shook her head adamantly. "He's already raising a child who may not be his own. Why in the hell would he want another?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Judith may not be his. Lori, Rick's wife, was with another man, she thought Rick was dead. Judith could be either man's baby."

"Shit," Martinez said, sitting back on his heels, trying to take that bit of information in. "I didn't know that."

"I can't ask him to be the father of another man's child." How could they ever be together now? Rick had been through so much. It wasn't fair for her to put him through more.

"Amanda, you have to tell him. If you really are pregnant, you won't be able to hide it soon."

"I know but Rick was so adamant about me not getting pregnant because his wife died in childbirth. We were very careful." She couldn't imagine her life without him before Woodbury but now she couldn't see it with him in it. "What do I do if he doesn't want me?"

Martinez held both of her trembling hands in his. "Then you go on. You have people here who love you and will help you take care of your baby." She shuddered and nodded but didn't think she had the strength to deal with this. "How about I pick you up a pregnancy test? I'll go on the next supply run. I'll be discreet. That way you can know for sure before you say anything to him."

Amanda leaned forward, hugging the man."Thank you, Caesar. I'm glad you're here."

"Me too, honey." He patted her back and squeezed her tight.

* * *

**Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! As always, I enjoying reading your reviews so please let me know what you think.**

**Thanks Siarh for all the help with this chapter.**


	28. Chapter 28

It had been a week since Herschel had talked to Daryl about his daughter and the younger Dixon had managed to avoid talking to her for almost that same amount of time. An extended hunting trip was his alibi though Merle was probably the only who would really guess why he was away for so long. Truth was, his brother was right. He was a pussy. He finally admitted it to himself. It wasn't that he was afraid to talk to Beth or Herschel, well he was a little afraid of the old man; it was that he just didn't know what to say.

Daryl may be willing to give a relationship with the teenage girl a chance but what happened if, not if but when, he fucked it up, which he would do because he was a Dixon? Would he be able to live under the same roof with the Greene family? Possibly, he was the master of avoidance, after all.

Merle and Caesar were planning to clean out another cell block. The walkers were long gone from it but the conditions were far from livable. The group would still share the same common areas but the sleeping arrangements would change. They wouldn't be so crowded. That was certainly a plus as far as Daryl was concerned. Maybe Rowan could talk Merle into moving into a cell with her and he could have a perch all to himself again.

He heard Beth coming up the stairs to the guard tower. He hadn't talked to her more than necessary since he returned yesterday. Daryl knew he couldn't hide forever. He was running out of excuses and hiding places. To be fair to Beth, she had backed off after her daddy lectured him. He owed it to her so he might as well just bite the bullet and get it over with.

He waited for her to reach the top of the steps before speaking but when he saw her he couldn't say anything at all. Her loose flowing hair glowed golden in the moonlight. The gauzy skirt swirled around her ankles and her pink toenails peeked at him from open-toed sandals. She was so fuckin' pretty that whatever little speech he had rehearsed in his mind had disappeared.

"I brought you some water," Beth said, smiling and holding it out for him. He took it with a thank you nod and turned away. He couldn't get the thoughts straight in his head if he looked at her. She came to stand beside him and images of the last time he touched her filled his vision when he closed his eyes and inhaled her fresh scent. He could hear her breathing. He could feel her looking at him. He wanted to say something but his mouth wouldn't work. Why was it so easy for his brother to talk to women when he couldn't say a goddamn thing?

She put her hand in his and didn't say a word. That was all it took. Daryl turned her toward him and wrapped her in his arms. He rested his chin on top of her head. "Beth, darlin', I ain't no good at this. Can't say I ever been in a real relationship before." Her arms went around his waist, but she didn't say anything so he continued. "If ya still want to be with me, I'll talk to your daddy." He sighed in relief. He finally got it out. He wasn't sure that was what he wanted to say before he said it but he was willing to live with his decision if she still wanted him.

He felt her trembling against him and he wasn't sure if she was laughing or crying. He pulled away just far enough to see her face. She was smiling but still had tears. _What the fuck does that mean?_

Beth reached up to stroke his cheek. "You're sure?" she asked.

Daryl nodded then turned his head and kissed her palm.

She rose on her toes and kissed his lips lightly. "Thank you," she said and trailed her fingers down his arm as she turned to leave.

He watched as she headed back to the cell block until he couldn't see her anymore. He was confident that he made the right decision. A least he hoped he did. Well, Maybe he did. _Shit. Did I really tell her I'd talk to Herschel? What was I thinking? Awww, fuckin' hell._

* * *

As usual, Princess Judith Grimes was the center of attention at the evening meal. She giggled and inadvertently showered her loyal subjects in food with grand gestures. The seats closest to her were left for the hardy souls who had to serve her, mainly, her father. Beth and Carol had better luck feeding the baby girl alone but when the whole group was at the table she insisted on putting on a show. Tonight was no different.

Daryl dragged his tired ass in from watch and found the only chair vacant was next to the princess, across from Rick and Amanda. "Shit," he muttered looking at the little girl who grinned at him showing of her two tiny bottom teeth. He couldn't help but give her a little smile as he sat down. "What's for dinner, Lil Ass-kicker?"

Rick shook his head. He'd, along with others, tried to beat it into the redneck's head that since the baby had a name, that particular nickname was obsolete, but the man had a thick head and change didn't come easy.

Merle slid a bowl of food to his brother who served himself a large helping of Prison Surprise Stew. Daryl slurped a spoonful of the lukewarm mixture and then another and another. When he emptied the entire bowl, he looked across the table at Carol and Caesar and said, "That was damn good."

"Thank you," answered a feminine voice from the other side of Merle. Rowan leaned forward to smile at Daryl.

He didn't know if it was mocking or in gratitude. He couldn't read the damn bitch. Figures she was the one who cooked it. "My girl can make anything worth eatin'." Merle chuckled and patted his brother on the back.

Carol nudged the bowl toward Daryl. "We're done. Go ahead and take the rest."

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath. He didn't want to eat the rest because he wouldn't give Rowan the satisfaction but now he didn't want to make Carol unhappy by not eating it. It was good and he was still hungry. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. _Grudgingly, he took the bowl and refilled his own.

Hershel was watching him from the end of the table. Did Beth say something to her daddy already? Maybe he wasn't hungry after all. He rubbed his chest, maybe he was getting indigestion. Between, Rowan, Beth, and Hershel he just might lose what dinner he already ate.

"Hey Little Ass-Kicker, wanna share the rest of this with me?" he asked holding the serving bowl up for her to see.

She slapped her hands on the high chair tray and squealed. "Fuck!"

Daryl froze, the serving bowl still in his hand but the spoon fell out hitting the table with a clang that reverberated through the room.

Rick stared at him in surprise and horror then anger. "You have got to be kidding me!"

Carl's eyes were wide and his grin even wider. "Finally! She's not so cute now, is she?"

Amanda tried to hide her laughter behind her hand but wasn't doing a good job of it. She scooted away from the angry Rick to lean against Caesar who also had a hard time controlling his mirth. Carol was more restrained but Daryl would have put money on the bet that she had to bite her tongue to do it.

Beth blushed but still giggled. "I'm sorry," she said to no one in particular. "I can't help it."

Hershel just glared at him but that was nothing new. He'd just chalk that one up to another thing the old man had against him.

Now, his own dear brother Merle didn't even try to hold back. He howled and slapped Daryl on the back. "Nice job, baby brother." Rowan just laughed, quietly at least, and looked at him with something akin to pity.

"Why the fuck is everyone looking at me?" Daryl slammed the bowl on the table and stood up. "I ain't the one that taught her that shit!"

"Shit!" Judith squealed again, loving the attention she was getting at the table.

Rick glared at Daryl. "Really? Are you sure?" he asked as he picked up his stew-covered daughter and left the table.

Amanda excused herself and jumped up to follow. "He may need some help cleaning her up."

"I gotta a bar of soap for her mouth," Merle called after them. He turned to Daryl. "I got two bars for yours."

Rowan punched his shoulder. "Stop it!" she told him but couldn't hold a smile back as she shook her head.

Daryl turned on his brother. "You taught her that, didn't you?" His fists were balled up at his sides. They both still sported fading bruises from their last altercation but the younger Dixon was ready to go at it again.

Merle held up his hand. "Calm down, bro. What ya so worked up for? All kids pick up bad words."

"Goddamn it, Merle! Her first fuckin' word was fuck! And her second was shit!"

Hershel pushed his chair back noisily glaring at both Dixons. "Neither one of you boys watch your language around here. Maybe this is your wakeup call to at least show respect at the table and around the women and especially the children." He grabbed his crutches and left the dining area.

Carol and Beth started picking up the dinner dishes. Carol looked sternly at them both and said, "He's got a point. You both should heed it."

* * *

Rick put his sleeping daughter in her crib and covered her with a light blanket. He turned to Amanda and sighed. He didn't know what to say about Judith's first word, or words. Lori would have never allowed that to happen. He wasn't doing such a good job at being a father. He could keep his daughter well-fed and safe but as for growing up into a lady, he was useless. Of course, there wasn't much use these days for that type of upbringing. Amanda touched his cheek and he kissed her hand and pulled her to him. "Am I making this into too big of a deal?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know, baby. I know you wanted her first word to be daddy." She hugged him. "It could be her third word, "she offered, as they left Judith's room.

"Maybe," he said wryly. "But that will probably be 'Daryl'. He was there for her right after she was born…when I wasn't…after Lori died. If it wasn't for him…" _If it wasn't for him, Judith wouldn't have made it._ He found formula and bottles and made sure nothing happened to her when Rick should have been the one to do it. He was so caught up in his grief he couldn't even take care of his own children. What kind of a father does that? He was all they had left and he failed them when they needed him most. He couldn't forgive himself for that. He was trying but little things would remind him of those dark times and it would all come back and haunt him.

Other than his children, Mandy was the bright spot in his life. Rick wanted to tell her how much he needed her but now was not the time. He needed to be strong for her. He was trying; whether or not he was doing a good job still remained to be seen. She seemed so fragile and he was afraid she would break if he leaned on her too much.

Amanda expected Rick to be furious with Judith's vocabulary but he wasn't. Her heart broke at the sadness and guilt in his eyes. She pulled his head down for a kiss. Her lips touched his and she felt the shudder that racked his body from head to toe. He held so much in, trying to be strong for the others.

She pressed her forehead to his, eyes still closed. "What is it, baby? What's wrong?"

Rick's arms tightened around her. "Nothing," he lied. He didn't want to burden her with his guilt.

Amanda pulled back to look at him. She didn't have to see his eyes to know that he wasn't telling her the truth. Silently, she took his hand and led him to his cell, like he did for her all those weeks ago. She sank down on the edge of the bed, pulling him with her, her fingers tightening around his. She urged him to lay back and when he did she curled up against him, slipping a hand inside his shirt to rest against his chest. She just wanted to feel his skin against hers. "Talk to me, Rick."

She felt a slight rumble in his chest and looked up. "What?" she asked.

"I've been trying to get you talk for weeks, Mandy."

_True._ Why should he open up to her when she refused to open up to him? He was the one hurting. She couldn't dump her shit on him, now. "My problems can wait. I want to help you," she said

"Then tell me why you don't want to be with me again."

_Oh god, that's not what I wanted to talk about_. "Rick."

"Mandy, hon," he pulled her closer. "Please, it's killing me. I'm so sorry I let you get hurt. I'm sorry I didn't find you in time. God, I never should have let you go. Please forgive me, honey."

His hot tears fell into her hair.

"Rick, sweetie, I don't blame you. I never blamed you. It was my own stupid fault. All of it. If I had stayed closer to the truck on that supply run…I wouldn't have gotten separated…if I had stayed in Daddy's house at Woodbury…it was my fault, all of it."

He wiped her tears away. "If you don't blame me, Mandy, then why don't you want to be with me? Is it because of what happened with Merle in Atlanta?"

She shook her head. "I already told you…"

"All you said was that I wouldn't want you anymore but that's not gonna happen, Mandy. Why would you think that? I love you."

"He raped me, Rick. Crowley, the man you killed, raped me."

Rick exhaled heavily and kissed her forehead. He knew what that bastard did to her. He knew that the moment he saw her battered body when he and Daryl found her. In his mind, he could still see the bruises on her neck and arms in the shape of handprints. Though, she didn't say anything to him about her ordeal but he knew what had happened. It didn't change the way he felt, though. "I know, honey, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I still love you. That doesn't change how I feel, baby."

"Why would you even want me anymore?"

"That's what love is, Mandy. I don't know how else to make you understand. It doesn't go away because some other man hurt you. If you're not ready for me to touch you, that's okay, too. I can wait until you are. There's more to us than sex, right?" He lifted her chin and gently kissed her on the tip of her nose.

She nodded. She wanted to think so. _But what if I'm pregnant? Does that change things? What then? _Could she wait until Caesar found a pregnancy test? He didn't have any luck last time out. How long could she wait before telling Rick the rest?

"Mandy, sweetheart? What are you thinking about?" She shook her head. "Please, baby. Don't hold it in. It'll just eat away at you."

She was supposed to be comforting him. How the hell did he turn it around on her? She wanted to ask him what was upsetting him. But she couldn't get the words out. Her own worries choked the problems of others out of her thoughts. Her voice was small and he couldn't hear her words with her face buried back in his chest. Rick gently pulled backed and tilted her chin up again. "I couldn't hear you, Mandy."

"I think I'm pregnant."

Rick felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He couldn't breathe. He needed fresh air but how could he leave her? He sat up on the bed.

"Rick?"

He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her it would be okay. He wanted to but he couldn't. He didn't know if it would be okay. He was surprised that the first thought in his head wasn't that she carried another man's child but that she might die. God, the thought of losing her to childbirth paralyzed him.

"Rick?" She put her hand on his knee. "Say something. You're scaring me."

* * *

Merle stood in the doorway and watched Rowan as she wiped down the counters. She was unaware of his presence and went about her business humming a tune he didn't recognize. Her dark hair was pulled back in a high ponytail with loose strands falling in her face which she kept tucking behind her ears. The tank top she was wearing showed off her tanned shoulders while the shorts revealed her long brown legs.

He wondered if he could fuck her on the counter. She probably wouldn't want to mess up the clean surfaces, but if he bent her over one…

"Merle?"

"Hey darlin'; ya caught me!" he said closing the distance between them. He covered her mouth with his and pressed her back against the prep table.

"Caught you doing what?"

"Thinkin' 'bout you."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Always darling." His right arm went around her waist and his left hand rested lightly on her neck, his rough thumb stroking soft skin. She pressed her hands against his chest.

"We aren't doing it here," she warned him and not for the first time. He approached her two or three times a week about having sex in the kitchen.

"Why not?" he asked, while lifting her onto the table and pushing himself between her knees.

"I told you before; this is where we fix the food," she reminded him with a kiss.

Merle put his hand behind her head and pulled the band from her ponytail. "We can clean it up afterwards," he suggested pulling her hair down and spreading the dark silk across her bare shoulders.

Rowan, snorted. She'd like to see the day Merle Dixon cleaned the kitchen. "We?"

"Okay," he said grinning, and holding her hands so she couldn't smack him. "You, then."

She rolled her eyes. "And someone might walk in. Don't forget that one." How many times would they go over this? As many as it took him to wear her down most likely.

"Makes it more excitin' but if you want, we can make enough noise to scare 'em off," he said, running his hand down her back and into the top of her waistband.

She laughed and scooted closer to him, resting her feet on the top of his calves. "You have an answer for everything, dontcha?"

"Pretty much, sweetheart. Got any more excuses?"

Damn, she couldn't think of any she hadn't used before. Rowan shook her head. "Guess not." She looked at the older man she had thrown her lot in with. Never before would she have thought of spending her life with someone like him, so hard, so coarse, so everything that she wasn't. But, believe it or not, she was happier than she'd ever been with a man. Did he feel the same way about her? "Merle, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, baby doll," he said leaving a little trail of kisses from her neck to her cleavage.

"Stop a minute and listen," she ordered and tried to bring his head up. "Merle! I'm serious."

"Okay, darling," he said, reluctantly tearing himself away from the bounty of her chest.

She rested her slender hands on his broad shoulders and looked into his hard blue eyes. "Do you ever get tired of me?"

_What the fuck? Was this a trick question?_ She had on a damned good poker face if it was. He couldn't tell. "How can ya ask me that when all I ever wanna do is fuck ya?" _It is a trick question! Shit!_

"Well, back in Woodbury…I know you had more than one…_girlfriend_."

_That's 'cause I didn't have you._ "Fuck girl, I ain't even started to do all the thing I wanna do to ya, or with ya." He rubbed her thighs from knee to hip. "I can't get enough of ya." He kissed her with what he hoped was a reassuring kiss but he tasted salty tears. "Ahhh hell, Rowan, what did I do? Did Daryl say somethin'?" _Did I fuck up the answer to the trick question? _He racked his brain for what he might have done or said to upset her. Why was he doing that? He fuckin' cared about her, damn it.

"I'm pregnant."

Okay, that answer was from far left field but he wasn't upset, in fact, he was relieved that he hadn't done something wrong. Merle sighed and asked, "Is that all? Is that what your all upset 'bout?"

Rowan shrugged and then nodded, wiping away tear that slid down her cheek. "You aren't gonna ask if it's yours or if I'm sure?"

"Hell, baby," he laughed, hugging her. "Who else could be the daddy? I know you ain't been with the Governor since Blondie showed up and you and me just about fucked everyday 'cept when you was sick. Ya got time for anyone else?" Merle leaned forward and kissed her.

"You aren't mad?" Rowan asked sheepishly.

"Why the hell would I be mad? I suspected as much for a week or two. You've been bitchy as hell and ya tits are bigger. Thought it was my imagination at first, 'cause they used to be just a handful," he said, gently cupping one. "But now they fill out my whole hand nicely."

"Merle," she started to chastise him but realized he was just being honest with her. He always was. He was crude and gruff but he was also loyal and he meant what he said. That was one thing she could definitely count on with him. She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm scared."

"It'll be okay, darlin. I'm gonna take care of you." He kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, Merle," she admitted just loud enough for him to hear.

"What the..." _Oh she didn't say that, did she?_ _She just thought she loved him, must be all those female hormones and shit like that._

"I have, since the day I overhead you tell your brother you'd kick his teeth in if he called me a whore again." That's when she realized that he liked her and maybe his side of the relationship wasn't all about sex, though it was mostly about sex.

"Well don't expect me to say it back," he grumbled. He didn't know what it was like to be in love. Did he love Rowan? Was his little brother right? Fuck! He hated it when Daryl was right!

A laugh escaped her and he pulled away to look at her, puzzled. "What?" Most women would get mad if he said that and here she was laughing at him. _What the hell?_

"I think I'd fall over dead if you did say it."

Merle pulled her back against him and stroked her hair. "Bitch," he said, smiling to himself. "Now, ya want to sit up here on the counter or do ya want me to bend ya over it?"

* * *

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	29. Chapter 29

_ "Rick? Say something. You're scaring me." She pleaded with him but he didn't. Not really. Rick just sat there with his head in his hands for a few minutes which felt like an eternity of silence. He put his hand on top of hers and said, "I need to think, Mandy." Then he got up and left the cell and left her there, in his cell, sitting on his bed. Alone. She shared her deepest secret and fears and he left. _

_Finally, she had the wherewithal to get up, albeit in a daze. She was not entirely sure of what just transpired between the two of them. But it didn't feel good. She started shaking uncontrollably. She had to find Caesar. He was the only one who knew the whole story she wouldn't have to explain it again. She tried the kitchen first but only found her daddy and Rowan there and she slipped by undetected. _

_He was in the guard tower alone, thank goodness for small favors. She burst into tears and sobbed the whole story against his shoulder. Having four sisters paid off because he actually understood everything she said through her blubbering. He told her it would be alright. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back and kept repeating comforting words until she was able to stop crying. _

Amanda tucked the stray curls back into the headband as she yanked another weed from the garden. _He needed to think?_ That's what Rick said two days ago. He needed to think. _Well shit. _What exactly did he need to think about? If he could raise another man's baby? If he wanted to touch her now that she might be pregnant? He was okay until she told him there was a possibility that she could be pregnant.

_Fuck. _She should have waited until Caesar found a pregnancy test. Why didn't she listen to him? Then she could have made sure. But Rick kept pressing her to talk and she caved in. And now she was really pissed at his reaction. He said that he loved her. He asked for forgiveness. He said love doesn't go away…Then why the hell wasn't he here now?

She sat back on her heels and wiped the sweat from her brow leaving a trail of soil across her forehead. She waved when she saw Caesar coming across the field with a couple of bottles of water. Smiling, he waved and broke into a jog.

"Thought you might be needing this," he said with a smile, handing her the drink.

She drank half of the bottle down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Thanks. I really did."

"You need to be careful, Amanda. It's too hot for you to be out here long." The concern on his face was touching but right now she was a little fed up with men telling her what to do.

"I want to finish this row. Then I'll go in." she said and pulled a few more weeds, tossing them into a pail.

"Promise?" he asked, looking down at her with his hands on his hips.

She shaded her eyes glaring up at him. "Fine."

Martinez rewarded her with a bright smile. Then he poured a little of his own water on a blue bandana that he pulled out of his pocket and knelt down before her. "You got a little dirt…" he said, gesturing to her face and he gently wiped it off.

"Thanks again for taking care of me." Amanda smiled back at him. She took the bandana and wiped the rest of her face off with the cool cloth and handed it back.

"You keep it, I got another one." He shuffled his feet a little bit and watched as she went back to weeding. "Amanda?"

"Yeah?" she answered absently.

"When you're done here, why don't you keep me company on my watch?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "There's a nice breeze that blows through the guard tower. It's pretty cool there."

She looked up from her work. "I'd like that," she answered. "Thanks, Caesar."

Amanda watched as he sprinted off toward the tower to relieve Maggie and Glenn. Not including the incident in the oak tree, Caesar had never failed to treat her with kindness and respect. It was nice to have a friend like that.

* * *

Amanda scooped water out of the rain barrel with a bucket to wash the soil and sweat from her face and arms. She had weeded two rows of tomatoes and decided that Caesar was right; she didn't need to overdo it in this heat. The refreshing water felt good, so good in fact that she poured the remaining liquid over her head. _Better_ she smiled, reveling in the cool rivulets that traveled down her body.

"Hey, Possum. You okay?" Daryl could tell that she wasn't. Hell, the past two days she barely said a word, very un-Amanda like. Grimes was pretty much the same. The man was so lost in his own head; it was reminiscent of how he reacted after Lori's death but not to that extreme.

"Yeah, why?" she replied, wiping her face with a blue bandana.

He glanced toward the direction in the distance where Rick was. "He's checking the fence by himself, again."

"So?" She pretended not to care but it hurt that he wouldn't talk to her so she disguised her feelings with indifference or anger in classic Dixon style.

Daryl squinted. "So, you usually go with him." He shrugged, but watched her carefully.

"Not anymore."

"Ya'll have a fight?" _Merle would love that. _The younger brother was still surprised the two men hadn't come to blows yet. The older Dixon had changed…a lot.

Amanda tucked the bandana in her back pocket. "No, not really. I just told him I might be carrying Crowley's baby, that's all."

"Fuck." He kicked the rain barrel. He really didn't see that coming. He should have done more than put a bolt in the bastard's head.

"Yeah." Her voice was low and her bottom lip trembled betraying her act of nonchalance.

"Awww, shit." He wished he could kill the motherfucker again…beat him to death this time. He pulled his niece into a hug and kisses the top of her head. "You tell your daddy, yet?"

Amanda sniffled and fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She was so damned tired of crying. "No. I think I'll wait until I take a pregnancy test, just to make sure," she answered in a shaky voice.

"Good idea." He pulled away to look at her face. He started to ask if she was going to be okay but thought better of it and just hugged her again.

She stepped back and finger-combed her hair and put her headband back on. Daryl brushed her cheek. "I gotta go," she said. "I told Caesar I sit with him on watch."

"You ain't goin' anywhere like that," he said, and gestured to her wet shirt, especially to see Martinez. He didn't trust the man. He was too friendly for his liking. Someone that friendly had to be hiding something. Merle trusted him, but the man had yet to make Daryl at ease.

She looked down at the light colored T that clung to every curve. "Fuck." She looked up at her uncle. "Well, at least I have a bra on." She shrugged and started to walk off.

"Whoa!" He grabbed her arm. "Get back here," he said, unbuttoning his shirt. "Cover yourself up." He tossed it to her then turned around to let her change.

She laughed at him. It wasn't like she was going to take off her wet shirt. In this heat, it would dry in no time, as long as she wasn't doing anything to make herself sweat. She just slipped his shirt over the top of hers and quickly buttoned it.

"Ready," she said and kissed his cheek. "Sir, you are a prude and gentleman."

"Cut that shit out, girl," he admonished but she caught the crooked smile that threatened to form at the corner of his mouth. "Let me walk ya to the tower."

"Gladly," she said and looped her arm in his.

As they passed the clothesline, her uncle stopped and said, "Possum, let me grab a shirt," and he snagged one faded brown plaid one.

Amanda noticed Beth through the hanging sheets. The hopeless teen was staring open-mouthed at Daryl's bare chest.

_Oh my god._ "Uncle Daryl?" She cleared her throat.

"Hmm?" He slipped his arms though the sleeve holes and buttoned it deftly. "Whatcha need?"

"I think I've got it the rest of the way." She glanced over at Beth who shut her mouth and pretended to be hanging up more clothes. "Go ahead on in and get a bite to eat. I'm sure Carol put something aside for you."

"Ya sure, Possum?"

"Positive," she said and winked conspiratorially at Beth who blushed brightly.

* * *

"Hey, beautiful." Martinez greeted as Amanda topped the stairs.

She smiled at him. "Hey yourself. I brought some lemonade. I ran into Carol, she was bringing it but I told her I'd save her the trip."

"Thanks." Caesar said, grinning and then took a sip of the tart drink. "Mmmm. Good. So I guess you didn't make it?"

She laughed. "If I did, you would know why I'm not allowed in the kitchen," she answered, propping her arms on the tower wall.

He laughed. "You can't be that bad." He couldn't remember her ever in the kitchen unless it was cleaning up, though.

"You have no idea and I like you too much to subject you to my cooking." That was the truth. She was thankful that the group had enough decent cooks that she didn't have to take a turn…not that they would ever let her again.

Amanda watched him scan the landscape before them. He had a nice profile. He kept his mustache and beard trimmed and his hair short and he always wore that stupid baseball cap backwards. Not that it mattered, but he could be bald on top for all she knew. "Caesar?"

His eyes still on the horizon he replied, "Yeah?"

"Take off your hat."

He turned to look at her and repeated her request. "Take off my hat?"

"Please?" He did. He had nice thick, closely cropped midnight-black hair. "Thank you. You can put it back on now."

"Amanda, what was that about?"

"I wanted to see if you had hair."

He laughed. "Okay. You could have just asked."

"I didn't want to be too forward," she replied. "Did you leave behind anyone in Woodbury? Like a wife or girlfriend." He was a nice man, good-looking too. It would be only natural if he had a special someone. Hell, her daddy seemed to have a bevy of interested women in that place, why wouldn't Caesar? He was younger and better looking, in her opinion.

_She didn't want to be forward?_ He raised an eyebrow, wondering why she was asking. "If I had either one, I wouldn't have left them behind. Why?"

"Just curious. I don't really know that much about you other than you are a crack shot, a good cook and have four sisters. And, my daddy likes you. He doesn't like many people."

"That's pretty high praise. Nice to know. Your daddy and I went through a lot together. Dixon saved my life. He's a good man."

Amanda thought about his words for a moment. They were nice to hear and she could honestly say that she had never heard those words spoken in reference to her daddy before. Except from Rowan.

"Caesar, I believe I owe you an apology," Amanda started._ How does one go about this? _

"Really?" He couldn't think of anything the woman needed to apologize for.

"Remember when ya'll first found me? In the tree?"

Martinez nodded. Of course, he remembered. She was cute. Sassy. Telling Shupert that he'd never be able to knock her out of the tree with an arrow. She was right. Then she dropped her machete cutting off the end of Crowley's boot. He chuckled. He should have known she was a Dixon by her attitude and those blue eyes.

"Well, I just want to say I'm sorry for kicking you in the balls."

He choked on his last gulp of lemonade. That wasn't what he expected. "Lucky for me you just grazed them." He still shuddered at the memory. "Otherwise, I'd probably still be down." He squeezed her shoulder. "Besides, you were just protecting yourself. No hard feelings." Caesar hoped that she didn't have any for him. He wouldn't blame her if she did because if they hadn't captured her, she would never have been raped.

He let his hand linger on her shoulder a moment longer and he looked down at her outfit, noticing it for the first time. "Nice shirt, baby," he commented. "The Dixon in you is shining through."

Amanda chuckled and twirled around. "Redneck summer couture. I think it may even have some squirrel blood on it." She tugged at the frayed armholes of Caesar's shirt. "I see you must shop at the same place." She plopped down in one of the chairs and propped her feet up. She sniffed at the borrowed shirt and wrinkled her nose. "Eww. I should have pulled a clean one off the line too," she said absently. She bent forward and removed the foul smelling garment.

"Problem?" Martinez asked as she draped her uncle's shirt over the wall.

"It stinks. Daryl made me wear it. Just trying to protect my reputation," she joked. "I think he thought I was trying out for a wet t-shirt contest."

Caesar laughed.

"What? You think I couldn't win?" she teased, surprised that the man was actually flustered.

He held up his hands. "I wasn't laughing at you, babe, I was laughing at your uncle. He's pretty uptight."

"That is an understatement," she agreed. "But, he's alright."

"Does he know?"

She nodded. Of course she knew what Martinez was asking. It was the first thing she thought of when she woke up and the last thing before she went to bed. Until she found out for sure it would be foremost in her mind.

Caesar looked back over the road. The younger Dixon took it pretty well, apparently. He shuddered to think what the older one would do. He envisioned a one-man path of destruction from the prison to Woodbury and the once-safe, fortified community wouldn't have a building or a man left standing.

* * *

Daryl caught Beth watching him between the hanging clothes and his fight or flight instinct kicked in. "Fight" won so instead of slipping away, he went to her which really seemed to throw her off guard. He was usually on the defense while she was on the offense. "You about done?" he asked.

She nodded, blinking up at him. He grabbed her about the waist, pulled her between two rows loaded with laundry, and drew her into a passionate kiss. Her hands found their way underneath his clean shirt and against his sweaty skin. "You stink," she said.

"Want me to leave?" he asked, rubbing his cheek against hers.

"No." Beth wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body into his. "I hear you and Merle are cleaning out Cell Block B."

"Yeah, getting kind of crowded in C," he mumbled into her skin as he dotted small kisses along her jaw line. "Me, him and Rowan, and Martinez are gonna move in it. Merle wants Amanda to come also."

Beth sucked on his earlobe and said, "I want to move in with you."

"Slow down, darlin' ya ain't movin' 'less your daddy says ya can." He moved his hands down her back and rested them on her hips.

"So ask him," she said as she traced the shell of his ear with her tongue.

_Fuck._ Daryl rubbed his face and kissed her forehead. Did he want to tell her he was too chicken shit to talk to Hershel or did he want to wake up with her warm soft body next to his every morning? _Fuck_. If it didn't work out, could he send her back to her daddy? _Fuck._ She'd probably get fed up with him and leave first_. Fuck._

Sensing his hesitation, Beth pulled his head down and pressed her lips gently against his letting her tongue work its way past his not so reluctant lips. Her hands went around his waist and her fingertips slipped inside his waistband. He groaned as she traced a path from back, around his sides, stopping at the front button. Her tongue tangled with his and he put a hand on the back of her head pulling her up for deeper kiss. When they separated for air, Beth swept the sweaty hair from his forehead while brushing her other palm lightly across the growing bulge at the front of his pants. She stood on her toes, pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, "Talk to Daddy, tonight." Then she smiled, picked up a laundry basket and went inside.

"I will," he promised himself after Beth disappeared into the prison. _Holy shit._ He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, telling his body it wouldn't be much longer.

* * *

"Wake up, Ladybug." A raspy voice interrupted her sleep. Amanda opened one eye to see her daddy's concerned blue ones staring back at her.

She rubbed her face tiredly and sat up. "How long have I been asleep?" She yawned and stretched her arms over her head.

"A few hours," Martinez answered.

"You okay, baby girl?" he asked with concern, and placed his hand on her shoulder.

She nodded, pushing her unruly hair out of her face. "Just tired, Daddy."

"Well, it's time for dinner, Ladybug," he said. "Come and get a bite to eat."

"What about you, Caesar?" Amanda asked the man who had been on watch the entire time she slept.

He turned to face her and said, "Oscar will be here in a minute. I'll be in then."

She nodded and took her daddy's hand to pull herself up. She picked up her uncle's shirt from the wall and gave Caesar a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."

"For what?" He asked, touching the place where her lips had just been.

"For being a friend."

Merle and his daughter descended the stairs together and walked arm in arm toward the prison. "What's that all about? You and Martinez?"

"Nothing." She shrugged off her father's questions.

Dixon slowed his pace. "Ain't look like nothin'."

His daughter rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Oh my God, Daddy! It was just a peck on the cheek."

"You and Grimes through?" He tried to keep the wishful thinking out of his tone. _Please say, hell yes, baby girl, please._

"Daddy! I don't want to talk about it," she said instead and pulled her arm out of his.

"I do," he replied. "Seen that bastard walking alone these past few days, you two have a fight?" His prayers would have been answered if that was the case.

Amanda pleaded, "Daddy, please stop." She didn't know if they were through. She didn't know a damn thing because Rick wouldn't talk to her and she sure as hell didn't want to discuss any of it with her daddy.

"Okay, baby girl, okay. I'll give it a rest." Merle rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Ya, know, Martinez is a good man, If ya wanna start seeing him, I ain't got no complaints."

"Don't play matchmaker!" his daughter warned. That is the last thing she needed. Merle Dixon, a matchmaker? She knew the end of the world had come if her daddy was trying to set her up with a Hispanic man.

"I'm just saying…"

"Well don't!" Amanda cut him off as she jerked the door to the prison open. She turned sharply and pointed her finger at his face. "Don't you dare say anything about anything in here! Understand?"

His eyes widened and then he chuckled. It was good to see her spirit back, even if it was mean. He nodded once.

"Good," she said, taken aback by his easy compliance. He held the door and gestured for her to go through first. He followed humming a happy tune.

* * *

Daryl shoved the empty plate away. He barely tasted the meal. He was going to talk to Herschel tonight. But the others wouldn't hurry up and leave the table. They were just sitting around talking like they had nothing else to do. How the hell was he going to talk to the old man alone?

Rick was sitting at the end of the table with Judith in his lap. He was done eating and so was Lil Ass Kicker. Amanda excused herself as soon as she was finished and went to the kitchen to start on the dishes with Beth. Carol and Caesar were talking to Herschel about the garden and fall planting or something.

Carl had left to go on watch with Oscar. He didn't know or care where Glenn and Maggie were. Merle and Rowan had their heads together talking about something he couldn't make out when his brother caught him watching them. "What crawled up your ass, baby brother?"

"Don't you people have somethin' to do 'sides sit around and yap?" he grumbled a little louder than he intended for all heads turned to stare at him, even Baby Judith.

Merle smiled and patted Rowan on the leg. "I'll be back, sweetheart." He kissed her on the temple. "I think Darylina needs a little counselin'."

"Ain't in the mood."

"Don't care," said Merle, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and dragging him outside with Daryl cursing the whole way. He took a swing at Merle who backed up just in time to avoid his brother's fist.

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

"I was just getting ready to ask you the same thing. You're a bit on the grouchy side. Those blue balls botherin' ya?"

"Damn it Merle. I was goin' to talk to Hershel after dinner but ya'll won't leave the table."

The older brother slapped the younger one on the back. "Well, shit boy, all ya had to do was ask. I woulda sent 'em all packin' if I knew that." Merle put his arm around Daryl's shoulders and guided him back to the dining area. "Want me to hold ya hand?"

"Fuck off," he growled, shoving the laughing man away.

Merle saw that Grimes had already left with the booger. "Hey baby," the older Dixon beckoned to Rowan. "C'mon, let's go for a walk." He turned to his friend. "Martinez, Ladybug needs help in the kitchen. She's liable to break all the dishes. Carol, darlin', would you send Beth out here?"

Merle clapped his brother on the shoulder on the way. "It's all yours, bro."

Daryl stood, feet frozen to the floor like the proverbial deer in the headlights. Hershel sat ramrod straight at the far end of the table with his arms folded in front of him. His expression was unreadable.

Beth came out of the kitchen drying her hand on a towel. "Carol said you needed me out here," her voice trailed off when she noticed that only Daryl and her father were in the room. She grinned but bit her lip to keep it from blossoming into a full blown smile.

* * *

_**Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! Please review and let me know what you think!**_


	30. Chapter 30

_"Rick? Say something. You're scaring me." But he didn't. He didn't ease her fear. He couldn't speak. His throat tightened with terror at the thought of Mandy dying in childbirth like his wife did. He didn't want to leave Amanda but he had to get out of that cell. He couldn't breathe. He had to get some fresh air. He couldn't think. The walls closed in on him. He shouldn't have let go of her hand; he should have held it tight and took her with him. He didn't give a shit that the baby she might be carrying was another man's. He should have told her that. It was hers and that was all that mattered to him but losing her…oh God, how could he deal with that? Losing Lori almost killed him. Losing Amanda would._

Rick Grimes walked along the fence line for the second day in a row, alone. It was his fault. He messed up big time and he didn't know if he could fix this. Amanda had just come to terms with the Atlanta incident involving her father and now she had to deal with him leaving her when she most needed it. _Shit_. What the hell was wrong with him?

He barely noticed the fence for he was so caught up in his on head he barely noticed what was going on around him. When he closed his eyes, Lori came to him in his dreams, begging for help, begging him to save her, but she was just out of reach. His hand would almost touch hers and then her face changed into Amanda's. Her eyes were so sad, pleading for help, and then accusing him of not being there when she needed him. He rubbed his eyes wearily. If he went to her now, would she forgive him?

Rick glanced over to where Amanda worked in the garden. By the way she was furiously yanking the weeds, he'd say no. She didn't appear to be in a forgiving mood. Yesterday she looked hurt and sad. Today, she just looked pissed. He couldn't blame her.

He watched as Merle's man, Martinez, brought her water and she beamed at him. They talked and laughed for a moment and then he knelt down and wiped her face. She smiled and they talked a little more. The man waved and jogged off.

Rick turned away and continued the walk. Now he had another feeling to contend with, jealousy. That wasn't an emotion he ever really dealt with before. He didn't have any right to be jealous, did he? He couldn't blame her for turning to someone else but he wished it had been Daryl or Rowan.

* * *

Daryl felt like the scene was playing out before him in slow motion. One by one everyone left the dining room and he was alone with the father of the virgin. The pressure in his head threatened to pop his ear drums and he wasn't too sure that he'd be able to keep his dinner down either.

Then, Beth came in and smiled at him. He started to speak but Herschel was faster. "Is there something you want to talk to me about, young man?" His authoritative voice jerked Daryl out of his state of shock.

"Yessir," he said nervously, while running his fingers through his hair. He reached for his crossbow to put it down and realized he had already propped it against the wall before dinner. He kinda wished he'd cleaned up but he guessed it wouldn't matter. Besides it was too late now. He'd just sit downwind.

Daryl pulled out a chair and started to sit down when Beth cleared her throat. _Shit._ _What did she want? Why's she jerking her head to side? What the hell…Oh shit, I shoulda pulled the chair out for her. Fuck._ He ran around to the other side of the table and pulled the chair closest to her father out. She sat down and rewarded him with a reassuring smile.

Beth patted the chair beside hers and said, "Sit here, honey." Daryl stopped and his eye brows disappeared into his hairline. _Did she just call me honey in front of her daddy? Oh, shit!_ A sharp pain in his shin from her little foot set him back into motion and he dropped into the seat beside her. He had hoped to be a little, oh just face it, a hell of a lot, further down the table from the old man than this.

Daryl sat on the edge of his seat in case he had to make a run for it. He couldn't see any guns on Greene but he wasn't taking chances. The man was smart. Daryl folded his hands in his lap and Beth place hers on top. _Shit._ Her hand didn't need to be _down_ there. He quickly moved his hands to the tabletop and hers followed.

The silence was deafening. His own blood was pounding so loud he was sure both father and daughter could hear it. Beth squeezed his hands hard and smiled at him like she was trying to tell him something telepathically. _What the fuck? Am I supposed to start this conversation?_ Both sets of blue eyes were on him. Beth's were almost a pretty turquoise like the sea. Herschel's were light, icy, hard, cold an unforgiving like…like hell if it was made of ice instead of fire.

Beth squeezed his hand again. "Honey, did you have something to ask Daddy?"

"Umm, yes, darl-, er I mean Beth." He exhaled loudly and swallowed hard. "Sir, Mr. Greene," he started, not really knowing where he was going next. Shoulda fucking thought about it, rehearsed it, but it made him so nervous he just ignored it. _Bad fuckin' idea._ Now he was going to just look like some dumb hick without a lick o' sense. _Fuck!_ _Calm down and try it again ya stupid redneck._ "Mr. Greene, your daughter and me, have, er, um, well, sir, I like your daughter and would like your permission to see her."

The old man's frigid stare bored into his skull. "See her how?"

"Daddy," Beth interjected.

"See her how, Daryl?" he repeated.

_Naked? _Merle's voice crept into his head. _Shut the fuck up! "_Um, well, just see her without having to sneak around." _Damn, that didn't come out right._

Herschel leaned slightly forward in his chair causing Daryl to lean back in his own. "You been sneaking around with my daughter?"

"Not like that sir."

Herschel's gaze was unwavering. "Have you had sexual relations with my daughter?"

"Daddy! I can't believe you asked that!" Beth protested. She was bright red from her chest to hairline.

So was Daryl. He was sure he would spontaneously combust any second. The old man was playing hard ball and he didn't have a mitt.

"Bethie, go get your young man some water. I think he could do with a drink," he asked but it was more like an order by the tone of his voice.

_That's what I was thinking, I could use a drink but it sure as hell ain't water_, he though as he watched her leave the room as her father bid. Now he was alone with the man who thought he was…

"Have you had sexual relations with my daughter?" Herschel's even tone interrupted his thoughts.

_Sexual relations?_ "No sir?"

"You're not sure?" The man propped his chin on his hands and continued to stare at Daryl. If the redneck didn't already know Greene was a veterinarian he woulda bet that he had been a lawyer.

Daryl shifted uncomfortably in his seat, staring at his hands before forcing his eyes to look at Beth's father. "I mean we kiss and stuff but we ain't never…"

The girl's father raised an eyebrow. "And stuff?"

Shit. Daryl hesitated. He didn't know what to say. This wasn't going well at all. He practically told her dad that he felt her up and then some. He felt his face turn red. Both men turned as Beth came back before expected and for that Daryl was forever thankful that she came in when she did. He let out a sigh of relief. She carried three bottles of water. "I brought us all some." She sat a bottle in front of each of the two men and one in her place. As she sat down, she turned to her father and said, "Daddy," she said, "Don't worry. I'm still a virgin," only slight blushing as the words left her mouth.

"Fuck!" Daryl said and dropped his forehead to the table with a thud. He quickly apologized without rising. "Shit, I mean sorry. Sorry, sir." He just wanted this to be over.

Beth rubbed his back. "It's okay, baby. Sit up."

He did only to see Herschel with his teeth clenched and neck veins taut. Daryl wondered if it was from his cussing or Beth speaking so openly. Not that it mattered anymore. There was no way this conversation could be salvaged.

He stood up and placed both palms on the table. "Beth, darlin', I'm sorry I screwed this up. I tried I really did. I told ya, I ain't no good at this." He was rewarded with a soft understanding smile on the girl's face.

He swallowed and faced her father. "I like your daughter. I can't say that I love her or that it will happen but I would like very much if it did. Me, Merle, and probably Possum will be moving over to Cell Block B as soon as we get it cleaned up. I would like Beth to move in there with me." He let out his breath. "With your permission, of course."

* * *

Merle Dixon looked out over the land in front of the prison. It looked like more biters showed up. He, Daryl, and Martinez could go out tomorrow and take care of them. Didn't want too many of those fuckers collectin' around the fence.

He wondered how Ol' Man Greene was treating his baby brother. He almost felt sorry for Darylina. He laughed to himself. It was 'bout time the boy grew some balls.

Merle looked over at Rowan sleeping in the lawn chair. He couldn't help but smile at the young woman. She was carrying his baby. He would be here this time. He didn't even know that other bitch was pregnant with Amanda. He didn't know anything about his daughter till her momma showed up with her one day and told him she was his. This time would be different. At least he liked Rowan.

As if she knew he was thinking about her, she made little sounds in her sleep and shifted in the chair. Her eyes opened slowly and she looked around, disoriented for a moment. Her gaze settled on the older man she had taken for a lover for the simple purpose of staying alive. They never would have come together if it weren't for this freaking apocalypse. She didn't regret her decision. She loved him. She carried his baby.

"You 'bout ready to go back to the cell block?" he asked, leaning over to kiss her upturned face. She wrapped her arms around his neck and traced the outline of his mouth with her tongue. "Don't start nothing here, darlin'," he groaned. "My watch ain't over for a couple of hours."

"Consider it foreplay, then," Rowan teased.

"Foreplay?" He snorted. "Don't need no foreplay, baby doll. I'm ready whenever you are." He took her hand and put it on the impressive bulge in his pants.

"Shit, Merle. That was fast," she commented, one brow raised.

"Not really darling," he said, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth. "Mmmm. I been thinking 'bout ya all day." She jumped slightly when she heard the side door to the prison slam shut.

"Fuck," Merle muttered, standing up straight to adjust his pants. He could see his brother making his way over. "It's just Daryl."

"That is my cue to leave." She stood and gave him a quick kiss. "Come get me from Amanda's cell." Rowan paused a moment and gave him a wicked smile. "That is, if you're still in the mood."

"Pfft." He smacked her ass. "Get on out of here, crazy woman." _In the mood? _He couldn't remember not being in the mood.

Rowan turned, laughing, ready with a smartass comeback but slipped on the top step and went tumbling down with a scream.

"Rowan!" Merle shouted, running after her.

* * *

Herschel sat at the table with his youngest daughter pondering the words of the redneck who wanted to court her. Court wasn't the exactly the right word. He wanted to go straight to living with her. How was he supposed to be okay with that?

"Daddy?" Beth put her hand over his, drawing him out of his private thoughts.

He sighed wearily and looked at her. Beth had changed over the past year in ways a young girl shouldn't have to. She had to grow up too fast and missed the carefree life of a teenager to become a survivor in this hellish world. "What do you want, Doodlebug?" His voice was low and tired.

"I want to be with Daryl, Daddy. I want to move to Cell Block B with him. He said we had to ask you first."

"I hope you realize the seriousness of the decision. This group is like a family and if something were to go wrong it wouldn't be just between you and Daryl. It would affect the whole group." He met her gaze and held her small, smooth hands in his larger wrinkled ones. "If this is what you choose, you must see it through. Do you understand that, Bethie?"

"Yes, Daddy. I do."

* * *

Daryl headed to the tower. He didn't have guard duty tonight but his brother did. He needed someone to talk to and fuck if Merle wasn't the only one he could talk to about this shit. Possum had her own problems and he wasn't going to dump his on her.

"Hey, Merle!" He called up. He took the stairs two at a time until he heard a woman's scream. He looked up just in time to see a falling mass of arms, legs and dark hair tumbling toward him.

"Shit!" he yelled as she crashed into him knocking them both against the wall. He braced his foot on the lower step to stop their descent. "Get off me." He struggled but Rowan clung to his neck, crying and gasping for breath.

"Oh God, thank you!" she sobbed against him.

"Rowan!" Merle yelled as he ran down the steps, stopping to kneel on the step above his brother and girlfriend. He pushed Rowan's black hair out of her face and ran his hand down her side, stopping at her stomach. "Baby, you hurt?"

Daryl saw something in his brother's cold blue eyes that he'd never seen before. Fear. _What the hell? _It was obvious the woman wasn't hurt bad. _Clumsy bitch._

She wiped her face on Merle's shirt. "I think I sprained my ankle and my wrist." She let Merle look at the bruised limbs.

"Are ya sure that's all, darlin'?" His brother didn't sound convinced.

Rowan nodded. "Daryl caught me. He saved me." She turned around to face the man she was sitting on and kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she said quietly with tears in her eyes.

He sat there stunned while Merle pulled her to her feet. "I want Herschel to have a look at ya."

"I'm fine, baby," she insisted. "It's just a sprain."

"Better make sure," he replied, scooping her up in his arms.

She squealed. "Merle! This isn't necessary."

He ignored her and spoke to Daryl. "Brother, take my watch a while so I can make sure she sees the doc?"

"Yeah, sure, Merle," he answered, somewhat befuddled by both Merle and his woman's odd behavior. He shrugged it off and went to the top of the tower to await his brother's return. He had his own problems to think about.

Merle hovered over Rowan while the old man tried to examine her until Herschel finally told him to back off. "Doc, she's pregnant." Greene nodded in understanding, like he already knew. Dixon didn't step back much but Herschel was able wrap her wrist and ankle and cleaned up her skinned knees without too much "supervision."

After he made sure Rowan was resting soundly, Merle hunted down Herschel to thank him for taking care of her and to put in a good word for his brother.

"Thanks," he said simply. "She gave me a scare." _What the fuck did he say that for? Dixons don't admit fear to anyone. _But when he saw her fall… his heart stopped beating. In those few seconds Merle thought he'd lost everything that made this world bearable.

"There's somethin' else I wanna talk to you about." Merle shook off the unwanted feelings and turned to the older man. "I can understand you being concerned about my brother's interest in your daughter."

Herschel eyed him warily.

"Daryl's rough 'round the edges but he's got a good heart. He was always the sensitive one. Our ma died young and our daddy, well ain't no way to say it nicely, he was a drunk and spent more time with whores than he did us. I did the best I could raising the boy but I weren't much more than a kid myself."

Herschel didn't say anything but nodded to the other man to continue.

"My brother ain't never gonna let your girl go without food or a safe place to live. When she becomes "family" he'll lay his life down for 'er, hell, he'd do that now. He's a good kid," the older Dixon paused in thought for a moment. "Hmpf. I guess he ain't a kid no more. He's grown into a fine man since I last seen him, before this happened." He held up the arm with a missing hand.

"I appreciate your words," Herschel responded, noncommittally.

Merle nodded once. "That's all I gotta say." He left the man there to ponder his words while he went to relieve his baby brother from watch.

* * *

Daryl took another swig from the bottle of whiskey his brother brought to the guard tower. He figured Daryl would need something strong after talking to Ol' Man Greene. Merle was an asshole but he'd come through for Daryl when he needed it most. The younger Dixon savored the warmth of the liquid comfort that spread throughout his body to his fingertips and all the way down to his toes.

"What's the verdict, baby brother?" the older man asked without turning around. He couldn't see much in the dark but he could still hear pretty well. Both Dixons kept their voices low to prevent them from carrying past the confines of the tower.

"Ain't got one yet." Daryl scratched his head and sighed, taking another drink. "He said he'd think about my words." Daryl handed the bottle to his brother.

"Hmpf." Merle tipped it up and took a gulp. "Guess ya can't ask for more than that."

"Guess not." He eyed his brother's stony profile and asked, "What's up with you?"

Merle handed the bottle back and instead of brushing the question off like he'd planned to do, he answered plainly, his expression not changing, "Rowan's pregnant."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

Daryl took a sip and handed it back. "You need this more than me."

"I guess," he said, taking another swig.

"I'm gonna be an uncle again." _and again…to Amanda's baby. Holy shit, Merle's gonna be a granddaddy and a daddy. _Daryl waved off the bottle when his brother held it out. "You really gonna need it more than me," he mumbled, half to himself, not really intending to say it out loud.

He turned to stare at his brother. "I'm alright with it. Maybe I'll do better this time."

"Ain't what I meant." _Fuck._ Jack done loosened his lips.

Merle set the bottle down carefully on the wall. "What do ya mean?"

Daryl shook his head. He fucked this up. Ain't no way his brother was going to let him get away without telling him. What did he fear more…his niece's wrath or his older brother's? _Fuck it!_ "Possum may be pregnant too."

* * *

**Thanks to Siarh for being a wonderful sounding board.**

**Please drop me a line to let me know what you think.**

**Happy reading!**


	31. Chapter 31

Through a haze of alcohol, Daryl stared at the bottle of Jack on the tower wall for a few seconds before he realized his brother was flying down the stairs of the tower. _Where the fuck was he- OH FUCK!_

"Merle!" the younger Dixon yelled, racing to the stairs. Merle was already on a dead run for the cell block. "Oh fuck!"

* * *

"Grimes! I'm gonna cut your fuckin' dick off!"

Amanda shot straight up in her bunk at the sound of her father's angry shout. _Oh God, now what? _She ran out into the common area to see her daddy throw himself at Rick. She screamed, "Daddy! Stop!"

"Ya fuckin' son of a bitch!" Merle Dixon threw a punch that snapped Rick's head back but the man didn't go down. "I'm gonna fuckin' kill ya, ya bastard!"

Carl shouted, "Dad!" and ran towards his father. Oscar grabbed him by the back of the neck almost lifting the struggling boy off of his feet. "Let me go! He's gonna kill my dad!" Carl demanded frantically and pulled out his gun but the big man was faster and snatched it from his shaking hands before the kid could take aim. He tucked it in the back of his pants and kept a firm grip the boy.

Rick dodged the next wild swing from the older man as if his life depended on it, which it did by the sound of the other man's fury. He had no clue as to why Merle was so enraged. He swung his own fist connecting sharply with Dixon's jaw.

Daryl skidded to a halt right before he crashed into the brawl. "Fuck, Merle!" he yelled. "Goddamn it! Cut it out!" Daryl tried to grab his brother but got knocked on his ass for his efforts. He quickly jumped back to his feet and he and Martinez were able to drag a screaming, cussing, kicking, and swinging Merle away from Grimes.

Rick lunged at Dixon but the much bigger ex-con, Oscar, let go of Carl and tackled the ex-cop from behind.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill ya, Grimes!" Merle screamed, trying to work his way free from the two younger men that were struggling to hold him. "Let me go, ya fuckin' assholes!"

"Shut the fuck up, asshole!" Daryl shouted over his out-of-control brother. "Rick ain't the daddy!"

Merle and Rick both stopped struggling and stared at the younger Dixon. Merle spoke first, "What'd you say, boy?"

"He ain't the daddy." Daryl let go of his brother.

The heavy breathing of both combatants was the only sound in the cell block.

Amanda looked around the room. No one moved. It was like a stop-action film, a photograph that captured a tiny moment in time. Slowly, the subjects began to stir.

Her daddy stared at her, confused. His first thought had been that the motherfucker dumped her because he had knocked her up. But if Grimes wasn't the baby daddy, who the hell was? He stared hard at his daughter, trying to make the pieces fit. The only name that came to mind..._Oh fuck no!_ Merle felt his knees give a little, an overwhelming uneasiness filling his stomach, and a pounding in his head. _Crowley._ His shoulders slumped in defeat. Rowan hobbled from the doorway to stand next to him. She slipped her hand in his.

Oscar stood and backed away allowing Rick to sit up. Carl ran to his father's side and threw his arms around him. "I'm okay, son," Rick assured his boy, patting his back. He rose to his feet a bit unsteadily and made his way to the table to sit down. Amanda looked so hurt and alone right now and that was just as much his fault as anyone else's.

Daryl wouldn't meet her eyes. Amanda didn't know if she was more hurt or more angry because her uncle had betrayed her confidence. She walked over to him and looked up forcing him to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry, Possum," he mumbled.

She clenched and unclenched her fists. She wanted to hit him but…she didn't have the energy. "I should have been the one to tell Daddy," she said quietly, her voice full of pain, and with tears in her eyes she slowly turned away and headed out of the cell block.

She paused to touch her daddy's shoulder. "I'm sorry that you had to find out like this." Her voice cracked.

As she started to leave, he reached for her. "Why didn't you tell me, Ladybug?" The fight had gone out of him and he sounded weary.

"I didn't want you to blame yourself," she said simply.

* * *

Rowan sat on the side of the bunk by Merle with her arm around his shoulders. His head was down resting in his hand. His right arm was on her thigh. "It's my fuckin' fault," he said over and over again. "I should have protected her better."

She gently removed the prosthesis from his right arm and set it to the side. Rowan unrolled the soft strips of fabric that she had wrapped around the tender flesh of his stump for protection. He winced but didn't pull away or say anything. She slipped his shirt off of his shoulders, leaving only the black wife beater on. "Stay in here with me tonight," she whispered softly in his ear.

Rowan pressed her lips to the side of his bruised face and dipped down to kiss his mouth. He was trembling beneath her hands and she was afraid he would break at any moment. It was taking all the strength he had not to fall apart. She knelt on the floor and took off his boots and socks. She unbuckled his belt and helped him slide out of his pants.

She gently pressed him back on the mattress and crawled beside him, pulling the light blanket over them both.

* * *

Hershel watched his youngest daughter be enveloped in the younger Dixon's arms. For a man who kept his emotions well hidden, pain and regret was clearly evident on Daryl's face. Beth put her arms around his waist and he kissed the top of her head. He whispered something to her and she smiled sadly up at him. He leaned down and gave her a tender kiss.

Hershel sighed. He realized then he'd already lost his baby girl to another man. Nothing he could do or say would change things.

* * *

"Who's on watch?" Rick asked to no one in particular. Merle had been but he knew the man wouldn't be going back tonight.

"I'll do it," Oscar volunteered. "Don't think I'm gonna get much sleep, anyway."

"Me either," Carol said. "I'll join you."

"Thanks." Rick nodded. "I need to check on Judith. I thought I heard her fussing."

"Dad, I'll get her," Carl offered.

"Thanks, son, I'll grab her bottle and meet you there," the older Grimes said, rising and putting a hand on his son's shoulder.

* * *

Amanda was at a loss. Her daddy was crushed. Daryl was no longer a trusted confidante. Rick was…lost. She wandered the corridors of the prison with a flashlight and a baseball bat, trying to figure out how thing got to be such a mess. Not that it mattered. It couldn't be changed. There was no going back. Going forward wasn't very promising either. She had never felt so alone in her life.

She wanted her momma. Rachel Landry would understand, if she was still alive, which Amanda doubted very much. She would listen and tell her everything would be okay and then they would eat something sinfully sweet and chocolate-covered. She and her mother would shop at all the malls and buy some ridiculously expensive new shoes or get their nails done. She missed her momma so much.

Amanda fought back the tears. She was so damn tired of crying. She was so fucking tired of struggling just to survive. And for what? There was nothing to show for it…_except_ being alive…not being one of the walking dead. Was it really worth it?

She wanted to give up, to lay down and die. Maybe she wasn't a Dixon after all. She slid down the wall with her back against the cold rough surface and pulled her knees to her chest. She wondered if this was the corridor that was just around the corner from the infirmary where she and Rick made love for the first time. The only time.

"Amanda?"

She lifted her head to see the dark outline of a man in the dimly lit hallway. _Caesar_, she knew by the stupid ball cap he always wore backward. "How'd you find me?"

"Luck." He stretched out a hand. "Let me walk you back, baby. You shouldn't be here by yourself."

"I'm fine," she said and patted the baseball bat beside her. "Most of the walkers have been cleared out." Amanda crossed her arms over her knees and put her head down. "Besides, I don't want to face any one right now."

Martinez knelt before her, laying a hands on her arms. "You haven't done anything wrong."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I just can't."

"Okay," he said, moving around to sit beside her. He was worried and not about to leave her alone in her current emotional state. The look on her face when she left the cell block told him that she was hurting too much to care about her own safety at the moment. If she wasn't going to watch out for herself, he would.

"I guess it wouldn't do me any good to tell you to go away?" she asked without looking up.

"I'll go as far as the end of the hall but I can't in good conscience let you get out of my sight in here. You're upset and it's not _that_ safe, sweetheart."

"Don't get mad if I pretend you aren't here," Amanda muttered.

He chuckled, "I'll try not to." Martinez turned his hat around and pulled the bill down over his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. He stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles. His hands were folded in his lap.

Now she couldn't think anymore, not with him sitting beside her with his shoulder just barely touching hers. He wasn't talking or even moving but his presence was disconcerting. His breathing was slow and even. Could he already be asleep? She wondered if he'd notice if she left. Silently as possible, Amanda inched away from her self-appointed guardian.

"Where you going?"

Amanda slumped back down to the ground with an irritated huff. "Damn it. I thought you were asleep."

"Just resting," he said, lifting his hat to look at her. "You were going to leave me here, supposedly asleep, at the mercy of a stray biter?"

"Sorry, Caesar. I didn't think it through." She craned her neck back resting the top of her head against the cold cement behind her, her eyes focused on the dark ceiling. "I just wanted to see if I could slip away undetected."

He just laughed at her. "Well, you sure as hell can't sneak away when I'm still awake."

"And perfectly capable of handling any walker that comes your way so don't try to lay a guilt trip on me." Then Amanda's voice changed to a more serious tone. "What do I do now, Caesar?"

"About what, baby?" He turned his head to catch her eyes but her gaze was focused on the wall directly across from them.

"Everything," she sighed. "Daddy…"

"Honey, there's nothing to do. Your daddy is a grown man. He just needs to process the information and I bet he'll come around soon." He squeezed her hand.

A tear slid down her cheek. "It's so hard."

He put his arm across her shoulders. "You don't have to do it alone."

She laid her head on his shoulder. "I am so mad at him."

"Rick? Or Daryl?"

That was a fair question. "I _was_ talking about Rick, but I'm mad at him, too." She wiped her face with a small sigh. "I don't understand why Rick is running away from me. He kept saying how much none of it mattered until I told him that I might be pregnant. Then he shut down completely. He won't even look at me."

"Maybe he has some stuff to work out," Caesar suggested.

"Well, I have stuff to work out too," Amanda retorted.

"I know you do." He squeezed her shoulders. "Go talk to him, confront him and make him talk to you."

"What if I don't like what he says?" Her voice quivered at the thought.

Caesar shrugged. "Well at least you will know."

"What?" Her voice turned hard. "That he thinks I'm a used up piece of trash?"

"Amanda," he chided. "He doesn't think that."

"And you know this how?" Because some days that was exactly how she felt so why wouldn't Rick think the same? Amanda couldn't help feeling that way. She had scars both inside and out and she was pretty sure they would never go away.

"Just talk to the man." He pulled his hat down again and crossed his arms over his chest.

_That was it?_ If that was all the advice he had, it stunk. "What are you doing?"

Caesar recrossed his ankles. "Resting and giving you some privacy so you can go back to thinking too much."

"Privacy?" She snorted and shoved his rock hard shoulder. "There is no privacy in this prison."

"I know a place you can go to get away from the others and still be safe."

Amanda lifted her head and raised a brow. "Where?" she asked, skeptically.

Putting his hat on right, he stood up and brushed off the seat of his pants. "I'll show you."

She sighed heavily and took his hand letting him pull her up with him and into an embrace. She buried her head in his chest and bit back a sob. _Dixons don't cry_…so she shuddered with the effort of holding the tears back and he squeezed her tighter. "It's gonna be okay, Amanda."

* * *

Daryl had to get out of the cell block. Now. He wanted more space and more oxygen. He swung the door open wide and inhaled the fresh night air. He also wanted the more of that Jack.

"Daryl?"

_Fuck_, he almost forgot about Beth in his need to get out of the prison. "Sorry, darlin'. Couldn't breathe in there."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her along the guard tower. "Gotta get something. Wait here. I'll be right back." He kissed her quickly then climbed the steps. Beth leaned against one of the tower supports and watched him head up.

"Hey, man," Oscar greeted him. "Everything alright?"

Carol gave a little two-finger wave and smiled. "Helloooo, Daryl Dixon."

_What the hell? _Daryl looked at her like she had two heads. "Yeah," he turned back to the ex-con, "Ya'll didn't happen to see a bottle of whiskey up here, did ya?"

Carol burst into giggles and held up the bottle. "Is this the one you 'lost'?" she asked twirling it around in her hand. It flew out of her tenuous grip and the big man snagged it right before it hit the ground. "Oopsy daisy." She covered her mouth with both hands.

Good thing Oscar was quick. Whiskey was getting hard to come by these days. Daryl reached for it and the other man tossed it to him. _Shit!_ "Careful!" Dixon warned as he caught it…the bottle was empty!

_Unfuckingbelievable!_ "You drank all my whiskey?" Daryl asked, incredulously.

Oscar wouldn't meet the redneck's glare. "Don't look at me, man. I'm on watch."

"It was just sitting on the wall. Abandoned. All alone," Carol said in a sing-song voice and giggled again. "We thought you were through with it."

Oscar snorted. "We?"

"Carol?" _No way._ Daryl looked at the woman in utter surprise.

She gave him a little peck on the cheek. "Sorry, Daryl." Then the drunken woman burst into laughter once more and admitted, "Not really that sorry. It was good."

"Damn. Crazy ass woman," Daryl muttered and shook his head on the way down the stairs.

* * *

Cell Block B? He brought her to Cell Block B? "Really, Caesar?" Amanda thought it would be at least another week of work before it was livable.

"Have some faith," Martinez said, going in before her for a quick safety check. "Look around."

She shone her flashlight into the cells, the freshly cleaned cells. There were pillows, sheets and blankets on all the bunks.

"Wow, when did ya'll do this?" she asked in amazement, stepping into one of the tiny "rooms" to have a closer look.

"We've been working on it a little every day. Your dad is in a hurry to move in." That was an understatement. Dixon wanted to be away from Grimes in the worst way and didn't bother hiding the fact. Caesar watched as Amanda walked the length of the cellblock, lightly dragging her fingers across the bars.

"Why didn't anyone ask me to help?" she wondered out loud.

"You were doing other things," Caesar answered. "Beth took care of the bedding. I think Carl helped her bring it over from the laundry."

"Which cell is mine?" she asked walking back toward the smiling man.

"Take your pick, Amanda. You get first choice."

She smiled at him then poked him in the ribs. "They all look just the same to me. But, I'll take a closer look." She tested out each mattress until she finally settled on one at the end furthest from the door. "This one," she said. "I'll take it."

"It's all yours, sweetheart," he said, arms propped on either side of the door to the cell she picked out.

"Thank you, Caesar."

"My pleasure."

* * *

Rick lay wide awake in his bunk with his baby girl asleep in the crook of his arm. He listened to Carl's steady breathing from the top bunk.

The look on Mandy's face about did him in tonight. The pain. The betrayal. He practically watched her family fall apart before his eyes.

Where did she go? She left the cell block and he never heard her come back. He was listening. He heard Daryl talking to Beth and it sounded like they left together.

Rick wondered if Mandy was alone. He hoped not. She shouldn't be, not at a time like this. He should be with her but he screwed up royally and he didn't know if she would ever forgive him. He really should check on her…make sure she's okay…_Shit_. Rick sat up carefully so as not to wake his daughter. He gently picked up Judith and put her in her crib and waited until she settled back into sleep. He had to find Mandy.

* * *

Amanda woke with a jolt in total darkness in an unfamiliar cell with unfamiliar arms around her.

"I got you," said a sleepy voice, arms pulling her closer to a warm hard chest. Caesar kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep, baby."

She settled back against him. She didn't mean to fall asleep with Caesar but when she stretched out on the bunk she didn't want to be alone. She patted the space beside her and he sat down without a word and removed his boots. He lay on top of the covers as she did and turned on his side to face her. Pulling her into his arms, he held her until she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

Merle lay awake in a cell on the bunk with Rowan's back against his chest. His left hand rested on her hip. His right arm was bent under his head. There was no way he could fix things for Amanda but he could make it safe for the rest of them. He would kill every last motherfucker in Woodbury. He just hadn't decided if he was going to kill that snake they called the Governor first or last.

He wanted the man to watch the total annihilation of the town they built but he was a slippery bastard and Merle wouldn't take a chance of letting him get away. The old Merle would love to watch the man suffer a long slow death, but this Merle, the man he was right now, was going to be a daddy for the second time…and a granddaddy for the first and there was no fuckin' way in hell he was going let any harm ever come to his kin again.

* * *

Daryl was disappointed that his whiskey was gone but he guessed it was for the best since that's what got him into trouble in the first place. He retrieved his sleeping bag and poncho from the perch and told Beth to grab some pillows. "We're sleeping under the stars tonight."

She met him at the cell block door with her arms fully loaded.

"Holy shit, darlin'. I said some pillows, not everythin' ya own." Why the fuck did women need so much stuff? That was something he would never understand.

"Hush," she scolded. "I just brought a few things I thought we might need. I have water and crackers, an extra blanket, a…"

_A few things? He could fuckin' camp out for a week with less than the amount of shit she brought._ He cut her off, "We're just goin' to the courtyard, sweetheart." But he took some of her "supplies" since she could barely see over them and steered her out the door by the elbow.

When they reached their destination, Daryl unzipped his sleeping bag, spread it on the grass, and got out of the way as Beth went to work. She fluffed the pillows, lay the extra blankets on top and put a bottle of water on each side of the bed. She placed her backpack at the "head" of the makeshift bed and pulled the covers back, climbing in first.

Daryl laid his crossbow on the ground within easy reach then made himself comfortable, laying down on the "bed" she had made for them. He crossed his arms behind his head and looked up at the stars. She lay down and curled against his side. The nights hadn't started cooling down yet so it was really too warm for the extra blankets. He put his arm around her.

The night sky was full of stars with no other light to dim their brilliance. It reminded Daryl of camping out when he was younger. He used to pretend there was no one else left in the world and he like it that way. "When I was a kid," he started softy, "sometimes I'd sleep outside to hide from my ol' man when he was drunk."

Beth slipped her hand inside his shirt and rested it on his stomach, fingers idly playing in the sparse hair of his abdomen. He never talked about his father before. Her heart broke at the words he spoke.

"He used to beat the shit outta Merle so when he left, Daddy'd beat the shit outta me." His voice was distant and unemotional. "I'd look up at the stars and pretend I was anywhere else but the shithole I lived in." He rarely thought of his ol' man any more. Wasn't sure why he was telling her about him now. He stroked her smooth shoulder and ran his fingers absently through her pale hair. Maybe he wanted Beth to know where he came from. To know just how ugly his life had been…

* * *

Caesar woke up just before dawn and Amanda was still in his arms. It felt so right. What the fuck did he have to do for this to happen every day? He brushed wild curls from her face. Her lips were slightly parted. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to do a whole lot more but he was willing to wait.

Her eyelashes fluttered as she began to wake; she stretched lazily in his arms and then snuggled back into his chest. He kissed the top of her head, "Sleep well, baby?"

She nodded, dark curls tumbling into her face again. She shook her head tossing them back. She smiled up at him. He cupped her face with his hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Amanda placed her hand flat against his chest, smoothing out the wrinkles in his t-shirt. She had a troubled look on her face already. "What if the baby looks like _him_?"

"What if it doesn't?" Martinez tried to ease her worries. "What if it looks like you?"

"What if I can't love it?" Her voice quivered at the thought. This wasn't the first time she worried about that.

He pulled her tighter against him. "Baby, don't worry about those things now. You aren't even sure if you're pregnant."

"Caesar, I haven't had a period for three months."

"I told you before. You won't be alone." He hugged her. "I'll take care of you."

"You don't…"

"I want to," he insisted, his dark eyes seeking out her blue ones.

She wiped the tears away. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

She sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed and slipped her feet into her shoes. She was as ready as she'd ever be to face the group.

He ran a finger along the pale flesh of her back that showed between her shirt and the waistband of her shorts and then pulled the hem down to cover her skin. She tensed at his touch but only for a moment. Then she smiled at him and asked, "Think there'll be any breakfast ready with you in here?"

He laughed at sat up beside her and pulled his own boots on. "I guess we'll find out."

* * *

**Thanks to my new followers, reviewers and guests...and especially to the reviewers who have been there since the beginning of this story! Your kind words and encouragement keep this tale going.**

**As always thanks to my proofreader, hand-holder, editor, Siarh who keeps me true and in line when I accidently wander of the path or forget what I wrote in a previous chapter. It's a full time job.**


	32. Chapter 32

_**This chapter is dedicated to siarh who has been ever so 'patiently' waiting at least 15 chapters for some cherry pickin'...hope it lives up to your expectations.**_

* * *

Beth shuddered and stirred the gruel in the bowl that sat on the table in front of her. It was lumpy, cold, and tastes like…she had no idea, never tasted anything like it before but she imagined it might be akin to pig slop. This was partially her fault. She overslept and missed breakfast duty. She'd make sure that never happened again, not if this was the result of it. A sideways glance at Daryl spooning the nasty stuff into his mouth…like a pig…told her that he had no qualms about eating anything set before him presented as food.

Seeing him this morning in broad daylight made her blush a bit just thinking about what happened last night. The things that man did with his mouth and tongue…_Lord have mercy. _Her face burned even hotter as a warm tingling feeling settled in her lower stomach at the memory that threatened to resurface in full right here at the table.

_She had been horrified by what Daryl had said about his dad. She knew stuff like that happened but she never knew anyone that it happened to. He grabbed her and kissed her until she couldn't breathe. When he loosened his grip, he was gasping for air too. She could see him clearly in the moonlight and the look on his face was one she had never seen before…determined...almost feral in its intensity._

_Daryl sat up abruptly, bringing her with him, his eyes never leaving hers. He pulled her shirt over her head and she fought the urge to cover her breasts with her arms even though she was wearing a bra. She dropped her gaze as she felt heat and color spread across her chest and cheeks. He lifted her chin gently. "Do you still want this?"_

_Yes, of course she did, she just wasn't expecting it tonight. She nodded._

_He stroked her flushed cheek. "You're shy all the sudden," he teased gently, the corner of his mouth turned up in a crooked smile that made her stomach flip._

_"It's so…light out here." Beth kind of thought it would be dark. She didn't realize they would do it outside, totally naked for the whole world to see. _

_"I wanna see ya when I fu—make love to ya," Daryl said, brushing her long golden hair over her shoulders with his fingers._

_Beth swallowed and inhaled deeply and in a moment of brazenness and false confidence, she unhooked her bra from the front, letting it fall open. _

_Daryl's blue eyes immediately dropped to her bare breasts. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed, under his breath._

_Her arms flew up but he was quicker and grabbed them, holding both down by her sides. "No baby, that's good. Better 'an good. Don't hide yourself from me."_

"Beth, darlin', pass me some more o' that," Daryl asked with his mouth full and pointed with his spoon to the large bowl of breakfast mush in the center of the table. He avoided looking directly at her because since last night…he could only see her naked body. Now that he knew what she looked like without clothes, his mind automatically undressed her.

_Her tits were small but so fuckin' perfect. Pale, round, small pink nipples puckered into pebbles…he reached out for them and when his palms flattened against the smooth skin, her eyes closed and she leaned into his hands. He kneaded them gently and bent down to kiss each perfect one. Her small hands gripped his forearms as he increased the pressure. A small moan escaped her lips and her head fell back. _

_Daryl slid his hands down her flat belly to the top of her skirt and pulled at the elastic waistband. "Stand up," he ordered, huskily and she rose on shaky legs balancing herself with a hand on his shoulder. He wanted a close-up and personal view…and another taste. "Take off your skirt." She complied, slipping the gauzy fabric down her hips to let it pool at her ankles. _

_His breath caught in his throat as she stood there before him only in a pair of pink panties, skin like ivory in the moonlight. He had touched her there before but he had never laid eyes on her naked body. She was even more beautiful than he could have imagined and she was giving herself to him. He leaned forward and kissed the satin triangle slipping his hands under the lace to hold onto her soft round ass. Fuck, this has gotta be heaven, he told himself. _

_Daryl pulled her to his mouth and sucked her through the thin fabric. Her head dropped forward and her hair fell onto his face as her fingers dug into his shoulders through the worn fabric of his shirt._

_He slid her panties down and buried his face in the soft blond curls already dampened from his mouth. She was wet, but he wanted her wetter_…_so wet that he'd slide right in…no resistance until he reached her cherry._

_He flicked his tongue over the velvety flesh and held on tight to her hips to keep her still so he could continue his exploration. With every stroke of his tongue she whimpered, each louder than the previous. His fingers parted the wet folds and he pushed one just inside her opening as he continued to tease her with the tip of his tongue. When he found the tiny pink pearl he pulled at it gently with his lips until her whimpering turned into a full blown wail and she grabbed at his hair almost pulling it out at the roots when she fell apart in his mouth._

Beth caught Merle watching her with a curious look on his face. _Oh lord, can he tell? _She glanced at him beneath her lashes and a wide grin spread across his face. He nodded and winked at her and went back to trying to eat his meal. Apparently he was pickier than his brother about the quality of the food. But now she felt the flames spread across her face and to her lower regions as visions of last night pushed their way to the forefront of her mind.

_Beth thought she might have passed out because when she opened her eyes she was on her back on a stack of pillows. The stars above were so very bright as she watched them dreamily through half-closed eyes. How could she have ever thought the man was a virgin? What Daryl just did to her with his tongue surpassed anything his fingers ever made her feel. Every muscle in her body was either tingling or twitching or both. And on top of that, she was pretty sure she was as naked as the day she was born and she didn't even care._

_Daryl's hands traveled from her hips, down her thighs, and stopped behind her knees. He spread her legs wide and she tried to focus on him…on his face…his blue eyes were veiled by his lashes. He still had his shirt on. She wanted to take it off of him but her muscles refused to respond so she just lay as his eyes roamed her body. Her breath quickened when his hands slid up her thighs. Rough knuckles barely brushed across her swollen center and her body bucked at this slight but intimate touch._

Daryl nudged her Beth's arm and nodded to her bowl. "You gonna eat that, sweetheart?" he asked. Beth shook her head and slid it to him.

His brother cocked his head and smirked at him. "You're awful hungry this morning, bro." he commented for no particular reason Daryl could think of. _Was he trying to start something?_

"So," the younger Dixon said, with a mouthful of gruel. "Got lots of work today, need my energy." Especially after using it all up last night, he thought, but kept that part to himself.

_Beth lay back naked on the pillows, her wild hair glowed around her face like a halo…she looked like the angel she was. His hands held her hips…his scarred, calloused, sun-darkened hands. Daryl was mesmerized by the contrast of her soft pale flesh to his rough darker skin as he stroked the length of her thighs. _

_He liked getting her off before but to have access to every inch of her naked body was an entirely new opportunity…Daryl wished she wasn't a virgin because he wanted her so bad right now. He wanted to sink his cock in hard and deep and not stop til he reached the end. _

_He spread her legs and brushed her swollen pussy with the back of his knuckles, smiling when Beth quivered at the contact. God she turned him on…the way her body responded to his slightest touch...he was so fucking hard he couldn't see straight. She raised her head and he leaned forward for a quick kiss then stood between her legs and dropped his pants and boxers. _

Beth hoped she could stay awake long enough to help with the dishes but what she really wanted to do was crawl into bed with Daryl and maybe relive last night. She covered her mouth and yawned. He was almost done eating. Her brow furrowed. He acted no different than before, maybe hungrier and more energetic. That could just be her imagination. She couldn't stop thinking about it and all he could do was shovel in the slop like it was his last meal.

_Oh lord in heaven, she thought as he stood over her with a massive erection. He quickly fell to the ground between her thighs and covered her with his body. His tongue pushed its way into her mouth and his hands were…everywhere. Her brain couldn't keep up with the feelings every part of her body was sending its way. One hand kneaded a breast while the other found its way between her legs again. Her arms went around his head and her tongue met his in a battle for dominance which he won easily. She grabbed his ear lobe between her teeth. "Daryl," she groaned as he pressed his body against her._

_ "Condom," she tried to say as his cock came dangerously close to her slick opening. He didn't hear or didn't want to or maybe there was no blood left in his brain because it fled to the other part of his body that was determined to conquer her. "Daryl!" she hissed and bit down hard on his ear._

Daryl pushed his bowl away and sat back in his chair, finally full and satisfied. He didn't realize he had a smile on his face but everyone else at the table did.

_His naked body was all over hers and he felt fuckin' better than he had in a long time. He had no worries about whether it was the right thing, if he was too old or she was too young or even if he was good enough…it just felt so right. _

_His cock pressed at the wet opening that was welcoming it...until a sharp pain sent the blood rushing back to his brain and his right earlobe. "Fuck!" he said pushing himself up. He never took Beth for the kind of girl that would want it rough but if she asked he sure as hell wouldn't say no. Her eyes were trying to focus on him and whatever noises came from her sweet lips made his cock jerk. Again, she "moaned" and he started to fall back down between her legs until she grabbed his arm. "Condom…backpack," she said breathlessly._

_"Oh fuck," he said, taking in a deep breath. Slow down, Dixon. "Sorry, baby." He pulled a square foil packet out of his shirt pocket…the one he took from her, the one he saved just for this moment …. "Will this one do, darlin'?"_

Beth sighed and pushed her chair back. She picked up the two empty bowls in front of Daryl. He touched her arm in a rare moment of what he would consider a display of public affection and said, "Thanks." She headed to the kitchen shaking her head. _That's it?_ She plunged the bowls into the sink and began to scrub the sticky breakfast goo from them, surprised that he even left that much. Shoot, she had half expected him to lick the darned things clean.

_ To say Beth was astonished that he still had the condom from the night she first tried to seduce him was an understatement. She lay there totally exposed and vulnerable and watched as he tore the package open with his teeth and took the condom out. He handed it to her. "You do it."_

_She didn't know how to put one on but how hard could it be? Pretty hard, she thought almost giggling out loud at her own joke. She rose up and he moved closer so she could reach him. With trembling hands she tried to put it on him but it wasn't working and she was getting a little flustered. His large hands covered hers and he said softly, "Turn it over, honey." She did and tried again he sucked in a sharp breath as she began to unroll it. _

_"Sorry!" she said, biting her lower lip, fighting back frustration. She just knew she would mess it up. _

_He held her hands. "Don't be, sugar, ya ain't hurtin' me." He let out a breath and kissed her forehead. "Your hands on my cock just feel so fuckin' good I'm afraid I ain't gonna be able to hold back 'fore ya get it on." He finished the task himself then cupped her cheek and kissed her lips pressing her back into pillows. _

_He placed his hands on each of her thighs where they joined at the hip. She tensed and closed her eyes leaning back into the pillows. Please don't let it hurt too much. _

_His thumbs drew lazy circles meeting at her center. "Relax, Beth," he whispered. "I ain't ever been with a virgin but I promise to be gentle with ya, darlin'." She nodded._

_"Open your eyes, baby. I want you to look at me." She did but barely. He grinned and coaxed, "A little more." Oh lord, she didn't know she was supposed to watch! _

_"That's my girl." She thought he was going to be lying on top of her but he wasn't. He said he wanted to see himself enter her. He didn't use those exact words. His words were so…dirty. What he really said was that he wanted to watch his cock go into her pussy. Nobody she ever knew talked like that. She thought she liked it, at least her body did because a shiver went down her spine as soon as the words left his mouth. He held her legs behind her knees and pulled her closer. He raised himself up and pressed against her, pushing…backing away…pushing against her center again. _

_"Goddamn baby, you're so fucking tight". His passion-darkened gaze met hers causing butterflies to flutter in her stomach and her body to clench around him. He shuddered and tightened his grip behind her knees._

_"Fuck!" he groaned through his teeth. He was only in a little way…just the tip but she already felt so full. She was stretched to the point that it was almost painful…but not quite. She wanted more of him, all of him. She held her breath and closed her eyes as he eased in a little more, stretching her walls beyond what she thought possible. _

_"Open your eyes, Beth." His voice was low and husky. "Look at me."_

_Lord, he was taking his own sweet time. Beth didn't know how much more she could endure. She gripped the bedding with white knuckles and arched her back, pushing herself further onto him. _

_A sharp pain pierced the haze of her consciousness and she gasped as her body stretched to accommodate his entire length. 'Oh my god, Daryl!" she cried out reaching for him as he fell against her chest._

_"Jesus H. Christ," he moaned into her breasts and began to move his hips. Her hands slid along his perspiration dampened skin as she clung to his upper arms while he pumped into her with a steady, easy rhythm._

_The pain had abated and was replaced by a deep warmth that pooled between her legs as he grunted with each thrust. She tried to move with him but her body was rubbery and her muscles wouldn't cooperate. He moved faster and harder, forcing small groans from her. She clung tighter as his rhythm began to falter. "Oh fuck! Fuck!" he cried into her neck. "Beth." He jerked inside of her and her body responded by squeezing and releasing. "Goddamn it, baby!" he cried out once more and collapsed in a sweaty, heavy heap on top of her._

Daryl had watched Beth walk to the kitchen. The slight sway of her hips caused a tightening in his groin. _Shit._ He had planned to follow her but he couldn't get up until his fuckin' cock calmed down. The memory of last night teased his cock. Hell, now his brother was eyeing him again. He wanted to tell him to fuck off but truthfully Merle wasn't gonna get to him today. He felt too damn good.

_He had been in such a hurry to fuck her that he almost forgot the damned condom. She didn't though. Goddamn, he almost came when she tried to put it on him. Her hands on his cock was almost more than he could bear. That was close…too close. He'd hate to fuck it up by coming too soon. Daryl had to put the condom without her help._

_He managed to get control of himself, no easy matter with Beth spread out naked in front of him. Her pussy was so wet and swollen from when she came in his mouth…she was as wet as he wanted her to be. _

"Hey, Dumbass!"

Daryl pulled himself away from his thoughts to give his brother a dirty fuck-off look.

"Aint ya listening, Darylina?" So maybe Merle could get to him today after all.

"I said, if ya had a lick o' sense in that thick head of yours, you'd get off your ass and help _your_ little woman in the kitchen."

"What are ya…"

Rowan reached across the table to pat Daryl's hand. "Go now, before it's too late," she warned with a smile in her voice.

Daryl stood up and glared at them both like they were crazy but the look on their faces was one of concern, not mocking. _Oh fuck…what did I do now? _He hurried off to the kitchen.

Merle shook his head. "I don't know about that boy."

Daryl stopped and stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching Beth scrub furiously at the dishes. "This pan is hopeless," she mumbled to herself, pushing back a stray lock of hair from her face with a forearm. He thought she looked just as pretty to him as she did last night and he couldn't help but smile.

_God, Daryl was thankful for the moon that was almost full. He wanted to see his cock enter her…he wanted to see her face when he popped her cherry…he wanted her to see the man who fucked her for the first time. Her thighs quivered in his hands as he spread them wider. He pushed the head of his cock against soaking wet pussy and groaned. She was so fucking tight he wasn't sure he was gonna be able to get in but Dixons don't give up._

_"Fuck," he groaned loudly as he pushed into her, muscles that weren't use to anything wider than his fingers squeezed the head of his cock like a vise. Holt shit. Daryl trembled with the effort of holding back when he really just wanted to plunge in. Shuddering, he blew out a shaky breath and pushed harder, further..."Open your eyes, Beth." He gripped her hips so tight he was afraid he'd leave bruises on her fair skin. He eased in a little further and felt even greater resistance. Holy fucking hell, he was up against her cherry. "Shit," he moaned._

_Beth arched her back and moved her hips against him and he pushed at the same time. She cried out his name when he broke though…_

_"Jesus H. Christ", he collapsed on her chest. "Fuck." He tried to remain still while she adjusted to his cock buried all the way in her sweet pussy. Holy hell. He was already in heaven and he ain't even come yet. He moved slowly. Goddamn, she felt so fuckin' good, so fuckin' tight…he knew he wouldn't last long. Hell, he was amazed he lasted this long._

_Then…Beth started to move with him…Oh shit, no! he thought and stumbled as he jerked and bucked against her hips. Oh fuck! Fuck! There was no more holding back when her pussy tightened…he saw stars on the back of his eyelids, collapsed and he didn't remember a goddamn thing after that._

"You going to stand there all day, Daryl Dixon, or you going to help me?" Daryl snapped out of his reverie to see Beth looking at him with her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, darling," he said.

She tossed him a towel and turned back to the chore in front of her. "You can rinse and dry,"

Daryl caught it easily. He wasn't thinking about washing dishes, though. He moved in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling through her hair until he reached skin.

"Daryl," she protested halfheartedly as he pressed her against the edge of the sink and kissed the warm flesh at the back of her neck.

"Mmmmm," was his answer.

"Not here. Someone's going to come in," she said but pulled her blonde hair around to the front and leaned her head forward revealing more of her neck to his eager mouth.

Daryl trailed little kisses to her ear and tugged at her earlobe gently. "Can't recall if I thanked ya for last night, sugar. Can't recall much of anythin' other than being inside your sweet body." He traced the shell of her ear with his tongue, pleased with the effect he was having on her as her ass pressed against him. "If I didn't tell ya, sweetheart, I'm sorry." He gently turned her face to him and pressed a soft kiss on her lips then whispered against them. " Thank you, Beth, for the best gift I ever got."

She turned around in his arms and threw hers around his neck. Tears welled in her blue eyes but a beautiful smile graced her face.

_Aww hell. _ For the life of him he'd never understand women. "Beth, honey…"

"I thought you were disappointed," she sniffled, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand.

_Disappointed?_ "Honey…"

"I mean, Daryl, you didn't say anything. You just…just fell asleep. And you snored."

"Baby, that means it was _really_ good…I didn't have anything left in me." He lifted her up to the edge of the sink and she wrapped her legs around him.

She sighed with relief. "When you didn't say anything I thought that I did something wrong."

He reached up to brush away the last tear on her cheek. "I ain't no good at that feelings shit, baby, I already told ya."

"I know, but still…"

"Hush," he said and covered her mouth with his.

* * *

Rick watched Amanda walk in for breakfast with Martinez. The young man's hand was at the small of her back. Caesar was getting way to cozy in Rick's opinion.

He couldn't sleep last night, not knowing if Mandy was safe. She was pretty upset after Daryl blurted out her secret. Not only did everyone now know that she was probably pregnant, they also knew that Rick wasn't the father of her baby…like he wasn't the father of Judith. No, that wasn't true, he kept telling himself. He believed in his heart that he was the little girl's daddy, not Shane. Judith looked like Lori. The baby had her eyes and her smile. He couldn't see one thing in that baby girl that reminded him of Shane…the best friend he had killed.

Rick closed his eyes a minute forcing the thoughts of Lori and Shane from his mind. And for letting his vigilance down for those few seconds, he received a face full of mush as Judith squealed and readied another handful of food to throw at her dad to get his attention. "That's enough, Punkin," he said absently, wiping his face and preparing a spoonful of food for her.

He couldn't quite pull himself away from his dark thoughts. Rick went looking for Mandy last night. He didn't want her to be alone and he needed to assure himself she was safe. He started in the infirmary and when he didn't find her there he headed to Cell Block B because he knew the Dixons were cleaning it out. He turned off his flashlight when he heard the voices, specifically hers. Then Rick heard Martinez laugh. _Shit_. He closed his eyes and let out his breath slowly. Mandy was safe…at least from walkers. But it should have been him there with her.

Amanda sat down on the right side of her father. His stump was wrapped but he wasn't wearing the hard leather and metal cover. Merle put his arm across his daughter's shoulders and leaned in close. "Don't you worry 'bout a thing, Ladybug. Daddy's gonna take care of you."

"Thanks, Daddy." She smiled sadly and put her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything to you about it before."

"Water under the bridge, Baby Girl." He patted her knee and kissed her head. "That's just water under the bridge."

Amanda sat up and looked warily at the bowl of food Caesar had put in front of her before he sat between her and Carol.

"Morning, Carol." Martinez said and apologized for being late as he looked at the stuff in his bowl. "I overslept. Sorry I missed breakfast duty."

"You and me both," grunted Merle, as he looked around his daughter at his friend. The friend who had overslept and who had just walked into the dining area…late…with his Amanda. They had been spending a lot of time together these past few days. Was she finally through with Grimes? God he hoped so.

Merle made one more attempt to eat the mush but spit the spoonful back in the bowl shoved the it away. "What is this shit anyway? Grits or oatmeal? That's what it looks like but taste like neither one."

Oscar said, "_No_ one showed up to cook." They had four pretty good cooks, Carol, Caesar, Rowan, and Beth, and every damn one of them skipped out on breakfast duty.

"It's not that bad, Oscar," Carol said, stirring the sticky stuff. She knew he did his best to prepare something for the group to eat. "Daryl ate four bowls of it." How bad _could_ it be?

"It does taste like shit," Carl said, agreeing with the oldest Dixon.

"Carl! You know better than to talk like that." Rick scolded him.

"If Judith can say it, why can't I?" he argued.

Rick started to respond but noticed Carol was looking quite pale. "You okay, Carol?" he asked, concerned, while trying to wipe the stuff off of Judith's hands. She pulled away and shoved a little fist in her mouth and sucked on it loudly. The taste didn't seem to bother her.

Merle leaned over to look down the table at the woman in question. "Carol, darlin', ya do look a bit green around the gills," he commented.

"Oh god!" Carol covered her mouth and ran from the table. They could hear her retching from the kitchen.

"What the fuck?" Merle said, slapping his spoon down on the table. "Is there a woman who ain't knocked up 'round here?"

Rowan slapped him on the back of the head. "Really, Merle?"

"Fuck!" Judith echoed his sentiments. By now, they were so used to hearing the baby's favorite word that no one flinched or even snickered anymore but her "outburst" did earn Merle a dirty look from her father.

Daryl stuck his head in. He was covered up to the elbows in dishwater and suds. "Carol ain't pregnant, ya dumbass. She's hung-over. Drank all my goddamn Jack last night!"

Merle looked at his brother and burst into laughter. "I'll be damned. Woman can't handle her liquor. There weren't but a swallow or two left."

"Who is pregnant, Daddy?"

"Me," answered Rowan.

Subdued congratulations were said around the table and she accepted them graciously.

She was beautiful, glowing, Amanda thought and she was just now seeing it. Rowan was actually happy to be pregnant. "Guess I wasn't the only one keeping secrets," Amanda said putting her spoon down and leaving the table.

Caesar started to rise but Merle did first. Dixon informed the younger man sharply, "I got this, Martinez."

* * *

_**Thanks to all my reviewers, readers, and guests.**_

_**Please leave a review and let me know what you think.**_

_**Happy reading!**_


	33. Chapter 33

Merle Dixon knew he needed to become a better father not only for Amanda but for this new baby as well. He had another chance and he was going to do it right this time. Amanda needed him more than ever and he wasn't going to fail her again. Not like he did at Woodbury.

_He fucked up big time. When the Governor invited him into his office after dinner and questioned his loyalty, it was all he could do not to punch the man in the face. He did every fuckin' thing that asshole asked him to even when it didn't sit right with him. He did some bad things that he regretted but dwelling on them wouldn't change the past._

_He never hid the fact that he wanted to find his brother but the Governor shot down every request with some bullshit reason why Merle was needed at Woodbury more. Now that he had positive proof, he wasn't going to let the man stop him from reuniting with Daryl. He planned to bring him back to Woodbury. He didn't give a shit about anyone else. When he had his brother and his daughter together with him at Woodbury, he would be content._

_The Governor acted like he was satisfied with his answer but Dixon had dealt with too many snakes in his life and his gut told him something was not right. Why didn't he listen?_

_Ladybug fell asleep right after dinner but Merle was restless. He had too much on his mind. He couldn't sit still. There was over an hour to go until his watch on the wall. He thought about waking his baby girl up and telling her he was going out and that wouldn't be back for a few hours but she was sleeping so soundly. He shook her shoulder, barely, and whispered her name but she didn't respond. So he left without saying a word._

_Merle didn't go to the wall right away. He went to that little redhead's place. He couldn't even recall her fuckin' name. Joanie, Jane, no wait…it was Jenny. Maybe. Shit. Didn't matter anyhow. He knocked on the door and she opened it, completely naked, said she wasn't sure if he was coming so she started without him. Shit, he thought that was hot. He slammed the door behind him and fucked her until he thought neither one of them could walk. He knew he wasn't the only man in Woodbury she fucked but he didn't care. She always told him he was her favorite, the best. He snorted because now he saw it for the bullshit it was. If you have the best you sure as hell ain't gonna keep looking for it. _

He found the best or maybe the best found him. The only woman he thought about now was Rowan. He didn't know exactly when or how but the young dark-haired beauty who accepted him just as he was, flaws and all, managed to banish the memories of any other woman he ever knew.

Remembering the redhead was just a reflection of another one of his many failures as a father. He should have been watching over his daughter that night, not fuckin' some whore. Then, maybe the Governor wouldn't have been able to get to Amanda through that bastard Crowley.

Dixon sighed and rubbed his hands across his head. His hair was getting long. He'd have to get Rowan to cut it again for him. He smiled absently thinking about her this morning.

_She had rubbed her ass against him before he was fully awake. Lately, she had wanted him every morning and of course he was happy to oblige. He wondered if it was a side effect of being pregnant. If so, it was one he didn't mind at all._

_She was so damn wet and he slid into her easily from behind. He buried his face into the back of her neck and groaned loudly as she ground her ass into his hips. "Shh," she whispered harshly and then let out a loud moan of her own when he slid his hand across her stomach to palm her pussy.…he chuckled at that because she was even louder than he was. _

_Rowan grabbed her pillow and buried her face in it. He thrust harder and rubbed her quicker with the palm of his hand wishing the fuck he had his right one so he could also squeeze her tits. She reached back and grabbed his ass while holding the pillow on her face with the other hand. If it didn't feel so damn good and if he wasn't about to come he would have laughed out loud at her predicament. Instead, he continued his sweet assault with no mercy until she shattered around him…between the tightening of her pussy on his cock and her muffled scream, his own climax was right behind hers._

_He buried his own groans in the tangled hair at the base of her neck. Fucking her only got better. He put his left hand on her stomach, gently caressing the damp skin below her belly button and above the triangle of dark curls between her legs with his thumb. _

_She covered his hand with hers and began to move it around. "Can you feel the bump?" she asked softly. _

_He closed his eyes and lightly pressed his palm to her smooth flesh, slowly circling the area where she put his hand. He didn't feel…wait…he went back over the lower part of her stomach. Her stomach had always been flat as a board but…now…he felt slight swell…just a tiny one but there was definitely a swell. "Shit," he said with awe in his raspy voice. That was his baby in there. Rowan brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his palm. _

Dixon shook his head. _Shit, a baby at my age_. Guess that's what happens when ya fuck a younger woman. To tell the truth, he was kind of excited about it. Never thought he'd feel like that about having a kid. He caught himself smiling at times when he shouldn't have been. It was totally ruining the grim outward demeanor he liked to show off. He didn't know about Amanda until she was already born so these feelings were brand new to him. He truly wanted this baby. But enough of being a pussy, now he had to turn his attention to taking care of his baby girl.

He caught up with her before she reached the garden. "Wait up, Ladybug."

"What do you want, Daddy." Amanda stopped but didn't turn around. "I have work to do."

"Just wanna talk a minute, Baby Girl," he said putting his arm around her waist. "C'mon, let's go where we can have some privacy.

"I don't feel like talking," she replied.

"Well, I do and I think we need to."

"You going to give me some fatherly advice?" she asked rather sullenly and not unlike a damn teenager, he thought.

He sighed but tried to keep his voice neutral. "Wasn't planning on it but if ya need some I'll do my best to provide."

Amanda rolled her eyes but followed him to the basketball court. They sat side-by-side leaning back against the prison wall.

She spoke first and the hurt in her voice tugged at his heart. "Why didn't you tell me Rowan was pregnant, Daddy?"

Shit, he already fucked up and he hadn't even started yet. "I ain't known that long, baby girl. Not sure it's sunk in yet." That much was true.

"Do you even know how old she is?"

"Yeah, uh…" he thought about it a moment. He had no fuckin' idea. He knew she was young but honestly he never thought about it. Her age wasn't important to him, she was legal, not like that really mattered any more but he had never gone after a girl as young as Beth.

"I didn't think so. She's twenty-five, Daddy," she answered for him. "One year younger than me."

Merle thought about that for a moment and shrugged. Okay, so his baby's momma was younger than his daughter. He didn't know what Amanda expected him to say. But he wasn't expecting to see tears roll down her face.

"Ladybug, don't cry." He didn't know how he was gonna get out of this one. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

"I can't help it, Daddy," She put her head back against the wall and tried to blink away the tears. "Rowan looked so happy and I'm so miserable and I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"I told ya, Amanda. You ain't alone," he assured her, squeezing her hand.

"But Daddy, how are you going to be able to love a grandchild who has a monster for a father?" Her voice was so small and pained and his fatherly instinct kicked in.

Dixon put his arm around her shoulders and made sure she was looking at him. "You listen to me, Ladybug, I'm gonna love _your_ baby because it's a part of you _and_ a part of me. How can I not?"

She shrugged, leaning her forehead against his. Everything he said made logical sense but emotionally she couldn't come to grips with the fact that it shouldn't matter who the father was, especially since he was dead.

Maybe it wasn't the best time to ask but Merle had to know. "What's going on with you and Grimes? You through with him, yet?"

"What_?" Didn't we already have this conversation? _She knew her daddy probably still had hard feelings for the man that made him cut off his own hand but she thought he had put that aside for now for the sake of peace at the prison. "Daddy…"

"I see Martinez hanging 'round all the time. Ya'll got somethin' goin' on?

So that was it. "Daddy, we're friends." Once her old man got an idea in his mind, he was like a dog with a bone, he never let go.

"Friends that sleep together?"

She ducked from under his arm and stood up to face him. "Oh my god, are you spying on me?" she asked, shocked and appalled.

He looked up at her, squinting in the sun. "Nope I was just fishin'. Guess I caught something."

"Damn it, Daddy," she replied angrily. She knew just how to push his buttons and wasn't afraid to do it. "Yeah, we are sleeping together but we're not fucking."

"Goddamn it, Amanda!" He stood up. "What the hell ya gotta say it like that for?"

"To make sure you get the picture, you jackass."

Father and daughter stared at each other in edgy silence. Merle just didn't know how to talk to his girl without them both getting pissed. _Fuck!_ He was trying to be a better father but apparently he was going about it all wrong. What the fuck was he supposed to say? He could say sorry but he didn't know what the hell he was sorry for. What the fuck was he supposed to do? He had to do something because it wasn't in Merle Dixon to sit by and do nothing. Goddamn it, he would have to be the one to stand down and it just killed him. He never backed down, but, for the sake of his relationship with his daughter, he sighed and dropped his gaze, shaking his head. "Sorry, Baby Girl."

Amanda rubbed her temples. She was getting a headache. Talking to her dad usually resulted in headaches. There had to be an easier way to communicate with him. _Wait a minute, did he just apologize?_ She met his gaze, to make sure. _Damn, he did and it looks like he really meant it. _"Me, too." She said and threw her arms around his neck.

Merle hugged his daughter tightly. "I know I ain't always been there for ya…hell I guess I was _never_ there for you but I wanna be now. I just don't know how to do it but I'm tryin', Ladybug. Give an ol' man a chance."

"I love you, Daddy." She hugged him tighter.

"Love you too, Ladybug."

* * *

After their talk, Merle walked his daughter to the garden where she joined Rowan and Cherry Blossom. He winked at Beth and she turned beet red. He shouldn't tease her but it was too easy and so much fun. His baby brother must have done something right because the girl couldn't quit smiling and she kept sneaking peeks to where Daryl was working with Oscar. The two men were cleaning up some of the trash around the prison grounds that they used most.

"Hey baby," Rowan said, brushing a strand of hair back that stuck to her sweaty face. Merle leaned in for a kiss.

"Be careful," he cautioned. "Don't get too hot. You either, Amanda."

"We have lots of water," The dark-haired woman gestured to a blue cooler. "And we promise to sit under the tent with Herschel and Judith if we need a break. Okay?"

Merle lifted the lid of the cooler and saw that there were in fact several bottles of water as she said. "I mean it, now." All three women saluted him. "Smart asses," he mumbled as he walked from their giggles.

He nodded to Greene as he passed and Judith toddled out to greet him. He swung her up in the air and she squealed clutching his prosthesis. "Hey, little booger," he said smiling and propped her against his right side. "Ya ain't big enough for guard duty yet so I reckon ya better stay here and take care of Herschel."

Hershel laughed. "Looks like it's going to have to be that way. I can hardly keep up with the little rascal now."

"Would you keep an eye on the girls…make sure they don't overdo it."

The old man nodded and took Judith from Merle. "I will."

Merle nodded in thanks and headed to the main guard tower. There was someone else he needed to talk to.

"Hey, Martinez. How's it look?"

"Quiet for the most part, Boss man," he answered.

"Ya ain't got call me that." Merle said taking the binoculars from him to scan the tree line.

"Habit, Dixon," the man said, rubbing his beard. "Seems like more biters showing up, everyday."

The older man grunted. He noticed that too. He handed the binoculars back.

"Do we need to start taking more of them out?"

"Yeah, but we need to do it as quiet as we can so we won't attract others. We don't need any more of the fuckers buildin' up along the fence and knockin' it down."

"Want me to start now?"

"No," Dixon answered thoughtfully. "When Chinaman and the Greene girl are on watch, you, me, Daryl, and Oscar can do it then. We should be able to put a pretty good dent in the dead population."

"Got it, Boss."

Merle shook his head at the term. "I'll tell Daryl and Oscar the plan. We'll meet here in a few hours."

"No problem." Martinez said, eyes scanning the area around the prison.

"What you doing with my daughter?" Dixon asked his younger friend, his voice was low and serious as hell.

Martinez had thought the other man has already left. Dixon was quiet and if he didn't want you to hear him coming or going, you wouldn't. Caesar lowered the binoculars slowly. There were so many ways this could go wrong. "You wanna be more specific?"

Merle gritted his teeth…he didn't want to punch the man but damn it. "Are you interested in Amanda?"

"Yes." _Easy enough._

"In what way?"

_Not out of the woods yet._ "What exactly are you asking?"

"Damn it Martinez, are ya an idiot?"

No, he wasn't and that's why he was trying hard not to say the wrong thing and piss him off. "I like her, Dixon."

"You fuckin' her?"

_Shit!_ "No. I'm not." Now _this_ was dangerous territory. He'd rather face a herd of biters than an angry Merle Dixon.

"Ya planning on it?"

_Holy shit! _He was expecting that even less than the previous question. How did he answer that? Hopefully the truth wouldn't get him killed. "Only if she asks me to."

Merle didn't move but Caesar swore that his eyes turned colder, harder. "You do understand that if ya hurt my baby girl in any way…if she sheds one tear over you, I will kill ya."

"Yes sir, I understand." Caesar held his breath. Dixon was the only man that he was afraid of…physically, that is…he could hold his own with anyone but he didn't ever want to be pitted against the older Dixon.

"Ya still interested?"

"Yes."

Merle nodded and Caesar slowly let out his breath. Then Dixon asked, "What about Grimes?"

"What about him?" Martinez had thought, no, he had hoped this little talk was over, but he was wrong.

"You ain't worried about the man?" Merle cocked his head to the side trying to read the other man's expression. "You know she loves him."

"For now," Caesar answered confidently, "If he loved her, he'd be with her, so, no, I'm not worried."

"Good enough for me, man." Dixon said clapping him on the back. "Now, there's one more thing we need to discuss."

"What's that, boss?"

"Killing the Governor."

* * *

Amanda stood up and stretched rubbing her back. They needed to plant some pole beans next year or have someone else harvest them. She had another basket full and she was finally looking forward to mealtime. Beth and Maggie were going to can what they didn't use today. It would be nice to have vegetables on hand for the winter.

"Here give me those, I'll take them to daddy to snap," Beth said focusing on something over Amanda's shoulder. She handed the bounty to her blonde friend and turned around to see Rick approaching._ Oh shit!_

"No, that's okay, Beth. I'll do it," she said quickly reaching for the basket of green beans but the younger girl was faster. "I got 'em," she insisted and headed rapidly over to where her father sat with Judith and Rowan.

"Hey, Mandy," Rick called out. "Wanna walk the fence with me today?" He ran his fingers nervously through his hair.

_Not really,_ she thought but said, "Okay."

They walked in silence for while until Rick felt they were out of earshot of the others. He pulled a bottle of water out of his cargo pocket and took a sip then handed it to her.

"Thank you," she muttered and took a drink then handed it back. "Do you have something to say to me?"

Rick sighed heavily, not looking at her but watching the walkers following them along the fence line. He had lots to say but he couldn't get the words out. How did he tell her he was afraid for her? That he was sorry… "Mandy," he started, hesitantly.

She waited for him to say more, getting a little more pissed as each second passed. "Damn it Rick, if you don't want to be with me anymore just say so I can move on with my life."

"It's not that, honey."

"Then what the fuck is it, Rick? You're going to have to tell me because I have no idea." _Don't cry damn it! _She fought back tears because she didn't want him to see how much it hurt. "Can you just not stand the thought of me being pregnant with another man's baby? Is that it?"

"Mandy, stop."

"So if it turns it that I'm not pregnant, will that make everything okay for you? Will you want me then?"

He grabbed her arms. "Honey, please…" He didn't know how to explain what he was feeling when he didn't understand it himself. He loved her but he couldn't be with her.

"Because if it does, well…you can just fuck off because I don't need you!"

She tried to twist out of his grasp. "Mandy!" He pulled her against his body and held her.

"Let go!" she yelled out him, tears flowing freely now.

"I am scared out of my mind that you are gonna to die like Lori." His voice shook at his confession. He was hearing it out loud for the first time himself. "I love you, Mandy, and I don't think I can bear losing you like I lost her!"

"What about me, Rick?" She stopped struggling. "You don't think I'm scared, too?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Whether we're apart or together isn't going to affect the outcome."

"Honey, I don't…"

"Quit calling me that!" she demanded and shoved him away. "It's not just about you! It's not about you at all! It's about me and I'm scared of a hell of a lot more than dying while giving birth to my rapist's bastard." She turned away and ran toward the prison, blinded by tears. She didn't want him to see how she hurt and she sure as hell didn't want him to see her cry over him anymore.

_Run after her! _His mind screamed at him but his body wouldn't obey. Maybe she was better off without him.

* * *

Daryl was looking for his brother when his niece practically ran him down. He started to yell at her and then he saw the tears, _Fuck! Why did women have to cry so much?_ He thought he and Merle had broke her of that nasty little habit when she was little.

"Possum?" He tried to grab her arm but she twisted out of his grasp.

"Leave me alone!" she yelled at him and ran into the prison.

He looked the direction she'd had came from and saw Rick walking along the fence. "Oh, fuck," he said. He was gonna have to have a talk with Grimes before Merle did.

"Whaddya doing, man?" Daryl caught up to Rick and yanked him around by the shoulder.

"Not now, Dixon," he said, turning away from the pissed redneck.

"You wanna tell me why the fuck Possum is bawling like…like a woman?" It had to be bad for her to cry like that. _Shit_.

"That's between us," Rick said and kept walking, doing his best to ignore the man snapping at his heels.

"The hell it is…that's my niece and I'll be damned if I stand by and watch you hurt her."

"I'm not the one that hurt her."

"But you're the one that should be taking care of her. Why ain't ya?"

"I can't."

"What the fuck do ya mean? Ya can't?" Daryl was fuming at his friend. "Because of what that bastard did to her? Is that it? It ain't her fault. I thought you loved her. What kind of man are ya?"

Angrily, Rick turned to face the other man. "Damn it, Dixon, you don't understand."

"Damn right, I don't. Why don't you explain it to me?"

"I can't watch her die…like Lori. When I look at Mandy all I see is Lori…or what was left of her."

_Fuckin' hell. _Daryl really didn't know what to say to that. He knew Rick took Lori's death hard. Went off the deep end. Maybe Grimes hadn't dealt with it as well as he thought he had. This whole thing was too fucked up. He put his hand on Rick's shoulder and tried to keep his voice calm and under control but warned him. "Ya gonna let Martinez take Amanda right out from under ya nose 'cause ya can't man up and to do the right thing."

"She ain't mine, Dixon." Rick saw the concern in his friend's face but there was nothing he could say that would make anything better.

"She was, Rick." Daryl insisted. "She loves you but she ain't gonna for long because she needs you right now and that fuckin' Martinez is standin' in your place."

"Doesn't matter anymore."

"Goddamn it, man! It ain't like you to give up on anythin'. If ya still love her, Grimes, fix it and get her away from that bastard. I don't care what Merle says, I don't trust the son of a bitch."

* * *

Caesar washed off the day's worth of sweat and walker blood in the cold water of the prison shower. He didn't mind it now in the heat of the summer but in the winter they would have to find another way to get clean.

Dixon's words lay heavy on his mind. The man was right; it was only a matter of time before the Governor raised another "army" and came after them. They left just over three months ago…that might be enough time. The Governor was not a forgiving man, nor would he forget their defection. At least his new army wouldn't be trained by Merle Dixon.

He thought about the last words the Governor had said to him. Keep an eye on Dixon. He told Martinez that he was beginning to question where his "right-hand" man's loyalties really were. Dixon had assured him that his loyalty was with Woodbury first; but the Governor saw something change in his trusted soldier when Andrea showed up.

_Dixon was more determined than ever to look for his missing brother…said he wanted to bring him back to their town. He became quiet and secretive; nothing like the man he was used to…he reverted back into himself, back into survival mode. Martinez had the feeling that the Governor wasn't too keen on the idea of having two Dixons in Woodbury. He was probably right. Together, the brothers were a force to reckoned with and he doubted all of Woodbury would be able to contend with them if they decided to take over the town all by themselves._

_However, Martinez liked the gruff Dixon. He never had any doubts about trusting the man. They worked together and talked quite a bit though Dixon never opened up about his personal life except to say he wanted to find Daryl, his little brother. He knew he was out there somewhere. Andrea confirmed that the younger Dixon had been alive last time she saw him. Martinez just couldn't see Merle turning traitor because his daughter showed up. _

_But that was before they found her half-naked and nearly beaten to death in the armory. Martinez was in shock. How could the Governor let that happen? How could he have a woman beaten and tortured to that degree? What the hell could she have known that was so important…the location of the younger Dixon? Did he fear them that much? There had to be another way to get the information from her…unless he wanted it immediately. Martinez knew that the Governor was only telling him what he thought he needed to know. But to beat a woman like that…_

_After he and Dixon deposited Amanda with Rowan, Caesar went to the Governor, confronted the man. In that slick way that he had, he told Caesar to help Merle escape with his daughter, go with them, find out where they were headed and to make sure they arrived and then report back as soon as he was able._ _He also told Martinez to leave Rowan and he would deal with her disloyalty personally. _

_Of course none of it worked out as planned. Rowan was a smart girl and there was no way she would allow herself to be left behind. Dixon was too wily to tell him of his plans and honestly Caesar would have been surprised if he had. Dixon trusted him but only so far. The man hadn't survived as long as he had by running his mouth. _

_Martinez never made contact with anyone from Woodbury. In fact, when Dixon went for his truck, Martinez killed two soldiers that got too close. He didn't want to wake the women. So he snuck out when they were almost to the house and hid in the bushes. When Marcus came within reach, he broke the man's neck then stabbed him through the eye. Jones didn't even see him coming. He slipped his blade between his ribs and into his heart and then he stuck it through his eye. He wiped off his weapon on their clothes and rinsed his hand in a puddle. He slipped back in the house and the two women were still asleep._

_He didn't feel remorse about it. He knew the men but he also knew that they wouldn't hesitate to kill him if ordered to do so. Some gut instinct had kicked in and he felt the need to protect the women. He had four sisters. The two older sisters lived in other states and he prayed to God that they had someone to watch over them. _

_Caesar lifted the crucifix that he never took off and kissed it. Sometimes he wondered if God cared about his people any more. More than once he thought about ripping it off and throwing it as far as he could but Eva, his baby sister, gave it to him at Christmas…the last Christmas they had spent together as a family. So he kept it hidden under his shirt where he didn't have to see it. _

_He had watched helplessly as biters tore apart Maria and Eva, the youngest of the Martinez girls. He couldn't get to them though he tried his damnedest. He screamed, out of his mind with grief and would have been taken down himself if it hadn't been for a one-handed stranger who shoved a blade through the eye of a biter poised to rip out his throat. _

_The man yanked him out of the fray and was shouting at him, shoving him towards a truck with the engine running, two men stood in the bed shooting the biters with automatic weapons…funny how he didn't hear the shots before…he could only hear the screams of his sisters…and then the deafening silence. Dixon practically lifted him with his one hand and threw him in the back of the vehicle then he jumped in the passenger's seat as the truck tore off leaving the biters and the bodies of his sisters in the dust._

_Reliving the tragedy made him realize that he couldn't, no, that he wouldn't let Rowan or Amanda suffer the horror that befell his sisters whether it be from the living or the dead._

Hot tears mixed with the cold water of the shower as Caesar bent his head and cried for the first time since his sisters died. He clutched the wet crucifix in his fist so tightly that the edges of the cross cut into his palm drawing blood. The pain in his hand drew the pain away from his heart long enough for him to pull himself together.

Martinez dried off with a rough towel and dressed quickly in some clean clothes. He caught the scent of dinner and knew he should get some before it was all gone. He didn't feel like eating anymore but missing a meal wasn't wise. He needed the strength to keep going not only for himself but the others. In Woodbury, he was just another survivor, trying to live some semblance of a normal life. Now he thought of this small ragtag group as family.

He wasn't sure when he started to feel that way but that didn't really matter. What mattered was that these people were his family and he'd do what he had to do to protect them.

A few had already gathered in the dining room but Amanda wasn't one of them. He went to kitchen to ask Beth if she'd seen her. Carol intercepted him. "There you are, Caesar." She handed him a large pot of green beans with potatoes. Amanda's favorite. "Would you please carry that to the table? The natives are getting restless." She smiled and patted his arm. She reminded him of Carmen, his oldest sister, the nurturing one. She always worried about others more than herself.

"Do you know where Amanda is?" he asked Beth before he stepped out of the room.

The blonde shook her head and said she hadn't seen her since she went off with Rick. _Fuck!_ He just lost what little appetite he had.

Caesar placed the pot of beans in the center of the table. What he really wanted to do was check on Amanda but he sat down next to Carol. She served him some sliced fresh tomatoes and passed the plate around the table. Rick sat at the head of the table with his baby girl on one side and his son on the other. He didn't look particularly happy but the man never did. Not since Caesar had known him. He didn't know what Amanda saw in him.

Martinez ate his food hurriedly, not really tasting it. Amanda still hadn't shown up and he wanted to find her to make sure she was alright. He glanced over at Merle Dixon, who was watching him. The older man gave him an almost imperceptible nod toward the door. Martinez swallowed his last bite, excused himself, and took his dishes to the sink. When he left the dining area, he felt Grimes eyes following him but he didn't give the man another thought.

* * *

Amanda lay on her bunk in Cell Block B. She still loved Rick but was she done with him. That still didn't make the pain go away. Damn it…why did she have to go on that last run? Why did she let herself get separated from Maggie and Glenn? Why didn't she just stay in her daddy's apartment until he came back? There were so many things she could have done different and any one of them would have changed the outcome of the event that ruined her life.

When Amanda realized it was all her own doing, she couldn't be angry at Rick any more. If her being pregnant caused him to be haunted again by the death of his wife, there was nothing she could do to make it better. If he couldn't deal with it, that was his problem. She hardly had the strength to maintain her own sanity much less help him keep his. She wanted him but she didn't need him.

The thin mattress sank in behind her. She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Go away." She didn't feel like talking.

"I can't."

_Caesar._ Of course it was Caesar. Why the hell would he want to be her friend when she had nothing to offer? She was a mess. "Please, just go."

Instead of honoring her plea, he lay down behind her and pulled her into a hug. Amanda was to emotionally drained to argue. He brushed the black curls away from her face but didn't say a word.

"Don't you have something else you need to be doing?"

"I'm doing it."

"That's not what I meant."

"Why won't you accept the fact that I want to help you?" he asked softly, stroking her cheek.

_Because Rick said he loved me but he can't help me get past this shit._ "Why Caesar? I don't understand."

"Because," he said softly, hugging her closer. "I care for you and I want to make the pain go away."

"It will never go away," she replied miserably.

"The memories won't, babe, but they will fade into the background if you replace them with better ones."

"I don't know how to do that without him." _God, why did she still have to love Rick?_

Caesar's lips touched her outer ear and he spoke softly. "Let me help you."

"Nobody can." Amanda's body began to shake in his arms. "Crowley hurt me bad, Caesar." Her voice cracked. "Really bad…he broke me."

He kissed her hair but kept his thoughts to himself, letting her say what she needed to say without interruption.

Her voice was quavered, "He put a bag over my head…it was hard to breathe. I tried to be strong but I wasn't," she gulped a noisy sob. "He hit me so many times…I couldn't think straight. I-I think I fell of the chair. I'm not sure…but I remember being on the floor I-I could hear him circling me. My feet were loose and I tried to kick him…I don't know but he jerked me up and slammed me down on the table. My ears were ringing and he said, 'I'm gonna ask you one more time, bitch, where is your camp?' I told him to go to hell. He laughed….I still hear it…in my dreams…and sometimes when I'm alone…I hear hear his awful, cruel laughter. H-he put his hands on me again. I knew what he was going to do…but I thought….if I can keep the others safe…if I can get out of here….I can take whatever he was going to do to me.

"I was wrong. It hurt so much…I struggled, tried to get up but he slammed me back down on the table and…he made it worse…I didn't think it could hurt more but it did.

"I begged him to stop. I'd do anything to make him stop. He asked…he…he asked if this was how my daddy did it to me….and did I beg him to stop or did I…"

"Amanda." Caesar turned her toward him and pulled her to his chest while she cried into the angle of his neck.

"Or did I ask him to fuck me harder." She starting sobbing again.

"You don't have to tell me this, baby."

She shook her head against him. "I have to tell someone, get it out, because it is going to eat away at me until there is nothing left."

She sucked in a shaky breath and continued. "I don't even know how I got the words out but I told him I'd tell the Governor whatever he wanted to know if he'd please just stop. He…finished…first…s-said…said he wanted to make sure he got me pregnant so he could see Daddy's face when he found out…he hated my daddy. He took the bag off my head. He laughed right in my face and said he bet it would kill Daddy to see me grow fat with his bastard but that I probably wasn't Dixon's brat anyway because I was too easy to break." She shuddered remembering clearly the ugly man's parting words.

Martinez just held the trembling woman, rubbing her back, knowing that nothing he could say would help.

"Caesar, if you and Daddy didn't find me…before Crowley came back with the Governor, I would have told him everything. Rick, the children, Beth, Daryl…the entire group would have been in danger because I was too weak. I am so ashamed. I should have been stronger."

"Baby, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"But, I am. I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if…"

"But you didn't, baby, so stop torturing yourself with things that could have, but didn't happen." He tilted her to face to his and gently held her chin. "Crowley was bigger and stronger than you and intent on causing you pain; there wasn't a damned thing you could have done to stop him. But you can stop doing this to yourself."

"But…"

"Amanda." He cut her words off by softly pressing two fingers against her lips. "Hush. You can't win this argument, baby. You want to blame yourself but that's not where it lays…it lies with Crowley and the Governor. Rick and your uncle put Crowley down." _And me and Dixon are going to put the Governor down._ He brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Don't let that bastard win. You are strong. You will get through this and you will be happy again."

He kissed her forehead and then her cheeks, tasting the salty tears that covered them. "Shut your eyes, baby." He tenderly kissed her forehead again and then each closed eyelid. "You're safe with me. I'll stay with you while you sleep." He turned her so her back was against his chest and he adjusted his arm under her head helping her get comfortable. "I won't let anything happen to you." _I promise._

* * *

**_Thanks to all my readers! Drop me a line and tell me what you think._**

**__****_Thanks to siarh for taking the time to editing after I posted._**

**_Happy Reading!_**


	34. Chapter 34

Caesar woke with Amanda in his arms for second morning in a row. The cell was still dark but it wouldn't be long until the early sun filtered through the high barred windows of the cell block. Fearing he'd wake her, he was careful not move. Her slender bare back was flush against his chest and her head was tucked in his shoulder. His hand rested comfortably on her breast. The wonder of how she came to be in his arms like this filled him with the hope that someday she may be his.

_ "You okay, babe?" he mumbled half-awake. She didn't answer but she turned toward him. He let his hand rest lightly on her hip and kissed the top of her head. She buried her head in his chest and silent tears dampened the front of his shirt. _

_"Aww, baby," he said pulling her closer._

_"What is wrong with me?" Her voice was so small and frail._

_"Not a damn thing, Amanda." He lifted her chin and sought her lips with his fingertips. "Not a thing," he assured her and kissed the salty tears away from her cheeks._

_Her trembling hands crept up his chest and stopped when she came in contact with the bare skin at his throat. His heartbeat quickened at the delicate sensation of her fingertips on his flesh. Emboldened by her willingness to touch him, he kissed her lips gently, chastely. Her hands curled around the opening of his shirt pulling it tight across his back and she leaned into the kiss. She pressed her parted lips to his…not quite kissing him back but not pulling away either. He wanted to feel her body against his and he spread his hand across the small of her back and brought her closer. She jerked back when she felt his growing erection press into her stomach. _

_Shit. "Shh, shh, shh, baby. Sorry." He backed away so there was ample space between them._

_She let out a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry."_

_"No, Amanda, I am." He brushed her hair back and trailed his hand down her arm to take hold of hers. "I have wanted you since the first day I saw you, in the oak tree." Just remembering the sight of her slim arms and legs wrapped around the trunk, wild curls and her fierce determination made him smile._

_"Even after I kicked you in the balls?" _

_"Even then," he chuckled. "Well, not until the pain went away." He cupped her face. "I can't help how my body reacts but I ain't a boy and I can control it. I won't touch you unless you want me to."_

_Amanda put her hands on his chest and curled them around his shirt again. "I want you to."_

_He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You want me to what, baby?"_

_"I want you to touch me…just touch me, that's all." Her voice trembled at her bold request like she was afraid he would refuse. _

_"Show me Amanda. Show me how you want to be touched." He had to make sure. He didn't want to do it wrong. He didn't want to frighten her. Caesar wanted her to trust him. He wanted to show her that no matter what Crowley had done, her body was still something to be treasured, wanted, and desired. _

_She captured his hand and brought it to her lips, kissing his work-roughened palm. She rubbed her cheek against the calloused surface. He mirrored her actions with his other palm, cupping her other cheek._

_Amanda guided his broad hand slowly down her neck and he followed with the other until each of his palms covered her breasts. His hands shook slightly beneath hers. She moved his hand in circular motion and he gently caressed the firm mounds through her shirt and bra. He swallowed hard and tried to not to get ahead of her lead although the tightening in his groin was becoming more uncomfortable._

_Without warning, she pushed his hands away. Caesar lay back on the bunk, glad it was too dark for her to see the disappointment that must be written all over his face. He felt the mattress shift as she sat up. Shit, she was leaving. It must have been too much. He listened to her rustling but she didn't get off the bed. _

_Instead, Amanda reached over in the darkness and began to unbutton his shirt. Just the tips of her fingers brushed down his chest with the unfastening of each button. Bolts of electricity sizzled through his body at her touch. He was afraid to breathe, afraid she would stop. When she finished with the last button, her hands slipped under the flaps of his shirt, ran up his bare chest to his shoulders and down his large biceps as she pushed the fabric away. "How did you get these?" _

_"Lots a hard work, been using the prison gym to keep them," he answered, savoring the feel of her exploration of his muscles. She stretched out beside him and scooted into his arms with her back to him. The unexpected pleasure of her bare skin flush against his, forced a harsh gasp from his throat. He wrapped his arms around her middle. _

_Amanda moved his palms to her bare breasts. His broad hands completely covered them and she leaned into him. He lightly brushed his thumbs across her nipples causing them harden instantly into taut peaks beneath his caress. Her head fell forward with a soft moan, dark curls spreading out across his arm tickling skin that was already hypersensitive to her touch. _

_His erection pushed hard between her ass and he tried to increase the gap between them. He was so damned hard; he had to get control of himself like he promised her. He shut his eyes and held his breath and tried to think of something, anything that would keep him from coming right now in his pants. Biters, the stench of lots of biters, dripping with rotting flesh. No. Dead puppies. No. Yesterday's gruel. Shit, that didn't work either. Merle Dixon. Ahh, yep...that did the trick._

_ He squeezed her breasts with a little more pressure and she threw her head back on his shoulder. When his mouth found a sensitive spot at the base of her neck, he gently nibbled and kissed the area until her fingers loosened on his hands and slid over his strong forearms. _

_"I wanna help you forget, Amanda." His voice was deep and husky, full warring emotions of passion and compassion. "Whenever you are ready." He kissed her ear and traced the outer shell with the tip of his tongue. _

He meant every word he said last night. He would wait. He didn't know if he would ever see that spark in her eye that he saw when she challenged from her perch in the oak tree again but he would try to help her get it back.

She snuggled into him. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her neck just behind the ear. "Morning, baby."

"Morning," she replied sleepily and placed a light kiss on the inside of his elbow. She removed his hand from her breast and guided it lower over her shorts until she stopped at the heat between her legs. She began to rub his palm against her.

Her breath came in uneven gasps and she sounded like she might cry. Caesar stopped and moved his hand to the neutral area of her stomach. "You want me to touch you there, Amanda?" he asked, daring to hope that she would trust him that far.

She nodded her head against his arm.

"Tell me baby."

"I want you to fuck me," Amanda said, desperation lacing her voice. She needed his assurance that a man would actually want her again and that she would still be able to feel pleasure from a man's touch.

That wasn't what he had expected her to say at all. He hesitated and as much as he wanted to do what she asked, he couldn't take advantage of her vulnerability. "Baby, I don't have a condom."

It was just an excuse to reject her. "Don't need one if I'm pregnant." _Unless of course that mother fucker gave me a disease. _

"Maybe you aren't."

"Would you even wanna fuck me even if I am pregnant with Crowley's baby?" she asked doubtfully.

"Yeah. I would…I do…either way." That was the truth. He didn't care. He wanted her and if she had the baby, he would take care of it as his own.

Amanda sat up abruptly, pulling away from him. As she reached for her shirt, Caesar dropped his hands to his sides, unsure what he had done to upset her.

"Well I guess if I'm not getting laid, I might as well get something to eat,"she said coldly, tugging the shirt over her head.

Caesar watched her blink back tears of rejection. He tried to break through the wall she was trying to rebuild around herself. "Please, don't go yet," he pleaded.

She tensed when he grabbed her hand. "You don't have to pretend you want me, Caesar."

"Pretend?" He sat up. "Shit, Amanda. You know what you do to me. You felt it," he said, looking pointedly down at the uncomfortable bulge pressing at his zipper. "This guy ain't pretending."

She smiled a little sheepishly at him. "I supposed _he_ isn't."

"C'mon baby," Caesar said softly, urging her back into his arms. "Stay with me a little longer." She relented to his coaxing and lay back into the hard expanse of his chest. He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger and let it bounce back. The morning light filled the cell with a soft glow and he wanted to see her. He brushed her hair back and kissed the side of her face. "Let me touch you again, Amanda."

When she didn't answer, he started to tell her it was okay if she didn't want to…if she had had enough but then she turned to him and covered his mouth hers, swiping her tongue across the front of his teeth. His hand snaked its way into her shirt to stroke the length of her bare back. "Don't ever think I don't want you," he whispered and met her tongue with his.

Keys jingled at the door of the cell block. "Caesar," she whispered harshly, pulling away.

"I hear it," he said, swinging his legs over the side of the bunk, pulling his shirt back on and buttoning it quickly. He put his gun in the back of his waistband and stuck his head out. "Hello?"

"Oh, hi, Caesar…I didn't know you were already sleeping here." A cheerful voice greeted him as Beth made her way into the cell block with an armload of boxes.

"It's early, isn't it?" He asked and paused when he saw Rick glaring at him from behind the young woman. "Is everything alright, Grimes?"

"Yeah, just unlocking the door for Beth but didn't realize it was already opened," he explained, slightly puzzled. Daryl or Carl must have unlocked the door for Amanda.

Caesar took the boxes from the blonde and carried them up to the perch knowing that's where the younger Dixon brother would settle in. "You want the stuff up here, Beth?"

"Yes," she answered gratefully. "Thank you so much, Caesar."

Amanda stepped out of her cell and into the room, pushing her hair behind her ears. Not what she wanted to face first thing in the morning…a perky teenager and a pissed-off looking ex-cop.

Beth waved at her. "Hey Amanda, I didn't know…" The  
realization struck the teen as soon as the words left her mouth. Beth looked at Rick then back at Amanda and Caesar who had returned to stand protectively by her friend's side. "Sorry…I, um…I can…shoot…why don't I come back later?"

"That's okay, Beth," Amanda answered for them all with a smile pasted on her face. That was one thing her momma taught her, how to smile in any situation, no matter how tense or awkward it was. She touched Caesar's arm. "You were just going to get a head start on breakfast, weren't you?"

"Uh, yeah, guess I was." He went grabbed his hat out of the cell and placed it firmly on his head. He paused as he passed her and asked, "Are you going to be alright, Amanda?"

She touched his cheek. "Of course, I will," she answered smiling up at him with best smile.

Caesar captured her hand and kissed her palm, not taking his dark eyes off her clear blue ones. "Don't be late for breakfast. It'll be better than yesterday."

Beth laughed nervously. "It can't be worse, Caesar. Please hurry before Oscar tries to cook again. I'll be there shortly."

Some kind of grunt came from Rick but he didn't say anything. Martinez nodded to Grimes as he brushed by him going out the door.

Rick leaned against the metal bars of the door frame and crossed his arms. He looked around the newly cleaned-out block but wouldn't meet Amanda's eyes.

She stood in the middle of the room with her arms crossed. "I'm sure you have something else to do, _Officer Rick_."

It didn't slip his notice that she called him the same thing her daddy did. It got under his skin no matter how he tried to ignore it. "I'm not leaving you ladies here alone."

Amanda huffed. "This area's been cleared out. We'll be fine."

"Can't be too safe. I'm not comfortable with it."

"I'm not comfortable with you here," she retorted.

"I think I'll go upstairs and put my stuff away," Beth said to neither one in particular.

When the young blonde was out of site, Rick moved into Amanda's space and frowned at her. His voice was low and accusatory. "What are you doing with _him_?"

"Since I'm not with _you_, I don't know why it's your business." She didn't back down though she really wanted to. He was too close.

"Because, Mandy, I care about you," he whispered harshly close to her face so Beth couldn't hear.

"Really?" She snorted. "Because I'm have a hard time seeing it."

He waved her reply off. "I don't trust him. Neither does Daryl. I just don't wanna see you get hurt."

Her eyes were bright with tears but she blinked them away. "I don't think anyone could hurt me more than you have." She promised herself that she wouldn't cry in front of him anymore.

Rick closed his eyes for a second. Maybe it was the truth but it was not the point he was trying to make. "What do you really know about the man, Mandy?"

"Daddy trusts him and that's good enough for me."

"Merle Dixon trusts him?" he replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well that should have sent up a red flag."

"Hey!" she said, angrily, slapping him hard on the cheek. The sound echoed through the cell block. "Don't talk about my daddy like that again."

Rick rubbed his stinging cheek and stepped back. "Guess I deserved that."

"Damn right, you did. My daddy has bent over backwards to stay out of your way so we could all live in peace here."Amanda defended her father. It couldn't be easy to live next door to the same man he forced him to cut his hand off. And though he never pretended to get along with Rick, he tried not to go out of the way to antagonize him. Actually, that wasn't true. The more she thought about it, her daddy seemed to get great pleasure out of antagonizing Rick.

Rick looked at the ceiling and blew out his breath. He shook his head and looked back at Amanda. "You're right. I'm sorry. What I said was uncalled for." He went on. "I'm sorry about what is happening between us."

Tears threatened to well up in her eyes so she just nodded in acceptance of his apology, afraid her voice would crack.

"I still love you, Mandy." He lifted her chin with a finger forcing her to meet his gaze. "Nothing's going to change that." Rick sighed heavily. "I know I haven't done anything right since you came back from Woodbury. I don't know how to fix it." He leaned down and softly kissed her cheek.

Amanda didn't know why she did what she did but she had to do it. She turned to capture his lips…she just had to know…His hand slid around to the back of her neck and tangled in her messy curls. She closed her eyes and a soft moan escaped as the exquisite feeling of his mouth against hers once again sent tendrils of longing through every fiber of her body. He pulled away too soon. "Mandy, honey, please understand that I am truly sorry." Then he straightened up and cleared his throat. "I'll be just outside the door when ya'll are ready to go."

Amanda nodded, her fingers touching the exact spot where his lips just were. She was still rooted in place when Beth stepped quietly down the stairs and stopped in front of her.

"Amanda," she said, gently, hooking a finger under the strap of her tank top, "I suggest you fix your shirt before breakfast."

Startled out of her state of shock, she looked down hesitantly. _Shit!_ Her shirt was on backwards and inside out. She thanked her friend sheepishly and ducked into her cell to put it on properly.

* * *

Merle watched with amusement the flurry of activity in the kitchen. All the cooks but Cherry Blossom showed up. After yesterday's breakfast fiasco, he expected nothing less.

"Hey, Betty Crocker. I need to holler at ya a minute." Rowan, Carol and Martinez all turned around at the same time.

Caesar smiled ruefully and wiped his hands on a towel. "Sorry ladies but I think he means me."

"Have fun," Carol chuckled went back to preparing the food.

Rowan blew Merle a kiss. He smirked. If she thought he was gonna "catch" it she was crazy. She laughed at his sour face and turned away to help Carol.

"What's up, Boss?"

"Got some business on the north side of the prison," Merle said. "Grab a weapon. Biters are building up"

"Got one," he said, patting the sheath of the knife on his hip. He also picked up a baseball bat on the way out. Carol had thoughtfully filled a trashcan with bats and sat it by the door in case of emergencies.

When they were well away from the main building, Merle informed his friend of his plans. "Gonna scout out Woodbury in a couple of days."

"Okay. What do you need me to do?"Martinez was ready to get on with it. The sooner they disposed of the Governor the better.

"Stay here." His tone was hard and brooked no argument.

Why the hell would he want him to behind? He needed him for back-up. "What? Wait, Dixon. I know the place almost as well as you…"

"Me and my brother are going. That's all."

Caesar didn't say anything more but he was obviously not happy about being left behind.

Merle slowed his steps and turned toward the man he considered a friend. "When did you decide?" His voice became hard.

_What the fuck is he talking about?_ A cold fear clutched Caesar's stomach. "Decide what, Dixon?"

Merle grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around, his knife to his throat before the man could take another breath. "Not to give us away to the Governor," he growled pressing the razor sharp blade just under his chin.

Martinez didn't struggle or feign ignorance. He just sighed. "Shit. How'd you know?"

"Gut feeling," Dixon answered, not letting up.

A thin line of crimson trickled down Caesar's neck. "Why didn't you kill me then?"

"Needed ya to get my girl out," he answered, straightforwardly. "Simple as that."

"And when you didn't need me?"

Merle shrugged and dropped his right arm, wiping Caesar's blood off the blade. "When I didn't need ya, Amanda did."

"If you knew, why the fuck did you leave me with Rowan and Amanda when you went for the truck?" He wiped the thin cut on his neck with the hem of his shirt.

"Didn't have much of a choice. Ladybug couldn't walk any more. Wasn't sure Rowan would much help against the biters. I knew you weren't gonna hurt my baby girl," he said confidently. "Ya got a big soft spot for women. It's one of your weaknesses."

Martinez rubbed his beard nervously. He didn't know where this was going to go but hopefully it wouldn't end up with him being dead...he wasn't sure he was out of the woods just yet. Dixon had always been unpredictable.

"Ya killed two men. Who were they?"the older man asked, curious but unconcerned.

"Marcus and Jones. How'd you know?" _Was there anything the man didn't know? He thought he hid the bodies well._

"Daryl told me. Came across the bodies in the bushes, one had a broke neck and they both had fresh lobotomies. Nice work." They had reached the north fence and Dixon banged on it with his "bayonet," calling the biters over. "Ya still got plans to move back to Woodbury, Martinez?"

He studied the man carefully, feeling like there was something else he was getting at. "Not as long as the Governor is in charge."

Merle nodded. He was going to have to put his faith in the man again. "Martinez, I don't trust Officer Rick to take care of my family when I'm gone so I'm leavin' 'em in your care." He shoved his knife through the fence and into the eye of a biter in a shredded three-piece suit. "That's my daughter, my woman, and my baby." He pulled back and stabbed another one, this one in a police uniform. He smiled as he watched it fall to the ground and then he turned to the younger man and stare him directly in the eyes. His voice was dangerous and sent cold shivers down the other man's spine. "If anythin' happens to anyone of 'em, I will gut ya. Understand?"

Martinez nodded, relieved he was still breathing. "Yes, Boss."

"Good!" Dixon smiled broadly and slapped his friend on the back. "Now, let's kill the rest of these mother fuckers before breakfast."

* * *

Daryl snuck up behind Beth and grabbed her by the waist. She screamed and he covered her mouth quickly with his. "Hush, Angel, I finally got ya alone so don't be calling the others."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he backed her in to the newly decorated cell. He eased her down onto the bottom bunk, protecting her head with his hand so she didn't hit it in the top one.

When he let her up for air, she asked breathlessly, "What do you think?"

"That you are the sweetest thing on earth." He kissed her neck, making her giggle.

"No, I meant about the cell."

"Mmmmm. Nice," he said, not lifting his head.

"Our very own place."

Daryl propped up on his elbows to look at her. _Damn. _She was serious.

"Ours."

Her smile was so pretty and she was so happy that he should have kept his mouth shut, but being a Dixon, he didn't. "Beth, darlin', I ain't sleeping in a cell."

"But Daryl…we can't sleep there," Beth protested as she gestured toward the perch. "Not if we're going to…you know."

He rolled to the side as she sat up, his hand on her leg. He kissed the bare skin of her thigh just below the hem on her shorts.

"Daryl? Are you listening to me?" she asked, impatiently.

"What, sugar?" he answered, distractedly as his hands worked their way around to her cute little ass. He wanted to see her again so he started unbuttoning her shorts.

She pushed his hands away. Beth buttoned her shorts again and looked at him sternly.

He flopped on his back. He knew he wasn't getting anything til she was done talking. Why did women always wanna talk? Shit…was this because he said he wouldn't sleep in her cell.

"Daryl? You won't sleep with me in the other cell block because of Daddy. You won't sleep in our cell because I don't know why. So that leaves the perch and outside."

"Okay." Both were logical solutions to him. He didn't see the problem.

"Not okay," she informed him. "It's gonna get cold soon so sleeping outdoors will be out of the question. And…and there is no privacy up there!"

_Why is she getting pissy?_ "Beth, darling, it's only gonna be us. And Merle and Rowan. And Amanda. Oh yeah, Martinez. Ain't nobody gonna pay attention to us."

Beth huffed and shook her head. _He had to be kidding, wasn't he?_

"What's matter baby?" he teased, kissing the side of her neck. "Ya afraid ya might get loud again?"

"Daryl!" Her cheeks flamed at the memories of her unexpected responses to her orgasms. The girl didn't know why she got so flustered when he made comments about it, but she did. She wasn't used losing complete control of her actions. She tried to leave, hide her embarrassment, but he pulled her back down on the mattress trapping her body under his.

"Nothin' wrong a little noise, sweet cheeks," Daryl said, nuzzling her neck and squeezing her ass. "Tells me I'm doin' it right."

Beth wiggled under him and he worked his body into the space between her legs. He captured her hands and held them above her head, kissing her into submission which wasn't difficult at all. She locked her ankles around his waist and seemed to forget what she was embarrassed about just a moment ago. Her hair had come loose from it ponytail and her face was flushed and his body responded instantly.

He practically purred in her ear. "There ain't nobody here now, sugar. It's alright if ya gotta to scream." He nibbled on the delicate lobe and worked his way down her neck pulling at the tie of her peasant top with his teeth while his hands quickly unfastened her shorts. "Got another one of those condoms, Angel?"

* * *

Daryl Dixon knew he shouldn't have come to Merle with advice about women but hell, who else was there? _Possum was out of the question right now. There was Grimes…Pft…he was so fucked up with whatever his head was wrapped around he wouldn't be any help to anybody. Herschel was Beth's father so he was way out of the question. Glenn…eh…probably not. He and Maggie were attached at the hip and if he talked to one he would have to talk to the other. Then it would get back to Beth and he'd be screwed and not in the good way…Fuck. Oscar, maybe, but he wasn't comfortable talkin' to him about personal shit. Martinez? Hell no and enough said. Carl? _Daryl snorted to himself. _That was probably his best bet out of this sorry bunch but for some reason the boy was mad at him. Kept givin' him dirty looks and leavin' the room when he walked in. Whatever._ His head hurt and he needed a drink.

"Pay attention, boy. I got more important things to do than holdin' your hand." The older Dixon smirked at his baby brother. "If ya think ya can solve all your woman problems by fuckin' her 'til she shuts up…well, then you're just an idiot." He shook his head and chuckled. "I hate to break it to ya, Darylina, but that'll only work for so long…then you better learn how to say 'yes dear, whatever you want,' if ya ever wanna get laid again."

"Ya ain't helping." Daryl sat across from Merle in the empty dining room and watched idly as his brother cleaned the cover he wore on his right arm. He said that he and Martinez cleared a band of walkers from the north fence that were getting to thick. "Ya can't tell me ya say that to Rowan."

"You don't have to use those exact words, dummy," Merle replied impatiently. Sometimes his brother was dense. "My woman ain't got no complaints. No indeedy." He smiled to himself remembering just this morning how she demonstrated her happiness. "Besides, is it really gonna kill ya to sleep in a cell? Ya can fuck in one. Why can't ya sleep in it?"

"Damn it Merle, I can't do it. Feels like the bars start closing in on me. Thought you said weren't gonna sleep in one ever again."

"I weren't, but it don't feel like prison much when I got a willing, naked woman lying next to me. Plus, bro, a good fuck'll put ya right to sleep and maybe ya won't wake 'til morning."

Daryl shook his head. He just couldn't do it. He spent enough time in jail, not near as much as Merle, but enough to know that sleeping in a cell wasn't going to happen.

Seeing the worry on his baby brother's face got Merle to thinking. "Tell ya what. I got an idea that just might work. I was going to do it for me and Rowan but I think you need it more. Follow me." Merle said, standing up and heading for the door. "You and Cherry Blossom can have the perch to yourselves. I ain't letting Rowan climb anymore stairs 'til this baby is born."

* * *

_**A special thanks to siarh for her amazing fortitude in the editing of this chapter. Please check out her fanfic-you won't be disappointed!**_

_**Thanks to all my readers. Please take a moment to leave a review and let me know what you think.**_


	35. Chapter 35

Rick watched Amanda play with Judith in the prison yard from his vantage point on the breezeway. His daughter toddled back and forth between the dark-haired woman and Herschel, who had assumed a grandfatherly role in his baby's life. Rowan and Beth worked in the garden, harvesting more crops to can. Under the former farmer's supervision, the crops had produced more than Rick could have imagined and the group may soon be set for the winter with vegetables.

Judith thrived under the love of the entire group. She was a happy, loving, friendly child who was utterly spoiled by her adopted aunts and uncles. Rick would have never been able to picture a Dixon with a baby but both men seemed unusually adept at handling children. Even Carl looked up to the rednecks. That was Rick's fault. Daryl stepped in when he was out of his head with grief over Lori's death. He took care of Carl and made sure Judith had formula.

Judith was done with formula now but they would probably need some when Rowan's baby was born…and Amanda's if in fact she was pregnant. He was transfixed by her seemingly carefree attitude when she was playing with his daughter. The wind blew her unruly hair across her face even though she had tied it a bandana around it. She brushed it back and he imagined for a minute that she met his gaze and smiled in his direction. It had be a trick of the sun and shadows. She had no reason to smile at him.

But, yesterday…she kissed him.

Rick had insulted her father for no other reason than his own pettiness and she slapped him. He had tried rather clumsily to apologize for the pain he caused her…and then he saw the tears in her eyes. It broke his heart. She tried to hide them but he saw…and he knew he was still in love with her so he told her. He only meant to kiss her cheek but she turned so his lips met hers. She kissed him and he kissed her back. He grabbed the back of her head because he was afraid she would pull away but she didn't. She leaned into him, into the kiss and it shook him. He felt all of her pain, her longing, and her love in that single kiss and it shook him to the core. What a fool he had been…

* * *

Carl Grimes had been sulking for a couple of days. He had a problem and no one to talk to about it. He was pretty good friends with Oscar but this was something very private and very important. He finally went against his better judgment and sought out his father who was on breezeway where he could often be found with a pair of binoculars searching the edge of the woods for any new threats. "Hey, Dad!"

Rick pulled himself out of his thoughts and his attention away from Amanda and Judith to turn and greet his son. "What's up, Carl?"

"I need to talk to you,"the younger Grimes admitted reluctantly.

The seriousness of his son's tone set Rick's senses on high alert. "What's on your mind?" he asked, putting a hand on his boy's shoulder. _Damn, he'd grown tall over these past few months._

"Girls," answered Carl, grimly. "Or, just one girl to be exact."

_Shit_. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to talk to about girls, son, but tell me your problem and I'll see if I can help."

"Daryl stole Beth from me and I want her back."

What was he supposed to say to that? Rick rubbed his face. "Son…"

"I know she's an older woman but I'm almost a man." Carl said confidently, puffing his chest out a little but then he deflated and his voice took on the tone of hurt boy. "Couldn't she have waited another year for me, Dad?"

He'd be thirteen then…a teenager. But a man? He had grown more than any kid should have to this past year. Hell, he was more mature than any of them had been when they were his age. Rick was sure of it. But that was a lifetime ago. The world was different. Now it was just cold, hard and dead.

"Dad? Are you okay?" Carl looked up at his father with concern.

"Sorry, son," Rick said, squeezing his shoulder. "Did you ask her to wait for you?"

"Well, no, but I thought…I know that she liked me. Then all of the sudden, Daryl's all over her, kissing and stuff." Carl shifted uncomfortably at the disturbing images burned in his brain.

_God_, Rick wished Lori was here to handle this. "Carl, were you spying on them?"

"Of course not!" Carl was shocked that his dad would even think that. **"**I went to see if Beth needed any help moving to her new cell and I, um, well I saw them." He really should have left sooner than he did but…but he had to make sure Beth was okay. At least that's what he told himself.

Rick closed his eyes and rubbed his face tiredly. _Shit._ This wasn't any way for a boy to be raised. "I'm sorry you had to see that." Rick exhaled loudly and put his arm around his son. "Never assume a woman knows your feelings. You have to tell them."

"Is that what happened with you and Amanda? You didn't tell her but Caesar did and that's why she with him?" he asked. Carl didn't understand what had happened between his dad and Daryl's niece. She was going share a cell with him and then she was kidnapped. When they brought her back to the prison, she was hurt and angry. And she was still so sad.

_Damn it._ Rick didn't quite understand it himself. There was no way he could explain it to his son. "It's a bit more complicated than that, Carl."

"Is it because she's gonna have a baby? Is that why?"

Rick turned to look at his son. "How do you know all this?"

"Dad, there's no privacy here. Everybody knows everybody else's business." The boy didn't know why his dad was so surprised that he knew this. Who didn't? "Sometimes, I hear things I probably shouldn't or don't even want to hear."

_Oh God. _Rick was going to have to pull himself together so he could take better care of his children. Carl had no mother to talk to anymore and for all practical purposes his father had deserted him. What kind of burden had his boy been carrying around on his own? "Anything you need to tell me, son?"

"Bout what?"

"Things you heard. Things that are weighing heavy on your mind."

"I think Merle is hurtin' Rowan," he said quietly. Carl actually liked Merle. He was kind of scary but didn't treat him like a kid. He didn't want to get him in trouble but he couldn't let the man hurt Rowan either. She was always nice to him. "She hides it real well, Dad, but sometimes at night, I hear her…"

"Yeah," he cut his son off before he could go into detail. They all heard her and Dixon. "She's okay, Carl. He ain't hurtin' her." Thank God the couple would be moving a little further away very soon. Rick wished something or someone would rescue him from this conversation. "Anything else?"

"Can't think of anything."

Rick sighed with relief. "Well if you do, make sure to tell me straight way."

"Sure dad. I'll walk the perimeter with you later if you want some company." He hated to see his dad isolate himself so much and he planned on going with him even if he said he didn't want any.

"I'd like that, Carl," Rick answered, honestly. _Finally, this little father-son talk was over._

"So, Dad, how do I get Beth back?"

_Shit! So it wasn't over after all._

* * *

Judith was fussy. She was tired and refused to give in to the sleep that threatened to take over. Herschel tried rocking her but the toddler refused to be held down and wriggled out of his lap and ran away. She only made it about three feet until she fell on her face and let out wail that would call walkers from miles away. Amanda scooped out the grumpy girl and walked her around the prison yard, humming softly. She had a terrible singing voice or so she'd been told and wished Beth was on babysitting duty today. The teen had a magical way with children, well at least with Judith.

Amanda patted the baby's back and felt her struggles lessen if only a bit. She saw Rick on the breezeway. She squinted up at him. He was watching her. She felt herself turn red in embarrassment and anger. Why did she kiss him yesterday? If she was honest with herself it was because she still loved him and she wanted to know if he could physically stir her again.

The asshole kissed her back. Not long but long enough for her to know that yes…he could bring back all the feelings that she had for him before…before Woodbury.

But he pulled away. He kissed her back and then he pulled away. He was over her. Crowley ruined her for him. The kiss just cemented it. Damn it she wasn't going to cry. If she told herself that enough, maybe it would be true.

Judith had finally settled against her shoulder. Finally. The little lady was getting heavy. Amanda eased herself down inside the tent Rick had set up for them.

A shadow fell across her as her daddy's girlfriend joined them. Rowan plopped down on the blanket next to Amanda. "Need a break?" she asked softy so as not to disturb Judith.

"Now that she's almost asleep?" she answered sarcastically. "Thanks." Laying the princess on the blanket, making sure she was in the shade.

"Sorry," her friend laughed. "I really needed a break from gardening." She said rubbing her lower back.

"I'm not sure watching this little booger can be considered a break," Amanda laughed, "unless she is asleep." She kissed the baby girl's head.

Her relationship with Rowan had become strained ever since she found out the woman was carrying her half-brother or sister. She couldn't help feeling a little resentful because Rowan was so happy and beautiful and loved.

Amanda hated how everyone looked at her with pity. Even her own family. She didn't know how she would make it through the days if it wasn't for Caesar. He didn't look at her like she was damaged. Her daddy was brooding over something and she was afraid it was her. Daryl was…well Daryl. He was with Beth now, which was only obvious for the fact that he wasn't oblivious to her presence like before although he would never be demonstrative like his brother. Herschel seemed to be tolerating their relationship well enough. At least he didn't look like he was going to have a stroke anymore.

"Amanda?" Rowan was concerned. She reached out and touched her hand. "You wanna talk?"

_Shit_. "I'm fine," she said and turned the conversation around. "How are you feeling?"

Rowan smiled, almost shyly, which was a little ironic since she and Merle didn't seem to make much effort in keeping the noise down. Well if they did, it wasn't working. "I get tired a quicker than before but other than that I'm feeling pretty good."

Amanda smiled weakly and said, "I'm glad to hear that," hoping that it sounded sincere.

Caesar caught her eye and a real smile touched her lips. "Rowan, I think I will take a break. Sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. We'll be fine," she answered and curled herself around the sleeping baby girl.

Amanda made her way to where Martinez was working in the ditch. "Hello, gorgeous," he said wiping the sweat off of his face with his shirt tail.

"Hello. Need some help?"

"Digging the ditch?" he asked, looking skeptically at her thin arms. "No thanks, baby."

"I'm stronger than I look," she boasted, flexing her muscles.

Caesar rubbed his beard and covered his mouth to hide a smile. "I have no doubt but I was getting ready to take a break." He propped the shovel against the fence. "Why don't you join me?"

"I'd love to, although I haven't done any work yet," she admitted.

"Babysitting is work." He reminded her.

"True," Amanda agreed. Now that the baby was walking, watching Lil Ass-Kicker was a workout. "Princess Judith is a handful some days."

"The cooler is by the garden; let me get as couple of bottles."

They sat in the shade with their backs against the cool concrete wall. Caesar sat his hat in the grass beside him drank almost a two-liter bottle of water before he took her hand. "I'm glad I met you, Amanda."

"Thank you," she said squeezing his hand. "I'm glad I met you too." She meant it. She would have never thought that he would become the only person her she was comfortable talking to. He listened and he didn't judge her and whatever pity he felt he kept well hidden.

"You make life bearable in this shithole."

"I do?" She almost laughed. He couldn't mean that. She was such a mess and her shit was still piling up.

"It's true," he said and wiped a trickle of perspiration from the side of her face. "Before I met you, the only thing left in my life was killing biters. Nothing else mattered. Whatever it took, I would do it."

For a moment she saw a faraway look in his eyes but he shook it off and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

She turned to face him eyes wide and a half-smile on her face. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to." He finished off the water. "We were interrupted last time."

"Yes, we were," she agreed, crawling into his lap to straddle his thighs. Caesar held her waist with his strong hands and she pulled him closer by his sweat-soaked shirt, angling her head to meet his lips. He met her mouth tenderly at first and swept his tongue across the seam of her lips until they parted and her tongue greeted his hungrily.

Her hands found their way under the back his shirt and she trailed her palms down ridge of his spine until they collided with the handgun tucked in the band of his pants. "I hope the safety is on," she murmured against his lips.

"Me too," he groaned but didn't bother to check; instead he buried his hands in her hair, angling her mouth just right for a sweet deeper taste.

Winded, Amanda eventually sat back on his legs to catch her breath. His hands traveled up her sides and back down to her hips finally settling near the small of her back, fingertips just inside the waistband of her shorts. He was just as breathless as she was.

"Not bad, Martinez. Wanna take this somewhere more private?" When he hesitated, she was half-afraid that he was going to say no. She focused on her own hands which lay just beneath the hem of his cargo shorts.

_Oh hell, yes._ Caesar wanted that more than anything but first he had to get something off his chest. He tipped her chin to meet his gaze. "Baby, I do but we need to talk first. I don't want any secrets between us."

"Okay," she answered warily and tried to get off his lap but he pulled her closer.

"Don't go, Amanda." He requested, holding on to her thighs. "Just hear me out first. Please." Then he told her about the task the Governor had given him regarding her and her dad.

She didn't say anything until he was through. "Did you tell my daddy?"

He nodded. "Sort of. He figured it out first and asked me about it."

"What did he say?"

"Basically that he knew all along but used me to get you out." He smiled wryly, "and that he would gut me if anything happened to you."

Amanda snorted and chuckled. "Sounds about right."

She hadn't tried to move from his legs and he ran his hands along the outside of her thighs. "Well?"

"Well what?"

_That was it?_ He expected more. He didn't know what, though. Anger? Disappointment? Anything. "Is that all you have to say?"

"What am I supposed to say?" she asked.

"That you forgive me and it changes nothing between us?" At least that was what he wanted to hear.

"Nothing to forgive, Caesar." She said and leaned forward to kiss him. "Now about the private place you were talking about."

Unfortunately, on the way to the cell block, Daddy Dixon intercepted them, said he had some last minute details to go over with Martinez before the supply run tomorrow. Merle said it was just a run but Amanda thought he was awfully apprehensive for it to be so simple. She was summarily dismissed by her father while Caesar just shrugged. _What are you gonna do?_

Amanda rolled her eyes at them both and headed back inside the on her own.

Carol greeted her. "Maggie was looking for you? Did she find you?"

"No." That was odd they never really talked. "Do you know what she wanted?"

"Didn't say," Carol answered.

_Must not have been important._ Amanda shrugged it off and made her way to Cell block B to find Daryl on his new perch setting up a tent. She looked up at him with an amused expression on her face. "What on earth are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing? Setting up a damn tent." _Shit. Why did women always have to ask the obvious? _It was damned annoying.

She asked walking up to sit at the top of the stairs for a better view. "I can see that. I meant why?"

"Beth wants privacy and I ain't sleeping in no cell."

"Aww that is so romantic, Uncle Daryl," Amanda gushed.

He grunted, "Shut up, Possum," as he fit another mattress in the tent so there were two, side-by-side.

"I'm not making fun of you," she admonished. "I think it's a great idea for newlyweds."

"Just hush up," he growled as he tried to make the beds presentable.

"Want some help?"

He was getting a little annoyed at her persistent chattering. "Don't need it, Possum."

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah." _Fuck!_ He was trying to be patient with her because she'd had such a hard time lately but if she asked one more question...

"There you are, baby," Caesar called up to her as he entered the cell block

"This day just keeps getting better and better," Daryl muttered to himself but as much as he disliked the man at least his niece's attention would focus on someone else.

Martinez looked admiring up at the tent. "Nice tent!"

Amanda skipped down to meet him. "Isn't it? It's for Beth. Isn't that romantic?"

"Very," Caesar answered. "I didn't know he had it in him."

"Fuck both of ya'll!" Daryl threw something across the room and mumbled something about not needin' a fuckin' audience then stomped out of the cell block.

When the grumpy redneck's footsteps faded out of range, Caesar turned to Amanda and pulled her in his arms. "This is private enough now, isn't it?"

She smiled and turned her head up for a kiss, wrapping her arms around his waist and under the back of his shirt.

"Mmmm," he raised his head from her lips enough to ask, "Your cell or mine?"

"That is so cheesy!" she groaned. "But, since you asked, yours. I can't wait to see it."

"Right this way," he said, steering her with a hand to the small of her back into the cell right next to hers.

"How convenient."

He leaned over to kissed her bare shoulder. "That's how I planned it."

The Spartan room really had nothing in to identify the owner except a pair of boots and a set of clothes folded on the top bunk.

Caesar sat down on the bunk and watched Amanda wondering, and hoping, if she would join him. She only hesitated a minute before she went over to him and stood between his knees. His hands went to her hips and he kissed her through the fabric of her shorts.

"What do you want?" he asked, voice muffled in the fabric as his broad hands slid around the back to cup her ass.

She took of his hat and placed it on the top bunk. Then she rubbed her hands over the short thick hair of his head and down to his broad shoulders.

He bent forward and nudged her shirt up with his nose and licked a circle around her navel. She giggled, "That tickles!" and he pulled her down into his lap.

"You have a beautiful smile," Caesar said and kissed the tip of her nose. Amanda wrapped her arms around his neck and he laid back on his bunk, taking her down with him. He laced his fingers with hers and rested them on her stomach.

Her smile changed into something more, something confident. It showed in her eyes as she guided his hand lower under the waistband of her shorts and over her panties. He wanted to ask if she was sure but he was afraid she would change her mind and say no. The look in her eyes told him otherwise.

Caesar's breath caught in his chest as Amanda moved his hand, still entwined with his, inside her shorts. He curled his fingertips around the edge of her panties, brushing against the soft curls between her thighs. A low moan welled up from her throat and she clutched at his shirt with her other hand. "Is that what you want?" he asked.

She pulled him down and kissed him fervently. "Yes," she answered, parting her thighs. She wasn't wet, not enough but as he stroked her soft flesh with their combined hands, her liquid heat began to pool at his touch. He spread the moisture over velvety folds and dipped a finger just inside for more. She gasped and dug her nails into his hand. He tried pulling back but she wouldn't let him.

_It didn't hurt_, she thought with relief. It was only one finger but it didn't hurt. She shoved her hips up against his hand and he pushed it in all the way. "Oh God," she sighed and his lips touched hers.

"You okay, baby?" His low voice against her ear sent a shiver of longing down her spine.

She nodded and whispered breathlessly, turning her head to capture his mouth with hers. "More," she begged.

Caesar pushed another finger in and she gasped louder. He stopped. "Too much?"

"No, no," Amanda whined and rocked slowly against his hand.

Kissing her, he began to move his fingers matching the slow smooth rhythm of her hips. "That's it, baby," he murmured in her mouth. He found her clit with the pad of his thumb and pressed gently until her hands flew to his shoulder gripping them fiercely. "Don't fight it," he urged. "Let go, baby."

She pulled at his shirt popping off a button.

"Come for me."

The motion of her hips faltered at his insistence. "I can't," she cried into his chest.

"Baby…"

"I can't," she cried out again.

He quickly slid down her belly, leaving a fiery path with his tongue and lips until he reached her silk clad pussy and covered it mouth. She arched sharply into him and he gripped her ass with one hand pushing her panties aside, and plunged his tongue into her hot sweet center.

"Oh dear god," she moaned seizing his head with both hands, her short nails biting into his scalp. He lapped the velvety folds and flicked his tongue around her clit until she bucked and whimpered. Slipping his fingers back inside, he curled them along the front walls. He sucked the folds into his mouth and slowly licked a path around her clit and then sucked at her pussy again, never giving her a chance to hold back. She begged him to stop but squeezed his head between her thighs so he couldn't. Her hands grappled at his shoulders and head hips lifted off the mattress forcing herself into his mouth. A long wail burst from her lips as her walls clenched hard against his fingers "Oh God," she screamed as she collapsed on the mattress.

Caesar extricated himself and kissed her just below the navel. He rested his head on her belly, leaving a palm on the twitching flesh between her legs.

Amanda was covered in a sheen of perspiration and her breath still came in uneven gasps. She managed to stroke his head. God, she didn't think she would be able to respond like that to man's touch again.

Caesar kissed her belly and moved up to rest his chin between her breasts.

"You okay?" she asked languidly, caressing his cheek.

"Me?" Astonished, he shook with faintly with laughter. "Hell yeah, babe, never better…why you asking?"

"I think I drew blood," she said tracing a long scratch that started from his shoulder reached to his elbow.

"Well, if you did, Amanda, it was more than worth it."

His head was nestled between her breasts and she ran her fingers over his thick short hair. "Thank you, Caesar."

"Oh honey, I ought to be thanking you."

She snorted. "You did all the work."

"And," he said, raising up to kiss her, "I loved every minute of it."

She ran her bare foot down his fully clothed calf and slid her hands under the hem of his shirt so she could rest her palms against the hard sweaty muscles of his back. He laid his chest back down and fell into a light sleep, his slow and even breath caressing the gentle rise of her breast.

* * *

Amanda woke to Caesar nudging her. "Someone's coming, baby."

She sat up and straightened her clothes as did he. She reached across to touch his shirt where the button was missing. "Sorry," she said but it didn't sound very sincere. "I hope you don't expect me to sew it back on?" _Not that we could find it._

He grinned at her and teased, "You don't cook _or_ sew?"

"No, but I can skin a squirrel," she offred.

He laughed and brushed her hair away from her face. "That's good enough for me. I can sew it on myself."

"You can sew?" she asked. Damn, she had to ask Beth for help.

He was almost offended that she thought him incapable of such a small task. "I can sew a button on but don't ask me to make you a dress."

"Your sisters didn't do it for you?" she wondered out loud.

"You are obviously an only child," Caesar laughed at the shocked look on her face. "They didn't do shit for me. They weren't maids is what the told me."

"I think I would have liked them."

"They would have liked you, too," he said, with a sad smile. He helped her up and straightened her hair with his fingers.

"Do I look that bad?"

"You look beautiful, like you just been making out."

Amanda slapped at him playfully but he ducked out of the way with a chuckle and grabbed the clean shirt off the top bunk.

"Fuck, you still here?" Daryl shook his head at Possum when he entered the cell block, arms full of his belongings. He eyed Martinez dangerously when the man exited his cell pulling a t-shirt over head.

Caesar pulled his hat on and nodded to both Dixons. "I'd like to stay but I'm gonna be late for watch." He leaned over to kiss Amanda's cheek. "Come see me after dinner, baby." Her uncle practically growled at him.

Daryl waited until Martinez was gone and turned sharply to his niece. "Possum, what the f-"

She cut him off. "Save it. It's none of your damn business."

"The hell it ain't!"

With her hands on her hips and voice calm for a Dixon, she said, "Shut up because I'm not going to talk about Caesar with you."

He looked up at the ceiling and counted to about ten and choked out, "Okay," then turned away to carry his stuff to the perch.

When he came down, she was still there. "Walk with me to the kitchen," she asked. "I need to ask you something."

"Go on," he replied, closing the cell door behind them.

She looped her arm in his. "When ya'll were searching for me, did you find any clues I left behind?"

"Like what?" He had almost forgotten and he was surprised she remembered at all.

"Anything."

"Pft." He knew what she was getting at. He stopped in the corridor and turned her to face him. "Maybe your gun." He paused. "Or a strip of rubbers?"

She squirmed a bit under his steady gaze. "The last one that's it. I'll be needing them back," she informed him and then added, "if you and Beth haven't used them all."

_Damn, I should've kept them. _Daryl smirked and then grinned, "No, Possum, we didn't use them. I figured you left them for Grimes so I gave 'em to him."

"Shit!" she cursed.

Her uncle genuinely laughed. "So if ya want 'em, I suggest you ask him."

"Fuck!"

"Hey, what you laughing at?" Beth joined them.

Daryl his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. He kissed the top of her blonde head. "Nothing important, sugar. I gotta find Merle and help pack the truck for tomorrow. Wanna come with me?"

"I wanted to talk to Amanda," she told him, rising on her toes to give him a quick kiss.

"Okay, darlin'. Stay out of trouble you two," he called over his shoulder as he walked away, making sure Amanda knew he was mainly talking to her so she flipped him off and he just laughed.

Beth grabbed Amanda's hands. "That wasn't nothing! I don't think I ever heard him laugh like that. It was almost…maniacal."

Amanda couldn't agree more. Her uncle was an ass more often than not. "You still have a lot to learn about him." Amanda muttered ominously. She would not be one-upped by her uncle though. "I have a proposition for you, Beth."

"Sure," she answered, not even asking what it was.

"I need you to get something that belongs to me from Rick's cell."

"Piece of cake, the teen smiled. She was always in there with Judith. "What is it?"

"Condoms."

Beth's eyebrows shot up almost getting lost in her hairline. "Rick has condoms?"

"You can't say anything," Amanda cautioned her.

"Duh," she answered rolling her eyes just like a teenager. "Why does he have condoms?"

"They're mine. I got them on my last run and Daryl mistakenly gave them to Rick. I can't ask for them back so I need your help." _Please let this work._

Beth smiled sweetly. "Sure."

"Good. Thank you."

"If you split them with me 50/50."

"What?" _Shit!_ She didn't remember how many she'd had. Did she really want to share half of them?

"I'm the one taking a chance on getting caught," Beth pointed out. "Stealing from a cop? I don't know, Amanda. That could be tricky."

_Shit._ "Former cop," she corrected her. "How about 60/40?"

"Sixty for me?" Beth asked in feigned ignorance.

"No!" Amanda exclaimed.

What if I get them by tonight?" The younger woman countered calmly with a sly grin, knowing that she had won.

"Fine. 40/60." She agreed but was more than frustrated with her friend's superior negotiating skills.

"Deal," Beth grinned at the older woman. Then in a more serious tone, she asked, "Are you sure you wanna do this, Amanda?"

"Get my condoms back?" she asked, trying to deflect the question she didn't want to answer.

Beth wasn't fooled. "No. You know what I mean…with Caesar."

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked, refusing to look Beth in the eye. "He's a good man. He has a fantastic body _and_ he bathes regularly."

The younger woman ignored that last jibe at Daryl but she would have to talk to him about that later. "Because you love Rick and he loves you."

"Doesn't matter anymore," Amanda replied quietly.

Beth was so frustrated with her friend's apparent ability to walk away from love. "Of course it matters! You love each other! What else is there?"

"You don't understand, Beth." There was so much more to it than that. Why couldn't she see it? Because she was only eighteen. That's why. And despite the end of the world the girl still believed in happily ever afters.

"Explain it to me because all I see is two people that love each other and both of them are hurting." She grabbed her friend's arm. "Whatever it is, you can fix it. I know you can."

"I tried." Amanda pulled her arm gently away. "Rick doesn't want me anymore."

Beth crossed her arms and said stubbornly, "I don't believe that."

"It's true and I'm dealing with it the best I can," she said walking away.

"By having sex with Caesar?"

_If that's what it takes, Yes_. "I'm done with this conversation, Beth."

* * *

**As always, thank you loyal readers and reviewers!**

**Please drop me line. I love reviews!**


	36. Chapter 36

Beth Greene was not a criminal by nature but her hormones overruled her best judgment regarding this particular transgression. And it would be too easy; so she wasted no time in getting the job done. All she had to do was enter Rick's cell, like usual, pick up some dirty clothes or something that belonged to one of his kids and no one would be the wiser.

_Now, where would he keep condoms?_ She was pretty familiar with his meager belongings and hadn't seen them in the regular course of the day. She hated to dig in his personal bag but that was the only place left that she hadn't looked.

"What ya looking for?"

Beth shrieked and whirled around. "Carl Grimes, you just about scared the life out of me!" she exclaimed holding her hand over her chest trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. "I was just looking for any clothes here to wash."

"Carol did them yesterday." He crossed the little room eyeing her speculatively. He climbed upon his bunk because it made her look up at him and he didn't feel like a little kid.

She wasn't going to get anything done now. "Well, if that's the case then I'll be going, Carl. See ya!" She gave him a little wave and headed out the door.

"Wait a minute, Beth!" Carl called to her. He pulled something out of his pillow case and held it up. "Is that what you're looking for?" A long strip of foil packets dangled from his fingers.

"Carl Grimes! What are you doing with those?" she huffed and grabbed for them. "Give them to me right now! Before your father finds you with them." That ought to scare him, she thought smugly.

The preteen boy held them just out of her reach. "Maybe we can make a deal?" he suggested, cocking his head to the side and pushing the brim of his hat up so she could see his eyes and know that he was serious. "I like you and you like me. We can…kiss…or you can let me see your…"

"Why you little brat," she sputtered. Beth didn't get angry much but she was on the verge of losing her temper with this kid.

"C'mon Beth, we're friends," he whined. "Why not?"

"Because we're not that kind of friends!" _Seriously? Did he think she liked him like that just because she was nice to him?_

"I don't want to die a virgin!" he taunted in a high-pitched voice.

That did it. That pushed her over the edge. "You little monster! You've been spying on me." She grabbed him by the foot trying to pull him down.

"What the hell is going on in here?"

Beth jumped back. _Damn it!_

"Nothing, Dad," Carl said and tried to hide the condoms but he wasn't quick enough to escape his dad's sharp sight.

"Give me those!" Rick said snatching them out of his hand at the same time.

Beth wanted to sneak out behind Carl's dad but she didn't want to leave without the prize. She eyed the shiny strip of little squares that was now firmly in Rick's grasp. _Shoot!_ How was she going to get them now? If she somehow managed to snag them, she was taking at least a 70% cut.

"Carl, you gonna tell me what in the hell you are doing with these?"

His dad was really angry. The only thing he could think of to say that might save his butt was a lie. "Uh, er, nothing. I just found them. I don't even know what they are."

"You just found them in my things?" Rick raised his eyebrows like he didn't even come close to believing his son's story. "Get out, son; I'll deal with you later."

After Carl left, Rick turned to Beth, surprised she was still there. He put a hand on her shoulder. She was shaking and her face was a bright pink. "Beth, hon, are you okay?" What on earth did his son do to upset her so much? "Did Carl say something to you?"

She shook her head and avoided his interrogation gaze. "He's fine, sir."

"You can tell me, Beth. If he said or did anything inappropriate I need to talk with him." _Shit._ _I'm going to have to have one anyway._ He felt a faint throbbing begin at his temple.

"Really, sir. It's fine," she replied. She couldn't quite meet his eyes when she asked, "Do you mind if I take those?" and pointed to the condoms.

Rick gave her a puzzled look. "Um, sorry Beth but they aren't mine to give away."

"I know that. I, er, Amanda…" _Shoot! I didn't mean to say that!_

And then it dawned on him. "Wait a minute. Did Mandy send you here to get these?"

She couldn't look at him but she nodded. "Sort of."

"Shit," he said, shaking his head. He mumbled, "You've got to be kidding."

"Sorry," she squeaked.

He ran his hand through his hair. _Unbelievable_. "Tell you what, Beth, why don't you rescue your dad and watch Judith for a while and I'll return these to Amanda." He pocketed the condoms.

_Oh lord, I'm in for it now._ "Yes sir," Beth answered quickly and scurried off.

* * *

Daryl just finished his watch and was looking for Beth. He didn't ask anyone because he was trying to slip away with her for a little…loving, fucking, whatever. He thought finally having her would help ease his desires but it actually had the opposite effect. Now that he had a taste, he wanted more. He was pretty proud of his little set up on the perch. It was actually Merle's idea but Beth didn't need to know that.

The little princess was with Herschel. Carol and Rowan were chattering away in the kitchen. Maybe Beth still had more shit to move from her old cell. Daryl was headed to Cell Block C when he heard the patter of soft-soled shoes running his way. "Whoa there, Angel!" he said, trapping his quarry as she rounded the corner. "Must be looking for me if you're in such a hurry."

"Dear lord Daryl!" she exclaimed.

"Someone chasing you?"

She shook her head. "No, I just…it's nothing." She caught her breath and smiled at him. "I wasn't looking for you but I'm glad you found me." She pressed her body into his and placed a kiss at the base his neck. He tilted her head up to capture her mouth but not before he glanced around to make sure no one was watching.

She rose on her toes and licked the outer shell of his ear. "Think anyone is in B-block at this time of the day?"

"If they are, I'll kick 'em out," he growled and shoved her playfully toward the corridor. "C'mon, sugar, I been thinkin' of you all day." He swatted at her ass but missed "Damn girl!"

Blonde hair flying behind her, she ran ahead and teased, "You got to catch me first, Dixon!"

Daryl grinned. There was no way he was _not_ gonna catch her before she reached the end of the hallway. He loped along behind her gaining ground quickly. Beth looked over her shoulder and sped up seeing how close he was but it was too late.

She shrieked when he grabbed her around the waist lifting her feet off the ground. "I don't think I can wait," he said, turning her around in his arms and pushing her back against the wall. His mouth settled on the pulsing vein at the hollow of her throat.

"I thought…ooooh," she moaned as his hands found their way under her shirt and bra to her bare breasts.

"Thought what, angel?" he mumbled against her skin sending shivers to the tips of her toes.

She slipped her hands under the front of his shirt finding his flat nipples and rolling them into hard pebbles.

"Fuck!" he growled and reached for the button of her shorts.

"I thought you weren't going to do me against a wall," she reminded him, breathlessly.

He snorted, "That was the just for first time, darling." He yanked down her zipper and reached for his. Now, that he already had her, he had no qualms about fucking her whenever or wherever they could as long as it was private. There just hadn't been near enough chances lately for his taste.

"Got a condom?" she asked with hope in her voice.

"Fuckin' hell!" Of course he didn't. He was planning on doing this in the tent not the corridor. He exhaled, frustrated. He zipped his pants and then hers. He kissed her forehead. "Still some in your cell?"

She nodded with a grin.

They stopped right outside the cell block B. Daryl grabbed her arm to keep her from entering before him. "Lemme go in first. Make sure it's clear."

"Hurry," she said, pulling down his head for one more kiss and slipping her tongue between his lips.

"Shit, girl. If you don't cut that out…" she smothered his warning with her mouth and he finally had to tear himself away. He pushed her hands away. "I mean it, Beth." A spark of mischief danced in her pretty blue eyes and she grabbed his ass as soon as he turned away.

"You're playin' with fire, girl."

"I hope so."

Daryl shook his head and held his hand up for her to stop. He opened the door and looked around. "Hey!" he called out. "Anyone here?" His inquiry was met with silence.

He grinned and held his hand out. She put hers in his larger one. "I have a surprise for you, Angel."

"Really?" She loved surprises, well the good kind like birthday surprises, not the kind you come up on at the end of the world. She couldn't imagine what it could be.

Beth walked into the cell block and looked around. Not seeing anything unusual she glanced skeptically at Daryl. He nodded toward the perch but his face didn't give anything away.

She ascended the stairs, slowing her pace as she neared the top. She could feel the heat of his body right behind her. His hands came forward to hold on to her hips. She looked in wonder at her new "home."

"You did this for us?" she asked softly.

He leaned forward and kissed her bare shoulder. "Whaddya think?" She turned to him with tears in her eyes. _Shit. This could be good or bad,_ he thought. He was going to go with good because what possibly could be wrong with it?

And he was right. Beth threw her arms around his neck and sealed her mouth over his. He grabbed her ass and lifted her up to wrap her legs around his waist and he carried her up the last few steps. "Umm, Angel, darling, ya gonna have to let go if ya want me to unzip the tent," he said, reluctantly removing his lips from hers and dropping her feet to the ground.

She giggled and snagged another kiss. "Can I do it?" Her hands were already on the door flap.

He gave her a quick nod and she practically ripped the zipper down and crawled into the dim interior. She squealed and flopped down on her back on the mattress. "It's perfect!" she proclaimed.

"Ya think so?" He said crawling in after her.

"Come over here and let me show you."

* * *

Amanda hummed as she folded the clothes on the kitchen table. She felt better than she had in a long time. Light-hearted…she had almost forgotten what that feeling was like. Also, relieved that she wasn't totally "broken" as her little rendezvous with Caesar proved.

Caesar stopped in the doorway smiled at the woman he'd become so attached to in such a short time. He hoped the smile on her face and the off-key tune that she hummed were a direct result of their growing relationship.

He slipped up behind her and put his arms around her waist. She turned and kissed the side of his face. Her hair was piled in a mess on top of her head and that left her slender neck exposed so he took full advantage of it by licking the salty skin from her shoulder to the delicate spot behind her ear. She leaned back against his wide chest and he trailed his hand up her stomach, between her breasts to the hollow of her throat where his fingers caressed the warm flesh. Feeling her pulse quicken sent a rush of longing to his groin which didn't go unnoticed by Amanda since it poked her in the ass.

She reached behind her to stroke him through his pants but he seized her hand. "Shit, baby, I don't think I can take that right now." _MerleDixonMerle DixonMerleDixon. _There. Worked like a charm. He turned her around in his arms and thoroughly kissed her until he was dizzy and she was dazed. He opened his eyes to see her blue eyes staring at him.

"I felt that."

"What?" he feigned ignorance.

"You know what, Caesar! How did you make _it_ go down so fast?"

He shook his head and laughed. "That's my secret baby and I ain't ever gonna tell!" He kissed the end of her nose.

She flattened her palms against his chest and circled his nipples through his shirt. "I bet I can make you." She leaned forward and mouthed one through the thin fabric.

He allowed himself to enjoy it for about ten seconds before he pulled her head away. _ MerleDixonMerleDixonMerleDix on. _ "I'll tell you what, sweetheart, give me some of those clean clothes behind you and I'm going to shower." He kissed her lips swiping the lower one with his tongue. "And then, later, in the cell block, I might let you try getting my secret out of me." With one more kiss he tore himself away.

"Okay. I accept your offer but be warned, Martinez, I play dirty," she said as she handed him his clothing.

"I was counting on it, you being a Dixon and all." He winked and started to turn away.

Amanda flicked a towel at his ass. He was too fast. but he grabbed it with his free hand and pulled her to him. She squealed, "Damn it! How did you -" and he smothered her mouth with one last kiss.

"Hey, Amanda, Caesar," Maggie said, standing in the doorway with a wry look on her face.

"Oh, hey, Maggie," the other woman answered, flushed and slightly breathless.

Caesar nodded to Maggie and then kissed Amanda on the cheek. "See ya later, baby."

"Those are yours and Glenn's." Amanda pushed a stack of clothing across the table toward the oldest Greene sister. "Carol said you were looking for me?"

"Um, yeah. I was." Maggie entered the room almost reluctantly. "What's going on with you two?"

"You had something to tell me?" she asked frostily. She wasn't happy with the interest that everyone seemed to have in her personal life and was tired of justifying her actions.

Thankfully, the other woman took the hint and didn't ask anything else. She pulled a package out of her pocket and gave it to the dark-haired woman. "I picked this up a while back but turned out I didn't need it. Thought you might be able to use it."

Amanda took the small box. A pregnancy test. It took a moment to register. Her hand started shaking.

"Hey," Maggie said, taking her shoulder. "Amanda?" She grabbed a chair and shoved it behind the trembling woman.

_Oh God. _She sat down hard. Her breath came in hoarse gulps. Now she would know for sure. She could tell herself she wasn't pregnant, that she was just being paranoid but now she would have to face the truth one way or the other.

* * *

"Amanda!" Rick called out to her in one of the corridors. She didn't know where she was going but she needed to be alone to think. She practically crushed the box in her hand. She needed to get the guts to take the damn test and she didn't need or want to talk to a pissy Rick. That's the tone she heard in his voice so she didn't turn around. She kept walking faster. His footsteps fell faster.

"Shit!" Amanda cursed as she stumbled over her own feet in a hurry to get away.

Rick grabbed her by the elbow to keep her from falling. 'What the hell is going on? Do you know-" He stopped when he saw the tears on her face and the desperate look in her eyes. "Honey, what's the matter?"

She shook her head; curls fell loose from the knot of hair on top of her head.

He wrapped her in a hug, "Mandy, love, talk to me."

"I can't," she replied, tearfully wiping her nose on his shirt.

C'mon." He gently led her to the infirmary and unlocked the door.

_Oh God, of all places,_ she thought, _not here._ _Be a Dixon! _She shoved the test into her pocket and sucked in big gulps of air trying to calm down. She leaned against the counter; the counter where Rick touched her…she quickly stepped forward like she'd been burned.

"Honey," he reached for her shoulder.

_Please don't touch me. I might fall apart. _She pulled away, eyes wide.

"Mandy, I'm not going to hurt you." _How could she even think that?_

"I know," she sniffled, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, Rick. Did you want me for something?"

"It doesn't matter."

"No, I'm fine," she insisted. "What is it?"

"Well, honestly, I was going to lecture you about sending a girl to retrieve your condoms but it doesn't seem so important, now."

"We know Beth isn't a girl anymore."

"Yeah…that's true. This life makes you grow up too fast," he agreed, thinking of his own son.

Amanda nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Daryl said you left these for me." He held his hand out, foil packets shiny on his palm.

She shrugged, not meeting his gaze. If this test was positive, she sure as hell wouldn't need them.

"So technically, I believe they belong to me." The corner of his mouth was turned up in a half-smile.

That got her attention. "You're kidding?" Maybe she might not need them, he didn't need them either.

"Nope," he said, folding his fingers back over them and returning the condoms to his pocket.

"Fine," she said and headed for the door. Let him keep them. Right now she didn't give a damn.

He put a hand on her arm to stop her from leaving. "Don't go yet, Mandy."

"Please Rick," she replied, pulling away.

"You're upset and I know it's not about these." He patted his pocket. "I think it's about what's in yours." He eyed the large right pocket where the thing was.

"What are you talking about?" _Damn cop eyes!_

"You're a terrible liar and you know it, hon. I saw you stick something in there when we came in here. Something you didn't want me to see." He crossed his arms and pinned her down with his stare.

"So what makes you think I want you to see it now, Officer Rick?" She gripped what was left of the box tightly in her sweaty hand refusing to look away from his steady gaze; but she could feel her lower lip start to tremble so she bit it.

Rick reached down for her arm, wrapping his strong fingers around her wrist, pulling her hand out of the pocket with little resistance from Amanda. He eased her fingers one by one away from the package and took it from her hand for a closer look. He exhaled loudly.

Amanda burst into tears and he pulled her against him. "Mandy, honey," he whispered against her hair and rubbed her back trying to give her a little comfort if possible.

"I don't know if I can do it, Rick," she sniffled.

"You want me to get your dad or Daryl?" He didn't know who she'd want but he sure as hell wasn't offering to get Martinez.

"You're kidding, right?" She almost laughed through the tears.

"They're your family, honey."

"And I don't their help peeing on a stick." That would be a circus she didn't want to see.

"That's not what I meant. I thought you might need someone after…to wait with you…or when you get the results." _I'll stay if you want._

"And you're not volunteering?"

"Didn't think you'd want me here."

"I don't but I'm not going to wait for you to round up someone up to hold my hand!"

"Should I stay?"

"Do what you want," she muttered, trying to straighten out the crushed instructions so she could read them. "Shit. I have to pee on this for five seconds? I don't have to go that much."_ Fuck! Can't anything be easy?_

"Want me to get you a bottle of water?" He offered.

"Fine," she said, because until she had more to drink, this wasn't happening.

He didn't like the idea of leaving her hear by herself. "Wanna walk with me?"

"No."

_Of course she said no. He expected as much. Shit. _The stubborn set of her jaw told him she meant what she said. "Then, please don't leave."

She just looked at him, arms crossed.

"I mean it, Mandy."

"Okay, fine. Just go."

Rick returned with two bottles of water and Rowan in tow.

The taller woman took the directions from Amanda's hands. "You don't have to pee for five seconds, sweetie. You can pee in a cup first and hold the stick in it for that long, if you prefer."

"I don't have a cup," she said, drawing a long swig from the bottle.

"We are in an infirmary," the ever-helpful Rick pointed out. "I'll find you one."

Rowan patted Amanda on the back. "At least you'll know," she said.

Amanda nodded. Her Dixon resolve was fleeing and she was afraid her voice would crack if she said anything.

"What the hell is going on in here?" boomed her daddy's raspy voice. Merle looked from his lover, to his daughter, and then his nemesis.

"Oh well just fuck me!" Amanda said, running her fingers through her hair, loosening the rest of it so it fell across her forehead. "Why are you here, Daddy?"

"Maggie said you was upset and ran off. I was worried about ya, Ladybug." He actually sounded hurt.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Whatcha got there?" He grabbed the instructions from Rowan's hands. After a quick glance he breathed, "Fuck."

"Yeah." Amanda agreed.

"Well?"

"Can't pee."

He nodded, "Then keep drinking." Merle sat down on the doctor's stool. "What's Officer Rick doing here?"

"Moral support," Amanda answered for him.

Merle snorted. "How long does that thing take after ya piss on it?"

"Three minutes," Rowan replied.

"Okay then." He patted his legs, "C'mere, baby doll." Rowan sat on his lap and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder and glanced toward his daughter. "Why don't you relax on that stretcher, Baby Girl? Just until ya feel like you can take a piss."

_Uh, no._ Amanda shuddered. If her daddy only knew what had happened on the stretcher. She inadvertently glanced at Rick. He was watching her and by the look on his face he was remembering the same thing she was. She turned away when she felt the heat creep up her chest to her cheeks. "I think I'll stand," she mumbled.

Rick finally located a sample cup and handed it to Amanda. She looked at it and said, "I think I'd rather pee on the stick."

She rubbed her face and looked around at the three sets of expectant eyes. "I can't believe I have a fucking audience! Anybody bring popcorn?"

There was a knock at the door. All four heads turned in unison.

_Fuck!_ "Might as well come in," Amanda called out.

A freshly scrubbed Caesar opened the door and glanced around the room, a puzzled look on his face. "I heard voices." He looked around at the occupants of the infirmary and then back to Amanda. "Something wrong, baby?"

She held up the test stick, still in the wrapper.

Merle said "It's a pregn-"

"I know what it is." Caesar interrupted. In answer to Dixon's questioning look, he only said, "Had a wife…and kids," and didn't elaborate. A flash pain of their memory crossed his face then it was gone almost like it was never there.

Merle raised an eyebrow at his friend's revelation. Martinez had never mentioned them before. He brushed it off for the time being and turned to his daughter. "Ladybug, feel like ya can take a piss yet?"

"Shut up, Daddy." She looked at them all. "You realize there is no way I'm going to be able to pee with all ya'll listening."

"It is a bit crowded in here." Rowan stood up took hold of Merle's arm. "Amanda, Do you want us to leave?"

"Rowan, please stay. Everybody else can leave."

Merle didn't look to happy but this was women's business. He stood up and kissed his daughter on the forehead. "I love you, Baby Girl. C'mon Martinez, I got a few last minute details to go over with ya."

Caesar squeezed Amanda's hand and pressed a light kiss by her ear. "You're not alone." He followed Dixon out.

Rick came forward. "Rowan, mind if I talk to Amanda for a minute, alone?"

It really wasn't a question but Rowan looked at the other woman who nodded. "I'll be right outside." She stepped out shutting the door behind her.

"They way everybody's telling me goodbye makes me feel like I'm going in front of a firing squad."

The tears welling in her blue eyes tugged at Rick's heart. He tenderly wiped them away with the backs of his fingers. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, hoping she would turn to capture his lips again but she didn't. Inhaling the familiar scent of her stirred something inside of him. He swallowed hard and cupped her face turning her to kiss her lips.

"Don't," she whispered, her voice quavering. "If you can't live with whatever the results are, then please, I beg you, don't kiss me."

* * *

**Thanks to my sounding board and proofreader, Siarh.**

**Please read and review! i always want to know what my readers think and I respond to all reviews.**

**Happy reading!**


	37. Chapter 37

Amanda and Rowan sat on the floor outside the restroom door waiting for what felt like eternity for a mere three minutes to pass. The test stick was left in there so Amanda wouldn't be tempted to look at every second, or one hundred eighty times. She leaned her head back wearily against the wall and closed her eyes.

"_If you can't live with whatever the results are, then please, I beg you, don't kiss me."_

_Rick rested his forehead against her and moved his hands to her shoulders. "I don't know how to do this, Mandy."_

_She sighed softly. "I don't either."_

"_I'll stay with you, for the test, if you want," Rick offered, squeezing her shoulders._

_Amanda bit her lower lip and shook her head. She needed to be able to process the results without having to worry about his reaction as well. _

"_Okay," Rick said, pressing his lips to hers in a tender kiss. He straightened up, took off his watch and handed it to her. "You'll need this." His fingers lingered on hers a moment then she watched as he walked out the door. _

* * *

As Rick Grimes left the infirmary headed for Cell Block C to check on his daughter, he spared a quick glance at Merle Dixon who was leaning against the opposite wall by Rowan. The death glare Dixon was shooting his way was so commonplace that it barely registered with Rick. Thank God, the man didn't say anything. Rick's own head was spinning out of control with worry, want, and indecision. Amanda appeared so small and fragile but the steely look he'd seen in the Dixon brothers' eyes shone bright from hers when she said she didn't want him to stay. Maybe he should have anyway.

These past three months had been fraught with more emotional burdens than he could deal with and still be an effective leader for the group. Was it fair to let Mandy think that there was still a chance for them when he didn't know himself? There was no denying he still loved her…but was that enough?

Was he willing to "step down" from the position that was thrust upon him a lifetime ago if it meant he could be with her? Was he willing to put the safety of his children in someone else's hands? Daryl? The Dixon brothers were a team and Merle was just too much of a loose cannon. Herschel? He could only lead from the sidelines. They needed someone who could take a physical role in protecting the group. Glenn? He'd come a long way but he really wasn't leadership material. He couldn't see Merle or Daryl either one following the young Korean. Oscar had shown no desire to lead. He was content taking orders. _Shit. _

That left only him.

* * *

Merle had wanted to talk to Martinez about some last minute things before tomorrow but he couldn't get his mind off of his daughter so he told the man to get some sleep while he could before his turn on watch. He had watched Grimes leave the infirmary. Rowan's hand on his cheek drew his attention away that asshole. "I'm going back in with Amanda," she told him softly.

He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her sweetly. "Take care of my baby girl." She nodded and disappeared through the infirmary door. He wished Rowan could have waited with him but Ladybug needed her more. He wondered where the hell his brother was. Probably playing house with Cherry Blossom. He smiled to himself. The boy finally made his move and it seemed to be working out well. Now, hopefully he wouldn't screw it up. Dixons had a knack for doing that.

Merle rubbed his stomach; it was in knots waiting for the results. He would find out in minutes if he was going to be granddaddy. He'd never really thought about it before. Grandpa Merle. Granddaddy. Papaw. Papaw Dixon. Gramps. He snorted. He was turning into a goddamn pussy. His grandbaby could just call him Merle.

* * *

Daryl tried to sit up in the tent without waking Beth but it didn't work. That girl was a light sleeper. She rolled over and put her hand on his leg. "Where you going, sweetie?" she mumbled.

"Gotta get ready for tomorrow," he answered gruffly trying to ignore his body's reaction to her touch.

"I thought it was just a supply run."

He was in the processing of putting on his shirt. He had to work fast before she could change his mind. "It is, just wanna make sure we're set." He hated lying to her but Merle didn't want anyone to know what they were doing. Supposedly, this was just a scouting mission but if his brother got the chance to take the Governor, he wouldn't pass it up.

"Can't it wait a few more minutes?" she pleaded, walking her fingers further up his thigh.

_Naked Beth vs. Grumpy-ass Merle. Fuck yeah, it could wait._ He tossed his shirt behind him and lay back down, pulling her on top of him. She sat up, straddling his hips. Damp blonde tendrils stuck to the side of her face and neck. Beth combed her hair back with her fingers and tied it in a knot low on her neck.

He ran his hands along her bare thighs. "How many of those condoms we got left?

"Not near enough. I tried to get more but I got caught." _Oops. Maybe he didn't need to know that._

Daryl's hands stopped moving at her hips. "You wanna run that by me again, Angel?"

_Shoot. Of course not. _She smiled seductively and traced a finger around his navel and down the trail of hair that lead even lower. She could feel his muscles constrict beneath her touch and she thought she had him where she wanted but he grabbed her hand.

"Hold on, darlin'," he ordered, his voice a bit strained as if it was taking great effort just to speak. "We'll get back to that in a minute." Trying to think straight with her naked body on his was almost too much for him to overcome especially now that she was wriggling her hips knowing exactly what it was doing to him. He gripped them tightly and tried to put on a serious expression. "Beth, where the hell were you trying to get condoms?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her hands over her chest. "It was nothing, Daryl."

_Damn, she didn't have to go and cover them up. _"If it weren't nothin'," he asked, reaching up to pull her arms gently away, "then, why dontcha tell me?" No reason why he couldn't have a show while she was talking.

"Fine," she huffed. She was so cute when she was angry. He wasn't stupid enough to tell her that. He crossed his own arms behind head. This was gonna be good.

"I was getting Amanda's condoms from Rick's cell and I would've done it but Carl caught me."

His eyes widened. "You tried to steal from a cop?"

Her blue eyes flashed even in the dimly lit interior of the tent. "It wasn't stealing but that's not the point, Daryl! I didn't get them because Carl had them hidden in his pillow."

"Shit." Daryl's whole body shook with laughter.

"I don't see how that is funny," she retorted, grabbing his discarded shirt and putting it on. She sniffed it and wrinkled her nose but didn't remove the garment. "That kid is…is…a brat!"

"Ain't nothin' wrong with him."

"No?"

"No, darlin'. He's just a growing boy. Curious is all." He could remember being twelve. Boys will be boys was his motto.

"Well let me tell you something Daryl Dixon, he propositioned me!"

Daryl laughed harder. This little tale was getting better and better. "You must've misunderstood him, Angel."

"He wanted to make a deal with me for the condoms," she told him with righteous indignation.

"A deal?" His laughter was starting to die down. _What? Exchanging dish-washing for watch duty?_

She buttoned up his shirt and reached for her panties. "Yes, a deal. He said we could kiss or I could _show_ him something."

"Don't be in such a rush." He grabbed her hands before she could put them on. "Show him what?"

"A body part, I don't know. I cut him off before he could say anything else!"

_Aww, fuck. The boy just had a crush_. He couldn't blame Carl but he'd have to set him straight. "Want me to talk to him?" A few tremors of laughter still shook his body.

"No. I'm sure his dad already has," she replied, snatching her panties out of his loose grip, satisfied at the look of surprise on his face.

Daryl sat up. "You told Rick?" he asked, astonished at her brazenness.

"Not exactly," she grimaced. "He walked in when I was about to beat the crap out of Carl." She pulled on her shorts and reached for her shoes. Beth didn't know if she would have really tried to beat up Carl but she had never been so mad before.

"Holy shit." Daryl muttered, dumbfounded. He was beginning to realize that maybe he didn't know Beth as well as he thought…that maybe she wasn't the sweet and gentle creature he pictured her as. She was a spitfire like her sister.

"Rick said he would talk to Carl. I did ask him for the condoms, though," she admitted sheepishly. "He said they were Amanda's and he would give them to her."

"Fuckin' hell!" His laughter had completely fled by this point. He didn't know whether to be angry or proud of her. He really couldn't find a reason to be mad.

"Go ahead and do whatever you have to do for the run tomorrow." She bent down and kissed lightly on the mouth. "I'm going to start dinner. Don't be late."

* * *

Dixon had changed his mind about talking to him and dismissed him so Caesar lay in his bunk trying to get in a nap in before his turn on watch duty. It wasn't going to happen. He had too much on his mind for sleep. Seeing the anxious look on Amanda's face in the infirmary made him feel like he was abandoning her, but she only wanted Rowan with her and he would respect that decision. But fuck if Grimes did.

When Rowan walked out of the room and Grimes stayed, Martinez was pissed. He hadn't worried about the man much before but from everything Amanda had told him, the possibility of her being pregnant was the only thing that was keeping Grimes away and now the moment of truth was at hand. If the test was negative, was he going to want her back? Would she go back? Okay that was the real question. Would she go back to him?

Where would that leave him? Caesar was happy when he was with Amanda and he wanted stay here with her but staying here if she was with Rick wouldn't be easy. He was closer to this prison group than anyone in Woodbury. The only two people he couldn't consider friends were Grimes and Dixon's younger brother. Maybe Glenn and Maggie, but they were always off together and he didn't really know them well. Grimes didn't trust him mainly because Merle did. Daryl just didn't like him and he kept his reasons to himself. Martinez was fine with that.

Caesar adored Carol; she reminded him of his oldest sister with her kind and nurturing ways. Oscar was a good man. So was Herschel and he and the farmer had many late night talks. Greene's youngest girl was a sweetheart but he had no idea what she saw in Daryl Dixon. Oh well, to each his own.

If Amanda was pregnant…well, that was a whole other ballgame. Caesar would willingly raise the baby as his own if Amanda would allow it. He had no problem with that. A baby was a baby and needed love and protection no matter what kind of monster the father was.

He had been unable to save his own from the biters but he was better prepared now. Martinez had the experience, skills, strength, and confidence now and he wouldn't let another child under his protection be harmed by those filthy dead things.

When it came right down to it, the West Georgia Correctional Facility was his home and Woodbury was becoming a faded memory.

* * *

_What the fuck? Did Rick consider that a kiss?_ It was…sweet but it wasn't the wildly passionate I'll-love-you-forever kiss she was hoping for…the kind that she needed that would leave no doubt in her mind how he felt. It was safe. It was cautious. _Bastard._ Amanda squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She jumped when Rowan put her hand on her shoulder.

"I'm a good listener," the other woman offered.

"Are you going to tell Daddy everything I tell you?" She wouldn't be surprised if Rowan did but she wanted to at least know.

"Of course not, Amanda. Some things are just between us girls," Rowan assured her, patting the other woman's knee.

"What do I do?" She was hoping someone would tell her. Anyone, because she wasn't having any luck trying to figure it out on her own.

"Do you love Rick?" She already knew the answer to that without asking. She saw the way the two of them looked at each other when they thought the other wasn't watching. She wanted Amanda to admit it to herself.

Reluctantly, Merle's daughter nodded. As much heartache as he caused her, she couldn't help that she still did. It was hard to turn off those feelings. But…

"Then what's the problem?"

Amanda shrugged, picking at her short fingernails. "He can't handle my baggage." That was the truth of it as far as she could tell. He had too much of his own to deal with without the added burden of hers.

Rowan turned to look at her. "Can you wait until he can?"

_Do I really want to?_ "I don't know."

"What if Caesar wasn't an option?"

"I don't want to be alone. I can't sleep and my mind keeps going where I don't want it to go. When I'm with Caesar, I can almost forget about all the other shit."

"Do you love Caesar?"

_Not like I love Rick. I don't know if I'll ever love anyone like that again._ "I don't know."

"Are you sure about that?" Rowan asked with skepticism in her voice.

Amanda blew out a breath. "Rowan, I like Caesar and I'm happy with him." She turned it back on her friend. "Besides, you didn't love Daddy when ya'll got together."

"Maybe, but I didn't have a man who loved me in the picture either."

"What I am supposed to do?"

"If you love Rick, fight for him."

"Fight what? His dead wife? His demons?" _He can't even do it. How the hell do I do that? _

"Don't give up on him."

_He gave up on me._ "Rowan, I don't think I have the strength left in me."

Rowan didn't say anything to that. She looked at Rick's watch and squeezed Amanda's hand. "Time's up."

* * *

_**Thanks to all my reviewers, followers and guests. **_

_**This chapter and whatever happens in the next have been particularly difficult to sort out**** due to the emotional issues involved. Some of**** you have expressed strong opinions on what should happen next. I value my readers' input and that is why I'm asking for you to let me know what you think if you haven't already. ****Everyone will not be happy with the outcome and for that I'm sorry but the story can only follow one path.**_

_**This tale has taken on a life of its own and is much longer than my original intention so again, many thanks for sticking with me this far.**_

_**Happy reading!**_


	38. Chapter 38

**I'm sure I'm not the only one in mourning after last week's episode of TWD. What the hell were they thinking? ****It was very difficult to write again after that but not worry, dear readers, Merle Dixon will live on forever in fanfiction.**

* * *

Amanda stared at the test stick. "Oh God." Her hand shook so hard she almost dropped it.

"Amanda?" Rowan poked her head through the doorway. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

With a shaky hand, the pale woman showed her the stick. There was no question about; the "+" was clear. The result was positive.

Rowan held Amanda's hair back while she vomited in the toilet of the small restroom of the infirmary. She heaved until there nothing was left to come out then she fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor.

Rowan didn't say anything. She just sat down beside Amanda and held her trembling hand until the bereft woman could catch her breath.

Amanda closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall fighting the tears that threatened to fall. "How do I face them?"

"Same as you always have," answered Rowan, helping her to her feet. "The only difference is now you know."

Merle Dixon's head jerked up when the door to the infirmary opened. Rowan stepped out first and the grim look on her face told him everything he needed to know. _Fuck!_ He sighed and tried not to look unhappy when his baby girl emerged from behind the taller woman. Amanda was going to need him now more than ever. He wasn't going to let her down again.

Their matching blue eyes met briefly and then suddenly his daughter threw herself into his arms. "Oh God, Daddy. What am I going to do?" she cried.

"Hush, Ladybug. It's gonna be okay," he promised her even though he wasn't so sure himself. He'd make it okay…somehow. He'd find a way. She wept noisily against his broad chest while he patted her back, trying to impart some measure of comfort. "We're gonna take care of you," he promised, fighting the tears that threatened well up in his own eyes at her heartrending sobs_. And then I'm gonna wipe Woodbury and the fuckin' Governor of the face of the earth._

* * *

Rick was in his cell rocking Judith. Amanda stood back and watched him with his daughter. There may be question about who the baby's biological father was but there was no question that Rick Grimes was her daddy. The love that shone from his eyes as he cooed to the child cradled in his arms was evident. She looked up at him with adoring eyes. Judith's chubby little hand pulled at his chin and he nipped at it playfully causing her to giggle.

A fleeting smile touched Amanda's lips at the tender exchange between father and daughter. When Rick looked up and saw her, he beckoned her with a nod. She entered the cell reluctantly and sat on his bunk with her feet curled under her. This was going to actually be more awkward than she imagined. She never had to tell anyone that she was pregnant before and this was something he didn't want to hear almost as much as she didn't want to see that stupid little blue "+" sign.

He propped Judith on his shoulder and rubbed her back. Neither adult spoke fearing to wake the little girl before she was fully asleep. The silence between them wasn't comfortable as before. Too much had happened and been left unsaid and now Amanda was having second thoughts about coming here at all. She really wanted to leave before he could put the princess down because she wasn't as ready as she thought she was to face him with the news.

Rick watched the emotions play across Amanda's face. She looked tired. Her dark curls fell limply around her unusually pale face. Dark smudges circled her normally bright blue eyes. He had a feeling that she was getting ready to bolt and he didn't want her leave yet. This black cloud that had settled between them needed to be cleared away. When she stood, he stood with her, praying that his daughter didn't wake. He mouthed "wait" as he eased past her to take Judith to her crib.

It took Rick a minute to get the baby down but he didn't hear Amanda stirring in his cell so he hoped she was still there. She sat in the rocking chair, twirling his watch around her fingers, lost in thought. When he stopped in the doorway, she looked up at him with haunted eyes. He raised a questioning eyebrow, "Well? What's the verdict?"

A spark of anger flashed across her face. _What's the verdict? Fuck him._ "Guilty as charged, officer, or should I call you Your Honor since you're quick to judge?" She threw the watch at him. "I'm knocked up."

Rick caught it and stuck it hastily in his pocket. "I'm sorry, Mandy. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I'm not judging you."

"Doesn't matter," she mumbled tiredly and tried to shove past him. "Nothing matters anymore."

"That's not true. Mandy, don't go." He grabbed her arm. "We need to talk."

"I'm tired, Rick. So unless you have something new to say…"

"Damn it. Just listen to me." Their eyes met. Hers were red-rimmed from crying but still Dixon hard. "Please."

Amanda pulled her arm free and crossed them. "Fine. Talk."

"Why don't you sit down?" He nodded to the chair she just vacated.

Amanda glared at him and replied stubbornly, "Thanks, but I'll stand."

"Fine." He relented and ran his hands resignedly through his hair and leaned against the bunk. "Mandy, you need to take better care of yourself."

"Why do you care?" Her words sounded childish but it didn't matter to her. That was the first thing that came to her mind and in true Dixon fashion, she said it.

Rick closed his eyes trying to gather his patience like he did with Carl. "Because I care about you." It was the truth and it hurt to see her in pain but he couldn't fix it.

"You care?" Her voice was full of hurt and anger. "I thought you loved me. You said you did."

_Shit._ "I do love you, Mandy, but you were awfully quick to take up with Martinez." Rick's head wasn't in the right place at the time and he didn't realize how vulnerable she was but he was surprised and more than a little hurt that she had turned to the other man so easily.

"He was there for me when you weren't," she replied sorrowfully.

She was right. He didn't heed Daryl's warning and the other man stepped right in to his place. "I'm sorry about that, Mandy."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Rick. I needed you!" Amanda burst into tears. "I needed you and you weren't there. I know I can't count on you to be there for me now either because I'm fucking pregnant and I don't want to be but there's not a damn thing I can do about so I'm going to do what it takes to get through this." Although she promised herself that she wouldn't cry in front of him, the sobs came in waves.

Rick blocked her exit from the cell and pulled her down to the bunk with him. He wrapped his arms around her shaking form and gently rocked her. He wished he had the words to comfort her. He closed his eyes and breathed in the essence of her. Memories of happier times rushed in trying to convince him they might be able to work this out but he would have to convince himself as well as her for that to happen.

Her sobs subsided and she moved out of his arms just enough to see his face. He opened his eyes to see Amanda looking earnestly up at him. "But, the thing is, Rick," she started hesitantly when she could talk again with a steady voice. "Even if I wasn't pregnant now, I'm pretty sure I would want to have a baby one day." She sniffled, wiped her face on her shirt and continued with just a glimmer of hope, "These walkers can't be around forever. They'll have to die out. Have you noticed how skeletal they are compared to the first time you saw them?"

He did notice that but he also noticed that the numbers seemed to be increasing and he was betting there were more walkers than humans existing on the earth now. "You're thinking too far ahead, Mandy. Let's get you through this pregnancy first."

"I know, Rick, but I can't help the way I feel," she insisted, placing her small hand on his forearm.

God, how he missed her touch. He covered her hand with his larger one, not wanting her to take it away from his skin. "Give it some time, sweetheart. Wait and see how things play out before you decide."

She stiffened in his arms. "How things play out? You mean if I survive, don't you?"

He looked at her and nodded sadly. Why couldn't she face the truth? Amanda wasn't here when he lost Lori. She didn't realize how devastating the loss had been not only to him and Carl but to the whole group…and Judith would never know her mother.

Amanda stood up. Looking down at him she said, "You have Carl and Judith. You know what it is to be a parent, to have that unconditional love for another human. I want that too," she admitted.

"Honey, without adequate medical care there is always going to be the chance that you or any baby you may carry won't survive."

"What if we do?" she countered, stubbornly.

"Mandy. I love you. I truly do but I don't want to have another baby," he explained explicitly. "With the limited medical care, just getting sick or injured can be life-threatening to my children. The gut-wrenching fear is almost unbearable because I am helpless to do a damn thing. And what about the walkers? We are all in danger of being torn apart by these things. Judith is walking now. What happens if she wanders off?" He stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. He had to make her understand. "Honey, unconditional love comes with mind-numbing fear and a sense of helplessness when you have no control over the well-being of those you love."

Amanda gripped his forearms. "Then what do we have to live for, Rick? There has to be more than just survival. If not, there's nothing in our future. It's human nature to want a family and we can build a life around that since taking the career route is out of the question for now."

He dropped his arms to his sides letting her hands slip away. "I'll do whatever I can to help you, Amanda, but…"

"But?" she snorted. "But what, Rick?"

"Mandy, what the hell do you want from me?" he asked with exasperation.

"I want you to still love me like you did before! I want you to ask me to move in with you again."

Rick looked away from her and stared at the floor.

"That's what I thought." She rushed out of the cell, biting her lip to keep from crying again.

"Wait!" He ran after her and grabbed her around the waist pulling her against him. "Don't leave like this, honey."

"Let me go!" she cried. "There's nothing else to say."

"Take your fuckin' hands of my daughter right now." Merle's voice was low and menacing. He had heard Amanda's voice from the dining area. He had a feeling she was talking to that bastard Grimes. No one else seemed to upset her like that prick did.

Rick held his hands up but didn't step back. "Dixon, this is between me and Mandy." Amanda ran out of the cell block.

"She ain't wantin' to talk to ya now, Officer Rick, so back off," he growled.

Rowan gripped Merle's arm tightly hoping she could keep him from attacking the ex-cop. "C'mon Merle. She's gone," she said tugging at his powerful left forearm. "Please, sweetheart. Let it go."

He exhaled loudly and Rowan loosened her grip slightly when she felt the tension in his muscles relax.

"Alright," he muttered not taking his ice cold eyes off the other man "I told ya before, stay away from my daughter. I ain't gonna warn ya again."

* * *

Amanda wiped her eyes and took in a deep breath. To say that her talk with Rick didn't go as well as she would have liked would be an understatement of the greatest magnitude. She really thought, or hoped, he would say he was wrong and that it didn't matter to him that she was pregnant because love conquers all. Well that was obviously bullshit. Love doesn't conquer a damn thing. The cynical Dixon in her knew better but the little girl inside still wanted to believe in happy endings, even in the middle of an apocalypse. _Fuck him, fuck love, and fuck this fucking apocalypse!_

She peeked in Caesar's cell. He was lying on his side, sleeping with his back to the door. He must be getting a nap in before his watch later. She really wanted to talk to him. Disappointed, Amanda started to leave.

"Hey, baby," he said sleepily, rolling on his back and propping up on his elbows. "Where you going?"

"I didn't mean to wake you," she apologized, though she was glad he was up.

"I need to get up soon, anyway." He stretched and yawned and then patted the mattress beside him. "Lay down with me for a minute."

She went to him, sliding easily into his arms. She settled her head comfortably on his shoulder. "You never said you had a wife and kids." She didn't know anything about his previous life. He never talked about it and she never asked. Now, she felt guilty about it.

Caesar had locked the memories away just to keep going. As bad as the loss of his sisters was, that of his wife and kids was more than he could handle. He thought that he had secured their memory away until he'd seen the pregnancy test and then it all flooded back in. He and his wife had impatiently waited together when she took one. They both were elated with the positive results. He let out a shuddering breath. "Hurts too much. What those things did to them."

"I'm so sorry, Caesar." Amanda snuggled closer and hugged him tightly. "I've been selfish."

"Shhh." He stroked the delicate skin on back of her neck with his rough fingers. Her dark curls tickled the back of his hand. "You didn't know. Nothing to be done about it now except to keep killing those things until there's none left."

Amanda worked her hand in between the buttons of his shirt to flatten her palm against the slow and steady beat of his heart. "I'm pregnant," she said just loud enough for him to hear.

Martinez had hoped that the test was negative for her sake and that she wasn't carrying that monster's baby. Only he knew the true extent of the biological father's madness and he would do everything in his power not to let Amanda find out. Curving his hand around the back of her neck, he gently caressed the sensitive flesh. He wanted to tell her he was sorry because he really was but it was less likely that she'd go back to Grimes now, knowing that she was pregnant. "Did you tell Rick?"

Amanda nodded, buried her face in his shoulder and started crying.

_She still loved the fuckin' bastard._ "I'm sorry, babe." Caesar pulled her tight against him running his hand down her back, fingers lightly rolling over the prominent ridges of her spine. She was much too thin. She needed to eat more, especially now. He needed to find some prenatal vitamins for both her and Rowan.

"I'm scared, Caesar," she admitted, tearfully. "I mean I was pretty sure I was but I still held out hope that I wasn't."

He cupped her cheek rubbing the smooth, damp skin with his thumb. "I know you are, babe, but I told you before, you're not alone. You have your dad and your uncle." He paused a moment and added, "And you have me."

"Sure you want to take on my problems?" she asked, doubt lacing her trembling voice. "There's still time to crawfish."

"Crawfish? What the hell does that mean?" Caesar raised his head up to look at her.

"It means back out because crawfish walk backwards...oh shut up." She slapped his chest when she felt him shake with laughter.

"I don't wanna crawfish." He tilted her chin up to place a small kiss on the tip of her nose. "Crawfish? Sounds kinda stupid."

"Hey, are you making fun of me?" Amanda asked with mock anger.

He chuckled. "No baby, I forget you weren't raised in Georgia." His tone became serious. "You know the baby doesn't have to be a problem, Amanda."

"What does this mean for us?"

"I meant what I said before; it doesn't change anything for me. I still want you. I guess maybe my fear that you'll go back to Grimes has lessened some."

She laid her head on his chest and asked, "Why would I go to him?" _He rejected me. Again._ But…if he did ask, would she go? Her Dixon pride said no way in hell but her heart had no pride at all.

"Because you love him and he loves you," Caesar stated matter-of-factly, bringing his broad hands around to rest comfortably on her back.

"It doesn't matter." Howmany times would she have to tell herself that…until she was convinced? "He can't handle my shit."

Martinez kissed on the top of her head and chuckled softly. "You think I can handle your shit?"

"At least, you're willing to try," Amanda answered, working her hand back into his shirt.

His chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh, "Yeah, I am, baby, but your shit doesn't scare me half as much as the fact that I think you're gonna break my heart."

Amanda slanted her head back to look at him. "I never want you to feel that way, baby." She removed her hand from his shirt to bring his head to her and kissed his lips tenderly. She slid over his body and sat back on his thighs, locking her gaze on his, unsure of how he would respond to her next statement. "Rick doesn't want me, Caesar. It's as simple as that."

He didn't look away but rested his hands on her hips, thumbs drawing lazy circles on the bare skin just above her waistband and under her shirt. "I can't help but think he'll change his mind." _Maybe not now but one day he'll realize what a fool he was for letting her go. The man would be an idiot if he didn't._

"I told Rick that if I wasn't pregnant, I'd still want to have a baby one day. That didn't sit well with him." She watched him carefully but his expression remained neutral.

_Selfish bastard. Besides, when a woman decides she wants to have a baby there's usually no way to change her mind._ "Okay."

That was a noncommittal reply. She wanted more of an answer than that. She wanted to know exactly how Caesar felt about it. "That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say, babe?"

"I thought you would say it wasn't a good idea, because of your own kids…" It would only be natural for him to feel that way after their loss.

A faraway look clouded his eyes and he was silent for a moment while he gathered his thoughts. "There is nothing more devastating than losing a child. You can't imagine the depth of the pain that never goes completely away," Caesar's voiced cracked. "You learn how to live with it." _Or you don't survive._ He swallowed hard and continued with a steadier voice, "But I don't think I want to go through the rest of my life without having another family." They could be a family. Amanda, him, and her baby…their baby. He needed to think of the baby as his.

"Would you want to have a baby…with me…if I make it through this pregnancy?" Amanda wondered out loud.

"I would, but I'm going to leave that decision up to you." Caesar smiled softly at her. "I'll be a daddy to this baby, if you want me to."

Amanda knew she couldn't do it alone. She wasn't strong enough especially in the darkness of the night when everything was quiet and nightmares still threatened to haunt her if she closed her eyes. Caesar's slow and steady heartbeat coupled with his even breathing lulled her to sleep while his easy and calm demeanor helped keep her ghosts at bay.

She was grateful for his friendship and his support. Tears welled in her eyes and she smiled back at him, nodding. In a small voice, she said, "I'd like that very much."

Martinez pulled her down to his hard, muscled chest and covered her mouth with his hungrily. That's what he'd been waiting for. For her to choose him and he would do everything he could to make her forget about the baby's father and wonder why she ever fell in love with Grimes in the first place.

* * *

Merle Dixon entered Cell Block B bellowing, "Daryl? Ya in here?" He banged the barred door open loudly.

"Damn it, Daddy! People are trying to sleep here." His daughter rubbed her eyes as she padded barefoot out of Martinez's cell. "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's dinnertime, Ladybug." He eyed her sharply but didn't say anything else.

"I'll get something later," she replied and headed back toward the cell.

Merle was gonna start on his fatherly duties right now. "Ya need to eat now. Ya look like shit."

"It's been a rough day, Daddy," she said watching the emotions flicker quickly across her father's face as his gaze went from Caesar's cell to her face. Amanda rolled her eyes. "We were napping and if we were doing something else, it'd be none of your business."

He bit his tongue and ignored her remarks with more than a little difficulty. "Ya seen Daryl?" he grunted.

"No, I'm not your brother's keeper."

Merle heard a snort from the cell. "Shut up, Martinez."

Caesar came out of his cell smiling at his grumpy friend, tucking his gun in the back of his pants. He kissed Amanda on the cheek and told her he'd see her later. He turned to Dixon. "Time for watch. If you need me you know where to find me." He put his hat on and left.

Merle turned to his daughter, expression softening for her. "How ya doing, Ladybug?"

"As well as can be expected, I guess" she answered, pushing her tousled curls behind her ears.

He nodded. He didn't know why he asked. He didn't know what to say to her. Even more than before, he hoped to get a shot at the Governor on this trip. He wanted to watch the man die for what he had Crowley do to his daughter.

"Ya movin' in with Martinez?" he asked, wincing as soon as he heard the words leave his mouth. _Aww shit, now she's got her back up._

"Is that gonna be a problem, Daddy?" Amanda asked, eyes already flashing, ready for a fight.

Well, she wasn't getting one from him. Not this time. No man would ever be good enough for his daughter but Martinez was a hell of a lot better choice than Grimes. "Just askin', Baby Girl, that's all."

"Probably," she answered, sounding almost disappointed that her daddy didn't oppose her decision.

"Grab your shoes, Ladybug, and I'll walk with ya to dinner."

* * *

Daryl doubled and tripled checked the truck he and Merle were taking tomorrow. Gas tank was full, guns and ammo, in the back, everything was ready. When he looked up from the bed, he saw Beth heading his way. He couldn't help but smile a little. Her ponytail bounced as she walked and there was a slight sway to her hips that was much better viewed when she was walking away.

"Hey darlin'," he greeted her when she reached him. Beth grabbed his head and pulled him down into a smoldering kiss. _Damn!_ He was almost too startled to worry if anyone else was around. It wasn't a secret anymore but old habits die hard and he still wasn't comfortable making out in public. However, with the number she just pulled on him, he briefly thought about tossing her into the bed of the truck for a little more than kissing. Too bad it was packed with supplies for the road.

When Beth finally released him, he was breathless. "What's that all about, sugar? Not that I'm complaining or anything."

Beth placed her palms flat on his chest and looked in his eyes. Her big blue eyes were wide and damned if they weren't filling up with tears. "Please be careful tomorrow. Come back to me."

_Shit._ He hoped she didn't start crying. He wasn't leaving until the morning anyway. "Plannin' on it, Angel."

"Don't do anything stupid." _Like fall down a ravine and get stabbed by your own arrow._

He raised his brows. _Why would she say that?_ "Usually don't."

"Daryl," she pursed her pink lips. "It's just that I worry about you when you're gone."

She was so pretty, he thought only half-listening to her words because he was concentrating on her sexy mouth. He didn't want her to worry or cry though. Daryl pulled her roughly against his chest kissed her as passionately as she had kissed him. She was flushed and a little unsteady on her feet when he tore himself away from her sweet lips. "Please, wait for me, Beth, darlin'."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, confused. She had made it clear that he was the only one for her.

"Don't take up with Carl while I'm gone." He almost didn't get the words out before he started laughing.

"Ohh…you…" Flustered, she shoved him away and Daryl fell back against the truck, chuckling. There were all kinds of choice names Beth learned from Merle and even Daryl himself that ran through her mind right now but she still couldn't bring herself to say any of them. She slapped at him clumsily but the agile man rolled easily away and grabbed her as she stumbled past him.

"Don't be mad, Beth, I was just teasin'." He sat her on the tailgate and stood between her legs placing his hands on her shoulders. This time his kiss was tender and sweet and she finally responded in kind.

The blonde girl slid her hands up his chest and around his neck. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you, Daryl Dixon," she said softly against his lips.

Daryl assured her, "I'm good at what I do. Ain't nothin' gonna happen to me." The concern in her pretty blue eyes was evident and it touched him more than he was willing to admit even to himself. He wasn't used to have anybody besides his brother give a damn about his well-being.

She nodded and put on a brave face. "Come on in. Dinner's ready. Rowan made your favorite stew. Better hurry before Oscar eats it all."

* * *

Amanda shoved the half-empty bowl away from her. If she ate another bite she would vomit. News spread fast at the prison and if anyone else tried to force her to eat more she would throw that bowl at them.

Rick was conspicuously absent from dinner and Beth sat in his place trying to help Judith get the food in her mouth but the little girl was determined to get it anywhere but her there. She wanted to play in the lovely stew so painstakingly prepared by Rowan.

Merle cleared his throat and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "I wanna go over this list and make sure we ain't forgettin' anythin'."

Amanda watched as he held the list at the end of his extended arm and squinted as he tried to focus. "Rowan, hand my old man a pen so he can add reading glasses. Write it big. Really big. " A few hushed snickers swept down the table.

"Shut up Ladybug," he growled. "Don't need no damned glasses."

Rowan snagged the list from his hand. "We need to get this done before morning, old man," she teased.

"I'll show you old, girlie," he warned and must have grabbed her because she squealed and bumped the underside of the table almost knocking the cups over.

"Merle!" she admonished, trying to hold back a grin. She looked him up and down and said, "I bet you'd look sexy in glasses."

He shrugged. "If that's what turns ya on, baby doll, I'll be more than happy to wear some to bed. Ya can pretend to be the naughty librarian and I'll be…"

"Stop!" Amanda demanded before her daddy went any further. "You're gonna make me throw up."

"Me too," Daryl piped in, with a mouth full of food.

Rowan started reading the list before her lover decided to say anything else embarrassing. "One potty chair for Princess Judith."

The little girl squealed at the sound of her name. "Fuck!"

"Judith! You have to stop saying that." Beth scolded her a little too gently for the baby girl to take much notice.

Rowan scanned over the basics. "Any baby items, formula, diapers, bottles, clothing. Prenatal vitamins. Acne cream?" She looked at Carl who turned red but nodded. Rowan glanced at the last item then folded the paper. "That's about it."

"No, it ain't. I saw one more thing, darlin'. Gimme that." Merle grabbed the list and held it out of her reach and read, "Condoms. Hmpf. Doesn't say who for?"

"I'm sure it doesn't matter," Rowan replied quickly, trying to keep Merle from noticing what she did.

"Course it does, girl. Chinaman gonna need a different size than Oscar. Could be my brother. Looks like his chicken scratch. Did you add this to the list, Darylina?" Merle rubbed his stubble thoughtfully.

_If he needed condoms, he sure as hell wouldn't write it on no damn list._ "Shut the fuck up, Bro. I don't need no list to help _me_ remember what to get, _old man_," Daryl answered, shoveling another spoonful of the delicious stew in his mouth. He had to give it to the girl, Rowan could cook some mighty fine food. They usually didn't get much to eat on the road and he wasn't about to leave hungry.

Merle studied the paper carefully. "Looks like the same handwriting as the acne…Damn!" He noticed the boy who was trying to slip away undetected. _What the hell did he want condoms for?_ Dixon folded the list and stuck it back in his pocket, smirking. Looked like Officer Rick was gonna have a little more shit piled onto his plate.

Beth didn't miss Merle's slip of the tongue. She turned to give Daryl her I-told-you-so look but he was lost in his third bowl of stew. He didn't even catch what his brother said. _Carl wanted condoms!? Someone was going to have to talk to that boy._

* * *

Merle lay on the bunk watching Rowan get ready for bed. It amused him that she was still modest. Maybe it had something to do with the limited privacy of the prison. She unfastened her bra and pulled it off through the armhole of her camisole. She stepped out of her cargo pants and into some cute little sleep shorts that hugged her fine ass. The faint swell of her belly was barely visible. But any change was noticed by him for he knew her body so well.

Rowan pulled a brush through her long black hair then swung it over her shoulder. She smiled when she caught him watching her. Not that he tried to hide it. Merle placed his damaged arm across her hand when she leaned down to blow out the candle that sat on the small table by the bed. "Don't. I wanna see ya," he said, voice thick with passion.

She sat on the edge of the bunk and he rolled on his side placing his arm on her belly. It was hard to imagine a little Merle growing in there. It was gonna be a boy. He just knew it. Merle Dixon, Jr.

Rowan stroked his stubbled cheek and asked softly, "Why are you smiling?"

He looked up at her beautiful face, so kind and gentle, at least when she wasn't giving him shit about something. She took his breath away. Goddamn it. He fuckin' loved her. It took the end of the world for him to realize there was such a thing as real love for a woman. He turned his head to kiss her palm. He wanted to tell her but he couldn't get the words past the lump in his throat.

"Merle…" Her brow furrowed as she watched as his steely blue eyes become guarded. Rowan knew he struggled with revealing his true feelings because he had been hiding those most of his life. She wanted him to know it was ok. No one here would use them against him or see him as weak.

Merle never talked about his childhood which she could only assume was horrific because of the extensive network of scars that crossed his back. He never spoke of them either. She had asked, once, when they first arrived at the prison. His angry, defensive reaction scared her so bad that she never asked again. She wasn't afraid of him now but she would wait for him tell her in his own time, if he wished.

Without a doubt, Rowan loved this rough-around-the-edges redneck that she would have never looked at before the world fell apart around her. Merle never said it back to her but she knew he loved her too, just in his own way.

Merle reached for the raven-haired mother of his baby and pulled her down to the bunk beside him. He leaned over kissed her tenderly. He wanted to forget about everything. He wanted to blow off the fuckin' run tomorrow and spend the day in bed with her but the only way to keep his family safe was to eliminate the threat of the Governor.

"Take off your clothes for me, Baby Doll," he ordered, gruffly, nipping at the corner of her jaw before leaning back to watch.

Rowan pulled the white cami over her head and let it fall to the floor beside the bed. Candlelight flickered across her perfect full breasts. She was so fuckin' beautiful and she wanted him. She loved him. She was his.

"More," he said, tugging lightly on the waistband of her flowered shorts.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and slid them, together with her panties, down her legs and dropped them on the floor with the cami. Rowan stretched her legs out, never taking her eyes off of Merle's face. He was looking at her body like he was seeing it for the first time even though it had to be the hundredth.

"Are you going to show me what an old man can do?" She challenged with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Hell, yeah, girl," Merle answered with a wide grin and moved on top of her. "Ya better hold on."

Rowan wrapped her arms around his head and arched her body into him. Her long legs automatically went around his hips and she pulled him close. He twisted his hand in her long hair and eased her head back to plunder the sensitive hollow of her throat and proceeded to show her how much he loved her the only way he knew how.

* * *

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	39. Chapter 39

Amanda lay in Caesar's bunk and attempted to fall asleep while he was on watch. She tried to comfort herself with the scent of him that lingered on the sheets but it wasn't enough. She needed his presence, his warmth, to keep the ugly things away. The others inhabitants of Cell Block B, her daddy, Rowan, Daryl, and Beth, had already settled in for the night. The only sound she heard was that of her own breathing.

The small oil lamp cast long flickering shadows on the concrete walls that surrounded her on three sides. Amanda had never been afraid of the dark, not until Crowley put that bag over her head in Woodbury. He tied it around her neck and she thought she would suffocate. Now, the pitch black beckoned her nightmares and taunted her every night when she closed her eyes. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep here alone. She sat up and turned on the small pink flashlight Caesar gave her and extinguished the oil lamp. She made her way to her own cell where she put on her shoes and a long sleeve shirt. Grabbing her pillow and blanket, Amanda headed to the guard tower.

* * *

Rick Grimes lay on his bunk with his arms crossed behind his head second guessing just about every decision he'd made since the group had left the farm. He was certain that he made the right decision in letting Amanda go until he found himself once again, awake and alone. She could have been here with him now, she practically begged him, and all he had to do was say the word. And he didn't. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and tried to convince himself he made the right decision not only for himself but for the group. With fewer distractions he could be a better leader.

The sound of soft footsteps alerted Rick to someone roaming the corridor just outside his cell block. In the middle of the night there was usually only one person up. Amanda. She was heading to the locked prison door that led to the outside.

"Shit," she cursed, realizing she had no way out. She kicked the locked metal door. "Ouch! Shit!"

He sighed and sat up. "Can't sleep?"

"Damn it Rick!" She sank against the door, hugging her pillow and blanket. "You scared the shit outta me!"

"Sorry, hon- Mandy." _Not honey. Not anymore._

"Can you please let me out?" she asked reluctantly.

"Yeah, let me get my shoes on," he said, slipping his feet into his shoes.

Amanda replied impatiently, "I just need you to open the door, Rick."

"You're not going out in there in dark by yourself," he said wearily, rising from his bunk and picking up the ring of keys from the bedside table.

"I have a flashlight," she said deliberately shining it in his eyes. She sighed and leaned against the wall when he didn't react. "I didn't think it would be this much trouble."

"It's no trouble, Mandy." He brushed past her and unlocked the door, but before she could step out, he shut it again.

"What the hell, Rick?" Confused, she turned around to look up at him.

"I wasn't done talking earlier, when your dad interrupted."

"I'm done. Now get out of my way please. I'm tired and I'm through talking." Amanda turned away from him resting her head on the cool metal door. She felt him move in behind her, his lips just inches away from her ear.

"Good. Then you can listen." His tone brooked no argument.

The heat emanating from his body that was too close to hers invaded her senses and her resolve began to waver. All she had to do was turn around…

"Don't you ever think I don't want you because of what happened in Woodbury. Or because you carry that bastard's baby," he said adamantly, his warm breath caressed her ear sending a shiver down her spine.

Amanda grabbed the doorknob but his large hand covered hers, stilling it. He was too fucking close. She squeezed her eyes shut. "Please…"

"I'm not done," he said gruffly. "I'm letting you go not because I want to but because I _have_ to."

She fought down the sob that caught in her throat. _Oh God, Please make him stop. _

"My mind gets so twisted around you that I can't think straight. I can't keep my kids safe, the group, or you, Mandy," Rick confessed, his voice was thick with emotion.

She lost the fight and the sobs escaped. "Please stop."

"I _have_ to step back," he told her.

She frantically tried to turn the knob but his hand closed tighter over hers. "I'm not through."

She didn't want to hear anymore. She couldn't. She would fall apart…break into a million tiny pieces that could never be put together again.

His voiced deepened and threatened to crack but he swallowed hard. "Don't you ever for one moment think that I don't love you." Rick eased up the pressure on her hand and she jerked the door open and stumbled out.

Amanda started to run for the tower but she couldn't show up crying. _Fuck! Why couldn't he have kept his fucking mouth shut? _ Nothing he said made things easier. In fact, his words only complicated matters. _Fuck him._ He was watching her now. With those fucking beautiful blue eyes and she wanted to hate him but she couldn't.

_Dixons don't cry. Dixons don't cry. Dixons don't cry. Fuck! It wasn't working. This Dixon had been crying for three fucking months. Enough! _She steeled herself and gulped in a few shaky breaths. "Don't supposed you have a tissue?"

"I can get you something from inside," he offered.

"Don't bother," she said, sniffling loudly and wiping her face with her hands.

"Everything okay down there?" Caesar called from the guard tower.

Rick looked at Mandy and she nodded. "Fine, Martinez. Amanda's on her way." He had to stop himself when he almost put his hand on the small of her back. It was so hard not to touch her. He stuck his hands in his pockets. They walked in silence until they reached the tower. She headed up the steps without a word or backward glance.

Caesar took her hand when she reached the top and planted a friendly kiss on her lips. "This is a nice surprise, babe. What's wrong?" Her bloodshot eyes and blotchy face didn't escape notice. _Fucking Grimes!_ He wanted to hurt the fucker. Beat the shit out him. Tell him to leave her the fuck alone. He didn't know how long he could keep swallowing his pride but beating the shit out of Grimes would most likely get him kicked out of the prison and this was the best place for him to keep her safe. _Fuck!_

"Couldn't sleep," Amanda said, hugging him around the waist. He was so warm and safe. Uncomplicated. Caesar held her tight in his strong arms and kissed the top of her head. She inhaled the clean outdoorsy scent of him and began to relax just a little. Rising on her toes, she kissed him. He ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth and she let him in, meeting his tongue hungrily with hers. Just to survive, she had to make herself forget about Rick. She worked her hands under his shirt and over the hard muscles of Caesar's back.

He groaned and tore himself away from her lips, wishing his watch duty was over so he could take her back to his cell and continue this. "I have a few more hours before Glenn and Maggie will relieve me." He gestured to the chaise. "Make yourself comfortable, baby. I'll wake you, when they get here."

* * *

The Dixon brothers were each lost in their own thoughts as Daryl drove along a deserted back road in the direction of Woodbury. The sky was overcast and dreary, a perfect setting for the dark mood they were both in. Merle tried to concentrate on the task at hand but couldn't get his daughter's desolate form out of his mind. She was too thin and too fragile to be carrying a child.

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! _He slammed his fist against the dash which earned him a sharp look from his younger brother. He hated feeling helpless. The only thing he could do for his baby girl was to make sure she ate and that she was safe. He was so afraid that he would lose her. It would fucking kill him.

Merle didn't have the same fears for Rowan, at least not to the extent he had for his Lady Bug. Sure, Rowan was thin, hell they all were, but for the most part she seemed healthy and happy and had been plagued with minimal morning sickness. Damn, he was going to have a baby and a grandbaby at the same fucking time, God willing. He shook his head at that thought. Never in his sorry life had he thought he would have a real family, at least not one that consisted of more than his baby brother. Unfortunately, Merle didn't invest much effort in caring for Amanda when she was younger and he regretted it dearly. He vowed to make it up to her now by being the daddy she deserved. He would do everything in his power to make sure both women stayed healthy and alive and the first step on that path was to take the fucking Governor out.

Daryl didn't realize how hard it would be to leave a teary-eyed Beth behind. Shit, he got fuckin' soft and didn't know it until he saw her sad face. He ain't never had trouble leaving for a run or hunting trip before. Still, he smiled to himself, she was worth it. His angel had worked her way into a heart that he wasn't sure he had anymore. She was pretty and sweet and she really cared about him, like no one else had before. He had more to live for than just plain survival. His entire living family was together at the same place at the same time. Not just his brother and niece, but Beth and the whole group. He considered them all a part of his family, well, maybe not Martinez. He didn't consider him anything.

Leaving Possum behind was almost harder than leaving Beth. Lord, when she kissed him on the cheek and told him to be safe...he could count her fuckin' ribs when he hugged her. He and Merle were gonna have to scare up some game. They needed to build a smokehouse to preserve some meat for the winter. They were also gonna need some heat, as well. There was so much fucking shit to do that he didn't see why they had to go after this Governor except Merle assured him that if they didn't, the man would eventually find the prison and kill them all, even the children. What kind of sick bastard would do that? The same kind that would have his niece tortured just to find their location...

Daryl just found out his morning that Possum more or less moved in with Martinez. Fuckin' hell, he couldn't believe it. Not that Grimes was any better right now. Rick needed to get his act together and fast, not only for the group, but for his kids as well. But at least Daryl trusted Rick. Martinez was a hard worker, good shot, and didn't flinch at doing the dirty work but something still nagged the younger Dixon about the man. He wasn't entirely sure Merle trusted him either even though he said he did. He caught his brother watching Martinez on more than one occasion, like he was trying to figure something out but when Daryl brought it up, Merle just shrugged him off.

Merle was quiet this morning, too quiet, and that usually meant he was in a black mood. He knew he was worried about Possum and Rowan although he didn't say anything. He hoped his older brother would get his head in the game by the time they reached Woodbury. They couldn't afford to make any mistakes.

Daryl drove the old truck off the road and out of sight. According to Merle, they couldn't be too cautious when it came to avoiding the Governor. The two brothers walked the rest of the way to the walled-off town, about five miles by the older Dixon's estimation. They kept to the shadows. The wall appeared to be mostly manned by women and teenagers.

"Governor's out," Merle whispered to Daryl. Did he want to sneak in and lie in wait for the bastard? Yeah, he did, but that wasn't a wise move. No telling how long the man would be out. He rarely told anyone his plans, except Milton. Could he "force" the information out of Milton? Sure, in about two seconds but only if the little man knew something. Maybe Blondie…Hell, that bitch was tougher than Milton. She wouldn't say anything if she thought it would endanger Woodbury. He wondered if she'd been privy to the Gov's true colors yet. If she had, she'd probably already high-tailed it out of there, if she was still alive.

He signaled for Daryl to head back. They kept their eyes and ears open and mouths closed. If the Governor wasn't at Woodbury, he was out here somewhere. Near or far, there was no way of telling but an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his gut.

When they were back in the truck, Daryl asked. "Now what, Merle?"

"Ain't sure. Don't like it though." The older Dixon, replied. He couldn't put his finger on it but something wasn't right.

Daryl chewed on his thumb. "We get supplies or head back?"

They really needed the supplies. Besides, no one but Martinez new this was anything other than a routine supply run. "See any tracks while we were out there, Baby Bro?"

"Nothing fresh," he answered looking out the window.

Merle closed his eyes. "Fuck, whaddya think?" He had really wanted to get a shot at that psychopath. Finish him off once and for all.

"There's a wooded area up ahead a few miles…might find some game. This whole area's 'bout hunted out." Daryl said, turning the key in the ignition.

"Alright then. Let's go."

* * *

"How'd ya sleep?" asked Caesar, as he walked with his arm Amanda's shoulders to his cell.

"Not bad. Not enough but not bad," she answered, leaning into him.

"Why don't you lay down with me? It's still early. You can get another hour or so."

The sun was just starting to rise and that didn't sound like a bad idea. Laundry could wait. Didn't look like they'd be able to hang it outside anyway, dark clouds were moving in.

"I think I just might do that," Amanda said, smiling up him. He bent his head to kiss her. She thought he looked tired. She was pretty sure he'd been up close to twenty-four hours.

She stroked his bearded cheek then sat down on his bunk, slipped her feet out of her sandals and under the light blanket. Propping up on her arm, she watched as he undressed. Just enough pale morning light filtered through the dirty barred windows of Cell Block B for her to see him. Caesar placed his weapons on the bedside table with a soft clink. He pulled off his shirt with a slight groan and placed it on the top bunk before sitting on the edge of the bunk to remove his boots.

He glanced at Amanda and smiled tiredly. "Thanks for staying with me."

"I wanted to," she said, laying her head down on the pillow.

Caesar stood up, stepped out of his jeans and folded them, putting them away on the top bunk with his shirt. She lifted the blanket for him to climb in beside her. He turned her away from him and curled his body protectively around hers, pulling her back against his chest and her hips against his boxer-clad ones. Amanda suddenly realized that not once during their intimate moments had he ever removed his pants.

Nervousness overtook her as Caesar pressed his hard muscled thighs along the back of her slender ones; the coarse hair was rough against her soft skin. Panic built up inside, starting at her stomach. _Oh my God_, she thought, _I'm not ready for this. Not yet. _He put an arm under his head and one over her, hand splayed firmly across her stomach above her waistband, one finger dipping underneath the fabric. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest. _Oh_ _God_. The cool metal chain with a cross that he wore hidden in his shirt pressed into her back below her shoulder blade. He nudged her hair aside with his nose and tenderly kissed the back of her neck. "Goodnight, Amanda." A gentle wisp of his breath tickled the skin his lips just touched. He was already asleep.

She had really thought she was ready until she felt the length of his hard, almost naked body flush against hers. Amanda sighed with relief, thankful that he was too tired to do anything other than sleep. She closed her eyes, placing her hand over his larger one, relaxing into the safety of his embrace.

* * *

Merle and Daryl had been gone for two days and Amanda was trying hard not to worry. They were big boys who were very adept at taking care of themselves. Her daddy told her that they planned on hunting, in addition to the supply run. Still, she couldn't help worry about them. Besides, she missed her grumpy family. At least she had Caesar, although she hadn't been able to see much of him because they were all taking up the slack of the missing members. She was trying to eat better and actually had a little more energy so she gave Beth a break and helped out more with Judith. This morning, she had dressed the energetic little girl and they headed to breakfast.

Rick was already there and took his daughter from Amanda with a thank you. He had been cool yet friendly since their last encounter…since he told her that he still loved her. His words played over and over in her mind though she tried to make them stop. It would have been so much easier to hate him if he would have kept that bit of information to himself.

He had walked the fence line early so he could take an extra watch after breakfast and relieve Glenn and Maggie from their double shift. No one complained. They all looked forward to fresh game. Hopefully, the Dixon brothers would come through with some.

Amanda sat down by Rowan at the breakfast table and watched the other woman eat the disgusting instant oatmeal again. She didn't care much for oatmeal on a good day. Carol told her with a smile that she had a surprise for her, that it wouldn't take but a couple of minutes. Amanda certainly didn't mind waiting if it meant she wouldn't have to eat oatmeal. No one else seemed to mind the bland breakfast. Even Judith ate it without a fuss. Rick patiently fed his girl another spoonful while Amanda tried not to stare at them. _He still loves me._

"Don't turn around," Oscar interrupted he thoughts, smiling from his seat across the table. Hershel was smiling too. _What the hell was going on?_ It wasn't her birthday, at least according to Rowan's calendar, it wasn't.

She heard Carol's soft footsteps come up behind her. The short-haired woman sat a plate in front of Amanda. "Eat up, sweetie."

Amanda just stared at the dish before her, stunned. She couldn't believe her eyes.

"Girl, if you don't eat that in the next few seconds, it ain't gonna be there," Oscar teased.

"An egg?" She looked back at Carol who was grinning from ear to ear.

Hershel laughed. "Did you forget what one looked like, Amanda? That old hen your daddy brought back last month finally decided to lay. Rick found the egg this morning. We took a vote and decided unanimously you needed it the most."

Tears pricked at her eyelids when she closed them. She was too emotional to speak. She felt like she was the least deserving of them all. She hadn't been pulling her own weight since her return from Woodbury. It was a pity egg! She burst into tears. She needed her daddy here to tell her that she was a Dixon and Dixons don't cry even though that was all she'd been doing these past three months. _Dixon don't take pity eggs, either, do they? _

Carol wrapped her arms around Amanda's shoulders. "Sweetie, we love you and we want you to get better. One egg wouldn't even make an appetizer for Oscar."

"It's true. I used to eat no less than six for breakfast," he boasted rubbing his washboard stomach.

"Don't make me force feed you, because I will." Rowan patted her hand. "Your daddy told me to make sure you ate, and I'll do it."

"Yes, _Mom_," she snorted through her tears.

Rowan smacked her hand with a laugh and a warning. "Don't you dare call me Mom!"

Amanda sniffled. "Thank you." All eyes were turned on her as her fork was poised over the delicacy. "Ya'll gonna watch me eat this?"

"Hell yeah, Amanda," Oscar answered. "We're all gonna live vicariously through you right now."

She unintentionally glanced at Rick, who nodded with a small smile. Even Judith was watching her.

"Here goes…" She cut of a bite-sized piece of the perfectly fried egg, delicately put it in her mouth and chewed. "Oh my God," Amanda said, almost hear her momma's voice nagging her for talking with her mouth full. She closed her eyes and savored it as long as she could. She took another bite and another until it was all gone. Applause and cheers sounded around the table and she bowed her head. "Thank you and I love you all."

Carol squeezed her shoulder. "Now, go out and get some fresh air and I'll send a snack out to you shortly."

* * *

A brisk breeze lifted the hair from the young blonde's face. The clouds kept the autumn heat contained and the temperature was actually bearable. She hummed to herself as she pulled a sheet off the line. She had to get everything down before the rain came.

"Hello, Beth." Carl appeared in front of her, hat in his hands.

She rolled her eyes. "Not now, Carl. I'm busy."

"I just wanna talk about the other day," he said earnestly following her.

"Well, I don't. Let's forget it ever happened." She struggled as the wind whipped a corner of the sheet out of her hands.

He stuck his hat under his arm, grabbed the other end and helped her fold it, making sure when they met in the middle with the corners their hands touched.

"Carl…" she warned sternly.

"C'mon Beth. What do you see in Daryl anyway? He's old enough to be your dad. You and I are only six years apart." The almost-teenage boy was trying to come up with any undesirable qualities his former friend might possess. Surely Beth couldn't have missed them. "And… and he's dirty and smelly. He hardly ever takes a bath…"

"Carl…" She said, the frustration clear in her voice even though she couldn't really argue with his reasoning. Those things were superficial.

"He has bad table manners." Carl's mom taught him that good manners were important and the Dixon brothers were severely lacking in that area although Amanda had impeccable ones. She was raised mostly by her mother so that explained why she didn't have the same rude traits like her dad and uncle.

Beth balanced the stack of folded sheets in her arms and sighed, "Carl Grimes, I'm with Daryl now and I plan to be with him forever." She turned sharply on her heel and headed back into the prison.

Carl put his hat back on his head and said with confidence as he walked off, "We'll see about that, Beth Greene." _We'll just see about that._

* * *

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	40. Chapter 40

Carol stood in the catwalk with her arms wrapped over her waist. She was up early, just before sunrise. She had intended to start breakfast early but she always loved a good thunderstorm and approaching one promised to be spectacular. The wind whipped around her slight form like a fury, ruffling her short hair into a soft silvery cloud around her head.

"What are you doing out here?" A deep voice said close to her ear. "You should've woke me." She smiled and leaned back against Oscar's hard chest, taking pleasure in his warm embrace. He was the only surviving inmate of the prison and her gentle giant. They had never talked about what he was incarcerated for and she didn't care. She wouldn't judge him for what he might have done in the past. The man she knew was just as good as the rest of them.

"You needed your sleep." She covered his strong arms with hers and pulled them tighter. "Besides, I was just thinking." This prison had become their home and the little group felt some modicum of safety after all this time but not enough to let their guard down, especially with the threat of the Governor looming over them. Merle Dixon insisted the man was a psychopath and would find them and kill them all if they didn't kill him first. His former Woodbury companions agreed. If Carol had not have seen the condition of Amanda upon her return from that dreadful place she might have doubted the older Dixon; she might have brushed his warnings off as over exaggerated.

"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked, a little worried at her reticence. This wisp of a woman was stronger than anyone he'd ever met so if she was concerned about something, he couldn't help but be concerned as well.

Carol shook her head and turned in his arms. She stood on her toes and he still had to bend over to meet her lips. "It wasn't important, Oscar." She cupped his face with her slender hands and kissed him again letting her lips linger a little longer. "Nothing to worry about."

He sighed regretfully and pulled away. "I'm headed to relieve Caesar," he said still holding her hands. "Wanna join me?"

"I do, but I can't," She said apologetically. "I need to start breakfast. Tell Caesar to go on to bed. Beth's going to help."

"You work too hard, Carol," he said, turning her hands up, rubbing the chafed palms with his thumbs.

"No more than the rest of us." She smiled up at him and pulled him down for another kiss. "I'll meet you there with two plates when I'm done," she promised.

"What are you going to eat?" He winked and grinned.

"Ha, ha. Better be nice or I won't bring you anything," she teased back.

"Okay, okay! I'll share." Reluctantly, Oscar let go of her hands and said over his shoulder as he walked away, "I'm gonna hold you to that breakfast date."

* * *

Martinez rubbed his neck tiredly as he entered his cell. Double duty on night watch was catching up to him. He knew before he shone the flashlight own his bunk that that Amanda wasn't there. "Amanda?" he called softly. He heard a soft thud and then a shuffle from Rowan's cell. Amanda padded her way barefoot, squinting in the harsh light. "Did I wake you?" he asked as she yawned.

"Of course not," she assured him, hugging his waist.

"Mmmm, you feel good," he said, pulling her to him. He let his lips linger on hers a moment. All he wanted to do was sink into her body, collapse in a sated heap and fall asleep. That wasn't going to happen. He knew better. He had picked up on the subtle cues she was sending even if she wasn't doing it consciously, like last night when she stiffened against his mostly bare body. She still didn't trust him, or maybe she didn't trust men in general but he had to let her know that he would never ask her or make her do anything she didn't want.

He felt her tense again when he deepened the kiss and let his hands fall to her hips. His lips glided across her cheek to her ear. "Baby," he whispered in her ear. "I'm not ever gonna do something you don't want. If you're not ready, just say so."

There was a slight quiver in her voice when she answered, "I don't think I am ready."

"That's okay. I can wait." Caesar was a patient man; he could wait as long as it took but that didn't mean it would be easy. "I might need a cold shower," he admitted a little sheepishly.

She laid her fingertips on his waistband of his jeans just above the growing bulge. "I think I can help you." _Maybe._

He lifted her chin and looked her in the eye. "Are you sure? You don't have to…"

"I know, Caesar. I want to." _I think I do. I don't want to be scared forever._

"I'd like that, Amanda." He pressed his forehead against hers. "I'd like that a hell of a lot."

She smiled and took his hand as they walked to the showers together.

* * *

The Dixon brothers sat in the truck on the side off the road, mere inches from a pine, while rain and hail beat against the top so hard they could barely hear each other speak. It had been like this for the last fucking hour, since the younger of the two men hydroplaned off the blacktop and down embankment. "Like a goddamn fuckin' hurricane out here," Merle grouched. They had no hope of getting this truck out of the mud until the rain let up. Even then, it wasn't likely to happen without some heavy equipment.

Daryl nodded in agreement and chewed the side of his thumb. They had no game, no supplies and they were stuck. He was getting claustrophobic and his brother's grumblings didn't help. "Want me to find another vehicle?" Anything to get out of this damned truck…

"Ain't no use 'til this shit lets up."

"S'pose not," Daryl muttered. Merle was right. "Wouldn't mind tradin' this fucker in for that F250 'bout a half mile back. Whatcha think?"

His brother grunted. "Why the hell not? Bigger and got four-wheel drive, prob'ly wouldn't get stuck in the mud again."

"Nope."

Merle chuckled, "'Member that time, when ya was twelve and I was showin' ya how to drive that ol' truck of Daddy's?"

"I was nine," Daryl corrected him. "I had to sit on fuckin' phone books to see out the windshield."

"Oh yeah, forgot about that." Merle smiled reminiscently.

_Daryl was a gangly boy, all arms and legs but kinda small for his age and he idolized his brother. He was always following him around, pestering him about something. Their momma and daddy weren't worth a damn and Merle took his baby brother under his wing, trying to teach him just to survive in a world that didn't give two shits about neglected white trash brats. He wanted his baby brother to be able to take care of himself when he wasn't there anymore._

_Daryl was an eager student and caught on quick. He could already shoot and trap so Merle knew the boy would never go hungry when the old man pissed away his paycheck on booze; that was if he even got a one._

_One day, after a heavy rain, Merle had had a few beers and maybe a little something else, just enough for a nice buzz and he decided it was time the boy learned to drive. He figured he wouldn't be there when his brother was legally old enough to drive so he thought, Why not teach 'im, now? _

_After a spinning a few wild doughnuts in Mr. Johnson's newly plowed field, Merle handed the keys over to Daryl and asked, "Wanna drive, baby brother?"_

_Daryl's eyes grew as big as dinner plates and his grin split his face. "Really, Merle?"_

_"Sure, kid. That's is if ya really want to."_

_"Hell, yeah, I do!" _

_Merle snagged a rag from the bed of the truck and wiped enough mud of the windshield so Daryl could see._

_His little brother grabbed a stack of phonebooks and catalogs outta the floor of that piece a shit truck and propped himself up just enough to see through the steering wheel and still be able to reach the pedals. Before Merle could get the passenger side door shut, Daryl hit the gas and the truck lurched forward jarring Merle's teeth together. "Goddamn it, boy!_

_Daryl panicked and slammed on the brakes when his older brother hollered at him, throwing Merle into the windshield sending cracks spider webbing to all four corners of the glass._

_"Fuck!" Merle cursed as he grabbed his head with both hands, a trickle of blood seeped through his fingers. "Ya fuckin' damn idio…" He stopped when he saw the terrified look in the young boy's wide blue eyes. His stringy hair was plastered to his sweaty face and he was waiting for the backhand that would have come if their old man had been there. The backhand that almost came from his older brother until Merle saw the fear…he never wanted Daryl to look at him like that. _

_He clenched his hand and unclenched it letting it fall loosely on the seat. Wiping his bloody forehead with his shirt he allowed a forced chuckle to escape. "It ain't that bad," he assured the frightened boy. "What are ya waiting for, Darylina? Let's go." Daryl visibly relaxed and a grin spread across his face again. A few more jerks and another lurch and they were out of the muddy field and back on the road._

_Merle didn't want to leave with his brother scared of him. There weren't no way he could stay around the old man much longer without killing the fucking bastard. He had no real plans but he had to get the hell out of there. Probably go in the service if they'd take 'im._

_The Dixon brothers didn't quite make it home. Daryl ran off the road and got stuck in a ditch, front wheels buried to the rims in mud. They walked the most of the waybefore hitchin' a ride on the back of a flat bed truck. _

_Merle took a beating for the damage to the pickup. After the first punch that sent him sprawling, Daryl started to intervene, to take the blame but Merle screamed at him to shut the fuck up just before another blow landed on the side of his head. That night, Merle packed his meager belongings and left though the bedroom window. _

"Hey," Daryl said, punching his brother in the shoulder, reeling him back into the present. "Where'd ya go?"

"Nowhere, man," He said gruffly and opened his door. "Fuck this shit. I'll be right back."

"What the fuck? Merle!" Daryl yelled after him, soon losing his image in the gray haze of the heavy rain.

* * *

Amanda sat on the bench as Caesar undressed. "You gonna watch, baby, or you want to help me?"

"I'm fine right here," she said with a grin, from her seat on the bench.

He grinned back. "Suit yourself, sweetheart." He suddenly became very self-conscious as her bright blue eyes watched him with anticipation, or was it amusement? Caesar turned his back to her and unbuttoned his shirt.

She whistled. "Take it off!"

He looked over his shoulder at her. "Seriously?"

She giggled and nodded. God, she looked so cute…and sexy with that wicked smile on her face.

"Hell," he muttered and let the shirt slide off his heavily muscled shoulders to fall on the tiled floor.

"More!" she called out, still giggling.

"Not if you're gonna laugh at me." But he liked to see her laugh and her blue eyes sparkle with delight like they were right now.

"I'm not laughing at you. This is me, having fun."

"At my expense?" Caesar asked, with a chuckle but turned so she had a really nice view of his backside as he slowly slid his pants down his hips revealing the top of his worn but well-fitting boxer briefs.

"Nice! Keep going!"

He shimmied his hips and his jeans pooled around his ankles. "And that's as far as it goes, baby." He said stepping out of them and tossing his dirty clothes at her.

Laughing, she swatted them to the floor. "Aww, Caesar," she laughed at the sour look on his face. "Are you embarrassed?"

"Uh…yeah…but I guess I'd do anything to see you smile like that." He turned on the water and stepped under the icy drizzle. "Damn, that's cold," he shivered.

Amanda eyed him. "You going to shower in your boxers?"

"If you're gonna sit there and watch then, yeah, I am." He lathered the tiny bar of soap between his hands and began to scrub himself clean with one of the rough prison washcloths.

Though she had never really thought about it, it seemed strange to her and she told him as much. "I never took you for the modest type."

"Why not?"

"Look at you, Caesar!" she exclaimed. "Your body…you're beautiful!"

He snorted. "Never been called that before," he said, rubbing the soapy washcloth over his black cropped hair.

"Well, you are," Amanda said softly, just behind him.

He didn't hear her walk up and jumped slightly at the sound of her voice so close. Turning his head, Caesar blinked the water out of his eyes as she took the soap from his hand.

"I said I'd help you out," she murmured, working the disappearing bar into a quick lather between her hands.

"Gonna leave your clothes on?" he asked, watching her from the corner of his eye.

"Yes."Amanda turned him away from her and beginning at his thick neck, she leisurely glided her hands across his broad shoulders.

He propped his hands against the wall and let his head drop as she worked the knots out of his tightly wound muscles. He groaned involuntarily as the tension flowed out of his body and down the drain with the water.

Amanda worked her way down his spine until her hands begin to cramp and then she slid them around his tight stomach and lay her head on his back, listening to his steady heart beat. Slowly she let her hands dip inside his boxers and brushed her fingers through the coarse curls until her palm covered the hardened shaft of his cock. She felt his heartbeat quicken as she slid other hand down further to cup his balls.

"Fuck," he ground out between gritted teeth as a shudder tore through him. For so long, Martinez had wanted her to touch him but he wasn't really expecting it now, hoping but not expecting. He wasn't prepared for his body's intense reaction to her hands on his bare skin. Amanda pressed herself against his back and he held his breath as her tongue licked a path up his spine as far as she could reach. He jerked in her hands and she stroked him until his balls tightened and he threw his head back with a guttural moan. No amount of invoking the name of Merle Dixon could keep him from coming when her hand was wrapped around his cock.

"Shit," he gasped, finally able to breathe again. Amanda kissed his back and rinsed her hands in the spray of the shower. She moved around to stand in front of him, the cold water trickling down over them both. Caesar straightened his still quivering body and took another minute to catch his breath not taking his dark eyes from her blue vulnerable ones. A tiny questioning smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she bit her lower lip.

He reached past her and turned off the shower. Pushing the damp curls behind her ears, he stroked her cheeks with his calloused thumbs before pressing his lips against hers and kissed her sweetly. "Thank you," he whispered against her mouth and pulled her in for an embrace.

* * *

Rick passed Carol on the catwalk as she was heading back into the prison. He stopped her a moment to see how she was doing. "Everything okay?"

She smiled. "No problems, Rick." The she took a step back. "What about you?" she asked him, concern filling her voice.

"I'm managing," he informed her but not with much confidence.

Carol squeezed his hand. "You need more than that, Rick."

"I'll be fine." _One day, I'll be fine. _

"Why did you let her go?" She asked sadly. "You know she loves you."

"Carol," he pleaded. He didn't want to go through it again. Once, with Mandy was about all he could handle at the moment and not fall apart.

"Rick, you love her." The older woman's gentle voice and soft voice were almost his undoing. "You were lucky enough to find love a second time. Don't throw it away so easily."

_Easily? Is that what she thought?_ God, it almost killed him. Rick put his hands on her shoulders and steeled himself not to break from the kindness that shone from her caring eyes. "Carol, it's done. I can't do it all."

"You don't have to. There are enough of us here to share all of the responsibilities," she insisted.

He had to force the next words out. He thought about them before but giving them a voice made it real. "She'll be happier with Caesar. He can give her what she needs. I can't." _Oh God._ He thought he might be sick.

"She doesn't love him. She loves you." Carol adored Caesar but in her heart she believed Amanda and Rick were made for each other and hoped that they both would come to their senses before it was too late.

Rick didn't really want to think about Mandy with Martinez but it wasn't his call anymore. He ran his hands through his hair. "To keep us all safe, I have to think of the group first. You trust Merle Dixon with your safety?" Granted, as far as he knew, the man hadn't done anything since he came to the prison to endanger them. But, the older Dixon was a loose cannon and would do whatever he wanted regardless of what anyone else thought.

Merle wasn't the same man she first met at the quarry, Carol thought. Sure, he was still rude, abrasive, and an all around asshole but he was also helpful, hardworking, and surprisingly had a soft spot for children. He believed in family first and now that his entire family resided at the prison she knew wouldn't put them in harm's way. Carol crossed her arms and met Rick's tired blue eyes with her own determined gaze. "Daryl trusts him. And I trust Daryl, so yes."

Rick shook his head, knowing there was no way he would win this. "Maybe so, but I have my own kids to think about, too."

"And you'll be a better father if you're happy."

"I am…I will be happy," he said, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her.

Carol raised her eyebrows in doubt and shrugged. Then she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "I need to get breakfast started." She turned and went back inside the prison.

* * *

An obscured sun was just beginning to rise when Rick turned from the catwalk to look over the grounds. A glint…a flash of light…something caught his eye. Lightning? He thought he saw something…a movement just along the edge of the woods. He lifted the binoculars to his eyes and scanned the trees that were bending to the strong squalls that heralded the imminent storm. It was moving in fast. Just the wind, he tried to tell himself. Maybe so but his cop instincts told him something was wrong. _Shit. _

* * *

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	41. Chapter 41

_Shit._ Rick Grimes _knew_ he saw something move in the trees and it wasn't shadows or lightning. To be on the safe side, he needed to account for everyone. Oscar was in the guard tower so he informed him of his suspicions before heading inside the prison.

Judith sat at the head of the table being fed by Amanda who quickly averted her gaze when Rick's eyes met hers. Maggie and Glenn were at the far end of the breakfast table talking with Hershel. He saw Beth disappear into the kitchen and he recognized the soft murmur of Carol's voice greeting her. Rowan laughed at something the young blonde said.

Rick didn't see his son. _Damn it._ _Stay calm, Grimes. _Carl could handle himself but he'd feel better knowing that his boy was somewhere within the prison walls.

"Good morning, Rick," Hershel greeted him. "Is something wrong?"

"Morning. Does anyone know where Carl is?" he asked, scanning the faces at the table.

Glenn shook his head. "He ate breakfast and left about twenty minutes ago. Didn't say where he was going." Unfortunately, that was all too often the case; the younger Grimes felt he was old enough not to have to inform anyone of his whereabouts or intentions.

Seeing her father, the little princess squealed in delight, slapping her hands on the high chair tray. "Dada!" She bounced in her seat.

Rick walked to the end of the table and ruffled his daughter's fine black hair and followed up with a kiss. "Hey there, Punkin," he smiled. She smiled back proudly showing off her four teeth. He turned to Amanda, who was currently wiping spattered oatmeal from her face and hands. "Mandy, where's Caesar?"

"Sleeping." She eyed him warily. "What's wrong, Rick?"

He sighed. He didn't want to scare them but he knew the tension was coming off of him in waves. "Not sure," he answered, running his fingers through his hair. "I thought I saw something in the trees. We need to check it out."

Glenn and Maggie stood up together. "What do you want us to do?" the older Greene sister asked.

The ex-cop turned to the couple and said, "Maggie, get Martinez. Glenn, come with me. We'll get some extra weapons."

"I can get Caesar," Amanda said.

"That's okay, Mandy, I need you to stay here with Judith. I just wanna be on guard and make sure everyone is accounted for. Hershel, don't let anyone leave this area until we can check it out."

* * *

Before long, Martinez came into the dining area with Maggie. His eyes immediately found Amanda's. "Maggie said Rick saw something outside."

She nodded. "He and Glenn went to get more weapons." Maggie immediately headed out.

"CeCe!" Judith greeted him, slapping her tray once more.

"Morning, Princess," he smiled at the toddler, absently patting her head. He gave Amanda a quick kiss on the lips and headed to the makeshift armory.

"Be safe," she called after him. Amanda wiped the oatmeal from her arms again and looked down the table to see Hershel watching her with a curious look. _Here we go_, she thought. _That's all I need is someone else to put their two cents worth in_.

The older gentlemen just smiled and raised his cup to her before taking a sip. "He's a good man, Amanda."

"But? There's always a 'but'," She waited for him to continue, no doubt with sage advice about true love, patience and blah, blah, blah. She heard it all before.

He shook his head and took another sip of hot tea. "There's no 'but', Amanda. He's a good man, hardworking, loyal, polite, and a Christian." He sat his cup down and pondered his next words carefully before continuing. "If I had to choose, I would have picked him for my Bethie, not your uncle. But then, it wasn't my choice to make."

"Hershel, he's not that bad," she defended her uncle. He was hardworking and loyal but she was positive that polite was a word that had never been used to describe Daryl Dixon. Also, she had no memories of him ever setting foot in a church to pray before or picking up the Bible.

He chuckled, "Don't get me wrong. He's rough around the edges but I like Daryl. He's also a good man and Beth seems happy with him. But he's old enough to be her father, though he's nowhere near my age. I was just trying to say that Caesar will take care of you."

"Thank you, Hershel." He was the first person, besides her daddy, that didn't say she belonged with Rick; no one else seemed to take into the account the fact that Rick dumped her, not the other way around. _All because Ranger Rick insisted on being a martyr. Asshole._

* * *

A light rain had begun to fall, decreasing visibility from the prison considerably. Martinez volunteered to check out the wooded area where Rick saw movement. Going out there was the only way they would be able to see anything. Maggie and Glenn were patrolling the fence line heading north and Rick would cover the southern portion of the perimeter after he delivered the weapons for Hershel to distribute among remaining members of the group.

A woman's scream ripped through the air. Rick threw the bag over his shoulder, drew his gun and ran in the direction of the sound. He skidded to a stop as he entered the dining area. His heart constricted when he saw Amanda unconscious on the floor with Hershel and Carol kneeling by her head. Beth stood just behind them, hands covering her mouth. Rowan held a teary-eyed Judith in her arms.

Rick dropped the bag of weapons and ran to Amanda's side. "What happened?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm although his heart pounded loudly in his chest.

Hershel held pressure on the young woman's forehead; blood seeped out between his fingers. "She stood up to take Judith out of the chair and passed out. Must have hit her head on the table."

_Shit._ He wasn't sure what to do. "We need to get her off the cold floor."

"I think we should take her to the infirmary," Hershel advised. "Carol and I have cleaned it and it's ready for use."

Rick nodded, lifted her thin form carefully and cradled her in his arms while Carol kept pressure on her forehead.

"C'mon," he called to the other women. "I want ya'll to stick together. Beth, grab the guns."

The young woman picked up the heavy bag with two hands and followed Rick and Carol while Rowan carried Judith and Hershel brought up the rear.

Rick settled Amanda on the stretcher in the exam room. Carol grabbed a towel and some saline from the cabinet to clean up the blood from the injured woman's head.

"It's not deep," Hershel announced, after taking a closer look. "I think we can get by with some steri-strips."

Rick sighed with relief but that didn't answer his main concern. Why the hell did she pass out in the first place?

Amanda rolled her head to the side with a groan as she struggled to get up.

"Slow down there, honey," Rick said, gently pushing her shoulders back down. "Take it easy. You hit your head." Her hand flew to the wound but he captured it first. "Got a nasty cut, Mandy. Let Hershel clean it up."

"What happened?" she asked pulling her hand away from his and letting it fall to the stretcher. Her head was throbbing.

Rick sat back in the chair by the stretcher. "Apparently, you fainted."

"Bullshit," she scoffed. "Dixons don't faint."

He met her defiant gaze. "Pregnant ones who don't eat do."

"I was getting around to it." She hated the way Rick was looking at her right now. Concern, pity, whatever it was, she didn't want to see it so she turned her head away from him.

"Hold still," Hershel demanded.

"Sorry," Amanda mumbled and let the old man turn her head back where he needed it. She tried not to flinch as applied the strips.

"Mandy," Rick leaned over the bed. "Listen to me," he said firmly. "You can't keep doing this."

"Doing what? I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Grimes." Amanda tried turned away again but Hershel held her head securely in place.

"Trying to kill yourself," he spoke softly so no one else but Hershel could hear.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Rick," she retorted, closing her eyes refusing to meet his gaze. She wasn't trying to kill herself.

"Why else wouldn't you eat or drink unless you're trying to kill yourself…or the baby."

She wasn't trying to kill herself. Was she? Amanda burst into tears. "I'm not," she said, but the conviction wasn't there. She wasn't doing it intentionally but was she doing it subconsciously?

Rick continued, unconvinced by her weak denial. "Mandy, you can't do this. We need you. Too many people here love you. It would kill your daddy if anything happened to you."

"I'm sorry." Her voice was small and scared. "I don't mean too…" _Not really. Do I? _She hadn't thought about her dad, her uncle, Caesar or anyone else. Only herself. Rick's voice cut through her self-pity.

He took her hand in both of his and wouldn't let her pull it free. "Honey, it doesn't matter what you _mean_ to do, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't survive this and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to help you." he added, with a finality that hit home. "You will leave a hole in this group, in this family, that can't be filled."

Amanda didn't want to hear anymore. Rick could read her better than anyone, including herself. Perhaps she was just hoping to fade away, disappear into nothingness, and leave all the ugliness behind. That was what she really wanted to do if she was honest; but that was giving up and Dixons didn't give up, damn it. Why did she have to be a Dixon? She closed her eyes and exhaled softly and nodded in understanding. _Shit! That hurt._ It felt like her brain was loose inside her skull.

Rick squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips for a gentle kiss before realizing what he was doing. He couldn't do that anymore…kiss her…even if it was only her hand. He let her hand fall from his to land on the stretcher. He patted it and stood up. "Good. Now, what can we do to help you?"

"The food makes me nauseous. I can't even choke it down," she admitted to him. That made it easier not to eat.

He supposed he could understand that. Lori had the same problem with both Carl and Judith early in her pregnancies. "What do you want? We'll try to find it."

"Ice cream," she said wistfully. "Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream covered in hot fudge sauce with three cherries on top. Oh, and don't forget the fresh whipped cream."

Rick smiled and pushed the matted hair back from her forehead. "Anything else? Perhaps something that doesn't require a freezer."

"Deep dish pizza with pepperoni and onions…and bell peppers and jalapenos…and the cheese is brown and crunchy around the edges?" Amanda closed her eyes trying to picture the delicious hot dish; her tongue swept across her lips as she tried to recapture the flavor in her mind. Damn, it had been too long and the memories had faded with time. When she opened her eyes, Rick was watching her with a half-smile.

He raised his eyebrows. "Next choice?"

"Pickles?"

"Pickles." He chuckled softly. "I can probably do that. Sweet, dill, or bread and butter?"

"Figures," Amanda commented dejectedly. "I don't really want them but I thought pregnant women were supposed to crave them…with ice cream."

"I'll take the pickles if you don't want them. Dill, please," Rowan chimed in hopefully.

Rick smiled at Rowan and then patted Amanda's shoulder. Looking at Hershel, he said, "If everything is under control here, I need to check the perimeter."

The old man nodded. "I think we're good. I found some IV fluids I want to give Amanda to get her rehydrated."

"Oh no," she started. "I don't need that. I promise I'll eat and drink better."

Carol hung the bag on the pole. "Hush. Amanda, and let us take care of you."

"I'm sure you can take very good care of me without needles," she said, scooting away from her friend.

"Mandy," Rick warned on his way out, "don't give 'em a hard time. They're just trying to help."

"Fine," she said petulantly. "You gonna hold my hand when one of them sticks me?"

"You want me to?" he asked with mock seriousness.

"Of course not!" She rolled her eyes at him. "That was sarcasm."

Rick just shook his head. "Alright then, I need to go out and check on things. Keep this door locked until I come back with the all clear."

* * *

The rain rolled off the bill of Caesar's cap as he entered the woods. He wiped the water from his eyes and looked around for tracks. He wasn't a great tracker but the older Dixon taught him enough. He may not be able to hunt for game but he could hunt for man and right now he was staring at a partial boot print. At least that was what he thought it was. He wished either one of the hunters were here right now. _Fuck!_ He said to himself. Officer Rick's intuition was right. Someone had been here.

Martinez stood still, closed his eyes and listened. He couldn't hear a damn thing but the rain and wind. And the rain was picking up. The trees provided a little shelter from the stinging drops but not from the lightning, he thought wryly. Thankfully, the rain and mud severely hampered the mobility of the biters. That was one less thing he had to worry about. From what he could tell, the tracks stopped at the edge of trees, giving the 'intruder' a clear view of the prison. He looked around and didn't see anything else so he made his way deeper into the woods.

* * *

Rowan held the sleeping Judith on her shoulder while Beth sat on the stretcher with Amanda and braided the other woman's curly hair. "There," she said. "That should keep it out of your face." She had cleaned the blood out the best she could with a towel and some water. As long as they were stuck in the infirmary, there was nothing else they could do about it.

Deciding he needed to take a greater role in protecting the younger Dixon, Herschel informed her and Rowan he wanted to start giving them weekly checkups. He would check their weight gain and their blood pressure. He did this for Amanda mostly, but it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on Rowan too. Merle's girlfriend was happy to participate, which helped convince Amanda it was a good idea.

They were all so used to Hershel doctoring them they almost forgot that he was a veterinarian. No one in the group was particularly knowledgeable about birthing babies, human babies that is, and Carol was the only one that had given birth. He and Carol had studied a few medical books and gathered general knowledge. Since Maggie had actually delivered Judith, neither Hershel nor Carol had hands-on experience.

However, if everything went well, the female body would do all the work and a baby would be born without problems in spite of any inexperience on their part, but, they were all too aware that things don't always go as planned and Lori's death was always in the back of their minds, especially haunting the members of the group that knew her. As it turned out, neither Rowan nor Amanda knew Lori, so that could be to their advantage.

Carol paced the room restlessly. "I have too much to do to stay in here any longer." She put her hands on her hips and squared her shoulders. "Hershel, may I please have the key? I want to get lunch started."

"Now Carol," he said, using the tone he used with his daughters when he was trying to be patient, yet firm, "You heard what Rick said. We need to stay put until he comes back."

"I'm with Carol on this one, Hershel." Rowan said, gently rubbing the baby's back. "I'm ready to get this young lady to her crib and get to work on lunch, too. Besides, I'm really hungry."

"Who's hungry? You or little Merle?" Amanda teased.

"Funny, but the food has to go through me to get to him and his name is NOT going to be Merle," Rowan said decisively. She and Merle hadn't even discussed names. It was still early; they had plenty of time. Now that she thought about it, she should bring up the topic, just in case she needed to head off any ideas the older Dixon might have for undesirable names.

"Are you sure about that, Rowan? If it's a boy, I don't know how you're going to get around it. Daddy's pretty damned stubborn."

"What if it's a girl?" Beth asked.

"Oh I got that one, too." Amanda grinned and announced, "Merlina."

Rowan flipped her off when Hershel's back was turned causing both Amanda and Beth to giggle. "Not going to happen."

"Merle Jr. or Merlina." Even Hershel laughed at that. "Poor kid."

"C'mon, Hershel. Let me have the key," Carol pleaded. "I feel like these walls are closing in on me. We can move Judith's crib to the dining area and still all be locked in together."

The Greene patriarch sighed. The women outnumbered him, as usual, and he wouldn't put it past them to tackle him and take the keys if they really wanted to. Also, Hershel knew that Carol had claustrophobic tendencies and being cooped up in this stuffy room any longer would only exacerbate her condition. "Fine," he agreed. "But we need to make it quick." He looked around the room until he spotted what he wanted. "Bethie, get that wheelchair."

"Oh, hell no!" Amanda protested vehemently. "I can walk."

Carol put her hand on the other woman's arm. "Amanda, if you faint, no one here can carry you and we'll be stuck in the hallways."

"I didn't faint and it won't happen again." Whatever happened, she refused to accept the idea that she fainted because Dixons don't faint. Daddy or Uncle never said it; Amanda decided to add that one herself.

They all looked at her as she slid down from the table. Her legs wobbled a bit but she steadied herself by holding on to Beth's arm. "See." She actually felt pretty good. "Now give me one of those guns just in case."

* * *

Martinez had been slogging through the rain and mud for over an hour when he caught a glimpse of blue just ahead of him. Not a biter, it moved too smoothly. Quietly, he followed it. _Shit!_ It was a fucking live person who wore a hood, which in effect cut off his peripheral vision. Swiftly, he ran up behind the man, threw his arm around his neck and slammed him to the ground, knocking the air out of his lungs before he could call out. Leaning close to his ear, he growled, "Make a sound or move without my permission and this knife goes between your ribs." He pressed the sharp edge through the man's raincoat to make his point. "Understand?"

The man nodded. Caesar carefully searched him and removed two automatic weapons and a hunting knife. "Turn over on your back and don't get up." Martinez stood up, his own weapon ready in case the man decided to try his luck.

His captive rolled over and looked up at him with wide frightened eyes. _Shit_. He was just a kid, nineteen or maybe early twenties. He looked slightly familiar. The boy recognized him first.

"Martinez?" The kid started to rise and Caesar pulled the hammer back on his gun. It was probably two wet to shoot but he bet the kid didn't know that. "It's me! Travis, from Woodbury. Remember?" The boy pulled his hood back grinning widely. "Shit, dude, the Governor is going to be happy to see you! We thought Dixon killed you. You and that girl, the governor's ex-girlfriend. You know, the one before Andrea? Had a hero's funeral and everything for you. Where ya been, dude? You hiding out in that prison?"

"Stand up, Travis." The kid did and Martinez searched him for weapons again, not finding any more.

"Can I have my shit back?" Travis asked, indicating his weapons, which Martinez now possessed.

"Later," Caesar told him. He vaguely remembered the boy. Didn't have any family left, if he recalled correctly. "Who's with you, Travis?" He knew the Governor never sent anyone out alone especially someone as green as this kid appeared to be.

"Three other guys. Stephens, Allen, and Shupert. Got separated yesterday and I was trying to find my way back." The boy pulled his hood back up and shoved his hands in his pockets, his teeth chattering.

Martinez didn't recognize the first two names. Shupert was probably the Governor's right hand man now. He would hate to go up against him. They'd been friends. "Why are you out here, this far from Woodbury?"

"We've been chasing a man and a woman, stole some food and weapons." The boy shifted on his feet looking entirely miserable. If he was expecting sympathy from the older man, he was mistaken.

_Fucking hell_. "Can you tell me where Shupert or your buddies are?" Martinez needed that information. Maybe he could talk to Shupert and see what's actually going on in Woodbury and if the Governor was up to more than just searching for thieves. He knew the man carried a grudge. And Martinez would bet Merle Dixon was still on his revenge list. Caesar wondered why the governor thought he was dead instead of just teamed with a traitor.

"Shit, dude, I got lost, turned all around in these woods." Travis gestured to the forest surrounding them. "All these fucking trees look the same to me."

Martinez slung the water from his cap and put it back on his head. "If I got you back to the main road do you think you could find them?"

"I don't know. Probably. I can try." Travis looked around. "Can we get outta this fucking rain?"

"Sure, kid. After you show me where Shupert is, I'll see what I can do about getting you a hot meal." Whether he would really do that remained to be seen. Caesar didn't know what the fuck he was going to do with him.

"Oh man, that'd be great. I'd do about anything for hot food right now." Travis smiled, looking over his shoulder at him. "Maybe you can introduce me to that pretty blonde I saw taking the laundry down."

_Shit!_ "Get that fucking idea outta your head, boy. Her _man_ will skin you alive just for thinking about her." Martinez needed to make a decision quick. He sure as hell couldn't let the kid go back to Woodbury and he wasn't too keen on the idea of taking him to the prison, either. That didn't leave many options.

"That Shupert is hardcore," Travis rattled on. "He wouldn't even let us stop to eat. Just shoved a box of granola bars at me when I told him I was hungry."

_You were lucky he didn't stick a knife in you for complaining_, Martinez thought, _or for talking so damn much._ _The kid definitely wasn't cut out to do the Governor's dirty work._ "Go straight ahead." He pointed in the direction of the highway. "I'll show you the way," he told the boy, gripping his own knife loosely in his hand.

* * *

**Welcome new followers.**

**Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.**

**Special thanks to Siarh for patiently helping with edits.**


	42. Chapter 42

"You are fucking, crazy, Merle," Daryl snorted, arm casually draped across the seat back of their newly acquired black F250. It was a sweet ride. He was surprised his older brother even let him drive but the other Dixon seemed content to enjoy the trip.

Getting the new vehicle was a pain in the ass, almost more trouble than it was worth. The battery was dead so Merle had come back to pull the one out of their original truck which was hopelessly stuck in the mud. He made Daryl lug the fucking thing the half mile back. They made quick work of putting in the new battery. The keys were still in the ignition but the owner was long gone and one turn, the F250 roared to life. It was fucking awesome.

After transferring the supplies from the piece shit in the ditch to the dream truck and covering them with a tarp, both men were soaked to the skin from the pelting rain; but they were finally on the road again.

Merle laughed at his baby brother, "I ain't crazy, Darylina! I'm just tryin' to make up for bein' such a shitty daddy. Just wait 'til ya see the look on Ladybug's face. It'll be worth it."

"I can think of better ways to make it up to Possum. Already been too much trouble, is all I'm sayin'," Daryl insisted, especially since he was the one that had to do all the dirty work.

"And you ain't thinkin' it through, Baby Bro. Besides ya ain't a daddy so I don't need advice from you on how to make my girl happy." The surprise for his daughter was perfect. He couldn't wait to see her reaction. She was going through some serious shit now and he felt like she could use some cheering up.

"If you say so, Merle." Daryl said, dubiously, glancing in over his shoulder at the box sitting on the narrow back seat of the extended cab. Merle also got a little something for Rowan. Maybe he should have picked up a present for Beth. He wasn't good at this relationship shit. What if he got her the wrong thing? Would that be worse than getting nothing at all? Probably not. Merle would be showering Rowan and Possum, even Judith, with gifts and he'd be standing there empty-handed like an idiot. He could imagine the disappointment on Beth's face. _Fuck!_ He should have thought of that earlier. They were on the homestretch and planned to be at the prison a few hours after dark. He didn't know if he'd get another chance to find something for Beth.

Merle smiled to himself. He couldn't wait to get back. He was tired of sleeping in the truck. He missed Rowan and how her body fit perfectly with his when he curled around her on the bunk. She was soft and warm and smelled a hell of a lot better than his baby brother. She was fuckin' carrying his baby and she looked so goddamn beautiful when she smiled at him that he almost got choked up. What a pussy he'd become, but, fuck, if he wasn't happier than he'd ever been. She gave him a high like no drug ever did.

And Ladybug. Merle was worried sick about her. He didn't know how to make things better or even easier for her. He could try to make it safe. Or so he thought. Didn't catch sight of the fuckin' Governor. He thought about forcing a resident to tell them what they knew but the mother fucker kept his plans to himself and his inner circle which Dixon was sure was out with him, wherever he was. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. He didn't like thinking about where the man was since he wasn't in Woodbury. He knew from experience that meant the man was up to no good.

"Fuck!" Merle yelled, as his head hit the top of the cab. Daryl had taken the truck off-road and they were flying across the middle of an overgrown field in the direction of a large farmhouse situated just at the top of a slight rise. "Ya coulda used the fuckin' driveway, asshole!" he bitched at his brother who was grinning like the redneck he was when he answered.

"Why? Paved roads are for pussies! 'Sides, I wanted to see what this baby could do," he laughed patted the dash with his left hand.

"Well give me a warnin' next time, ya jackass. Ya 'bout broke my goddamn neck," Merle grunted, rubbing his head and turning it side to side, feeling out the damage.

"Ya gettin' too old, ya Pussy," Daryl taunted. "Maybe we can find ya a wheelchair here."

"Fuck off."

Daryl grinned, skidding to a stop at the front porch. He managed to run over a lone walker in the process. "Hot damn!"

The Dixon brothers jumped out of the vehicle and within minutes, they determined the house walker-free. They began collecting anything and everything they thought they could use.

Daryl met Merle in the living room after cleaning out the second floor. "Maybe I ought to give this to Carl."

Merle looked over at the eight inch hunting knife his brother had balanced in his hands. The older Dixon chuckled. "Not unless you have a death wish, baby brother."

"What are you talking about, Merle?" He looked up to see if his brother was joking but sometimes with Merle it was hard to tell. He had a damn good poker face.

"That boy only wants one thing from you and it sure as hell ain't no damn knife." When he saw the puzzled look on his baby brother's face Merle shook his head. Goddamn it, the boy was dense when it came to people so he had mercy on him and spelled it out. "He wants your woman." He smiled as his words absorbed into Daryl's thick skull.

"What?" he stopped to considered Merle's words. "Beth?"

"Bingo! And giving him that knife is like giving him an invitation to stick it between your ribs. With you outta the picture, there ain't no one standin' in his way." Merle's face was dead serious.

"Pft," Daryl snorted. His brother was crazy. Carl just has a crush on her, that's all. The boy was too young to be thinking about girls other than that. Hell, when he was twelve, all he thought about was…_Fuck! Surely Carl couldn't believe he had a chance with Beth_. Damn Merle for putting that thought in his head. "You're an asshole."

His brother laughed. "And you're too easy, Darylina," he said throwing a trash bag full of loot into the back of the truck. Merle retied one end of the tarp over the supplies while Daryl grabbed the other end.

Both Dixons froze at the same time. Their eyes met over the bed of the truck. The distinct sound of a vehicle, heading in the general direction of their location interrupted their friendly brotherly bonding.

"Fuck, Merle!" Daryl said. They were out in the open with no cover. Anybody passing by could see them. The fact that they hadn't seen a single living soul in the past three days led to their carelessness.

The sound was getting closer. "We shoulda fuckin' parked around the back," his brother growled, grabbing additional weapons from the cab and running back into the farmhouse.

From their vantage point on the second floor Merle and Daryl watched as a dirty white Ford Excursion drove by the house then turned sharply onto the long drive.

* * *

Carl meandered through the lowest floor of the prison. It was dark and damp and down there and he couldn't even tell what time of day it was but he didn't mind. He wasn't scared of anything anymore. Well, that was entirely true. He was scared of losing his family and he considered the whole group his family, except for Daryl Dixon. He still had grudging respect for the man's skills and since the group had arrived at the prison, Daryl had freely shared his knowledge with the younger Grimes. The hunter had never treated him as a child. However, Carl didn't think he would ever forgive the man for stealing Beth away from him.

He hoped that his words to the beautiful blonde would sink in and she would realize that Daryl wasn't such a prize after all. Women like polite, well-groomed men with good manners and he had none of those qualities. He could be an ass sometimes too and when he broke Beth's heart, Carl would be there to pick up the pieces while she wondered what she saw in Daryl after all.

Although, in all honesty, as mad as he was, Carl still missed his friend. He missed hunting with him, cleaning game, and the regular man-to-man talks they used to have. Truth be told, Daryl hadn't spent much time with him since his brother Merle came to the prison and even less time when Daryl hooked up with Beth.

A rustle up ahead interrupted the boy's moping. He stopped to listen. There was definitely something moving and it didn't sound like a walker to him. Carl thought he heard soft voices but he wasn't sure; he knew running water could play tricks the mind and in few of the places he passed, water had been trickling down the walls since the rain started. It wouldn't hurt to check it out though. After all, Carl dispatched one stray walker since entering the 'tombs' as T-dog had called this place. He was ashamed of himself for almost forgetting the man who gave his life to save Carol but it had been a long time since the walkers took him down…the same day Carl's mother died.

He angrily wiped a tear away. He was too old to cry. He had to be strong. He had to do his part to protect the rest of the group. One little mistake could be fatal. He could take care of this by himself and prove to Beth and everyone one else that he wasn't a little kid anymore.

* * *

"Thanks man," Martinez leaned back inside the Bronco and blew a lopsided ring of smoke out the window. Damn that was good. He couldn't remember the last time he had a cigarette. He had quit long before the dead rose.

Shupert nodded and blew his own perfect smoke ring.

Martinez grinned. "Asshole."

The large man chuckled. "So now what?"

"Not sure." Martinez had relayed the entire story of how he came to be at the prison with Dixon.

Shupert confirmed Travis' story. They were looking for two fugitives, a male and a female. They didn't steal anything. They only thing they did wrong was want to leave Woodbury. "You could come back," he suggested. "The man would have a hero's welcome for you."

Martinez shook his head. "Don't want to as long as that psycho is still alive."

Shupert shrugged and blew a puff of smoke out the window. The rain had slowed down to a drizzle.

"Besides, Shup, I gotta a woman that I'm not leaving behind." Not now, not after she chose him over that prick Grimes. Not after she touched him in the shower like she did last night, or was that this morning? He had so little sleep since the Dixons left he couldn't tell one day from the next. And since Shup was out here taking direct orders from the Governor that meant the Dixons hadn't killed him yet.

"Bring her."

"Can't, man." He doubted Amanda would ever step foot in Woodbury again even if the Governor was dead. Martinez paused a moment before telling his friend, "It's Merle's daughter."

"Why the fuck her?"

"Don't know, Shup." Maybe he did. He smiled. "When I saw her up in that tree taunting you and breaking your arrows in half, I knew she was something special."

Shupert snorted then laughed. "You're one crazy mother fucker."

"I know," he laughed a little with his friend, then in a more serious tone said, "She's pregnant."

Shupert raised an eyebrow. "Doc Stevens can take care of her."

"It's not mine," Martinez said, taking a long drag from his cigarette, slowly blowing the smoke out the passenger's side window.

He raised the other eyebrow. "Crowley?"

"Nope," he said, flicking his spent butt to the ground. "The Governor. They put a bag over her head. Crowley did all the talking, and the bastard, well…She doesn't even fuckin' know it. Just me, Crowley, and the man himself." And Crowley was dead. He didn't know why he told Shupert. Martinez had planned to carry that secret with him to his grave but the burden of carrying it weighed heavy on him and maybe sharing it lightened load.

"Holy shit." Shupert shook his head. "Fuck, man, that's messed up."

Caesar closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat. "The Gov wanted me to stick with Dixon, let him know where Dixon went and if his seed 'took'." Martinez barely controlled a shudder of disgust. "Then I was supposed to get back to him, with her, if it did."

"You're backing out." It was really a statement more than a question.

Martinez opened his eyes and turned to the big man. "Got no choice, man. I might love her."

"You gonna tell her who the daddy is?"

"Hell no, it would kill her. She's barely hanging on as it." He was doing his best to protect Amanda; she was so fragile. He hated to have a secret between them but he didn't see anyway around it right now...maybe he could tell her after the baby was born.

"If the man finds out, you know he won't stop until he finds her." He'd been one of the Governor's soldiers long enough to know that that bit of information would derail the man's plans to find the two fugitives or Michonne. Not only would the man have another child but it would be the cherry on top of his revenge for Merle Dixon.

"You gonna tell him, Shupert?" Caesar's question took on a dangerous tone. He wouldn't hesitate to do what he had to do to protect Amanda even if it meant taking out his friend.

"Fuck no, man. I wouldn't do that to you." He pulled out another cigarette for himself and offered one to Caesar. "Penny's dead."

"Fucking hell," Caesar said, as Shupert lit his cigarette, snapping the lighter closed loudly. If the Governor had not already gone over the edge, the death of his only daughter would have sent him there. "Who put her down?"

"Remember that bitch Merle brought in with Andrea; Michonne was her name?"

He nodded.

The big man went on, "She came back and put a sword through the girl's head and then stabbed him in the eye."

"Fuck, man. You serious?" Now that his Penny was dead, Martinez knew the Governor would stop at nothing to get to Amanda if knew about her pregnacy.

Shupert watched the rain run in rivulets down the windshield. "The man went bat shit crazy. Since Dixon and you took out all our good men, he's been using women and children as soldiers," he said, indicating the corpse of Travis lying a few feet away from the truck with a wave of his hand. "Sent them out after that bitch. She killed them all, heads sliced clean off."

"You don't need that shit, Shup. Come back with me. Leave now and he'll never be able to find you," urged Martinez. They could use another gun at the prison.

He shook his head with regret. "Can't leave the poor folks who depend on him to keep them safe."

Martinez snorted. "He ain't the one keeping 'em safe. You are."

"That's why I can't leave," he replied solemnly.

"I really hate to hear that." He really did. Shupert was a good guy but a soldier like him, not a leader. He wondered if the citizens of Woodbury had someone who could step up as leader in the event of the Governor's imminent demise. The only one he knew was that blonde bitch he was sleeping with and that was only if she would ever see the man for the monster he was.

"You gonna kill me, Martinez?"

"Not now, but if the man suddenly shows up at the prison with his _army_, I won't hesitate," he promised his friend.

"Fair enough."

The walkie-talkie between them crackled and the Governor's voice broke through the silence. "Shupert, come in."

The big man closed his eyes for a second before picking up, "Shupert here."

"We got 'em. Jackson thought he saw them slip through the fence at a prison about 10 miles off the highway. The West Georgia Correctional Facility. Meet me there. Hold on, I'm going to put Davis on for directions."

"Yes sir."

Caesar was already getting out when Shupert grabbed him by the arm. "Get in. I'll take you as far as I can. It'll be faster."

Caesar paused for a second then nodded, sliding back into the seat, wanting to believe that Shupert really was the friend he thought he was.

"Shupert, this is Davis. Ready for the directions?"

"Go ahead, Davis."

* * *

_**Special thanks to Siarh for editing.**_

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_**Happy reading!**_


	43. Chapter 43

Merle and Daryl watched the Excursion pull up behind their F250. The older Dixon jerked his head toward the back of the house and without a word the younger brother headed down. Merle had lifted the window enough to prop the barrel of his rifle and took aim at the newly arrived vehicle.

An armed man exited the vehicle and snuck up on the empty truck, pointed his gun in the window. Finding no one, he then put his hand on the hood. "Clear, boss, but the engine's still warm."

The rear passenger door opened and a man with an automatic rifle jumped out and headed to the back of the house followed by another heading around the other way. _No worries there_, Merle smirked, knowing his brother would be waiting and could handle both easily.

Daryl waited until the first man came through the back door. Not giving the man's eyes time to adjust, he grabbed him by the hair and stuck a knife through his eye, killing him dead with no chance of rising again. He eased the corpse to the floor and was dragging it into the kitchen when he heard another set of footsteps approaching. The hunter backed into the shadows and waited for the other man to step into his lair.

* * *

Carl crept quietly down the corridor toward the muffled voices. It was definitely human. His hands began to sweat and he tried to calm himself. You can do this, he told himself bravely. With his back up against the wall, he moved slowly to the corner. The voices were slightly louder but not clear enough to understand the words. He braced himself, took a deep breath and jumped around the corner Beretta aimed straight ahead.

Nothing. No one. Not even a walker. Carl didn't lower his gun though. Always keep your guard up. That's what his dad said. He moved toward the first doorway, listened, hearing nothing, he jumped into the doorway, arms extended gun ready. Nothing.

He stepped out.

"Hey kid! Boy, are we glad…"

Carl turned and squeezed the trigger.

A woman screamed and a large man fell to the ground. "Don't shoot!" the woman screamed again, dropping a pipe with a loud clang. "We're not armed."

The man on the ground groaned as he tried to struggle to his feet. "We're not gonna hurt you, kid," he said holding his left arm against his chest.

_No shit_, thought Carl smugly as he trained his Berretta on the intruders. "I ain't a kid," he said standing up straighter, trying to keep his hands from shaking.

"Carl!" The sound of running footsteps behind him came to abrupt stop as Glenn skidded around the corner, his own weapon in one hand and a 3-foot piece of rebar in the other. "Shit!" he exclaimed when he saw Carl's two 'hostages' in front of him.

"Please help my brother," the woman pleaded, holding onto the man beside her.

* * *

_He_ stepped out from the driver's seat holding his hands in the air. "Hello? Whoever's in the house, we mean you no harm."

The Governor's smarmy drawl made Merle's blood boil. He carefully aimed, crosshairs lined up right between the man's eyes. All he had to do was pull the trigger. _This is too fuckin' easy, _he thought. He at least wanted the mother fucker to know who was going to kill him first.

* * *

Rick rubbed his temples and stared at the two fugitives/hostages that Glenn and Carl brought to the infirmary. "Let me get this straight," he said. "You and your sister were at a town called Woodbury and decided to leave. Now their 'governor' has sent his people to kill you. And you came in through a hole in the fence that you made by tearing out the patch with your hammer?" Rick had sent Glenn to repair the patch as soon as the man told him the first time. Hopefully, no walkers followed the brother and sister through.

"That's it," the large African American man, named Tyreese, answered. He winced as Hershel stitched up the gunshot wound in his upper arm.

"And you led the Governor's men here." _Shit. _It was worse than Rick thought. His group was down two men, three if he counted Martinez because he still hadn't returned…and the entire area was probably crawling with soldiers from Woodbury.

"I can still fight," the man said. "Give me a gun; we'll help defend this place."

"No," said the woman.

Rick, Hershel, and even Carl, turned to look at her with surprise.

"What I mean is, my brother can't hit the side of a barn; he's better at hand-to-hand fighting. I can shoot, though," she explained.

The big man shrugged and winced again at the pain in his arm. Luckily for him, Carl's aim was uncharacteristically off and the bullet just passed through the large muscle of his upper arm causing little damage. "Sasha's right."

Rick didn't think the group was desperate enough to trust strangers with their welfare, at least not yet. "Carl, stay here with Hershel and keep guard. I'll be back."

* * *

Amanda was in a near panic when she found Grimes headed on his way out of the prison. "Rick!" she called out as she grabbed a hold of his arm. "Is it really true? What Glenn said? Are those people from Woodbury? Is the Governor out there?" If fugitives from Woodbury found their way inside the prison, that meant that the Governor's soldiers could too.

"Mandy…" he started in his oh-so-irritating calm-down-I'm-a-cop voice.

"Is it true?" she demanded again.

"Give me a chance to speak," he said, removing her hand from his arm.

"Oh God, it is true. He's coming here." Amanda was visibly shaken at the thought of the Governor being nearby.

Rick put his hands on her shoulders, "We don't know that for sure."

"I do," she said, fearfully. "He will come after them. He sent men after us when we left."

He could see the fear in her eyes, hear it in her voice. He gave her shoulders what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. "Honey, you need to calm down."

She wasn't hearing his words. "And Caesar isn't back, or Daddy or Daryl…what if he found them? What if he…"

"Mandy!" Rick's voice rose as he tried to cut through her panic. She was shaking. He pulled her into his arms in an unyielding hug. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"You can't promise that," she said as she tried to free herself.

"Amanda! Listen to me!" he loosened his grip slightly when she stopped her struggles. "Get a hold of yourself, honey. You can't fall apart now. I need everybody to be strong."

She nodded but the look on her face showed little confidence in her ability to do what he asked. "Beth! Rowan!" he called out of her head.

Rowan came quickly at the urgency in his voice. "Beth is getting Judith to sleep. Is something wrong?"

"Mandy, hon, Rowan's going to take you to stay with Beth while I make sure everything is okay outside."

Amanda jerked away from him. "I'm not a child. I don't need a sitter."

Rick sighed impatiently. "You're right. I just don't think you should be alone right now."

"What do you think I'm going to do?" She stood with her hands on her hips as Rowan looked on helplessly.

Rick shook his head, clearly aggravated. "Mandy, I don't have time for this right now."

"Don't worry about it, Rick. I don't need you. I can find the way myself," she retorted and stalked off.

"What's going on, Rick," Rowan asked.

"Carl found two people on the lower level who said they were running from the Governor," he explained.

Her brown eyes grew wide with realization. "That's why Amanda's upset."

"Yeah." Rick looked at the raven-haired woman thoughtfully, and said, "Rowan, I want you to talk to them. Besides Amanda, you're the only one here that's been to Woodbury. Get any information you can from them like how many soldiers, civilians are there, anything you think might help us, but don't tell them a thing about us."

"I can do that," she replied, eager to help.

"Thank you. They're in the infirmary with Hershel and Carl."

* * *

Amanda sat on Rick's bunk while Beth sang a soothing lullaby to Judith. The young girl's voice was magical and even Amanda began to relax. She lay down and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath to calm herself only to inhale Rick's familiar scent from his pillow. _Fuck_, she muttered to herself sitting back up. Beth looked at her curiously but kept singing.

Amanda wished Caesar was here. His steady presence never failed to ease her mind. But he had been gone for hours and she was worried about him. What would the governor do to Caesar if he found him? She shuddered at the thought. She was sure he would be dealt with as harshly as her daddy would be if he was caught. She was worried about her daddy and uncle too. Hopefully the Dixons were almost back to the prison or far enough away that the governor couldn't find them. She just needed for them to be safe.

* * *

As soon as Merle started to pull the trigger, a shot split the air and shattered the glass of the window. "Fuck," he yelled as shards of glass cut his face. He fucking missed one. Must've been a third guy in the back seat. He opened his eyes slowly; he could still see. What a bit a fuckin' luck that was. Merle leaned his head back against the wall and took a deep breath. That was too damn close. He had to get his head back in the game.

"Got one on the second floor, Governor. Think he was aiming at you."

_Fucking hell, it was a woman! Man must be getting desperate. He never included women on missions._ _Baby brother must still be okay. Ain't heard nothing to the contrary. _He eased away from the broken window and moved to the one next to it. Peeking out, he saw no one but then he heard the screech of the front door hinges as the heavy-footed son of a bitch crossed the threshold. He wasn't even trying to hide his whereabouts. _Damn that arrogant bastard!_

Okay, Merle said to himself, two were down in the back, assuming Daryl didn't fuck up like he did. That meant three were in the house or on the porch. He stood with his back against the door, listening to the footsteps come up the stairs. He was ready.

As soon as the man stepped in the room, Merle came up behind him and cut off his airway before he could alert the others. "Don't fuckin' make a sound or I'll kill ya here and now. Understand?"

The man nodded and the older Dixon eased up on his windpipe just enough for the man to remain conscious. "Now, we're gonna take a little trip downstairs and have a talk with your boss."

"Sonny? He dead?" called the Governor.

"No _he_ ain't dead," Merle answered. "Annie Oakley ain't a crack shot."

"Merle Dixon!" The Governor hid his surprise quickly with a grin. "Woodbury hasn't been the same without you."

"Shut the fuck up," he replied to the man's bullshit.

"Governor. Look what I found lurking around outside. " Annie Oakley came through the front door with her pistol pointed at the younger Dixon's head.

"Goddamn, Daryl!" Merle was really hoping for backup when he made his next move. He wished he had a Plan B.

The woman's head turned sharply at the familiar raspy voice and it took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the dim light of the room. "Merle Dixon? Is that you? I thought you were dead?"

'Ya ain't the only one, Karen," he answered never taking his eyes of the man he had waited too long to exact revenge on.

"Sorry, Karen. I thought it was best that the citizens of Woodbury not live in fear of the traitor returning," the Governor replied smoothly then he turned toward her hostage.

"Ain't no traitor! I gave fuckin' everythin' I had to Woodbury then you let Crowley almost kill my girl!"

The governor ignored Merle's rant and looked the younger Dixon up and down. "Daryl, huh? _This_ is the infamous baby brother?" He raised a brow at the older man. "I must say, Merle, I'm…underwhelmed."

Karen stuttered, not quite understanding what was happening before her. "He, um, he killed Matthews and Ross."

The man shrugged. "Must be more to him than meets the eye, I guess."

"Fuck off, asshole," Daryl spat at the man's feet.

"Definitely a Dixon," he said with disgust as he backed up to a distance he hoped was out of range. "Say, Merle, how's that pretty daughter of yours? Is she, oh, how do I put this delicately…showing yet?"

"Shut the fuck up you cock sucking mother fuckin..."

"Ah, so she is." He smiled. "And are you perhaps staying at that prison, off the highway a few miles, the one you said couldn't be cleared of biters? I have men over there right now. Guess, I'll run by and pick her up myself, since you killed Martinez."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

The Governor smiled widely. He loved it. The idiot redneck was totally oblivious to the truth and it seems that his plan might have actually worked after all. He was going to enjoy every minute of telling it to Dixon. "If your daughter was pregnant, Martinez was supposed to bring her to me so she could have medical care during her pregnancy and give birth to _my_ baby in the safety of Woodbury."

"Crowley raped her and Daryl killed him." Merle said slowly.

"That baby in your daughter is mine and I mean to have it."

* * *

Amanda threw herself at Martinez as soon as he walked in the prison just behind Rick. "Caesar! Thank God, you're safe!"

He held her tight for just a moment before gently pulling away. "Careful, I'm soaked, baby."

"I don't care," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I was worried! You were gone for so long!"

"Hey, what the hell happened?" he asked, reaching up to touch the wound on her forehead.

"I fell. It's nothing," she tried to assure him.

"Amanda…"

The concern in his voice touched her. She knew he cared about her but she felt so insecure since she found out that she was actually pregnant. Amanda thought that she was damaged beyond repair and still didn't understand why Caesar or anyone would want her. How could she put the trauma of being tortured and raped behind her when the repercussion of tragedy was growing inside her?How could he look past it or even accept her as she was when she couldn't even do it herself? So all she could say was, "I'm just worried about you right now."

Caesar cupped her face and planted a long kiss on her warm lips with his cold ones. "I'm fine baby, just a little wet."

Rick tried not to show his annoyance at their overt display of affection but he couldn't control the angry, jealous feeling that grew in the pit of his stomach. Enough was enough so he cleared his throat.

Amanda stepped back but brought Caesar's cold hands to her lips and blew on them, rubbing them briskly with her own hands to warm them. "We need to get you some dry clothes."

"Baby, I'm fine, really." He kissed her on the tip of the nose. "I need to talk with Rick first."

She nodded. "Okay."

Caesar sat down at the table but before she could sit too, Rick asked her for a favor. "Mandy, would you ask Hershel to come in here also?"

She shot him an aggravated look but complied with his request. She bent over to kiss Caesar again before she left and Rick wondered if she did that just to annoy him.

* * *

An animalistic roar welled up from inside Merle Dixon as a red haze blinded him. He shoved his human shield away and launched himself at the man who was Satan incarnate.

Daryl grabbed Annie Oakley's pistol and she squeezed the trigger, bullet skimming his head. He knocked her to the ground and her pistol skittered across the floor into a darkened corner. Several more shots rang out, and he didn't know who the hell was firing 'em but he hit the floor. "Merle!" he yelled. "Merle! Where the fuck are ya?" He felt around on the floor and found one of the automatic weapons the woman 'confiscated' from him.

A shadow crossed the doorway and he realized the governor was escaping. The slippery bastard rolled off the porch, crawled to the truck, and tore out of the yard in a hail of bullets from both Dixons.

* * *

Rick Grimes and Hershel Greene sat on one side of the table and Amanda sat close to Caesar, leaning against shoulder. His arm was wrapped protectively around her. Rick pondered the story the Martinez relayed to him. He couldn't see any obvious holes in it but his instincts told him the man was leaving some facts out. Important or not, Rick would feel better if he knew what Martinez was hiding.

He had arrived at the gate about thirty minutes early in a Land Rover, supplied with provisions and automatic weapons and ammo that he claimed to have taken from two Woodbury men that he killed about a mile out from the prison. Before that, Martinez said he had searched the woods, came across a man who he knew that told him the Governor was after two fugitives. The man led him to his buddies, who were unknown to Caesar, and he killed all of them. He surveyed the surrounding area and found the Land Rover with two other men, of which he killed both, took their weapons and vehicle but not before learning that they had tracked the fugitives to the prison. It all sounded a little too convenient for his liking but Rick had no way to disprove the story.

"Okay," Grimes said standing up. "We need to be extra vigilant. We have to assume the Governor is in the area and possibly on his way here.

"What do you suggest we do that we aren't already doing?" Hershel asked.

Rick rubbed the back of his neck. "There's not a whole we can do different until the Dixons get back."

"Do you think the Governor has them?" Amanda asked, fear clearly evident in her voice.

Caesar pulled her in closer and kissed her temple. "No, baby, your daddy and Daryl are too smart. They'll see him first."

* * *

"Fuck!" screamed Merle as he jumped into the truck. "Fuck! Get in, Daryl!"

Merle turned the key. Nothing. The engine didn't even turn over. "Fuckin hell!"

Daryl stumbled around to the front of the F250. His dream truck was riddled with bullet holes. His head was ringing, he couldn't hear out of his left ear. "It's shot to shit, Bro." His own voice sounded like he was talking underwater.

Merle banged his fist on the dash a few times before getting out and kicking the fenders in.

Daryl just realized his brother was covered in blood from head to toe. "You shot, Merle?"

"Don't fuckin' know but I stabbed that motherfucker," he growled, wiping his face with the back of his hand and cursing again. "Fuck! We need to get to the prison now."

"Ain't got a ride."

"Well ya better goddamn find one quick!"

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

**Thanks to my editor, Siarh, for finding all the pesky typos and wonky parts. Your help is always appreciated!**


	44. Chapter 44

Merle couldn't get the Governor's words out of his head even with Karen's constant yapping. He was about to gag her. By the way his brother was white-knuckling the steering wheel and the protruding vein that throbbed along on his neck, he knew that Daryl felt the same way about their unwanted passenger.

When Karen came through the front door of the farmhouse, they both turned their guns on her but she was unarmed and shock, disbelief, and maybe anger warred with each other as she sat down hard on the front steps of the porch. At the time, the Dixons decided that they couldn't leave her though now Merle was wondering why the hell not? There certainly was no advantage that he could see in taking her back to the prison.

The woman's maddening prattle kept intruding on his thoughts no matter how he tried to shut her out. "So that's why you left Woodbury, Merle? The Governor…raped your daughter." Karen never would have believed that he was capable of such an atrocity if she hadn't heard the ugly truth from the man's own mouth.

Merle didn't answer; he just stared out the window into the darkness. That filthy cocksucker violated his baby girl and he he should have protected her. He felt like vomiting. He needed to kill something or someone. He wouldn't rest until that mother fucker was dead.

Once again, the bitch's voice cut into his thoughts like a jagged knife. "I'm so sorry, Merle. I didn't know. He told us you killed Martinez and Rowan. Does that mean they're not dead?" she said laying her hand on his knee. "Or did he kill them?"

He made no indication that he heard her. He was doing his best to tune her out but her voice was an annoying noise in the background...like crickets at night or a mosquito buzzing around his head. Merle closed his eyes. Martinez knew all along. Could he really have been that wrong about Martinez? He didn't want to think so. He trusted his family's safety to the man. Maybe the Governor lied. That's what he wanted to believe. Blake was a first class liar and knew exactly what to say to calm a crowd or rile them up. Maybe he was just trying to get under his skin. "Fuck!" Merle hit the dash with his fist. He still couldn't believe the bastard got away.

* * *

Amanda lay awake on a bunk in the last cell on the second floor of Cell Block C. Rick insisted that they all stay close together until he deemed it was safe to venture out. The thought of the governor attacking the prison terrified her. Added to that was the fact that her daddy and uncle were still out there somewhere and she prayed that they were safe.

Relief had washed over her when Caesar came back unharmed tonight. He had been gone all day and she had been afraid for his safety. Afraid for herself. He was the rock she leaned on for support. He was dependable. He was always there. Even though she was forging a stronger relationship with her daddy, Merle had let her down to many times in the past and she couldn't let go of the fear that he wouldn't be there when she needed him most.

She listened as heavy, tired footsteps headed towards her cell, their cell. When Caesar returned tonight, she realized how much she needed him. She couldn't say she loved him like she loved Rick but Caesar was always there for her. He accepted her 'situation' as it was and never once made her feel like she was being judged. Amanda sat up in the bed when he walked in.

"Hey baby," he said wearily, taking off his hat and placing it on the small table by the bed, followed by his gun and knife.

"Hey," she replied, getting up. "I brought some towels in here for you." She grabbed two from the top bunk.

He took one gratefully, removed his soaked shirt and began to scrub his hair and shoulders dry. Amanda used the other towel and rubbed it across his back, her fingertips brushing across rain-cooled skin.

Caesar turned around and she dried of his chest. "I have more clothes for you also," she said, leaning forward to meet his lips.

He buried his hands in her hair and pressed his lips softly against hers. "Thanks for taking care of me."

"You do so much for me," she said, letting her hands linger on his bare chest. "It's the least I can do."

"Hmpf," he raised his eyebrows and unbuckled his belt. "I didn't do such a good job," Caesar commented, observing her bruised forehead.

"That wasn't your fault."

He stepped out of his wet pants and dried his legs. She handed him a dry pair of boxers and climbed into the bunk while he changed. Amanda lifted the blanket and he crawled in beside her. She snuggled as close as she could, trying to warm him.

"I'm sorry, Caesar," she said softly, as she nestled into his shoulder.

"For what?" he asked, suppressing a yawn.

Amanda kissed the angle of his bearded jaw. "For taking you for granted."

"Baby…" he admonished, lifting her chin to meet see her eyes.

"No, Caesar, Let me finish," she pleaded. Her fingers absently played with the dark hairs on his chest. "I didn't realize how much I depended on you until you weren't here today and I was afraid something might have happened to you. I started to panic when I thought that you might not come back." She paused with a shuddering breath. "I am so sorry."

"Amanda, I'm here because I want to be here…with you," Caesar tried to reassure her. He wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed her forehead.

"I'm afraid you're going to realize that I'm more trouble than I'm worth," she admitted for first time to him and herself.

"Hush, love," he said, turning on his side to face her. Caesar wiped away the single tear that slid down her cheek.

Her voice quavered, "I have nothing left to give."

He brushed an errant curl from her forehead. "I'm not asking for anything, baby."

"Why do you even want to be with me?" _Why would anyone?_ The tears began to fall freely.

"Amanda." How did he explain how he felt about her? He thought he loved her but maybe that was too much to lay on her right now. "I want to see you the way you were the first day I saw you."

"I'm not that person anymore." _That girl died in Woodbury._

Caesar sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. "I know that, baby, but you were strong and healthy, full of fire and I think that you still have it in you."

"I don't," she said and dropped her gaze.

Ignoring her words, he lifted her chin, "_And_ I want to help you get it back."

"Caesar…"

"Shhh," he said kissing her tenderly. "I'm right where I want to be and I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

"I can't believe he left me," Karen said for the hundredth time, at least that what it felt like to Daryl. The three of them were squashed together in the front seat of a _classic_ Ford truck. His head was pounding as it was, after having to fix the old beat up truck he found in the barn while this…this…yapping bitch held the flashlight and his brother supervised…_Fuck_, they were lucky that he didn't shoot 'em both.

"Why would he just leave…?" the bewildered woman continued on.

"I'll tell you why he fuckin' left ya," Merle bellowed, causing Daryl to cringe and grip the steering wheel even tighter. "'Cause ya probably never shut the fuck up!"

"Why are you being so mean to me, Merle Dixon?" Karen asked, hurt in her voice. She turned her head to look at the older man. She knew him from Woodbury and he was…he was rough around the edges but always polite to the elderly, a gentleman to the women, kind to the children and the men respected him. This Merle Dixon was just plain mean and nasty.

"Cause ya held a fuckin' gun to my brother's head and let that bastard Blake get away when we coulda had 'im if ya just hadn't butted in." Merle leaned forward to look around the woman at the driver. "Speaking of, how the fuck did ya let this bitch get the drop on ya, Darylina?"

"Same way she almost blew your fuckin' head off, jackass," Daryl yelled back. "Now, will ya both shut the fuck up so I can drive!?" Driving at night was hard enough without headlights and none of the lights, inside or out, on this truck worked. That coupled with the constant whining and bitching since they left the farmhouse had his teeth on edge. Crashing and killing them all would at least put an end to his misery.

The woman started in again, "I have to get back to Woodbury, my son needs…"

"And I tol' ya we ain't goin' to Woodbury," the older Dixon said through gritted teeth with more than considerable restraint, Daryl thought.

"But Noah…" she whined.

Merle roared, "Stop the fucking truck!" So much for restraint.

Daryl stomped on the brakes and the truck screeched to a halt and Merle jumped out the door. "Get out!"

"What? You can't mean that…" Karen scooted away from the angry bull of a man and toward his younger brother, practically climbing into Daryl's lap as Merle reached for her.

"Get the fuck out, woman! Woodbury is that way." He gestured with his head in the opposite direction. "If ya wanna go so fuckin' bad, ya can walk."

She squeaked. "But…"

Daryl pushed Karen roughly away from him and Merle grabbed her wrist with his left hand and jerked her so close that her face was mere inches from his. "But nothin'! Either shut the fuck up or get the fuck out."

* * *

Amanda woke up to a cell block that was still quiet and dark. Caesar's chest rose and fell slowly under her hand. She snuggled in closer and he tightened his arm around her mumbling incoherently in his sleep. She smiled against his skin and placed a small kiss on his chest. His other arm came around her.

"Is it morning already?" he asked, sleepily without opening his eyes.

"No. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

Caesar rolled over on top of her and found her lips with his. "How can I when you start kissing me?"

"It was one little, very innocent, kiss," she said, meeting his tongue with hers in a not-so-chaste manner. She felt him grow hard against her thigh and shifted so he fit between her legs. Her hands slid down his back and into his boxers to squeeze his ass.

He groaned in her mouth and pulled back. 'What are you doing to me, Amanda?

"Trying to seduce you," she said, rising up enough to kiss the hollow at the base of his throat.

"Fuck," he said, letting his head drop to her shoulder.

"You don't want me to?" she asked, suddenly unsure of herself.

He wanted this more than anything but not out of any obligation she felt to him. "Oh God, baby, how can you ask that? I just don't want you to feel like you have to. I told you last night, I'm not going anywhere." He pressed his lips against her bare shoulder.

Amanda pulled her hands out of his boxers and let them fall to the mattress.

"Wait," Caesar groaned at the loss of her warm touch. "I didn't say you had to move your hands," he said, kissing her again.

"What makes you think I'm doing it because I feel like I have to?" she asked, bending her knees to cradle his hips between her thighs.

"Because the other night you said you weren't ready." His lips trailed a path of kisses across her collar bone to the top of her shoulder.

"Well," she said, nipping at his ear, "It seems I was wrong."

"Amanda." Caesar propped his weight on his elbows and tried to see her face in the dark. He reached over to the small table for matches to light the lamp

"What are you doing?" she asked nervously.

"I want to see you," he answered, striking a match.

She blew the tiny flame out. "No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm ugly," her soft voice trembled at the admission. Amanda had seen her reflection in a mirror in the infirmary and was appalled; she didn't recognize her own reflection. Dark circles ringed her flat eyes, her normally bouncy hair was dull and limp…and her bones…she could see the outline of bones in her chest and shoulders…

"Baby…" he admonished gently.

"I am, Caesar. I didn't realize how awful I looked until today."

"Amanda…"

"If you see me, you won't want me." How could he? She looked…dead.

"Amanda, Stop," he said with a little more force than he meant to use. He started again softer. "Amanda, baby, what I see in you, is in here." He placed his broad hand over her heart. "_My _Amanda is in here. And she is beautiful." Then Caesar pulled the gold cross over his head and placed it around her neck, tucking just inside her cami, between her breasts. "I want you to have this. It gave me the strength to go on when I didn't want to anymore. I hope it will do the same for you."

Her hand went around him, pulling him into her chest. Her body shook with silent sobs. He moved up to kiss her eyes, her lips, kiss her tears away. Sliding his arms under her, he rolled on to his back with her draped across his chest and held her until she fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

Daryl replayed the scene in his head a dozen times. First, how the fuck did he let this stupid skinny bitch sneak up on him? He was better than that…he got careless after two easy kills. He miscounted the Woodbury soldiers and his mistake almost got him and Merle both killed. And on top of it all, that mother fucker got away. He hoped Merle's stabbed him good enough so he'd bleed out before he reached Woodbury. They would have chased the fucker down and finished him off if the F250 hadn't been shot to shit.

Now he was driving a '54 Ford truck that barely made fifty miles per hour. And they had to unload and reload the supplies for a second time. This had to be the worse fuckin' supply run he'd ever been on.

His stomach turned at the thought of the slimy bastard being the father of Possum's baby. Daryl thought his own brother was going to be sick. He watched the blood drain from Merle's face as the Governor's confession sank in; then when the bastard said he would take Possum's baby, all the blood came rushing back and his older brother exploded.

And Martinez…Fuckin' hell. Daryl didn't much like him anyway but he thought the man had real feelings for Amanda. Was he wrong? Was Martinez just getting close to her so he could get her back to Woodbury and the Governor? Fuck, he needed a drink…a strong one.

Daryl still couldn't believe the lucky bitch survived the crossfire. She came stumbling out of the house in a daze and collapsed on the porch. They shoulda fuckin' left her behind. He wouldn't have lost a damn bit of sleep over it.

Caesar woke before dawn with Amanda still sleeping on his chest. He ran his hands under her shirt and over her thin frame. It broke his heart to see how much she had withered since the first time he saw her. Looking back, he couldn't see how he could have done anything different because if he'd known what was going to happen to her, he would have stopped it. Somehow, he wanted to believe he could have stopped it.

Amanda shifted against him and he tightened his embrace. She pressed her lips against his bare chest. "Morning," she mumbled against warm skin, his nipple constricting under her warm breath. Her fingertips searched out his other one and rolled it into a hard pebble like its counterpart. She whispered softly, "Please let me show you how much you mean to me."

Caesar groaned and moved his hands down her back to her hips. "You don't have to do it this way."

"I want to," she said, sliding up his chest to kiss him.

He pushed her hair behind her ear. "And I will take you up on that but not today. You need to get well first, baby."

"I'm not sick; I'm pregnant," she told him with a pout forming on her lips.

He smiled and pulled her lower lip into his mouth. "But you're not healthy either," he reminded her, deepening the kiss while trying to remember what his objections were as his body responded to hers.

"Maybe, you're just not attracted to me," she stated, reaching down to stroke the growing bulge through his boxers.

"Damn it, Amanda. That's obviously not true," he said with a frustrated groan, pulling her hand away reluctantly. "I think I'm falling in love you."

She sat back on her heels, straddling his middle. "Are you serious?" she asked dubiously.

"Of course I am." He placed his hands on her thighs. "Why do you think I hang out with you all the time?"

She shrugged. "Maybe you just wanted to get laid."

He chuckled, "Well I do want that, baby, but I can wait. I want you to be sure it's what you really want. And I want you healthy again first."

Amanda placed her hands on his larger ones. "I am sure, Caesar."

"Okay, then, as soon as your healthy enough…we will," he said, squeezing her thighs.

"Who's going to be the judge of my health?"

"Hershel?" he offered.

"You can't be serious, Caesar!" Amanda giggled. "I'm not going to ask him if I can have sex! Can you imagine the look on his face?"

He grinned and pulled her down to him. "When he says you are healthy enough for physical activity then I'm not going to let you out of the bed for days."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

The sun had just cleared the horizon when the '54 truck pulled up to the prison gates. The rain had passed and the skies promised a beautiful day. Merle bellowed out the window for someone to open the goddamn gate.

Glenn closed it gate behind them and Beth threw herself at Daryl as soon as he opened the door but before he could get out, covering his mouth with hers and practically strangling him with a bear hug.

Rick eyed the woman they brought with them warily "Who's this?"

Merle answered, "Lock her up."

Grimes didn't question him and led the protesting woman to the prison, depositing her in a cell with Tyreese and Sasha, the other former Woodbury residents.

"Where's Martinez?" Merle roared to no one in particular as he entered the dining area.

Hearing his voice, Rowan came running from the kitchen but stopped in her tracks when she saw the bloody mess that was his face. "Oh my God, Merle! What happened?"

"Not now, darlin'," he growled, pushing past her. "Where the fuck is Martinez?"

"H-He's asleep…with Amanda." Rowan answered, suddenly wary of his furious demeanor. "Merle, honey…"

He stormed toward Cell Block B. Rowan looked toward Hershel far end of the table wondering if she should tell Merle they were here in C Block.

Daryl burst into the room and demanded "Where'd he go?"

"W-What's going on?" Rowan was so scared. She had never seen Merle this angry except when he saw Grimes for the first time since Atlanta.

"Martinez!" he roared, charging back into the dining area after finding the other cell block empty. "Where the fuck is he?"

Rowan glanced nervously toward the sleeping area. The older Dixon took that as an indication and tore off in that direction. She ran after him. "Merle…Wait…"

"Hold up, Merle!" Daryl hollered, racing after his brother.

"MARTINEZ!"

* * *

_**Many thanks wonderful readers and reviewers! **__**Welcome new followers!**_

_**Special thanks to Siarh for her editing services. Check out her stories. You won't be disappointed!**_

_**Please leave a review and let me know what you think. **_


	45. Chapter 45

"MARTINEZ!"

Caesar reluctantly opened his tired eyes. He thought he heard Dixon's voice but it might have been a dream; his brain was still groggy from too many days of not getting enough sleep.

Amanda stretched beside him and yawned. "Did you hear Daddy?" she asked sleepily, snuggling against Caesar's warm body.

"MARTINEZ!"

"It is Daddy! They're back!" Amanda said, eagerly, sitting up and kicking off the blankets. She grabbed the nearest shirt which was Caesar's and tugged it down over her flimsy camisole.

Caesar smiled at her enthusiasm. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and pulled his jeans on. It was good to see her excited about something, anything, again.

Merle thundered up the stairs, two at a time, and reached the cell door before his daughter could get out of the bunk. His fist landed on Caesar face with an audible crack, knocking him back against the wall.

Jumping out of the bed, Amanda screamed, "Daddy! What are you doing?"

To Merle's surprise, Martinez regained his balance swiftly and came back with a punch of his own that rocked the older man but didn't take him down. Caesar was holding his own by sheer survival instinct. He didn't know why Dixon was trying to kill him but he wasn't going down without a fight.

"Stop it, Daddy!" Amanda screamed again, trying to pull him off of Martinez but strong arms grabbed her from behind, pulling her back. She kicked hard at the only thing she could reach.

"Shit, Mandy!" Rick exclaimed when her heels connected with his shins. "Stop it! You're gonna get hurt!"

"Merle!" Daryl hollered. "Damn it! Merle!" Beth clutched his arm tightly, eyes full of fear. He squeezed her shoulders and told her to go downstairs and wait for him with her daddy.

The blonde shook her head vehemently and clung to his side. "I'm not leaving!" Daryl pushed her roughly behind him to keep her away from the flying fists.

Merle Dixon couldn't hear anything but his own blood pounding in his ears. He didn't even feel his nose break for the umpteenth time when Caesar punched him back.

"Let go of me! He's going to kill Caesar!" Amanda pleaded frantically, struggling in his arms.

Rowan cried out, tears streaming down her face. "Merle! Oh God, Merle! Please stop!"

Merle kicked out at the younger man, tripping him up so Martinez fell against the rail. He leapt at the unexpected opportunity and pushed Caesar against the railing, most of the man's weight over the edge… it would just take a little shove and he would be over the side, splattered across the floor. It would be so easy…

"Daddy!" Amanda's screams finally cut through the red haze of anger that enveloped the older Dixon. "Stop it Daddy! Don't kill him!" She jerked away from Rick and flew at her daddy, digging her nails into his arm. "Please Daddy! Stop! Somebody help me!" she begged. "Daryl! Rick! Please help me!"

Rick held Amanda back while Oscar and Daryl pulled Merle off of Caesar. Martinez slid to the floor gasping for air.

Amanda fell to his side. "Oh my God, baby, are you okay?"

He closed his eyes and nodded slightly, surprised to still be alive. He squeezed her hand.

Merle, still being held by Oscar and Daryl, was yelling incoherently when Amanda went over and slapped him as hard as she could across the face. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded through angry tears.

Stunned, he blinked and looked around at the terrified faces that surrounded him. His heart almost stopped when he met Rowan's tear-filled eyes, wide with fright. _Fuck._ He didn't remember much of anything after he saw Martinez with Amanda…just that he was consumed with an all-encompassing rage.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" his daughter shrieked at him.

"Ladybug…" his raspy voice sounded harsh to his own ears. "Listen to me…"

"NO!" She yelled at him.

"Baby Girl, there's something ya need to know." He looked at Caesar who had risen to his feet and moved away from the railing to lean against the cell door.

"Shut up, Daddy!" she said, moving to Caesar's side, gingerly touching his smashed face.

Merle yanked his arms free from the two men that still held him and faced Martinez. "I had a little chat with your buddy."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," he grumbled, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

"The Governor," Merle said. "He told me about your little _deal_."

Realization stuck Martinez that his secret was no longer a secret. He couldn't believe Merle was going to tell Amanda here, in front of almost the entire group. "You really wanna talk about it here, Dixon?"

"Good a place as any," the older man answered.

"Man's got a point, Merle," Daryl interjected uncomfortably, glancing at Amanda then quickly averting his eyes.

"What the fuck ya talkin' about Daryl?" Merle growled at his brother.

Daryl huffed and whispered harshly, "'Cause, ya stupid jackass, maybe some things don't need to be public knowledge." He gestured to at the rest of the group that had managed to make their way up to the scene of the fight.

Merle opened his mouth to speak but the stricken look on his daughter's face stopped him from saying anything else. For the first time, Merle noticed the cut on her forehead. He reached out to her and she slapped his hand away. "What happened…"

"Don't touch me," she hissed.

"She fainted," Rick answered, receiving a dirty look from Amanda.

"Did ya?" Merle asked, now worried about her.

"I'm fine," she retorted. "Why don't you tell me what the hell is going on?" Amanda leaned against Caesar who wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Get your fuckin' hands off her," Merle said viciously and made a move toward Martinez.

"Stop it!" Amanda yelled at him. "Please, just stop it, Daddy. I'll decide who can put their hands on me…not you."

Martinez kissed her temple sadly. "I think _this_ needs to be just between me and Amanda."

"Oh, hell no," Merle said. "Ya just gonna spout off a line bullshit and she'll believe whatever ya say."

Frustrated with her father's stubborn streak that was as wide as her own, Amanda stepped forward and shoved him away with both hands. "Damn it, Daddy! Just back off and quit trying to fix my shit. You're only making it worse."

"Ladybug..." said Merle, as patiently as he could.

Deliberately ignoring her father, Amanda turned toward Caesar. "Do we need to talk?"

"Yeah, I guess we do, Amanda, but I didn't want to until after the baby was born," he answered, stroking her cheek, ignoring the warning growl from her father. "You have enough to worry about and this ain't gonna help. I didn't think you were strong enough to handle it right now," he told her but made a point of letting Merle know the words were just as much for him as his daughter.

Daryl rubbed his aching temple. "C'mon, Merle." As much as he hated to admit it, Martinez was probably right. His niece wasn't looking good at all and this revelation wasn't going to help. However, last time he tried to protect her by withholding the truth, it backfired on him. _Shit_. He was stuck in the middle again.

"What the fuck, Daryl?" Merle looked at his brother like he was crazy. Amanda had to know the truth about Martinez.

"Let's at least go somewhere private," Daryl suggested. More than anything, he hated other people knowing his personal shit and he doubted Possum wanted to make this public.

* * *

Hershel met the battered men at the bottom of the stairs. "I don't know exactly what just happened but I think you both need medical attention."

"I'm fuckin' fine," Merle said, walking around the old man. "This pussy didn't hurt me."

"Hershel's right," Rowan added, "I think you…"

"I said I'm fine, woman," he yelled at Rowan and she took a step backwards. Goddamn he had to get control of his temper. The way she was looking at him made his stomach knot up…like she was seeing the man he used to be for the first time and it scared the fuckin' shit out of her. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard and said in a softer voice, "You're right, darlin'. I didn't mean to yell at ya. Lead the way." He held his hand out for her and he felt a sharp pain in his heart when he thought she wasn't going to take it. But she did and a wave of relief flooded his body. He followed her to the infirmary with Hershel behind. His daughter and Martinez and Daryl and Beth brought up the rear. Hershel unlocked the door and they all went in.

Daryl paused in the doorway and bent down to kiss Beth. "Angel, I think Possum might need some privacy." She nodded wide blue eyes filled with worry. He hated to part from her but someone needed to keep an eye on Merle. "I'll walk ya to the kitchen then I really need to get back and watch my brother."

She nodded again and he pulled her to him for a long deep kiss. He missed her so damn much. His fuckin' brother had to ruin everything. Daryl turned toward Merle. "I'll be right back so don't say a fuckin' thing 'til I return. Understand?"

Shocked at his brother's commanding attitude, Merle dipped his head once in assent and lay down on the examining table. Rowan rolled the stool to the head of the stretcher for Hershel to have a seat.

"Rowan, would you please get me some alcohol and swabs. I'll need to clean up the blood so I can see what's going on better."

Merle grunted. "It's jus' a bit of glass, Doc."

"You're lucky it didn't get in your eyes. Looks like a few pieces came close," Greene said, dabbing at the cuts.

Merle knew that was true. He'd hate to fucking be blind; he couldn't take care of anyone. He wouldn't be able to see his baby. Speaking of blindness, the Governor was sporting a brand fuckin' new eye patch. He'd like to shake the hand of the bastard who did that.

"See if you can find some tweezers, Rowan. There's still quite a few pieces in here," Hershel said peering closer at the mess that was Dixon's face.

Amanda tried to get Caesar to sit beside her in the chairs along the wall but he said he preferred to stand. He paced the floor like a caged animal. He went to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, rinsing away the blood. Amanda came to stand beside him and finding a towel in the cabinet, she patted his face dry. One eye was swollen shut, his lip split, and his nose was obviously broken. She didn't know whether to cry or be angry.

He squeezed her shoulder. "Thanks, baby," he said softly so no one else could hear.

She hugged his waist. "I'll understand if you don't want me anymore." Only a saint or a masochist wouldn't flee from all her problems or her crazy daddy. She wanted to.

"Baby, even your dad can't run me off but I'm not sure you'll want to be with me." Encircling her with his arms, for what he was afraid would be the last time, Caesar knew in no uncertain terms that he did love her. He tilted her chin, kissed her lips tenderly and tucked her curls behind her ears.

"What's going on over there?" Merle tried to sit up but Rowan pushed him back down.

"Let Hershel finish," she insisted, taking her hand away from his chest. She wrapped her arms around her middle and Merle's gaze went immediately to her stomach.

"Is the baby okay?"

She nodded. "She's fine."

"He," Dixon corrected her.

The door to the infirmary, opened slowly and Daryl entered, looking around to make sure everything and everyone was intact. He frowned when he saw Amanda in Martinez's arms. The man met his glare and didn't back down. _Mother fucking bastard_, Daryl thought but didn't say anything. The situation was tense enough and he could just imagine his brother flying off the table, attacking Martinez again at the slightest provocation.

The door opened again and this time Rick stepped in. "Everything okay?" he asked, looking at the younger Dixon and then Hershel. Daryl nodded.

Greene started to say something but Merle spoke first without rising from the table. "Ya ain't needed here Officer Rick. I got it all under control."

"Mandy? Caesar?" he asked, noting the man's smashed face; Martinez was on his feet so that had to be a good sign, he hoped.

"No problems here," Caesar answered, holding Amanda closer.

"Okay then," he said, and with one last look at Amanda's worried face, he left.

"Alright, Merle, I think we're through here." Hershel said, sliding the stool back, giving the man room to sit up.

"Thanks, Doc," he replied, hopping of the table. Rowan intercepted him in case he was going to start in on Caesar again.

"Welcome home," she said her voice a little shaky.

He tore his eyes from Martinez with his goddamn arms around Amanda and looked into the soft brown ones of the woman he loved and did not like what he saw. Fear, apprehension, worry…_Shit._ He was going to fuck up the best thing he ever had in his life and he didn't know how to stop himself from doing it. Merle put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down for a kiss, realizing he hadn't even greeted her since his return. She met his lips coolly. "Merle…" She said quietly, "Why don't we step out and let Hershel take care of Caesar."

"I can't, baby doll. Ain't leaving him alone with my daughter."

"Caesar is not going to hurt her," Rowan maintained.

"You don't understand…"

"And I think _you_ don't understand what I'm saying…" she met his cold blue eyes with her own unwavering brown ones though she trembled under his under his touch.

"I'm fine," Martinez said, stepping away from Amanda. "Let's get this over with, Dixon."

Hershel interrupted, "At least let me set your nose."

"Don't know if there's enough left to set," Caesar said, gingerly touching it.

Merle snarled. "Better wait 'til I'm done with 'im, Doc."

"Merle Dixon!" Rowan's voice rose to a level he had never heard from the normally even-tempered young woman and it scared him into shutting his mouth.

"Will some just please tell me what the hell is going on?" Amanda's voice rose above them all.

Daryl pushed himself away from the wall and went to stand by his brother in case he needed to intervene.

"I tell ya, Ladybug," Merle said, not being able to keep his mouth closed for very long.

"No, I will," Caesar interrupted, "if you'll just shut the fuck up long enough to let me talk."

Daryl stepped in front of his brother. "Let's hear what the man has to say," he said even though he doubted it would worth listening to. Merle grumbled something but stood down at a sharp look from Rowan.

Martinez looked at the other people in the room and then shrugged resignedly; seemed like he was going to have an audience after all. He didn't care what they thought. His only concern was for Amanda. He took her hand in both of his. "I didn't tell you everything about that night we left Woodbury."

"Okay," she said softly, with a slight tremble in her voice.

"Maybe you should sit down, baby," he advised, leading her to a chair. He sat beside her holding both of her hands in his.

"After I confronted the Governor about what happened, he told me that he wanted me to stick with your dad, pretend to be on his "side" and…" he closed his eyes and let out slow breath before opening them again. "And keep an eye on you to see if you were pregnant…"

"Why would he do that?" She began shaking, knowing that it could only be something she didn't want to know. Why else would Caesar have kept it from her?

"Because he was the one that raped you, not Crowley." Caesar had hoped he'd never have to tell her that; now that he had, the burden of keeping that terrible secret was lifted from his shoulders but the knowledge was hers and he didn't know if she was strong enough to bear it.

His words, though delivered softly echoed deafeningly in her brain. All the air whooshed from her lungs…_How could that be?_ She saw Crowley. It was his cruel voice saying those awful things…It was Crowley that haunted her nightmares. The utter silence of the sterile room threatened to overwhelm her and she gasped for air.

"Baby?" Caesar's worried voice came from far away as Amanda fought to keep the blackness from smothering her. _Dixons don't faint. Dixons don't faint. Dixons don't faint._

* * *

Amanda opened her eyes to see five concerned faces hovering over her.

"Give her some space," Hershel barked and one-by-one all the faces disappeared from her sight except his. He held her wrist in his hand with a finger gently resting on her pulse point.

"I didn't faint," she mumbled.

"I know." The older man smiled.

"Where's Caesar?" she asked, trying to see around the veterinarian.

"I'm here," he answered, appearing at her side.

Amanda asked wearily. "Can ya'll leave us alone?"

"Hell no," her daddy's voice cut through the murkiness in her brain.

"Damn it Merle!" Rowan's tone was sharp and Amanda thought she heard him reply but the door closed and she was alone with Caesar. Hershel stayed but rolled the stool to the far side of the room, giving them as much privacy as he could.

Caesar stood by the bed and she reached for his hand. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I was hoping that you wouldn't be pregnant and then you would never have to know," he told her, holding her hand, surprised she hadn't pulled it away.

"And when I told you I was pregnant?" she asked. "Why not then?"

He sat on the edge of the bed. "You were so weak and devastated, Amanda…I was afraid…afraid you'd give up."

She had wanted to. She really did. "What did the Gov-he you tell you to do …if I was pregnant?"

"Take you back to him," he told her straight out.

"Why haven't you, Caesar?" she asked, voice flat.

"I never once considered taking you to Woodbury, Amanda. How can you ask that?" He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice; he thought he'd made it very clear how he felt about her. Every word he said was true but the ones he didn't say were going to be the words that came between them.

She shrugged and turned her head away. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I don't know," he admitted, truthfully. "I didn't want to cause you any more pain. I would have waited until after the baby was born…when you were stronger, but I just don't know. I wanted to spare you the pain of knowing what a monster your baby's father really is."

She sighed, wearily. "I need to be alone."

"Okay, baby," he said, leaning over to kiss her forehead. He looked back sadly at her pale form before leaving the infirmary.

Hershel intercepted the Dixons with a warning tone as soon as they stepped in. "Amanda needs time alone. I'll watch her. I'm sure there are things you both can be doing elsewhere."

She heard grumbles from her daddy but the door shut and there was silence once more. Hershel move his stool beside the stretcher and checked her pulse and blood pressure again. "Caesar was only trying to protect you."

"I'm twenty-six years old, or maybe twenty seven; I'm not a child." She stared at the ceiling. "I'm tired of everyone deciding what's best for me."

"I know, Amanda," Hershel said, "but they're only doing it because they care about you. I suppose they don't know any other way to show you."

Amanda opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the older man. "Hershel, do you think he'll come for my baby?"

"I can't answer that," Hershel replied as he removed the blood pressure cuff and folded it neatly, placing it near the head of the bed. "Perhaps you should ask your daddy or Caesar. They know the man better than anyone here."

"It'd be unlikely that I'd get the truth," she snorted. "What do I do now, Hershel?"

"Take care of yourself and the baby and let them handle the rest."

* * *

**Thanks to Siarh for editing suggestions.**

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**Please drop me a line in the little box below. Happy reading!**


	46. Chapter 46

"Hey, Ladybug." Merle stood in the doorway of the infirmary where Amanda still lay on her side on the table with her back to the wall. Hershel sat in a chair against the wall where he was dozing lightly, waking up to Dixon's raspy voice.

Staring at some invisible spot on the wall, Amanda didn't meet her father's worried and somewhat guilty gaze. "What do you want?"

Hershel pulled himself up with his crutches and cleared his throat. "You're doing fine, Amanda, but take it easy until you get your strength back. I think I'll head on back to the cell block while you two talk."

"Thank you, Hershel," Amanda said. "Sorry, I'm not the best patient."

He chuckled and looked at her dad. 'I've had worse."

Dixon bit back a smart-ass comment and held the door open for the older man to pass, shutting it quietly behind him. The look he was getting from his daughter let him now loud and clear that she had no interest in talking to him. He was never going to get this fatherhood shit down right. The harder he tried the harder he fell yet Dixons didn't give up so he was gonna take another stab at it. He looked at his scuffed boots and shuffled them awkwardly. "Thought you might need someone to talk to."

"Not you. You talk with your fists," she replied sullenly.

_Fuck. _He couldn't deny that fact. It how he was raised…fists do the talkin'. He didn't know any other way. "About that, baby girl…"

"Daddy, I really don't want to talk about it," she said firmly and rolled over so her back was facing him.

Dixon sighed and leaned wearily against the door. "I know I didn't handle it right but ya needed to know."

"Why? I was a hell of a lot happier when I didn't know it and it doesn't change a damn thing." She swallowed hard, biting back tears. "You almost killed Caesar, Daddy."

Merle didn't say anything. He almost did. He probably would have too if Daryl and the others didn't stop him from throwing the man over the rail. He was sorry for causing his daughter more pain, he really was, but he wasn't sorry for beating the shit out of Martinez.

He rubbed his own painful jaw. The younger man got in a few good punches on his own. Dixon knew he would be hurting like shit in the morning, probably worse than Martinez. It was hell getting old. Maybe he oughtta make a better effort to learn to talk without his fists.

"He's still my friend, Daddy," Amanda mumbled, breaking the silence between them.

"After what he did?" Merle asked, incredulously. _What the fuck could she be thinking?_

."Caesar didn't do anything but hide the truth," she stated matter-of-factly. "He…he cares for me and wouldn't take me to the governor."

"Ya sure 'bout that, Ladybug?" He had trusted the man and know he wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Amanda sat up on the table and let her feet dangling over the side. She met her father's gaze for the first time since he entered the room. "Yes, I am, Daddy. 100%," she told him with complete confidence, fingering the gold cross nestled between her breasts.

Merle shook his head. "I don't know, Amanda, maybe you're right but he shoulda said something." He didn't want to think the worse of his 'friend' but Martinez should have told him what the Governor said. If he had known that little bit of information, he sure as hell wouldn't have waited so long to go after the sick motherfucker.

"Maybe, but that's in the past; we gotta move on. Did you kill…him…the governor?" she asked.

The tiny whisper of hope in her voice pierced his heart. He wanted to tell his daughter yes, that the evil bastard was dead but he couldn't, not with any real certainty. He so hated to admit failure especially now when the stakes were this high. But Merle Dixon had no other choice. He looked his daughter in the eyes and said, "Not sure…but I stabbed him real good." He held up his prosthesis, minus the bayonet. "We wanted to make sure you was okay so we came back." He walked over to the exam table and sat beside her. With an arm around her shoulders, he continued. "Going after him, baby girl. Tomorrow, I guess..." He fingered the chain at the back of her neck. Only one person in this whole fuckin' prison wore a gold chain like that._..Damn it all to hell!_

"Daddy…" Amanda warned, pulling it loose from his hand.

It took all the strength he had to bite his tongue and keep his mouth shut. Is that what it took to be a good father? To know when to shut up? That was going to be damn near impossible. With a sigh and a great deal of restraint, Merle Dixon kept his opinion on the gold chain, and the man it belonged to, to himself.

He kissed the side of his baby girl's head._ "_Like I was saying, we gotta make sure the Governor is dead or kill him if he ain't so as we can have a little peace." Father and daughter sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Amanda leaned against him with her head on his shoulder. He winced in pain, wondering if there was any part of his body that didn't hurt and if he would even be able to get out of bed in the morning to go after the bastard.

A low growl interrupted their moment. Merle raised an eyebrow when Amanda pulled away with a sheepish look on her face. "Guess I'm hungry," she said, rubbing her stomach.

With a groan, Merle slid off the table. "Then let's get movin' 'fore they eat all the breakfast. Besides, I gotta a surprise for ya, Ladybug…in the kitchen." He held out his hand for his daughter who took it with a grateful, yet barely-there smile.

"My own personal chef?" she asked hopefully, knowing that was wishful thinking.

He snorted. "I would if I could, baby girl. But no, ain't no chef. I got something better. Something that'll put a real smile on your face," he said confidently.

Amanda had her doubts about his claim. "I can't think of anything better than a chef right now." Her stomach seconded that sentiment with an even louder growl.

"C'mon," he said, genuinely excited. "Follow me."

* * *

Martinez handed down the supplies from the back of the old pick-up to Oscar without a word. The big man looked like he wanted to say something but he kept his mouth shut and they made quick work of the task. Caesar's body ached from Dixon's punches but other than his nose, he didn't think that anything else was broken.

He didn't know if he had a place at the prison anymore. He hadn't spoken with Amanda since she asked told him she needed to be alone. And Merle Dixon wanted him dead. Damn near killed him. He involuntarily shuddered remembering how close he came from going over the second-floor railing.

"Hey, Martinez," Grimes called, approaching the truck purposely, with a coil of wire over his shoulder.

_Aw fuck_, he sure as hell didn't want to talk to the ex-lawman. Caesar met his gaze with the best "neutral" glare he could manage considering one eye was swollen shut.

"You about done here?" Rick asked, even though it was obvious that the last of the supplies were being carried into the prison by Oscar and Glenn.

Caesar nodded and jumped down from the bed of the old Ford. "What's up?" he asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Rick shaded his eyes from the morning sun. "I need you to help me repair the fence where those two from Woodbury came in."

_Bullshit_, he thought. Martinez was usually the last person Grimes ever asked for anything. He wanted more than that; this was probably the part were Grimes told him to pack his things and go but Martinez kept his thoughts to himself and followed the taller man out to the fence.

Rick quickly found the spot where the man named Tyreese tore out the patch with a hammer. Grimes had walked the fence so many times he knew where every patch was by heart. He began to weave the heavy duty wire through the chain links deftly. The rattling of the fence caught the attention of several walkers that were easily dispatched by Martinez. As Rick completed the task, Caesar wiped his knife clean on the damp grass and sheathed it.

"We need to talk," Rick said, slinging the coil wire back over his shoulder when the job was done.

"So talk," Martinez replied, crossing his arms over his chest, struggling to hold back a grimace as his bruised ribs protested the movement.

"Why did Dixon try to kill you?" he asked without preamble.

"Ask him yourself," he replied. Grimes wasn't going to learn about the Governor being the father of Amanda's baby from him. He didn't think Dixon would tell him either.

"Martinez, I need to know if I can still trust you." Rick wanted to trust the man but Martinez wasn't doing anything to help him out.

Caesar shook his head and met the man's unwavering gaze with one of his own. "Did you ever?"

"No, not entirely," Rick admitted. "But Dixon did and now he doesn't and I want to know why."

Caesar shrugged. "Nothing's changed."

"I'm having trouble believing that." After what happen with Dixon this morning there was a hell of a lot being left unsaid.

"Believe what you want." Martinez countered. "All you need to know is that I won't let any harm come to Amanda and if you want to know whose side I'm on, it's hers," he said as he turned his back on the former sheriff and walked away.

* * *

Amanda looked dubiously in the tattered box her daddy handed her. It contained six of the ugliest, scraggliest, and downright _mean_ kittens she had ever seen. As soon as they spied her face above them, the hissing and spitting commenced. She looked up at Merle.

He was grinning and looking a little sheepish at the same time. "Remember when ya brought those possums home and thought they was kittens? And I made Daryl…" He glanced nervously at his younger brother.

"…take 'em to the _shelter_." Daryl finished the sentence for him, with a disgusted shake of his head. He had already decided that if Amanda didn't like her daddy's surprise, he wasn't going to let her know that he was the one Merle made crawl in the dumpster and rescue them. All fuckin' six of the little monsters. Merle claimed his lack of a hand prevented him from performing the task himself and that he was also afraid of accidentally making kitty kabobs with his knife attachment.

"Yeah, well, baby girl, I always felt bad about that so I got ya some _real_ kitties to keep," he smiled indulgently.

"_You_ got 'em?" Daryl snorted and his older brother shot him a warning look.

"It was my idea," he snapped back.

"What am I supposed to do with them?" Amanda interrupted. She was unwilling to stick her hand within striking range of the vicious beasts.

"Well, Ladybug," Merle told her like she was a child, "Ya pet 'em," and he reached in the box to pull out an orange spitter. A black one latched on to his calloused thumb with tiny needle-sharp teeth and Merle gently knocked it back in with his unarmed prosthesis. "All they need is a little lovin' and some food," he said, handing the little tabby to Amanda who took it gingerly by the scruff of its scrawny neck. It never stopped growling as it tried unsuccessfully to claw her.

Merle stretched across the table to remove the half-eaten bowl of mush that sat in front his brother.

"Hey!" Daryl protested, reaching for it only to receive a sharp smack on the hand from Merle's right arm. "Shit, Merle! That hurt!"

Beth slid her bowl to Daryl, "Eat mine, baby. I'm full."

"It was supposed to hurt, ya big baby. Anyway, that's your third fuckin' bowl. Leave somethin' for the kittens," he said as he carefully placed the bowl in the middle of the hissing mass. Suddenly there was silence, sort of. The hissing was replaced by growling and slurping as the half-starved animals devoured the food.

Amanda dropped the one she was holding into to the box so it could get a fair share. In minutes the food was gone and the kittens set to howling for more.

"You have got to be fuckin' kiddin' me," Daryl groaned. "More mouths to feed."

Beth patted his knee and said to him quietly, "I think it's a sweet gesture. I'm sure he went out of his way to catch them. It couldn't have been easy."

Carol handed her bowl to the older Dixon and he put it in the box, silencing the howls. "I think it's a great idea," she said. "They can keep the rats out of the pantry. Good thinking, Merle. Thanks for rescuing them."

Daryl sputtered and started to set the record straight when a loud squeal split the air as Judith ran into the room on wobbly legs. Carl was right behind her with an unhappy look on his face. "I need a break, somebody, please," he whined, looking hopefully at everyone in turn. Not one person would meet his pleading eyes.

Judith squealed again and ran for the box that sat on the floor. "No!" Amanda said reaching for the tumbling out-of-control toddler but she wasn't fast enough and the little girl fell, knocking the cardboard box and kittens across the floor.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed. Six tiny blurs screeched and disappeared into the shadows before anyone could blink. For a moment, they thought the little princess might burst into tears but she had caught a glimpse of the fleeing creatures and undaunted, the youngest Grimes went after them, followed unwillingly by her complaining older brother.

"Judith!" Carl pleaded, chasing after her. "Get back here!"

Daryl sat back in his chair, disgusted_. Shit! All that fuckin' work for nothin'._ "Think we'll ever see 'em again?" he asked.

"I 'spose they'll show up as soon as they get hungry," Merle said, nonchalantly, spooning a big helping of oatmeal into a bowl and handing it to Amanda. "Eat up, baby girl."

Merle filled another bowl and slid it to Rowan who sat down in the seat beside him. She had put in the forest green sweater he found for her. He leaned back to get a better look. It was a little big but hopefully she would still be able to wear it when her stomach grew larger. "I always thought ya looked beautiful in green," he said softly, brushing her hair back over her shoulder to kiss her cheek.

She had been a little standoffish, almost nervous around him since his blow up with Caesar earlier and he was trying very hard to be a calm-and-in-control-Merle. It was killing him to think that she was afraid of him. He knew he had frightened her and he never wanted to see that look on her face again…the same look his own momma got when his daddy lost control.

His right arm stretched across the back of her chair and he wished the fuck he had still had his right hand so he could touch her with a comforting, reassuring touch to let her know that he loved her and he would never raise a hand to her or their child.

"Merle?" Rowan's soft voice pulled him out of his head and his clear blue eyes met her gentle brown ones. "Are you okay?" Her head was tilted slightly to the side and concern etched a line across her smooth forehead.

She was worrying about him…fucking worried about a worthless piece of shit like Merle Dixon…he didn't deserve her and he knew it. But…he wasn't man enough to let her go to someone who did, so he was going to have to just try harder to be the man she needed for both of their sakes. He turned slightly so he could reach her hand with his left one and he gave it a squeeze. "I'm fine, darlin'. Just a little tired."

That seemed to ease her mind and she rewarded him with a smile. The worry line softened and she turned to her food after squeezing his hand back. Merle relaxed a little and finished his own food without his usual complaints. He'd let his baby brother fill Officer Rick in on the situation they ran into. He was gonna try to talk Rowan into taking a nap with him, then after that, he hoped he could talk her into something more.

* * *

"Dad! I don't see why I have to watch her. Why can't Carol? Or Beth? Or Maggie! She never does it. Maggie should have to take a turn," Carl complained fervently. He had to make his dad understand. He should be guarding the prisoners or on watch….anything but babysitting! "Watching the brat, er baby is women's work," He grumbled shifting the struggling child in question in his aching arms. She was getting heavy. Judith grabbed his hat and threw it on the ground with a happy shriek.

"Judith!" he groaned, trying to pick up his hat without dropping her. He knew, from experience, that if he put her down for even a second she would bolt.

"Son," Rick raised his voice to be heard over his daughter's shrill giggles as she slapped at her unhappy brother's face. "There is no _men_ or _women's_ work here and I suggest you think before you run your mouth again. If something needs to be done, you do it and don't complain. We're all doing what we can."

"But Dad…" he began again even more earnestly than before.

"Carl! I don't have time for this!" he said a little more sharply than he intended to but he had more important matters to attend to and his son could damn well watch Judith and keep her out of trouble for a little while longer.

"Rick!" Daryl called out as he jogged to reach him. "Hey Carl, Ass-kicker," he greeted the kids, ruffling the sparse dark hair on Judith's head. She bounced in Carl's arms and reached for Daryl who took her gladly and tossed her up in the air.

"Wheeeeeee!" she giggled as she flew a few feet above Dixon's head.

Rick's heart almost stopped when gravity kicked in and he watched his only daughter plummet toward the earth but the redneck easily caught her…mere inches from the ground.

"I missed ya, Lil Ass-kicker!" Daryl said with a grin as he propped the laughing little one comfortably on his hip.

"More!" she begged throwing her arms in the air. "Wheeeee!"

"That's enough, Judith," her father quickly intervened. He wasn't sure his heart could take that again. "What's up, Daryl?"

"Ya need to know what we saw out there," the younger Dixon brother informed him.

About damn time, Rick thought. They had only been back a few hours but they returned in a different vehicle, with a prisoner, and a homicidal Merle Dixon. There had to be a hell of a story behind that.

Caesar wiped the sweat from his face with a bandana before entering the prison. He knew he should have been here sooner for breakfast but he needed to get his head together before facing the group. The site that greeted him in the dining area was not quite what he expected to see.

"Amanda?"

"Shit!" she said as her head hit the underside of the table. "Caesar! Good, you can help me."

"What are you…?"

"Hurry, Caesar! Before it gets away…" Another bump and "Shit! Little bastard bit me Damn it!"

He jumped out of the way as an unidentifiable blur bolted past him. "What the hell was that?"

"Kitten."

"Bullshit," he laughed with disbelief, "Looked more like a rat or…hell, Amanda, I don't know what it looked like but a kitten wouldn't have been my first guess."

"It _was_ a kitten…a present from Daddy," she said, crawling out from under the table. "And I have been trying to catch it for the last fifteen minutes."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously!" she retorted with great frustration.

He smiled at her even though it hurt to do so. Not one part of his body didn't ache from the fight with Dixon except maybe his feet. Martinez held out his hand to help her up.

Amanda hesitated a moment. She wanted to trust him. She really did. Caesar's dark brown eyes met her bright blue ones…almost daring her to take his hand. They were filled with regret but no deception or malice. She put her hand in his and he closed his strong fingers and pulled her to her feet.

She removed her hand and wiped it on her shorts. "Sorry," she said, "It was kind of dirty under there. Guess it was looking for more food." There was no shortage of crumbs on the floor due to Judith's exuberant eating style.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and said, "So you're telling me your dad brought you a kitten?"

"Kitten_s_," she corrected him, stressing the "s". "Six of them…I think. Judith knocked the box over and they all ran away."

"Sorry?" He wasn't sure by her tone if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Thank you?" Amanda laughed. "I'm not sure how I feel about their great escape. To say that they were feral would be an understatement."

"Are we okay?" Caesar asked.

"I don't know yet." she said sadly.

"Fair enough," he answered. It was more than he expected and he would take whatever she was willing to give, Merle Dixon be damned.

She smiled and self-consciously pushed her messy hair behind her eyes. "I need to..."

"Yeah, I was just coming to see if there was anything left to eat," he said taking a step back so she could pass.

"Um…okay then…" she said awkwardly and hurried out of the cell block.

* * *

What the fu-? Daryl said looking around, realizing the entire male side of the Grimes family had left, leaving him with the slobbering, yet incredibly cute Princess Grimes. With a wide yawn and a few unintelligible babbles, the toddler rested her head on his chest and started sucking her thumb.

"They did this on purpose," he grumbled to himself. "Shit. What the hell am I 'spose to do with ya?"

"Shit," she muttered sleepily.

He put a big, calloused hand on the back of her head, "Shhh little darlin'," he said softly, "enough cussin'." He headed slowly toward the prison hoping to find someone to hand her off to. He had things to do and babysitting wasn't one of them.

"Hey Daryl," Glenn called from behind, after just being relieved from duty by Rick. "Wait up!"

_Wait up? Even a fucking turtle could pass him up._ Daryl clenched his teeth as the Korean's unusually loud footsteps came nearer. "Hey man, I need to ask you if you found some…."

Daryl turned slowly and hissed, "Shut the fuck up, Glenn, can't ya see she's asleep?"

Glenn stopped his tracks, eyes wide when he saw the napping Judith in the rough redneck's arms. "Sorry, I…"

"Shhhhh!" Daryl warned angrily as Judith shifted with a soft cry against him. Both men stood frozen until she settled back into slumber.

Glenn carefully eased around Daryl and mouthed, "I'll catch you later," and hurried along to the prison.

_Dumbass_. The younger Dixon continued his arduous path to the prison hoping to get the napping child to her crib without anymore incidents.

* * *

Beth looked up from cleaning the table just in time to see Daryl ease by with the baby. _How on earth did he end up with her…and asleep, at that?_ She wondered. Lately Judith had been notoriously hard to get down for a nap but she was sound asleep, cradled in his arms. Beth wiped her hands on the towel and left it behind to follow Daryl to the nursery. She stood in the doorway and watched while he gently lowered the sleeping toddler to the crib.

"That's a good Lil Ass-Kicker," he cooed as he covered her with a blanket then leaned down to kiss her lightly on the forehead. He turned to leave and ran right into Beth. "Fuck, girl!" Daryl yelped when he caught Beth watching him. Judith whined, yawned and stuck her thumb back in her mouth and sucked it loudly as she fell back asleep.

"Don't ya know it's dangerous to sneak up on me?" he asked quietly, roughly grabbing her by the waist and pulling her out of the room to cover her mouth with his. Her slender arms went around his neck and Daryl buried his face in her hair inhaling her sweet scent. He missed her so damn much, never actually comprehending the depth of his feelings until that moment in the farmhouse when he thought they just might not make it back alive. Someone one up above was looking out for his sorry ass and he couldn't imagine why but he was damn thankful.

"You're good with her," his blonde angel said, looking up at him with that sweet, sexy smile and wide blue eyes. Her hips moved into his.

_Holy shit!_ "Ya better not be thinking what I think you're thinkin'," he growled.

"All I ever wanted to be was a mother," she said, rising up to nip his ear with her teeth while her hands squeezed his ass.

"No way, darlin'. Not now. There's gonna be enough babies around here soon. You'll have plenty to _play_ with," he told her emphatically.

"Don't you want one of your own, our own?" she asked, tracing the shell of his ear with her tongue.

_Fuck. _He was gonna have to be careful that he didn't end up a daddy himself from lack of willpower. Ain't no way he could resist her wiles if she really had her mind set on getting pregnant.

"Ain't gonna happen, Angel." Dixons weren't cut out to be fathers. Their abysmal upbringing didn't prepare them for parenting. All he had to do was look at Merle. No matter how hard his brother tried to do right, he always managed to somehow fuck up when it came to being a daddy.

Beth pouted then ran a finger across the exposed skin on his chest and hooked it around the top button of his shirt. "Well, did you find any condoms?"

"Hell yeah, I did," he replied, already feeling the tightening in his groin from her touch. "But don't tell no one 'cause we ain't sharing!"

"Come with me, sugar," she drawled softly, tugging on his shirt, "and let me show you how much I missed you."

* * *

_**This update was a little later than usual but all of my kids are out of school now and I have veggie garden that is begging for attention...so, over the summer I'm will have less time to write therefore the updates will be less frequent but I love writing this story and plan to see it to the end as long as I still have readers/reviewers. **_

_**Thank you for be patient and for sticking with me this far...your words keep my words flowing so please drop me a line and let me know what you think.**_

_**Thanks to Siarh for being a thoughtful and patient editor.**_

_**Happy reading!**_


	47. Chapter 47

Rick knew his control over the group was tenuous at best. He didn't worry about Hershel, Glenn, or Oscar. They were content to let him make the decisions. Even though he wasn't exactly comfortable solely being responsible for everyone's safety, he would do the best that he could to make sure their trust wasn't misplaced.

Merle Dixon was going to do whatever the hell he wanted to do and that was that. Daryl was torn between family loyalty and friendship. Martinez…he seemed content to go along with Rick's leadership as long as he thought it was in Amanda's best interest.

Whatever transpired on the road between the Dixons and the man called the Governor or Philip Blake…well that seem to open up a whole new can of worms. Rick questioned the female prisoner, Karen, thoroughly. She seemed to be in shock after finding out Woodbury's founder wasn't the benevolent saint he portrayed himself to be but Rick was able to get a little more information out of her than he was from either Dixon. Merle told him to go fuck himself and Daryl gave him a sketchy account so full of holes that Rick wasn't sure it was of any use.

Karen's main focus was her teenage son, Noah. He was still in that dangerous haven and she begged Rick to free her so she could go to him or, and this was the real kicker…he could send someone to "rescue" the boy and bring him to the prison. As much as he would like to have reunited mother and son, there was no way he could let her leave now nor was he risking any of his peoples' lives to retrieve the kid.

The woman also confirmed the story of the other two prisoners, Tyreese and Sasha. They were at Woodbury briefly. Then it got complicated. The brother and sister claimed to have left the town because they were not "comfortable" with the leader who they believed to be extreme since the man was training women and children to be soldiers under the guise of self-protection. They were allowed to leave but "soldiers" soon followed and tried to kill them.

Karen told him the Governor said that the two had thrown Woodbury hospitality back in the face of the residents, stole weapons, killed a couple of guards and escaped in the dark of night. End of story.

And if what else the woman said was true…that Blake was the father of Amanda's baby and that he vowed take the baby, then they needed to prepare for his attack…if he was still alive. Daryl said his brother stabbed him but he didn't know if it was a fatal wound therefore they would have to act like it wasn't so they wouldn't be caught off guard.

Rick still didn't know where Martinez fit into this whole mess. It couldn't be good since Dixon tried to kill him. Karen didn't mention Caesar or Rowan for that matter. That meant that she must not know he came here with Merle. She went on about how Merle Dixon had changed; she wanted to know why he was so mean now. That was ironic since Grimes didn't know the older Dixon any other way but high or ornery. Karen said he was a good, kind man…Rick shook his head. Nope. He couldn't picture it. The best he could come up with was tolerable. Merle Dixon was tolerable, more or less…

"Hello?" Amanda called out as she reached the top of the steps of the guard tower. She carried a blanket and pillow under her arm.

"Hey, Mandy," he replied, surprised to see her. Whatever transpired this morning with her dad and Martinez obviously involved her.

"Mind if I crash here?" she asked with a wide yawn.

"Not at all, hon." He gestured to the chair.

"Please don't look at me like that, Rick."

"Like what?" he cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"You know…with goddamn pity, that's what," she retorted flopping down on the chaise.

"Mandy…" Rick began.

"Save it," she interrupted. "I know you heard about the "new" baby daddy. Who didn't? There are no secrets here…at least none that stay secret."

"You're right." He turned back to scan the area surrounding the front of the prison.

"Instead of being raped by a sadistic monster it was by an egomaniacal psychopathic monster," she said grimly, hugging her pillow. "The fact is that I'm still pregnant so nothing has really changed, has it?"

Rick shook his head and answered softly even though he really didn't think she was expecting an answer. "No. I suppose it hasn't," Except the fact that the aforementioned egomaniacal psychopathic monster planned to take his baby. Whether she understood that or not, he didn't know and wasn't going to bring it up. She didn't need anything else to worry about.

"You have something to eat up here?" she asked hopefully, changing the subject.

He smiled regretfully. "Sorry, Mandy. I have some water." He held out his bottle.

"I have some too," she said holding up her own.

"I can look through the new supplies if you want," Rick offered. "Maybe they brought something good back."

She smiled. "I'd like that."

Speaking more to himself than to her, he said, "Let me get someone to take over guard duty…"

"I can watch Rick. I'm not an invalid," she grumbled, pushing herself up, almost tipping the chaise.

He raised a brow as if to contradict her statement.

"Asshole," she half-laughed and threw her pillow at him. Missing the intended target, it sailed over the wall and into a walker.

"Damn it!" she looked over the edge to see if her pillow was salvageable. It wasn't. It was currently hanging on the protruding bone of a fractured humerus of a female walker.

"That's the second time you did that. Maybe you oughtta work on your aim?" he teased. with a chuckle.

She punched his arm. "If I recall correctly, you promised to find me a good one…which you have not done…yet."

"I did, didn't I?" He rubbed his chin, watching the walkers mill about below. "Does that mean I owe you two?"

She turned to face him with hands on her hips. "Damn straight, it does, Grimes. And not two of these cheap prison-issue pillows. I want real ones."

He laughed. "Okay, Dixon. You keep watch and I'll bring you something to eat and a new pillow. You'll have to settle for prison-issue until I can go on a run."

Amanda stood up and held her hand out for his binoculars. "Deal."

* * *

Rick rummaged through the supplies that were stacked haphazardly in the pantry. Carol was usually more organized than this but today had been chaotic. There had to be something a pregnant woman would want to eat…sweet or salty? Shit. He wondered which one Mandy was craving—probably both. He threw a few possibilities into a bag…something to cover all the bases.

When he was just about to leave, a worn box peeking out from under the bottom shelf caught his eye. It probably got kicked under there, who knows when, and it went unnoticed…until now…otherwise it wouldn't still be untouched; that he knew for a fact. Smiling triumphantly, he stuffed the treasure in the bag and headed back to the guard tower.

* * *

The grin on Rick's face meant he must have found something good. Amanda couldn't help but smile back in anticipation. The canvas bag he carried was full but not to the top so she couldn't see a thing though she tried.

"Stop peeking!" he scolded with a chuckle, holding the bag out of reach of her greedy hands. "You'll get to see everything in good time."

"Rick, I'm really am hungry," she said with an exaggerated whine.

"Cut that out, Mandy! You sound like Carl!" He sat the bag on the floor and pulled out a large jar of pickles…dill to be precise.

She frowned. "I believe those belong to Rowan."

"You can have them if you want them," he said conspiratorially.

She shook her head. "Let me see what else is in there," she demanded.

Rick held up another can, rectangular in shape.

"Spam? Seriously?" She grimaced. She wasn't that hungry yet but who knows…

He laughed, setting it aside. "How about this?" he asked handing her a can.

"Peaches? Okay, give me those," she said. "What else?"

He pulled out another can…a flat, rectangular tin.

"Sardines? Rick? Now you're just being mean!" she pouted.

"I'm doing my best. I don't know what your craving, honey," he said apologetically.

"Chocolate? Is that too much to hope for?" She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Of course she wanted chocolate. He tried not to smile at the pitiful look on her face. "I'm sorry, Mandy…that is in short supply but I do have applesauce."

"I'll take it," she said grudgingly, "But for future reference, applesauce is not a suitable substitute for chocolate." She grabbed the jar out of his hand.

Rick laughed. "Don't snatch and you forgot to say please…or thank you," he scolded teasingly.

"Sorry. Please and thank you," Amanda replied contritely. "I'm hungry…you did bring a can opener, didn't you?"

Rick paused. "Oh shit…"

"Rick!" She moaned.

He grinned and pulled one out of his back pocket. "I was a boy scout. I am always prepared."

"Of course you were," Amanda smiled as she opened the can of peaches. She sniffed them, shrugged and began to devour them quickly with her fingers since Ranger Rick forgot a spoon. She wasn't complaining though, canned peaches never tasted so good. "What else?" she asked with her mouth full.

"There is one last thing, but I don't think you'll like it," he said doubtfully.

"It can't be worse than sardines. Let me see?" she asked swallowing the last of the peaches.

He slowly, teasingly, pulled out the faded cardboard package, the words were illegible but the shape was unmistakable.

Her blue eyes widened and she gasped. "What flavor?" Dare she hope? _Please be pudding and not fruit!_

"Can't tell, Mandy. Looks like the labels got wet." Rick held it out for her.

She grabbed the box which fell apart and four small metal pop top cans rolled across the floor of the guard tower. "No!" she cried, crawling after the closest one.

Rick retrieved the other three and handed them to her.

"I used to take these in my lunch…she smiled and popped open the small can and squealed in delight. "Chocolate pudding!"

* * *

Amanda stretched out on the chaise surrounded by empty cans and a grinned like a cat that got the cream. She ate all four chocolate pudding cups, the peaches and the applesauce. To be fair, she had offered Rick one of the puddings and he politely declined. She wasn't sure she would have let him have one if he said yes but she had to ask. Her mom had drilled politeness and good manners into her while her dad taught her every man, or woman, for themselves.

His handsome profile was silhouetted in the glow of the full moon and a small pang gripped her heart. She wondered if he was feeling any regrets about dumping her. She wanted to hate him but damn…he brought her chocolate pudding at the end of the world. Still…she had a little pride left and wasn't going to let him know that even now his rejection hurt. Amanda had been doing a pretty good job of pushing the pain aside with the distraction of Caesar but being here alone with Rick made it all fresh again. Damn him for being nice to her. Bastard.

She listened to the soft footsteps that carefully ascended to the top of the tower and turned her head slightly to see Rowan with her own pillow and blanket. She nodded to Rick and turned back to Amanda. "Mind if I join you?

"Not at all but I think Daddy's going to go ballistic at you climbing the steps," she answered.

The dark-haired woman shrugged and turned to Rick. "You've been up a long time. Get some sleep. Amanda and I will take this shift."

He looked at her like he really wanted to but was wondering if it was a good idea. "I'm not sure…"

"Get out of here, Grimes," Rowan ordered. "We're pregnant, not invalids."

Amanda burst into giggles. "You heard the woman, Grimes. Get out of here."

"Alright, ladies. I know when I'm not wanted." He handed the binoculars to Rowan. "Glenn and Maggie will relieve you two after midnight." He stopped briefly to pick up the empty cans that surrounded Amanda's chair.

"It wasn't that funny," Rowan said, after Rick left, taking her post at the wall.

"It was too because I told him the same thing less than an hour ago," she informed her father's girlfriend.

"Merle scared me, Amanda," she confessed, her voice carried a slight tremble.

She had seen her father lose his temper before but never to the point that she thought that he would actually kill someone. Not like this morning. "He scared me too," she admitted solemnly.

"I thought he was going to kill Caesar. I never saw him out of control like that before." Rowan let out a shaky breath and brought the binoculars to her eyes but she couldn't see much through the tears she was trying to hold back.

"Me either."

"Really?" She turned to see if Merle's daughter was serious.

The other woman hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. "Yeah, really."

"Can I ask you something…personal?"

Amanda snorted. There was nothing personal that living in confined quarters didn't reveal. She couldn't imagine what her daddy's lover wanted to know. "Of course, Rowan. Ask away."

"Was he like this before…you know…" she gestured to devastation around them. Abandoned cars littered the roadway. Overgrown vegetation did little to hide the forlorn vacant house houses. She paused for a second look at the biter with a pillow caught on its broken arm.

"Not with me but I only saw him a few months out of the year." Amanda thought about it for a moment then told her, "He was in military prison for beating the shit out of an officer."

They were both silent as they mulled over the oldest Dixon's foul and unpredictable temperament.

"I'm scared for me and the baby." Rowan put the binoculars down and turned to Amanda. "I know…I know that Merle was physically abused. I've seen the scars." And dreadful things they were, she shuddered. "Does Daryl have them too?" She seriously wondered if the father of her child would have to strength to break the vicious cycle of abuse.

"Yeah, he does," she answered quietly. Amanda never knew her grandfather. He died before she was born but she knew he was a violent drunk that took out his anger and frustration on his family. The first time she had seen the scars she was ten and she asked her uncle about it. He told her to forget she ever saw them. It was the first time Daryl had ever raised his voice to her and it scared her enough to keep her mouth shut though she could never forget the grisly sight.

Almost hesitantly, Rowan asked, "Has Merle ever hurt you?"

"Not physically," Amanda answered. She figured she didn't need to go into the emotional pain he caused her entire life…she still loved him. She couldn't help it but most of the time she didn't like him very much.

"What about your mom? Did he ever hit her?" For her own peace of mind, Rowan had to know.

"No. I don't think so," she answered. Honestly, she didn't know but her mom was a firecracker and Amanda doubted that Merle would still be alive if he had ever hit her.

"I don't know what to do." Rowan loved him but she was scared; and it was not like she could just leave. Where the hell would she go? Not back to Woodbury, that was certain.

Amanda rose from the lounger and went to stand by the other woman. "You do realize that I am the wrong person to ask for relationship advice."

Rowan sighed loudly. "My track record isn't so good either." First the psychotic Governor to the unpredictable Merle Dixon.

"What a pair we make," Amanda chuckled mirthlessly.

"You know, what Caesar did…it wasn't all that bad," the slightly younger woman commented.

"I thought you said I should to wait for Rick." Amanda reminded her.

Rowan pushed her long hair over her shoulder and said, "I think I changed my mind."

"Why?" She was puzzled by her friend's change of heart.

"If Caesar still stands by you after almost getting killed by your dad, he must really love you."

There was that but…"I don't know if he does….love me."

"Ask him," Rowan suggested. How hard could that be?

"I don't know if I can." What Amanda really didn't know was if she wanted to know. Caesar did say he thought was falling in love with her but those punches by her father probably knocked him right back out of it.

"Want me to?" Rowan asked, nudging her shoulder with her own.

Amanda laughed and shoved her back. "We aren't in high school."

Rowan laughed but stopped suddenly and turned to her friend and in all seriousness said, "I smell chocolate."

Damn! "No you don't," Amanda replied quickly not able to keep the guilt out of her voice.

Rowan's brown eyes grew wide with the realization that Amanda wasn't being honest. "Yes I do and you ate it! Whatever it was…you ate it all, didn't you?" she accused, her voice growing shrill.

Amanda backed away quickly and grabbed the sack of food Rick left behind. "There's some pickles left." It was true. She only ate a few of those.

"Dill?" Rowan asked, arms crossed, eyes that were usually soft turned cold and hard flashing with…skepticism and more than a…maniacal shine.

"Yep!" she answered holding the jar out at arm's length. "Take them."

"Okay. I guess I'll have to let you live," she conceded, taking a bite out of a slender spear. "But if you ever come across any again you better share!"

There was brief moment when Amanda actually feared for her life, well almost. "You are a perfect match for my daddy."

* * *

_**Thank you Siarh for the edits.**_

_**Thanks for reading and ESPECIALLY for sticking with me this far. Don't worry if your favorite characters didn't show up in this chapter, I'll do my best to make sure they are in the next.**_

_**Please drop a quick note in the box below (or long one if you prefer). I still love to hear from you. **_

_**Happy summer and happy reading!**_


	48. Chapter 48

Merle Dixon had barely slept the past three days and was dead on his feet but when he got to the cell he shared with Rowan, she wasn't there. Her pillow was gone. _Fuckin' hell_! He fucked up bad this time. Had she gone and left him? _Without saying a goddamn word? Oh, hell no._ As much as he hated to talk about relationship shit, she wasn't gonna leave him without with talkin'. _Ain't nothing that can't be fixed, damn it! _

Adrenaline coursed through his body in record time as he stomped off to find her. Merle was more awake now than he had been in the past few days. Damn it, he was furious but when it dawned on him that he wasn't so much mad at Rowan as he was at himself, he slowed his pace unconsciously. Merle Dixon was mad as hell at himself for being scared witless that she may actually be gone.

_Wait one goddamn minute!_ He rubbed his face with left hand and slammed the wall with his right arm; a sharp pain shot from his missing hand straight to his shoulder. "Fuck!" he yelled, unable to rub the throbbing away due to the prosthetic covering. _Calm down, Dixon. Get hold of yourself 'fore you run in, guns blazing, and do something truly stupid. Breathe, ya damned fool pussy. _Eyes clenched, he inhaled then let his breath out slowly. He inhaled again filling his lungs with as much oxygen as he could before releasing it. _Okay asshole, let's try this again. _

He entered the dining area, nodded calmly to Hershel, who was sitting at the end of the long table reading the Bible in the fading light. He stuck his head in the kitchen; Carol and Martinez were finishing the dishes. Martinez' gaze met his and darkened to an angry black. The man didn't turn away from what Merle considered his most intimidating glare. He knew he was a tough son of a bitch but _damn_, he kind of expected him to…well he didn't know what but it wasn't to stare back at him with a death glare of his own. He'd have to watch his back now. No one was watching it but Daryl.

"Ya seen Rowan, _Carol_?" Merle asked, deliberately leaving out his former friend.

Carol looked towards him briefly not meeting his eyes. No one was. Not since he almost killed Martinez. Seemed if anyone was going get kicked out of the prison it was going be him. "I believe Rick said she and Amanda wanted to take this watch."

"What the fuck?" he muttered to himself. _Watch_? His daughter and girlfriend were on watch together. It took him half a second to process the information. "Fuck!" he exclaimed and stormed out of the kitchen toward the guard tower.

* * *

Rowan fished out the dill pickle and savored the crunch of the very last spear just as much as she did the first. "Mmmm," she said, sucking the salty juice from her fingers. She looked despondently into the empty jar and briefly thought about drinking the juice. She didn't mean to eat the whole thing in one sitting but once she started she couldn't stop. Oh well, at least she would have to worry about hiding them from the others. She sighed contentedly and pulled her long hair back, tying it into a knot behind her neck.

Merle had watched as she devoured the pickle. A satisfied smile played on her lips replaced by a frown as she realized it was the last one. The slight bump of his baby was hidden in the oversize sweater she wore but he could still see it in his mind.

_Her slim naked body stretched out catlike on their bed holding his hand over her belly with hers. Come back to us, Merle Dixon, she told him before he and Daryl had left just a few days ago though it felt like a life time. She wouldn't let go of his hand until he promised. _

He focused on that image to remind him what he didn't want to lose and forced the angry words away. Now was not the time for anger. Not after this morning's episode. "Tastes that good, huh?" a gruff voice interrupted the quiet.

Rowan yelped and whirled to see Merle standing at the top of the stairs with his arms crossed. "Shit, Merle! You scared the living daylights out of me!"

Amanda sat straight up in the chair and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "What are you doing up here, Daddy?"

"Ya girls ain't doing such a good job of keeping watch, are ya? I been standin' here a full minute and neither one of ya noticed." He kept his voice level and walked over to Rowan, tempted to steal a kiss to see if her lips tasted like pickles but half-afraid she would pull away. He couldn't bear that.

"Well…well…you shouldn't be sneaking up on us like that," she said defensively, willing herself not to step back from his imposing figure. He wasn't really that much taller than her but where he was broad she was slight.

"Ya think the Governor's gonna wait till your done eatin' to attack?" he asked with a calmness that belied the fear and anger that warred inside. Merle had never been scared for another person except Daryl until he found his daughter and this wisp of a woman who now carried his baby. Being scared like a little pussy made his angry. Made him vulnerable, weak, and he didn't like it one damn bit! Life in hell had been easier when it was just him and his brother. Now he had Rowan, his baby, Amanda, and his grandbaby to take care of…shit…he had a whole goddamn family and it would kill him if he let anything happen to them.

"Merle! That's not fair. It was pickles. Real dill pickles…"

"And pudding…chocolate pudding," Amanda added, trying to be helpful.

"Ain't no excuse," he reprimanded them both but tempered his words at the contrite faces looking back at him. _Goddamn it._ He was a pussy.

The two women looked appropriately ashamed. "You're right, Merle. There is no excuse. We'll do better," Rowan replied taking his large hand in both of hers and giving it a squeeze.

"Sorry, Daddy. We just got a little distracted." For a moment a vision of a young Ladybug with wild curls bouncing around her never-still six-year-old self grinned at the oldest Dixon, front tooth missing.

He shook the image away. "Gimme the binoculars," he demanded.

"It's too dark…"

"Just give em to me, girl," he repeated tiredly.

Rowan did and Merle quickly scanned the area. It really was too dark. He needed some damn night vision goggles like he had in Woodbury. He put the binoculars down in disgust. "Sit down, darlin' and I'll keep watch for awhile."

"Merle," she protested. "You need sleep more than me."

"I'm fine," he growled impatiently. "Can't sleep without ya so I might as well wait till Chinaman and his woman get here then we can go back together."

"I, uh…" Rowan looked away nervously.

"What?" Merle snapped.

"I don't know," she said softly.

"Ya leaving me?" he asked stone cold, all of his defenses slamming instinctually into place to hide his rapidly pounding heart and the icy fear that gripped his gut.

She still didn't look at him as she struggled for the right words. "I'm…uh…I…"

"Shit, Daddy," Amanda said with annoyance. "After that stunt you pulled on Caesar, she's afraid you might hurt her or the baby."

"Amanda!" Rowan exclaimed, utterly horrified that her friend would just blurt it out like that.

"Well that's what you said!" Amanda replied, full of self-righteous indignation.

"But I didn't want to…"

"Rowan, is that what you really think? That I'd hurt ya?" Dixon was cold and hard on the outside but inside he was crumbling. He knew it. He fucked up real bad this time. The fear was in her eyes. He saw it before she looked away. He clenched his fist to keep it from shaking.

She couldn't look at him. She was afraid to see his face when she said, "I don't know what to think, Merle."

"Darlin', I thought you knew how I felt about ya," his raspy voice softened as he raised his trembling hand to gently turn her chin to face him.

"I did, I mean I do but you really scared me, Merle," she confessed as a single tear escaped and trickled down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb.

"You scared me too, Daddy," Amanda admitted.

"Fuck me!" he exclaimed under his breath, dropping his hand.

Deciding that she really didn't want to be in the middle of this discussion between her daddy and his girl friend, Amanda picked up her blanket and said, "Maybe I should go back in."

"Sit down! Ladybug!" He turned away from both women and closed his eyes. _Get a hold of your goddamn rage, Dixon._ He said a little softer with great restraint, "Ya ain't walkin' around in the dark by yourself, young lady, so sit down, close your mouth, and just pretend ya ain't here."

"Whatever you say, sir." Amanda slid her chair back into the darkest corner. "Is this better?" She bit her lip to keep from giggling. The sugar high from the four chocolate pudding cups hadn't worn off completely.

"Smart ass." Merle threw her a dirty look then turned back his woman. When he was figuring out what to say to her, before he came to the tower, he didn't take into account that his daughter would be an audience. Now, he was the one at a loss for words. Not so much at a loss for words but at a loss for the _right_ words…the ones that would not send Rowan running away as fast as her feet could carry her. He could not fuckin' screw this up. It wasn't that he couldn't live without her. Merle Dixon didn't need anyone. He just didn't want to live without her.

* * *

Caesar lay back on his bunk and closed his eyes…eye to be precise since one was already swollen shut. Every part of his body ached and no matter how he shifted he couldn't get comfortable. He heard every creak, skittering feet, and groan of the prison. He absently wondered if the skittering feet were Amanda's kittens or rats. Maybe it was noise from some other animal altogether. Perhaps it was raccoons…or even possums. A smile barely tugged at one corner of his mouth, remembering the story Amanda had told him about mistaking possums for kittens when she was only four.

Damn, he grunted and rolled on his side. He was never going to fall asleep. He kept his eyes closed, though; the darkness was a comfort. For the first time in a very long time he recited his prayers hoping they would bring comfort and chase the discord in his mind away long enough for him to fall asleep.

He reached for his cross and remembered it was gone when his fingers gripped nothingness. It hung around Amanda's neck. At least it did last time he saw her...under the dinner table. Now his mouth formed a real smile. She was so cute scrabbling under the table after that "kitten". A lone curl had fallen from her messy bun and dangled over an eye. She blew it away but it stubbornly fell back into place as she took his hand and pulled herself up. His eyes immediately focused on the chain that had slipped out of her top while she was on the floor. Maybe there was still a chance for him. And with that thought, he imagined his arms around her small body as she snuggled against his side for the night and drifted to sleep.

* * *

Daryl snored softly as he slept face down on the mattress he shared with Beth. She, however, was wide awake and stared pensively at the ceiling of their tent. Their lovemaking was frantic and he slipped into deep slumber faster than usual. The young woman sighed. _So this was what the phrase 'Wham, bam, thank you ma'am' means_. To be honest, she wasn't even sure she got a 'thank you' before Daryl slid off of her and face-first into his pillow. He was exhausted from the supply run and subsequent gunfight. She knew that. When coupled with the added stress of his brother almost killing Caesar…who wouldn't be exhausted?

_What was that about anyway?_ She thought Merle Dixon was okay with Caesar and his Amanda being together, or whatever they were. She liked Caesar well enough but Beth Greene knew in her heart that Amanda and Rick should be together. They loved each other. She knew she would find out what was going on soon enough since nothing stayed secret for long in the confines of the prison.

And who in the world was that woman they brought back? Daryl blew off her question when Beth asked him and mumbled something about her being 'just some crazy bitch from Woodbury.' Rick told Beth not to say anything to the prisoners. She thought that they were all polite enough and said thank you when she delivered their meals or water. They really didn't ask the young Greene woman much except when they heard Judith cry out. The younger prisoner, Sasha, asked if that was a baby she heard. Beth turned away and went back to her chores. She wasn't much of a liar and so it was easier for her to ignore any questions from the prisoners. She had a feeling they were just like them…the prison group…people just trying to survive.

Beth pursed her lips together and her brow furrowed as she pondered the thoughtfulness of the elder Dixon compared to the younger. Surprisingly, he had brought gifts for almost everyone: orphaned kittens for Amanda, a beautiful green sweater for Rowan, and a doll with long hair for Judith. Then he took Carl aside in a secretive manner and even gave him something...Beth gasped, her hand flew to her mouth. _It better not be condoms! _She shuddered at the thought of that little brat chasing her around or trying to bribe her with condoms. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to shake that mental picture from her brain and replace it with an image of her scruffy Daryl.

Daryl. Her eyes opened and she frowned with consternation. What did he bring for her? Nothing except his stinky, dirty, blood-caked self. And…for that, she was eternally grateful but still...she was a woman and she longed for a little something to show that he thought of her in a way other than sex, if he did. Did he? _Of course he did._ At least that is what Beth told herself. A rather loud snort from the oblivious man's prostrate form jarred her from those unpleasant thoughts and she turned to watch him sleep, seeing nothing other than the back of his head. They really needed to talk; more specifically, _she_ needed to talk. She elbowed him hard in the ribs. He grunted, rolled over to his back, and proceeded to snore even louder. Beth let out a frustrated sigh and turned on her side away from him, wishing she could sleep so soundly.

* * *

_**You may have noticed the new opossum photo for this story. Yesterday, I found this little guy and another in the junk drawer in my kitchen. No worries though, son and husband carried them out in a bucket and let them go in the woods far from the house. How they got in is anyone's guess...my dogs and cats aren't fessing up. **_

_**Thanks to siarh for help with editing this chapter.**_

_**Also, thanks to all those still reading and especially reviewing! I love reviews and I'm not afraid to admit it so please drop a line and let me know that you are still there and what you think.**_

_**Happy reading!**_


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